There are many catchphrases about Haskell. Haskell is useless. Haskell aims to avoid success at all costs. Haskell is the best procedural language in the world. These sound like dismissals or absurdities from the outside, but once you learn what they really mean, they take on a new light. In this article, I want to explain the third. (See the appendix if you are curious about the first two.) This