Gifted adults

Schedule Free Consult Psychotherapy for gifted, professional & creative adults | SF Bay Area, CA, and Int'l.  (415) 688-4608 Bio What is giftedness?  Approach Expertise 3 FAQ Contact Gifted Adults The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Learn about the shadow side of giftedness – Dorothy Parker in this video of Dr. Beech presenting to colleagues at the Stanford Graduate Research shows that gifted individuals experience the world di erently from the norm. School of Business: They think more deeply about things, experience more intense emotions, and have heightened sensitivity to stimuli of all kinds. Their uncommon intellectual and creative capacities allow for outstanding contributions and accomplishments. However, this di erent I experience often leads the gifted person to feel out of step with the world, which may be exacerbated by a lack of understanding of their experience by others. Perhaps you already identify as gifted. You may have been tested as a child or have participated in special educational programs. The majority of gifted adults were not identi ed as such in childhood. Many gifted adults go through life feeling at odds with their environment without knowing why – socially ill at ease, feeling di erent from their peers, not understanding why others don’t see things as they do, or judged by others as being “too intense” or “too much.” This can lead to perpetual and corrosive feelings of self-doubt, confusion, frustration, disappointment, and existential depression, as well as more signi cant mental health challenges. I have spent more than 25 years in environments with gifted people, and have training in accompanying gifted individuals in psychotherapy. If you are gifted, I can help you develop insight about your experience, reach greater acceptance of yourself and the world around you, enhance your sense of purpose, and create more satisfying relationships. Am I gifted? A word about identifying as gifted… In our culture, some people view giftedness as a claim to elitism, which can make gifted individuals hesitant to acknowledge this aspect of themselves. Children in gifted programs at school may have been bullied or ostracized, causing them to try to hide their giftedness. It is important to remember that there is a di erence between better at and better than: being gifted does not make a person superior to others, but the fact that they are gifted should not be a source of shame or rejection. We all deserve to live the fullest lives to which we aspire. Whether or not you feel comfortable identifying yourself as gifted to others, your experience in the world as a person of uncommon intellectual and creative capacities is di erent from that of your nongifted peers. Accepting this about yourself and learning more about giftedness may lead to greater happiness and ful llment. As discussed in “What is giftedness?” above, IQ is one commonly used, though not uncontroversial, indicator of giftedness. You may already know your IQ score or have scored in the top few percentiles on achievement tests, such as the SAT, LSAT, MCAT, GRE etc. You may be aware of possessing uncommon gifts or talents in creativity, leadership, the arts, or athletics. You may also nd that some of these common characteristics of gifted people resonate for you: Insatiable curiosity and sophisticated thinking Urgent desire to know and understand Asks many questions Learns very quickly Loves puzzles, paradoxes, words Sees patterns and generalizes or abstracts easily Puts very complex ideas together faster than others Sees many sides to an issue Concentrates for long periods of time when fascinated by something Advanced vocabulary Excellent memory and retains huge amounts of information Greater insight and intuition Quick-witted and o beat sense of humor Idealism Deep concern with fairness and justice Highly values integrity and authenticity Perfectionistic Sets high standards for and can be very critical of self and others Heightened sensitivity To visual patterns, sounds, sensory experience ( uorescent light, smells, fabrics etc.) To beauty in nature or art, to horrifying world events, or moral wrongs More intense emotions Feels more deeply; higher highs, lower lows Empathy and sensitivity to others’ experience High energy, driven by internal creativity, passions, or goals Pursues many di erent interests or careers Playfulness Other Concepts in Giftedness Challenges of Giftedness Asynchronous development  Many believe that gifted children and adults have everything going for them, and don’t need any help or particular support to succeed in life. In fact, gifted children whose educational and emotional needs are not met growing up can become depressed and develop behavioral problems, with negative longterm Multipotentiality  consequences. Since the qualitatively di erent experience of giftedness is so little understood by others, gifted individuals are vulnerable to a number of problems: Isolation and loneliness, due to feeling di erent and not seen or understood by Positive disintegration  others. Low self-esteem. Persistent feelings of not tting in (and potentially having been bullied or ostracized when younger) can lead to poor self-image. Gifted Twice exceptionality  individuals report wondering what is wrong with them because they seem so at odds with those around them. They may also compare themselves to others, and their perfectionism and inner critic may lead them to beat themselves up as falling short or judge others harshly. Social awkwardness. Gifted individuals may nd others’ interests or conversation boring or super cial, or not understand why others don’t see the world as they do. They may nd it di cult to participate socially or make friends. Di culty with partnering. Finding potential mates who meet them on enough dimensions to provide for a satisfying relationship can be very challenging for gifted people. Highly gifted individuals tend to be more androgynous, which can challenge social gender role norms. Existential depression. Gifted adults’ idealism, expansive awareness, and intellectual capacity to consider the world’s most signi cant problems, and questions of death, freedom, and the ultimate aloneness of the human condition, can lead to feelings of hopelessness and meaninglessness. These can be persistent and recurrent through the lifespan. Disappointment and frustration, with others’ inability to keep up with them, apparent lack of caring about what gifted individuals see as moral imperatives, or with the world not making sense. Substance use or addictive behaviors. Attempting to manage the intensity of their emotions and heightened sensitivity or to deal with painful feelings of loneliness or depression, gifted people may nd ways to “numb out.” Di culty prioritizing paths. Gifted adults’ multipotentiality means that there is a constant sense of urgency about wanting to pursue many interests at once, and it can be di cult to foreclose options or commit. Di culty tolerating periods of lack of direction or boredom. Once a domain or avenue of personal growth has been explored to a certain level of mastery, gifted adults may feel bored and ready for the next challenge. It may take some time before a new focus emerges. Boredom may lead to underachievement. Lack of ful llment. Many gifted adults have an impressive list of accomplishments and talents, yet may still feel unful lled. Sometimes, nding meaning is di cult when the gifted person can see so many problems around them, see how they could be addressed, and feels unable to make an impact. Misdiagnosis. Since many psychologists and educators are not aware of the di erent experience of gifted individuals, they may misinterpret and pathologize thoughts, feelings, and behaviors typical of the gifted. In some cases, this leads to inappropriate diagnosis of mental health disorders. Unmet needs as twice exceptional individual. Gifted individuals who also have a learning disorder or other psychiatric diagnosis have additional challenges in being understood and supported in their development as kids, which may set them up for further challenges in adulthood. How I help Before becoming a psychologist, I spent more than 25 years in environments with gifted individuals in business, economic policy, and academics. My personal experience, combined with special training from the organization Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted, allows me to directly appreciate the challenges of my gifted clients and provide a safe, nonjudgmental, compassionate, and collaborative setting for therapy. I understand the vulnerability that gifted individuals may feel in sharing what’s not working in their lives when their external accomplishments may be so visible. Or painful feelings at not having actualized their potential to their satisfaction. It can be quite a relief to talk unreservedly about the experience of giftedness with someone who understands. If you have tried therapy in the past with a clinician who did not specialize in working with gifted clients and found it disappointing, I hope you will give yourself the gift of trying again with someone who will “get” you and meet you where you need to be met to make progress on your goals. If you have never identi ed as gifted but nd what you have read here resonates deeply for you, I encourage you to come in and see whether learning more about yourself may relieve su ering or o er insight to open new options for feeling more comfortable with yourself and relating to others. I would like to help you fully embrace and appreciate your giftedness, develop more resiliency in dealing with the challenges of being gifted in a world that frequently misunderstands you, and attain professional and personal ful llment. If you are ready to take the next step, I invite you to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to discuss how we might work together. Schedule Free Consultation Bio Approach Expertise FAQ Contact © Hilary Beech, PhD MBA. 2021. All rights reserved.