Talk:Jonah Lomu

Unreferenced implausible statistic

I deleted this sentence because the statistic about waist size is unreferenced and patently false - he was not a wasp - and I cannot see how to rewrite the sentence without it.

"However, his waist measurement of 69 cm (27 in) implies a Body Shape Index consistent with a healthy weight." 146.200.236.229 (talk) 02:19, 18 November 2015 (UTC)

References

Using 'Jonah'

I see that User:Grstain has replaced most occurrences of 'Jonah' in the text with 'Lomu'. I preferred using 'Jonah' occasionally to add variety to the text. Also, in New Zealand everyone over 14 knows who Jonah is, without reference to the surname. ~~ Papeschr 07:49, 27 October 2005 (UTC)

He is the best...

It sounds more encyclopaedic if it has his surname....

Latest revision

Nice work, fellow Wikipedians. This article has come a LONG way in the last year!! Compare it with version 31579393 ~~ Papeschr 06:01, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Jonah, as great as he was back in the day, was one of the worst defenders I've ever seen. Teams would just drop the ball in behind his corner and he would have no clue what to do with himself (once I think the ball rebounded off his head when he was attempting to catch it <vs france i think>) - neways I think this is a good article... - Poppa quirke

Opening / Personal Life

The opening paragraphs need better reference with Jonah's childhood / upbringing / early personal life as is customary in Wikipedia. His story was personally documented in Sky's "Anger Within" so not a huge secret. The more trivial stuff can be expanded on lower down like his financial problems, without unnecessary detail about car finance and house rental which is tittle tattle. Yes he did have a difficult / unusual upbringing, stormy / difficult relationships, fell ill. Someone with health problems is likely to run into financial difficulties. Can we just stick with more rounded facts and fix the opening. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 86.172.99.97 (talk) 09:51, 3 September 2016 (UTC)

References appear problematic

The references that cite websites appear to have a mistake An example ^ Jonah Lomu. kidzworld.com. Retrieved on 2007 July 22.

Well the article exists but the 'Retrieved on' is kind of problematic given that is sometime in the future

No biggie. Very well written otherwise --Tiucsib 06:09, 20 April 2007 (UTC)

It looks fine to me....--Cometstyles 15:09, 20 April 2007 (UTC)

OK I must be missing something. Here is a cut and paste of the 1st four references at the bottom of the article. I have marked them in bold. They show a Retrieved on Date that is in the future.

  1. ^ Jonah Lomu. kidzworld.com. Retrieved on 2007 July 22.
  2. ^ Jonah Lomu's rugby journey. bbc.co.uk. Retrieved on 2007 July 22.
  3. ^ a b c d Jonah Lomu. allblacks.com. Retrieved on 2007 July 22.
  4. ^ Jonah Lomu. abc.net.au. Retrieved on 2007 July 22.
  

--Tiucsib 21:17, 20 April 2007 (UTC)

re

Ehh..here is mine copy and paste

 # ^ Jonah Lomu. kidzworld.com. Retrieved on July 22, 2006.
 # ^ Jonah Lomu's rugby journey. bbc.co.uk. Retrieved on July 22, 2006.
 # ^ a b c d Jonah Lomu. allblacks.com. Retrieved on July 22, 2006.
 # ^ Jonah Lomu. abc.net.au. Retrieved on July 22, 2006.

• Maybe something is wrong with the date (clock) on your computer, try to see if the same thing applies for any other article such as Daniel Carter..--Cometstyles 10:19, 21 April 2007 (UTC)

I checked. For Daniel Carter and I still get 2007 but the dates are in the past

References

  1. ^ All Blacks crush Boks. sport.iafrica.com (2006-08-23). Retrieved on 2007-02-11.
  2. ^ "Daniel Carter To Buy World's First Microsoft Windows Vista PC And Auction It For Charity", News Wire, Newswire.co.nz, 2007-01-27. Retrieved on 2007-01-29.
  

So I dig deeper. It's not the clock, I checked that 1st.

So what is different between mine and yours

• I use Vista
• I use Firefox - I checked Jonah Lomu in Internet Explorer and it reads 2006 and not 2007

Therefore it looks like the function does not work in Firefox. Alternatively it is a Firefox/Vista combo problem

On Internet Explorer (Vista)

References

^ Jonah Lomu. kidzworld.com. Retrieved on 22 July 2006.

^ Jonah Lomu's rugby journey. bbc.co.uk. Retrieved on 22 July 2006.

^ a b c d Jonah Lomu. allblacks.com. Retrieved on 22 July 2006.

So in all likelihood there is a bug in that function to make it fail on Firefox

--Tiucsib 11:06, 21 April 2007 (UTC)

hllo81.145.240.73

Does anyone have any objections to removing the references to certain numbers of men 'hanging off' Lomu? This is hardly a quantifiable remark and not something that should appear in the article. That he was hard to tackle is undeniable, but there's no need to get schoolboy on the descriptions. -- Ghostreveries 23:36, 13 May 2007 (UTC)

RL

Manukau Magpies club * [1]Londo06 17:56, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

Style

I think this article needs a lot of grammatical work. dunno how it got GA... me no grammatist unfortunately.Boomshanka

Do you have any examples or is this just a general feeling? If you see something to fix, feel free to edit it yourself. Other editors will review it. Also, a tip: sign your comments with four tildes, like this: ~~~~. Cheers, Ropata 13:17, 23 September 2007 (UTC)

References and polishing

More references are needed. Some sentences needing them are:

• At one time Lomu was considered 'rugby union's biggest drawcard'
• Will Carling told reporters
• After the game, Carling was quoted as saying

And sentences like Lomu's physique was particularly suited for rugby as he is beast like in size, lightening quick, and as strong as an ox - qualities he augments with aggression, skill, and an intimidating presence on the field. are almost poetic but not encyclopedic. -- ReyBrujo 04:31, 5 October 2007 (UTC)

I have fixed most of those things. I'll work on it more later when I have time. It's not going to take much work to fix up I don't think. I have not referenced "rugby union's biggest drawcard" yet but that is certainly not controversial. I'll do it eventually though. - Shudde ^talk 05:16, 5 October 2007 (UTC)

GA Reassessment

This discussion is transcluded from Talk:Jonah Lomu/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the reassessment.

This article has been reviewed as part of Wikipedia:WikiProject Good articles/Project quality task force in an effort to ensure all listed Good articles continue to meet the Good article criteria. In reviewing the article, I have found there are a large number of issues that need to be addressed.

• It is reasonably well written.

  a (prose): b (MoS):

The prose is very poor, with stubby single line paragraphs. Lots of peacock terms, cliche and poor writing. Article needs a major overhaul to come up to standard.--Jackyd101 (talk) 00:45, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

• It is factually accurate and verifiable.

  a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

Sourcing is dreadful. Article's sourcing needs serious work both in citation of statements and wider use of sources.--Jackyd101 (talk) 00:45, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

• It is broad in its coverage.

  a (major aspects): b (focused):

Not up to date and hard to tell if this article is cmplete due to poor writing and sourcing.--Jackyd101 (talk) 00:45, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

• It follows the neutral point of view policy.

  a (fair representation): b (all significant views):

Too many peacock terms, not enough sources to make me comfortable agreeing with either of these.--Jackyd101 (talk) 00:45, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

• It is stable.

  

• It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.

  a (tagged and captioned): b (lack of images does not in itself exclude GA): c (non-free images have fair use rationales):

No rationale for fair-use image.--Jackyd101 (talk) 00:45, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

• Overall:

  a Pass/Fail:

I will check back in no less than seven days. If someone is willing to commit to making a serious effort to improve this article, let me know here or on my talk page in that time period. I will then go through the article with that person and make a detailed list of specific improvements to be worked on. If no one comes forward, the article will be delisted. If improved after it has been delisted, it may be nominated at WP:GAN again. Feel free to drop a message on my talk page if you have any questions. Regards--Jackyd101 (talk) 00:45, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

Seven days and no response, this article is now delisted.--Jackyd101 (talk) 16:03, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

Domestic career

The article in its present form provides almost no mention of Lomu's career in New Zealand, at either NPC or Super 12 (as it was then) level. For instance, his appearances for Wainuiomata, which are of little consequence to his overall career, are mentioned over his Super 12 titles with the Auckland Blues. A splitting of his career into 'domestic' and 'international' would be of benefit to address this. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 130.88.116.170 (talk) 15:53, 18 November 2015 (UTC)

You're welcome to propose some well-sourced sentences to insert. Stuartyeates (talk) 19:14, 18 November 2015 (UTC)

I agree, but personally I wouldn't split, just add brief mentions under the years. Currently I am just trying to get it up to front page standard by filling in missing cites and tightening up the prose a bit. AIRcorn (talk) 06:23, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Semi-protected edit request on 18 November 2015

IN : ==Early career== Jonah Lomu played rugby league at school until 14 years Jean Cazenave (talk) 19:01, 18 November 2015 (UTC)--Jean Cazenave (talk) 19:01, 18 November 2015 (UTC)

• Not done: please provide reliable sources that support the change you want to be made. --Stabila711 (talk) 20:11, 18 November 2015 (UTC)
• I suspect that over the next couple of days some really solid biographies / obits are going to be published in the local media. It may be best to wait until these see the light of day. Stuartyeates (talk) 20:19, 18 November 2015 (UTC)
•  Done Found a source that says he started in league although it doesn't mention the age. Added it in under Early Life. AIRcorn (talk) 06:21, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Jerry Collins co-incidence

Thoughts on the statement referring to the death of Jerry Collins in a car crash in June? Several editors have removed the statement as irrelevant, and I'm inclined to agree: it was over five months ago with the only connection being the same nationality and sport. One editor has reverted the removals four five times (breaching WP:3RR), and suggesting that it is relevant because it is mentioned multiple times in the media, although there was only one reference with a former player saying both Lomu and Collins had died this year. --Canley (talk) 03:40, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Canley, my rationale is very simple: 1) There are many sources which connect the two deaths—not just the one i provided. But i don't see the need to add every reference that backs my position. Do a simple Google search of "Jonah Lomu Jerry Collins" within the past 24 hours and you will see my point. 2) of course many prominent people die within months of each other; however, these two are quite intimately linked. Both played in the same teams, both died (according to commentators) tragically young, both were prominent islander rugby players.
I hope this may convince you.--Appleweb (talk) 04:13, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

One died in a car crash the other of a long term illness. I am not even sure they played together for the All Blacks (their careers only just overlap, although they would have played for the Hurricanes together). It is just a sad coincidence that they died within a couple of months of each other. It is only natural that some rugby players and commentators would mention Collins when remembering Lomu, but most I have seen are similar to the one you presented (reflections on the fragility of life). At the very least it needs better context. This version appears like it is just tacked on. That is half the problem and probably why it has been removed so many times by different editors. If it is kept it needs to explain why it is relevant in the article (using sources to do so). AIRcorn (talk) 06:16, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Semi-protected edit request on 19 November 2015

203.32.142.33 (talk) 04:21, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Death

It has been speculated by medical experts that Jonah Lomu's sudden cardiac arrest and death was likely caused by pulmonary embolism brought on by his long aeroplane flight from Dubai, a condition for which his nephrotic syndrome put him at high risk.

If you can provide a source I will happily add that. AIRcorn (talk) 06:17, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Semi-protected edit request on 19 November 2015

Death

It has been speculated by medical experts that Jonah Lomu's sudden cardiac arrest and death was likely caused by pulmonary embolism brought on by his long aeroplane flight from Dubai, a condition for which his nephrotic syndrome put him at high risk. 203.32.142.33 (talk) 04:25, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Not done: please provide reliable sources that support the change you want to be made. Stickee (talk) 05:50, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Just noticed this discussion. According to this from the London Evening Standard the most likely cause of death was venous thromboembolism. John Mayhew, the former All Blacks physician, is quoted as saying: "We think the most likely cause was a clot on the lung which can be a complication of long distance travel. Jonah was at greater risk of that happening because of his renal condition." Personally though I think we should wait to see if there is any official announcement on this. This is Paul (talk) 23:07, 26 November 2015 (UTC)

Grammar and logic

A number of corrections are needed to the article. "When his parents divorced and Jonah became estranged to HIM until 2008" is meaningless. How did being "exposed to gang violence losing an uncle and a cousin to attacks".. lead "his mother to send him to Wesley College"? He married Tanya Rutter and divorced - "in which his family never approved". His family did not have to approve of either marriage or divorce, and the grammar is bad. I presume that what was meant was that "his family did not approve of the divorce". The second marriage was not in a "secret ceremony", though it may have been a private one.Royalcourtier (talk) 07:07, 28 November 2015 (UTC)

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• Jonah Lomu Madame Tussaud london.jpg

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