THE JOY OF QUITTING

I LOVE TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH. And I love approval. So to get the approval of being selected as an official laugh-maker by a magazine that presides over grocery store checkout lanes and pedicure chairs across the country felt like a big deal. A funny writer friend of mine brought me on board at the weekly and explained how it works: The editors send us — the writers — a file of celebrity photos every Tuesday. On Wednesday, we each email back a list of jokes to go with each photo. The next week, a few captions for each image are chosen to run in the magazine’s Fashion Police spread.

Analysing fashion is great fun. Take gladiator sandals, for instance. They make your calves looked like pork tenderloin trussed with twine, so how did they get to be so popular? What message is a woman conveying when she wears them? “I love the feel of air on my toes and also want people to know I’m tough enough to stab a lion or errant Roman with a sword in front of a roaring crowd?” I guess.

I figured the job would be right up my alley. I  didn’t exactly knock it out of the park at the start.