CRUSADER KINKS

Awise man once said “Make love, not war”. That man would probably have died in a week in Crusader Kings III’s world, but that is not to say he didn’t have a point. All this scheming, fighting, and murder… where is the compassion for one’s fellow man?

I want to spread some love through the world of Crusader Kings, and I’m going to do it by creating the horniest dynasty in all of Christendom. I plan to take the game’s reputation as a dynamic bastard simulator literally, and attempt to conquer the world with the fruit of my loins, pushing the game’s relationship systems to their limits.

Before I start, first I need a ruler and a place for them to rule. I set the game to begin in the fateful year 1066, opting to play as the King of Scotland. This gives me a prestigious enough position so there’s plenty to do, but I’m still small fry compared to states like Byzantium or the Holy Roman Empire.

Rather than use the default ruler for that period in Scotland’s history, I instead create my own, specifically a strapping 27 year old with a beard you could