BARRA, BEASTS & BEERS.

The brief was short and simple enough. Fly to the Northern Territory, check out Australia’s richest fishing competition — the Million Dollar Fish, enjoy a few too many beers, take a heli pub crawl and try to make a few friends along the way. Fishing, drinking and making a million bucks eh? They had me at fishing.

DAY ONE: BARRAMUNDI, DADDY DINGO AND THE CAGE OF DEATH

When you land in Darwin you find a frontier town that’s been bashed by bombs, cyclones and racism over the years, but you can’t help but feel welcome here. You are in quintessential Australia — the red dirt, the glistening sun, the characters who line the streets and bars… it’s like a scene from an outback Aussie movie could unfold at any second.

Our first port of call is a place called Crocosaurus Cove. Albeit a tourist attraction, this place houses the Cage of Death (which sees you lowered into a tank of water and up-close and personal with a giant croc) and has less cheese and far more balls than any theme park I’ve ever stepped into. Set in downtown Darwin, Crocosaurus Cove is the best way to get a very crude understanding of how solid and strong these prehistoric beasts truly are. With heads uglier than a post-election Clive Palmer and a bite that makes Connor McGregor look weak, you literally come face-to-face with these monsters but also all your fears in this cage dive. It’s like eye contact with your first girlfriend’s Dad as you pick her up and take her away — harm could be inflicted at any second.

One of the handlers at