Avple

Avple.tv

    Asian porn sites and weird names have been such a thing that I have stopped being freaked out by it. But it does piss me off now and again. But then, life is too short to get angry over the fact that one duck-molesting idiot opted to give his porn site the kind of name that would make you wish you could bite on a grenade that has been dipped in peanut butter and jam sauce and so permanently remove your ability to think and reason! But given the direction the society has been heading recently, that could sure be a blessing!

    And talking of blessings, it’s time to trot out this Avple review I got stewing all week. Here’s my Avple.tv review and y’all should read it and weep like I am gonna take away all the tight teen, MILF and cougar cunts that y’all have been treating your snake friends to!

It’s An Apple and It Belongs Up Your Butt!

    Na, Avple.tv is not a Steve Jobs creation. That guy was never an ardent fucker anyway and probably wouldn’t know how to locate a woman’s pee-pee without consulting a map and compass on Safari!

    So, Avple looks standard. The background color is a deep gray and there’s no Light mode to pretty things up. A search bar sits pretty at the top right of the homepage and there’s a Porndude link at the left. Yeah, it’s the same site run by that fella who can’t leave the local goats alone. He’s been getting so much goat-flavored asshole love lately from his four-footed friends that I just know his little pecker is breeding an updated version of Ebola or something!

    Now, the main site features here rests in a barely visible trio of bars at the top left of the Avple page. You gotta squint hard to see this option and it’s a shitty decision to put it in a place where it does not readily stand out. Anyway, the options in this menu allow easy access to a variety of content. And worth noting is that this Chinese site has everything in Chinese and there’s no English language option for those who need stuff translated. Yeah, that sucks, but not enough to prod Biden into invading China!

An Apple A Day Keeps You Hungry All Day!

    Avple.tv has a content-crammed homepage by default and these seem to be mostly full-length stuff. But while there’s a lot of stuff on the homepage, it never seemed like there was too much of it, to the point where you would start getting the creepie-crawlies.

    Homepage content is not dumped into one unholy mess too and is sectioned. You can browse through the small selection of content relating to each particular section and tap the More button on the right to get all of each genre that’s available on this porn site. That’s as it should be, fellas.

    Now, there’s a lot of pro-level stuff here, but there’s also a lot of amateur stuff showing self-pleasing, and partner play. And for sure, there’s a shit-ton of everything and you could never accuse this Chinese XXX site of being so lacking in content that its owner needs to be tied to a stake and sodomized with a nicely cooked crab leg!

    Ready for some sample titles? Well, titles here are longer than the Golden Gate Bridge and that’s a right royal pain in the butting butt! Sao’s Mother Trained Her Son To Become A Sex Slave After Licking Her Beautiful Legs She Entered The Sao Hole And Couldn’t Help But Shoot Semen Around, His Sister-in-law Is Lonely, and Miserable Masturbation Is Difficult To Solve Libido and Incest With Four-Eyed Brother-in-law, The Silly and Cute Wife Was Forced By The Photographer To Take Cool Photos To Earn Living Expenses, and The Baby Face Hot Girl Stimulates Her Breasts Deep Throats and Then Fucks Her Breast Non-Stop are just the few amateur XXX titles I feel up to translating. Whew!

    One amateur video had a title that said Take A Shower With Dabo’s Girlfriend and Have A Shot First and had a runtime of 8 minutes. Shown was a thin bitch in what looked like a bathroom. She had small but nice tits and long nipples, and had more tats than my dick has been sucked this year! So, there’s an equally thin guy behind her and all he did throughout the video was pound her from the back. This bitch is a certified moaner too and I hope it was her asshole that her partner was sticking his horse dick in.

    Hero of the Green Plum Fucking Heroine of the Strange and Kinky Three Kingdoms, Virtual Lover, Gold-Worshippijg Daughter Seduces Step-father, Haitian Feast Cruise Party Fornication, and Arrogant Female DJ Live are a few of the sample titles in the professional category. As regards the latter, I was expecting to see a DJ being violently assaulted on stage. But what happened in this video was 19 minutes of a couple playing around on a bed and then engaging in a missionary fuck. The girl was extremely pretty and petite, but all the fond thoughts I was having about her came to naught once I realized that views of her genitalia were blurred. Fuck!

    Anyway, videos on this Chinese XXX site tend to be of high or very high quality and that includes the amateur ones too. Playback options are limited, but videos load and play flawlessly. There’s no direct download button to be seen, but I am sure the more technically inclined among you should have no problems downloading whatever stuff you crave.

    Content here cannot be rated though and that’s a bit of a missed opportunity. Another missed opportunity relates to the lack of dates and that makes it hard to know the content update pace.

What ThePornGuy Thinks of Avple

    Avple has a weird and less-than-memorable name, plus no English language support. But a site so filled with quality content of both the censored and uncensored variety should have many or all of its sins forgiven. So yeah, I am fully recommending Avple and it is worth sitting pretty in your bookmark list.