Roger’s PROFANISAURUS
aroma diffuser 1. n. A scientific device that breaks “essential oils” down into smaller molecules, dispersing them into the air for a pleasant or calming effect on the gullible. 2. n. The arsehole.
Barbie’s minge sim. Something with a particularly difficult or troublesome mode of entry. ‘Gentlemen, make no mistake. The castle will be heavily guarded. I warn you now, it’wil be like getting into Barbie’s minge.’
BHM 1. abbrev. IATA code for Birmingham Intern ational Air port. 2. abbrev. The ne plus ultra of ladies who prefer it au naturelle; Big HairyMinge. Also biffer, Davy Crockett hat, Terry Waite’s allotment.
blank canvas n. A lovely, freshly cleaned toilet.
break the ministerial code 1. v. To infringe parliamentary rules and standards; a breach of trust which would get the rest of us sacked and possibly imprisoned, but for government ministers typically leads lead to promotion and a peerage. 2. v. To break wind loudly. ‘Was that you, Phil?’ ‘Yes, Holly. I was trying to sneak one out quietly while Gino was doing his rocket pesto with spelt spaghettini, but I’m afraid I just broke the ministerial code.’
brown chicks have fledged, the phr. Confirmation that one’s mocking birds have left the nest. ‘Well, Chris, I’m happy to report that the brown chicks have fledged and gone to the beach.’
The diverse melodic sounds: grunts, groans, squeaks, and sighs. Similar to - but not to be confused with (and, indeed, arguably more tuneful than) - any British entry to the Eurovision Song Contest.
