D17 254 THEOLOGICAL REFLECTION WORD COUNT: 2026 Essay Question: Reflect on what it might mean for you to see your study of theology as ‘faith seeking understanding’?  A careful study of theology has many merits. It increases our understanding of God, of our history, and of the place where we find ourselves spiritually. As part of a learning community, I have discovered that the students at St. Mellitus engage with the study of theology for a broad range of reasons. This reflection is a personal one, identifying the ways in which my own study of theology as ‘faith seeking understanding’ creates an opportunity to explore the foundations of my faith so that my personal affections may grow. I see this in three key areas: my faith seeks understanding in order to identify my place in the story of the church, my faith seeks understanding in ways that lay foundations for my calling, my faith seeks understanding to enable greater proclamation. Despite growing up in a home where Christ was loved and honored, a committed study of theology is new to me. I grew up deeply rooted in Scripture but less saturated with the church mothers and fathers and their creeds. In the words of Spurgeon, I was raised with a “sweet simplicity of faith” Charles Spurgeon, My Sermon-Notes Part IV (London: Alabaster, Passmore and Sons, 1898), 206.. One of the joys and challenges of committed study is the constant stretching of my mind and heart. Even the phrase “faith seeking understanding” requires context for the untrained mind. If faith is “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (ESV), as the writer of Hebrews tells us in chapter 11, then faith seeking understanding must include the assured, convicted expectation that our love and trust for God will only grow as we seek to understand more of His character, work, and words. Theologically speaking, our framework for knowing and understanding an eternal God should serve to deepen our faith. Along with Keller, I have found that “patient, inductive study of the biblical text changed my spiritual life.” Timothy Keller, Encounters with Jesus (London: Hodder & Stoughton, 2013), xi. Many of my peers have made the assumption that the study of theology is the simple study of the biblical text, and while our teachings throughout this past term have drawn heavily and richly from Scripture, the diversity of topics and approach are far different from a traditional Bible college. Our study of theology has included journeys through tradition, reason, experience, mission, church history, and much more, expanding the breadth of my faith in ever-widening perspectives. In light of these reflections, my faith seeks understanding first in order to see my place in the story of the church. As the Waldenses famously said to the Prince of Savoy in the 16th century, “Let your highness consider, that this religion in which we live is not merely our religion of the present day, or a religion discovered for the first time only a few years ago, as our enemies falsely pretend, but it is the religion of our fathers and of our grandfathers, yea of our forefathers and of our predecessors still more remote. It is the religion of the Saints and of the Martyrs, of the Confessors and of the Apostles.” E. H. Broadbent, The Pilgrim Church (Victoria: Dead Authors Society, 2017), 85. From my earliest years, the story of the church over the centuries and my place in it has deepened my faith. As a nine-year old, my first intelligent confession of faith occurred through an exploration of the history of the world religions, leading to a profound discovery of the beauty and authenticity of the Christian Gospel. As a mature woman, I find this same exploration continually striking. My own theology has been deeply shaped by a conservative, evangelical, non-denominational, American upbringing. Without abandoning my roots, my study of theology during the past few months has enabled me to recognise the significant weight of my personal background to my own understanding of faith. To give one practical example, the phrase ‘manifest destiny’ is new to me, but the implications of this phrase have been woven into my earliest understandings of life, faith, and the American dream. Ben Carson wrote these words celebrating Trump’s victory at last year’s presidential election: America has always been a beacon for individuals who wanted to make something great of their lives and fortunes; for those who had seemingly tried all things everywhere else but found new hope, new inspiration here on our shores…that sense of hope and pursuit of something more than oneself have never left. It is indelibly marked into the DNA of this nation. We may not remember and certainly don’t always feel it, but by the grace of God, it is passed from generation to generation. Historians labeled that zeal for American greatness as Manifest Destiny — an acknowledgment that, whether by Providence or something else — this nation was always on a path to write the course of history, and play such a critical role on the stage of mankind. Ben Carson, “New American Manifest Destiny”, International Journal Review, (November 2016), http://ijr.com/opinion/2016/11/261823-new-american-manifest-destiny. Aside from any political commentary, this recent, passionate invoking of the phrase ‘manifest destiny’ as an active celebration of faith and politics allowed me to engage in critical theological reflection surrounding the intertwining of my own faith and patriotism. I am deeply thankful that my understanding of faith is not shaped by American Christians alone, but by centuries of faithful, active followers of Christ who have explored the questions of faith in light of theology. Perhaps the single most significant reflection of my time thus far has been the opportunity to learn from theological voices I have not previously encountered – to explore the Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, and non-traditional thinkers who have shaped the collective Christian faith. These voices have encouraged me to understand my faith through new eyes, accepting and embracing the challenge of diverse perspectives. I am glad to walk in the footsteps of this international family. As Fiske writes, “To be grateful for a worthy ancestry is both reasonable and Christian.” Daniel Taggart Fiske, Faith Working by Love: As Exemplified in the Life of Fidelia Fiske (Delhi: Facsimile Publisher, 2017), 13. Second, my faith seeks understanding to lay a foundation for my calling. A builder must take care that their foundation is solid, a train conductor must have confidence that the railroad tracks are well-laid, a farmer must be sure that the seed has been scattered if the harvest is ever to be gathered. In preparation for this course, I was given a clear mental picture of railroad tracks, that the study of theology and my faith seeking a greater understanding would be clear preparation for the next chapter, carrying me to destinations of which I am still fully unaware. This picture speaks to me of the way “Christianity is a heritage and a vision for all of us.” Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza, Feminist Theology: A Reader (London: SPCK, 1990), 71. As I seek a greater understanding and vision of my calling, I am confident of this: my calling is above all to love . As I continue to explore the grace and kindness of God, my love for Him increases. An exploration of the Trinitarian God and the early doctrines of the creed and trinity within our courses have deepened my understanding of the joy and relationship found between God the Father, Son, and Spirit and given to us. In the words of Gregory of Nyssa, I discover that, as the light from the lamp is of the nature of that which sheds the brightness, and is united with it (for as soon as the lamp appears the light that comes from it shines out simultaneously), so in this place the Apostle would have us consider both that the Son is of the Father and that the Father is never without the Son, for it is impossible that glory should be without radiance, as it is impossible that the lamp should be without brightness. Gregory of Nyssa, Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, Second Series, Volume 5 (Peabody: Hendrickson Publishers, 1996), 338. These theological reflections and my ‘faith seeking understanding’ inform my own love for God and lay a foundation for me to receive and express love. Over the course of the past 8 weeks, I have experienced moments of deep joy, ranging from meeting my newborn niece for the first time to befriending fellow students at St. Mellitus. I have also experienced deep sorrow, losing several close friends to death and experiencing betrayal. My theological studies continually remind me of the character of God and his love for me, separate from the emotions of my daily circumstances. As Wendell Berry summarizes so well, “love is never abstract. It does not adhere to the universe or the planet or the nation or the institution or the profession, but to the singular sparrows of the street, the lilies of the field, the least of these my brethren.” Wendell Berry, What are People For? (Berkeley, CA: Counterpoint, 1990), 200. A deeper exploration and understanding of God’s love brings a more personal and at the same time, outward-facing love for others. Finally, my faith seeks understanding to enable greater proclamation. As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 4:13 in the English Standard Version, “Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, ‘I believed, and so I spoke,’ we also believe, and so we also speak.” I initially chose to attend theological college because it would provide a basis for the growth of my personal understanding which would enable greater communication and preaching. For thirty-four years, I have walked in faith with Christ. I have increasingly found over the past three years that I have been given many opportunities to speak publicly of faith. My faith is strong, but my desire is that my understanding would grow as well. My heart is fully persuaded of the beauty of salvation – for “Hast thou not heard Him, seen Him, known Him? Is not thine a captured heart?” Isobel Kuhn, By Searching (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 1959), 99. Of the faith, I am fully persuaded, but surely a greater understanding of faith leads to a greater and clearer proclamation of the same. I have witnessed many styles of preaching. I have seen the passionate, fiery, hell and brimstone preachers who speak with a fervour that radiates from their eyes and hands. I have watched the gentle, faithful leaders who weep when they speak of the living Word of God. I have heard quirky comedians, thoughtful academics, unedited testimonials, rhyming lyricists, formal priests, casual surfers, and energetic skaters. These many styles capture glimpses of the spirit of faith, an understanding that God’s Word compels us to believe, and so to speak. Over the course of these past weeks, I have been personally enriched and challenged by the styles of communication, methods of understanding, and richness of preparation I have seen reflected in our teachers and leaders. These practical examples have served to increase my appreciation and expression of the proclamation of God’s Word. In the past, my theological reflections in this area have explored the space for women to preach, the calling of an evangelist, and the challenge of preaching between two worlds. In order to create the space necessary for my studies, I have declined many of the invitations to travel and preach for the sake of both my sanity and my preparation. On reflection, this discipline has created a deeper understanding of preaching as a calling, rather than just for popularity. In the words of Morgan, “let every man or woman who is possessed by this joy and power for evangelism exercise their gifts constantly and restfully.” G. Campbell Morgan, The Ministry of the Word, (New York: Fleming H. Revell, 1919) 110. I am actively learning to exercise these gifts restfully, thoughtfully, and with the preparation that will enable greater proclamation. Our modern age holds many doubters, many seekers and many probing for a life of deep quality rather than superficiality. We who carry the Gospel hold the beautiful tension of proclaiming truth, faith, and hope to those who are still seeking their own understanding. Can faith exist without understanding? Perhaps, but this kind of faith would seem blind and feeble. Can understanding exist without faith? Perhaps, but this understanding of the Gospel would seem bland and sterile. As students of theology, we pursue a faith that seeks understanding. As we study God, we discover a deepening love for Him. My personal reflection as explored in this paper is that my own experience of my faith seeking understanding introduces a greater appreciation for my own place in church history, lays a stronger foundation for my personal calling and enabling a clearer proclamation of the only message that I believe carries true life and hope eternal. BIBLIOGRAPHY Berry, Wendell. What are People For?. Berkeley, CA: Counterpoint, 1990. Broadbent, E. H. The Pilgrim Church. Victoria: Dead Authors Society, 2017. Carson, Ben. “New American Manifest Destiny.” International Journal Review. (November 2016). http://ijr.com/opinion/2016/11/261823-new-american-manifest-destiny. Fiske, Daniel Taggart. Faith Faith Working by Love: As Exemplified in the Life of Fidelia Fiske. Delhi: Facsimile Publisher, 2017. Gregory of Nyssa. Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, Second Series, Volume 5. Peabody: Hendrickson Publishers, 1996. Keller, Timothy. Encounters with Jesus. London: Hodder and Stoughton, 2013. Kuhn, Isobel. By Searching. Chicago: Moody Publishers, 1959. Morgan, G. Campbell. The Ministry of the Word. New York: Fleming H. Revell, 1919. Schüssler Fiorenza, Elisabeth. Feminist Theology: A Reader. London: SPCK, 1990. Spurgeon, Charles. My Sermon-Notes Part IV. London: Alabaster, Passmore and Sons, 1898. The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Wheaton: Crossway Publishers, 2007. 4