A Year with Head Trauma, Mild Brain Injury

It’s my birthday and Facebook does the function that it is best at, getting birthday wishes from many nice people around the world.

I’ve had severe head trauma for the last year, confusingly called in the US a mild brain injury, and alas it’s not fixed yet. The symptoms are very random, sometimes I get very fatigued and need to sleep, sometimes I get head aches that can’t be touched by any combination of drugs, sometimes I just need to lie down and stare into space, sometimes I run out of breath and sometimes I’m entirely fine. Sometimes I go to sleep early, sometimes late, sometimes I get up early, sometimes late. Sometimes I can cycle out to ratho and go climbing for a few hours, other times I have trouble leaving the house.

My eyes still have double vision, they’ve been healing slowly which is annoying because it’ll still need surgery one day but they can’t give it yet incase it overcorrects. Maybe next month.

Time moves faster is the most curious symptom, it’s evening before I expect it’s afternoon, the months finish before they should and a year has gone by before I noticed it had.

The Department of Work and Pensions are supposed to refund my hospital costs from France but they have a presumably deliberately inefficient system which has taken a year to tell me I sent the wrong paperwork, I do wish the government would just be honest about not wanting to pay for it.

I’ve travelled for work to California, Copenhagen and Tallin, tiring but rewarding. The forest in Tallin is just like a fairy tale, the cargo ships of Oakland are impressive and Copenhagen just does the right thing when it comes to bikes. I’ve even visited the tourist traps in England of Long Eaton and Manchester. I love visiting friends around the world or having people visit me, thanks Paul, Chris, Ryan, Roman, Natalie and especially Beth who has done ever so much looking after me. My new employer expects to open an office in Barcelona soon which I’m really looking forward to, that’ll be a commute worth doing.

I’ve achieved a number of things this year. Starting with fixing the roof of my house, not a big achievement but interesting that I can do it when none of the 10 other owners of the building can (most of them running it as a commercial business). My first foreign trip involved organising KDE’s presence at FOSDEM, on the way home I actually collapsed on the train after running for a late connection but it felt good to be helping people. I spent a lot of time looking into a potential new site for my canoe club, that ended up with lying and incompetent politicians and civil servants but I did stop Scottish Canals from kicking us out our current building and moving us to the edge of the city by shouting at them, extra aggressiveness from head trauma coming in useful there maybe. I ran the biggest canoe slalom there has ever been in Scotland, that was too much. I changed employer, I reasoned this was easier than changing job as my old employer wanted me too, a good choice I think although the transitional details have been stressful from my old employer.

Targets for next year I think will be to get Kubuntu working well on tablets for work. And get back into running some canoe trips for leisure. I’ve recently started some driving under guidance again, it’s tiring so I need to be careful but I’m a careful sort. Weirdly the DVLA gave me the all clear to drive after a peripheral vision test – I have twice as much peripheral vision as before not less, the actual issue is reaction times which they don’t seem to care about. Mostly I need to take things easy, grab the maximum enjoyment I can and do more gentle exercise, I have a habit of doing none when I feel poor and doing too much when I feel good.

How to Recover: Comebacks from Traumatic Brain Injury is a great blog I follow. Brainlash is a great book. I wish the neurologist had pointed me at these when I had my only appointment instead of an unhelpful “he’ll recover, I hope” letter. There’s not much can be done for head trauma but information to cope would be the obvious thing, it took me 10 months to find out that NHS Lothian even made their own useful leaflets on the topic. I’ve been referred to a rehabilitation consultant but I’ve not heard back from them and I don’t know what they can do anyway.

Now a couple of weeks of parties and gatherings but mostly I’ll be relaxing. If I seem unfriendly or disinterested at all, it’s just a normal symptom of head trauma, keep those birthday wishes coming it’s much appreciated. I’m looking forward to another year of randomness.

Riddellleaks M.D.

My riddell@gmail address continues to get all sort of e-mails intended for other people called Riddell. Today I had the first chat with someone and ended up giving her advise on bronchiectasis. It’s nice to be able to help people.

Previously on Riddellleaks: Foreign Office Invites me to Security Meeting, RiddellLeaks – Foreign Office Latest.

15:02 Su: Peep po!
me: hello
15:03 Su: just looking at who was online and thought I’d say hello
15:04 me: howdy, do I know you?
7 minutes
15:11 me: oh well, guess not 🙂
15:12 Su: sorry, Phil has popped in and was just chatting to us
whilst your there. May I ask your advice on a Mum issue?
15:13 me: umm, ok
5 minutes
15:18 Su: A couple of weeks ago, she had a home visit by her GP. He said that her lungs are failing. I called her last night and on asking how she was got the usual angry response “I feel ill”. I asked what was wrong and she repeated that her lungs are failing, and she was worried about the xmas break. I suggested I phone her GP to find out more about her lung failure (thinking I would also get a prognosis). She flew into a rage saying she forbad me to contact him. My probably is that she tells me she is seriously ill before every time we go away. Do you know anything about lung failure – is it a long term or sudden condition?
15:21 me: I expect there could be any number of reasons for lung failure, not one condition
15:22 Su: she has bronchiectiis
15:23 me: NHS england has some info here http://www.nhsinform.co.uk/health-library/articles/b/bronchiectasis/introduction
15:24 bacterial infection
needs antibiotics
15:25 unlikely to lead to sudden failure if she’s got antibiotics
without knowing you or your mum it’s probably not wise for me to advise more
15:26 Su: Sorry it was unfair to ask.
The NHS site is very useful
5 minutes
15:31 Su: Have a lovely xmas, and watch out for the re-launch of the Westerb fan site on Facebook!
15:32 me: thanks, I shall, although I don’t know what that is and I don’t know you on facebook
15:33 maybe you want S Riddell? she seems to be a facebook friend of yours
15:36 Su: Thank you very much for your advice, and patience. I am sorry I that I have just twigged that you are complete stranger to me!!!!!
me: no bother 🙂
15:37 Su: Well we’ve given my colleagues a good laugh – happy christmas and good bye!!

heraldscotland.com Subscription

Today I subscribed to heraldscotland.com. Being the self-righteous type I give to various charities and good causes monthly and I consider this to be the same. Newspapers are losing readers fast as people either read them on the internet or stop bothering to care about the news. Newspapers are responding to this by either moving into sensation tabloidism ending in scandals like phone hacking or re-printing articles from agencies and other papers (churnalism is the term). So I think it’s up to everyone to support decent newspapers while they still exist. I buy the Sunday Herald every week because it has genuinely interesting and original articles, it’s Scottish and has good design. But that’s still nothing compared to my parent’s generation who buy newspapers every day of the week.

The Herald’s website heraldscotland.com recently required a registration after 5 articles and subscription after 10. It’s only £35 a year (or £3 every 4 weeks) which I recon is very cheap. However when charging for something that used to be free, and is freely available from many competitors, something more should be given. You still get annoying flashing adverts which I would have expected to disappear when subscribing. And the need for a subscription is trivially worked around anyway by just deleting the site’s cookies in your browser. The subscription has a joint option with the daily Herald but I’m not Glaswegian and only want to read the Sunday Herald yet there’s no subscription option for that. It’s good to help responsible journalism but I think to be at all sustainable they need to give us readers more of a reason to subscribe.

Recovery from Severe Traumatic Head Injury

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At the end of November I was misfortunate enough to end up with severe traumatic head trauma and double vision. After 2.5 months the signs are good for a recovery.

Severe traumatic head injury is when you get a nasty shock to the head and end up in a coma for 1 day to 2 weeks (I was out for 3 days). Waking up from a coma is not like in films, I had two days in a delirium gradually realising I wasn’t dreaming and something was up. My nice flatmate and dad came and rescued me from that.

Back in Scotland the NHS (remember it’s independent here, no playing around with it as David Cameron is doing in England) gave me an MRI scan to check my brain had no dead patches in it, fortunately there were not.

However there are no magic drugs for brain trauma, a lot of neurons need to get rebuilt so it just needs a long slow recovery. My cognitive abilities have been improving nicely week by week. I used to be tired at just thinking about something brain intensive like programming, now I can manage it pretty well. My context switching ability (which allows for multi-tasking) was initially very slow but is now much better. My concious spelling (when you are thinking about spelling not just writing it without thinking) did not work at all but is now coming back.

I get tired easily, as with any illness your body needs to force you to rest more. Initially I went to bed early each night, now I don’t feel the need so much. Good manners take more energy too so I get grumpy and snappy after a day spent organising people or when I’ve been in the cold for too long.

The other part of my illness is a stretched muscle in my eye giving me double vision. This too has no miracle cures and just needs a long slow recovery. I have one lense of my glasses taped over which prevents double vision. But since I don’t use glasses much and they cause a bit of strain on my eyes when used with a computer I bought an eye patch. You can not buy decent eye patches in Europe as far as I can tell, only cheap ones which aren’t comfortable to wear for several months at a time. So I had to get one from an american medaeval recreation costume company.

The eye patch is the most obvious sign I have a (presumably temporary) disability. Most people have never come across such a medical issue before and so act in one of the following options: ignore it and forever wonder why I’m dressed like a pirate, ask politely why I’m dressed like a pirate, joke and go yarr. Even the neurology doctor I went to see had the “nice pirate costume” reaction. This is all fine and perfectly understandable. Only drunk people grate because they can not moderate their tone of voice to make it friendly enough. If you ever see a disabled person when drunk, just stay quiet.

The most curious reaction I’ve had was “I wouldn’t treat you like a disabled person.” What this means is “I wouldn’t treat you like a wheelchair user” and shows a lack of understanding of limited ability/disability which means so much more than wheelchair users. When you meet a disabled person do not modify your language or act self-conscious, just modify your actions as you work out their abilities. If in doubt ask politely.

Only being able to use one eye at a time means I have no depth perception. Out goes canoe polo games since I can’t catch or throw at all reliably. Also stairs feel very dangerous, especially those without handrails. Most stairs in the UK have handrails because of the great disability legislation we have here. In Belgium by contrast they do not and they consider it acceptable to close off disabled toilets with signs pointing at the less-accessible toilets.

Keeping up top psychosomatic health is important during a long recovery. This means the relationship between good body health and good mental health. My good friend Beth came up and helped me do a deep clean (“spring clean”) of the flat, good housing has a very strong relationship to good health. She also cooked lots of chilie bean mix and put it in lots of bags in the freezer, this is a nice easy way to get back into cooking (which I had to stop doing because of lack of energy), add a bag, add some carbohydrate and boil away. Lovely.

I’ve also been taking alexander lessons from my mum, this is nice and relaxing but also helps with long term posture which I find it hard to keep right when I’m low on energy. And Eddy the canoeist has been using me as a test run for his massage course which works out nicely. Psychosematic health is also helped by a placaebo which feels like real medicine as long as you choose to believe so I’ve been taking homeopathic pills.

Thanks to everyone who has been helping!

Vendor-neutral file attachment formats

Here’s another attempt at explaining a problem most people doesn’t realise and very few can be bothered with.

Until fairly recently there was no standard file formats for office
documents such as word processing, spreadsheets and presentations.
This ment every software package used their own file format. Having
no standard (in any industry) means one company will gain a monopoly
because there is no way to interchange and MS Office ended up on top.

There is now a standardised file format (OpenDocument) which is well
documented and has lots of programmes to read it. Alas few people
care (no reason they should, computers are tools and not everyone is a
geek) so Microsoft still have a near-monopoly.

OpenOffice etc can read MS formats but it takes up such a huge part of
our developer resources that it’s very much in Microsoft’s interests
to keep making them complex so we can’t compete with them by spending
time on useful features.

Governments should support standards to prevent monopolies and
discrimination and are often required to and so should quangos like
yourselves. The EU requires use of OpenDocument instead of MS Office
formats but often don’t follow their own guidelines.

OpenDocument (.odt, .ots etc) works great as is native with
LibreOffice, OpenOffice, Calligra, Google Docs and numberous other
programmes but alas MS only has a half hearted implementation for MS
Office so many people can’t use it without hassle. So the best way
currently to offer standards without causing people hassle is to use
long established file formats like HTML or PDF.