Your Correspondence to VIZ Editor
☐BEES POLLINATE all the trees and flowers and make honey for us, and they get it all done during the hours of daylight. Butterflies, on the other hand, do nothing all day, and they even have moths to cover the night shift. It’s easy to see who’s taking the piss in this set-up.
Max Perlingo, Sphere
☐I RECENTLY read a story in the Daily Mail which suggested that the technology may soon exist to condemn prisoners to sentences of thousands of years or more, using drugs to slow their perception of time, or by transferring their consciousness to a virtual reality prison. Well, if you ask me, uploading their mind to a digital realm is too good for them.
Ade Bamforth, email
☐I DON’T know why on earth the manager of the French team at the women’s Euros was covering her mouth when speaking to her sub before putting her on. She would doubtless be speaking foreign so nobody could understand her anyway.
N Farage, WCO Dover
☐IN SPAIN, ‘gato’ is a cat, but in France it’s a cake. You couldn’t make it up. Thank God we voted for Brexit.
Hadrian Wall, email
☐GHOSTS are effectively weightless and not subject to gravity, so they shouldn’t need shoes or indeed bras. Has anyone seen a ghost with shoes or a bra? Because I most certainly haven’t.
Whitworth Spanners, Orkney
☐IT JUST occurred to me that not only was Louis Armstrong’s lyric “We have all the time in the world” a touch presumptuous, it was also manifestly wrong, as he discovered in 1971.
Tempus Fugit, email
☐THE MEDIA takes things far too seriously these days, particularly with all the cataclysmic doom and gloom about the weather. If this were the 1980s, The Sun would have a photo of Samantha Fox or Linda Lusardi topless, sticking velcro sun cut-outs on to a weather map with a pun about the “Phwoarrr!-cast”. I know the planet is burning to a crisp, but let’s lighten up a bit.
Paul Egan, Roscommon
☐FED UP of crows shitting on my car, I remembered the advert that claimed Kia Ora was “too orangey for crows.” But when I covered my car in Kia Ora, they still shat on it, plus it attracted swarms of wasps to boot. Fucking advertisers’ bullshit again. Although to be fair, it might have been pigeons shitting on my car, not crows.
Michael Marks, Leeds
☐ I met four middle-aged Swedish punks. Can any
