Heart Berries: A Memoir
Written by Terese Marie Mailhot, Sherman Alexie and Joan Naviyuk Kane
Narrated by Rainy Fields
4/5
()
About this audiobook
Mailhot trusts us to understand that memory isn't exact, but melded to imagination, pain, and what we can bring ourselves to accept. Her unique and at times unsettling voice graphically illustrates her mental state. As she writes, she discovers her own true voice, seizes control of her story, and, in so doing, reestablishes her connection to her family, to her people, and to her place in the world.
Editor's Note
Poetic beauty…
A rare debut that will take your breath away with its poetic beauty. This memoir from Terese Marie Mailhot chronicles her time growing up on a Canadian First Nations reservation with a love of memory and language and an acute knowledge of their limitations.
Terese Marie Mailhot
Terese Marie Mailhot graduated from the Institute of American Indian Arts with an MFA in fiction. Heart Berries, her first book, was shortlisted for the 2018 Governor General's Literary Award for Nonfiction. She teaches creative writing at Purdue University and resides in West Lafayette, Indiana.
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Reviews for Heart Berries
387 ratings36 reviews
What our readers think
Readers find this title to be a raw and beautiful window into a native women's life. The memoir-essays are thought-provoking, gentle, and brutal. The author's style is strong and vulnerable, drawing readers in quickly. Many recommend this book and feel grateful for the opportunity to read it.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I can't, write words after reading her words.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This book drew me in quick. I honestly want more. Definitely recommend.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The is such a raw real window into a native women's life, I feel greatful for the opportunity....
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Her style is raw and beautiful. Strong and so vulnerable.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5These thought-provoking memoir-essays are raw, beautiful, ugly, gentle and brutal.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This is not ordinarily the sort of book I pick up, but I found it powerful and disturbing and heart wrenching to read. Mailhot writes her madness in an extraordinarily compelling way, one that viscerally portrays the abuse and trauma at the heart of her story. Every time I went to put it down, I found myself compelled to pick it up again.
Advanced Reader's Copy provided by Edelweiss. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5if read in a different mood might have liked it better - admire the writer enormously
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5"Nothing is too ugly for this world, I think. It's just that people pretend not to see."QOTD: What memoirs did you read this year that you loved?Heart Berries by Terese Mailhot is one of my favorite memoirs I read this year. I read this one back in July and it is only now that I can fully process some of my thoughts and feelings. Mailhot's writing is honest and raw and she holds nothing back. She bares all the ugliness on the pages but still leaves you with a semblance of hope. You're left contemplating about the complexities of the human condition and what it means to love so much that it hurts. You're also left wondering if it is possible to love someone fully when there is so much pain and trauma embedded in their loins. Mailhot takes you through her battles with mental illness, the history and trauma of Indigenous people, motherhood and longing to be loved. The book reads like an open wound as she picks away at the scabs and scars that are left behind from her trauma. You especially see this in the ways that she speaks directly to the pain she feels of not being seen and loved by her children's father and how that pain almost mirrors "madness".The writing is absolutely exquisite. I highlighted so many passages that need further introspection. I will definitely reread this one because I feel like it will hit differently every time. What stays with me the most is how she writes about Indigenous women's pain and explains how humanity was born from pain. It is felt on every page. The quote I still think about is: "My people cultivated pain. In the way that god cultivated his garden, with the foresight that he could not contain or protect the life within it. Humanity was born out of pain." She's not afraid to speak about it and boldly calls it out. This book is one that haunts me because of it's unflinching manner and the way it bravely speaks truth to power.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5adult nonfiction/memoir (woman of Native American heritage dealing with PTSD, bipolar II disorder, eating disorders, a difficult break up, and other challenges).
poetic and raw, loaded with emotion and meaning (though often I am not sure what exactly the meaning is)--an extremely talented writer with a unique voice. Not what I was expecting but a pleasant surprise.
old lady reader warnings: contains numerous f-bombs and explicit situations. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/53 stars for now, though I plan to reread at some point.Heart Berries is Terese Marie Mailhot's memoir about life and coming-of-age as a First Nations woman in the Pacific Northwest. The book jumps around in time, with particular emphasis on various facets of Mailhot's experience of parenthood, both tracing her history with her own parents as well as her own experience of motherhood. Throughout, there are strong themes of abuse, addiction, and trauma. I listened to this as an audiobook, and I'm not sure that I'd recommend it in that format. The audio itself is totally fine, bu the poetic and extremely nonlinear nature of the writing would, I think, be better suited to a physical page, so that you can reread and go back as necessary--I found that I got lost/confused a lot. The emotions in this book are really raw and powerful, however. I do hope to reread this sometime in physical format, and I suspect that my rating will go up at that point.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Hmmm. Sometimes there's a book that gets praised to the sky and back, one that wins awards and accolades in all corners of the literary world, one that I can't wait to get my hands on, but that I just can't connect with, can't even begin to glimpse why all the acclaim and glory have been piled on it and unfortunately Terese Marie Mailhot's Heart Berries is one of those books.This short, honest memoir in essays from Mailhot, a Canadian Indigenous woman, feels more like prose poetry than a cohesive nonfiction narrative. It is an on the page grappling with her abusive childhood, the loss of custody of her first child, her own mental illnesses, her destructive tendencies, her complicated and damaging relationships, motherhood, the creative drive, her identity as an indigenous woman and her dysfunctional, trauma-filled life. She is introspective and raw in her writing; it is heavy and deeply personal. But the narrative is choppy and fragmented making it a struggle to want to follow her in her jumbled stream of consciousness. Mailhot jumps forward and backward in time, leaving the reader completely untethered in her story. This makes for a slow and deliberate reading experience but this same slowness highlights the oftentimes meaningless and pretentious writing masquerading as deep and lyrical. "Every door is the same when I kneel in a corner--with a hand over my mouth." (p. 14) But there's also the occasional powerful truth woven in as well. Most of Mailhot's essays are addressed to a boyfriend, opening herself to him, explaining her past and her present, but Mailhot also addresses her mother in the final piece of the memoir, remembering, confronting, lamenting. The unconventional structure of the book allows for a disjointed and incomplete telling, brushing past some of the defining moments of her life so far without elaborating and stripping the emotional content back to bare bone. I felt nothing by the end except profound relief that I was finished with the book. Many others have claimed this as a magnificent and important work, so perhaps don't necessarily take my word for it.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I listened to this on Hoopla, and have to say I did not much enjoy the narrator. Her voice sounded way too young (like 16-20 to me), and I found her enunciation too deliberate. It was almost hard to listen to--I would not have lasted through a longer book. So my experience of this book may be swayed by this poor listening experience. So much of audiobooks is about the narrator.This book is a memoir, of Mailhot's experience an an indigenous Canadian with childhood abuse, mental illness, hospitalization, motherhood, her relationship with a white man, and the experience of being accepted to and studying at the Institute for American Indian Arts in New Mexico. The last section of this book was a Q&A, and since I was listening I was a little confused. But I wish that section had been first, as for me, it filled in so much about her life. (Was she severely mentally ill or suffering from PTSD from the abuse she suffered during childhood? Did her time in New Mexico bring her closer to her own culture, her own art, and did the experience of meeting other indigenous people from around North America help in her own healing?)
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I had a hard time with this book. The content did not bother me, though it was a rough read (trigger warnings for abuse of all varieties). I also appreciated a book that explored the hardships and stigma of being an Indian woman and having mental health problems. I think that Mailhot's word choices were often beautiful, but the writing often felt disjointed to me. Perhaps she wanted to convey how she felt from day to day in this way, but she seemed to skip from one harrowing story to another almost randomly. It made this very short book feel long, but not in a good way.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This was a very intense and honest portrayal of grief, loss, and mental illness.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This is a beautiful and powerful memoir in essays. So much of it is heart wrenching, and yet it exudes the authors strength and perseverance.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A coming of age memoir of an indigenous woman in British Columbia.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I’ve never read a memoir like this. The author grew up in an abusive and dysfunctional family on a Native American reservation. The story may be short, but don’t count on finishing it quickly. There’s lots to think about and reread. The essays can be disturbing but bring insight into how women are treated and how they can work to heal themselves.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Rating: 6* of fiveShattering. Beautiful. Agonizing. Necessary.I will never, ever read this book again. I'm glad I borrowed it from the library so it will not be in my home. This isn't a story I want to have exerting its metaphysical gravity on me while I'm sleeping.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A memoir of moving through madness and it's roots by a Native American woman. Not at all an easy read, and possibly containing some triggers, certainly I had to keep my own emotional history from raveling my attention from each sentence as it sliced into me during the first two sections. Then I had to wonder what sort of man left messages on his computer and phone to be found by the lover (he implied) he wanted to keep. Perhaps I was distracting myself from the real pain on the page. Not a feel good life with those close to nature yarn.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This is a very difficult book to read and even more difficult to critique. Terese explains that she was a young girl growing up in a severely dysfunctional family. Her home was located on the Seabird Island Indian Reservation in the Pacific Northwest. Her childhood experiences caused her profound pain, and she found herself as a young woman in a mental institution with bipolar disease and PTSD. Her quest to find herself leads her on a panful journey of remembrance. /She has now found herself a place in the world as a mother, wife, educator and author. The language in the book is absolutely beautiful, and even with the dreadful subject matter, quite poetic. But I found that there was a lot of jumping around in time, so I found it difficult to get to the heart of the matter. The book probably realistically portrays her bumpy ride as she tries to deal with all of her issues, and that maya explain the dichotomy, but it was still difficult for me to follow the timeline. It is very difficult to read about Terese's struggles to find herself and finally come to a place where she can acknowledge and accept all the horrors of her life, and then build from there to finally discover the real Terese buried under all the memories.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5"Memoir, for me, functions as something vulnerable in a sea of posturing." (from the Afterword)Finding one's truth and taking ownership and authorship of one's story are life-changing! In recent memory I cannot think of a book, fiction or non-fiction, which illustrates this power as deeply or as profoundly as Mailhot's memoir. She bravely reveals her journey in all its horror and beauty. I've said it many times, but I have great respect for women who have the guts to open themselves up so fully to a public that has not exactly proven warm and receptive."As an Indian woman, I resist the urge to bleed out on a page, to impart the story of my drunken father. It was dangerous to be alone with him, as it was dangerous to forgive, as it was dangerous to say he was a monster. If he were a monster, that would make me part monster, part Indian. It is my politic to write the humanity in my characters, and subvert the stereotypes. Isn't that my duty as an Indian writer? But what part of him was subversion?"The language she uses is... I cannot find the perfect word at the moment."I know the limit of what I can contain in each day. Each child, woman, and man should know a limit of containment. Nobody should be asked to hold more."An essential read for Indigenous women, yet I would recommend this to everyone, especially those with trauma in their past -- or those who aren't the picture of pristine mental health. Not that a white woman could ever walk in the same shoes as an Indigenous woman, but because there are parallels between the experiences in coming of age, mental illness, broken hearts, deep-rooted parental scars, and what it takes to begin healing.5 stars(I love that her author photograph was credited to her son, Isaiah.)"Love is tactile learning, always, first and foremost.""I don't feel liberated from the governing presence of tragedy. The way in which people frame our work, and the way our work exists, or is canonized--we are not liberated from injustice; we're anchored to it. It feels inescapable and part of the zeitgeist of Indian in the twenty-first century, or every century since they came, which doesn't limit me, or us, but limits the way we are seen and spoken about. It's unfortunate, and real to me." (from the Afterword)
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Heart wrenching. I listened to the book and was drawn into the author's lyrical storytelling as well as story. As I heard more of her story I was sometimes lost in her remembrances versus timeline of events. She plugged at my heart, but I found that the connection of her circumstances and her past more difficult to follow through the end.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I like how the author puts words together. It's very poetic at times. Unfortunately, I'm not a big fan of poetry as it tends to be vague and obtuse, much like this memoir. I'm detail oriented and found myself frustrated by all the unanswered questions I have.
Also, the author goes on and on about her heartbreak and bad relationships to such a degree that at a certain point in the book it just started to feel to me like nonstop whining. By the time she was ready to share about other aspects of her life, I was already detaching from the work.
In the end, I still find value in reading about a perspective so different from my own and admire Mailhot's abilities as a wordsmith - Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5A therapeutic memoir by a Pacific Northwest Native. She writes of her dysfunctional upbringing and her suicidal thoughts. I did not appreciate the book as I was unable to relate to her heritage or her mental illness.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I heard buzz about this memoir for weeks before it was actually published, and I'm glad to say that it definitely lived up to the hype! Such a powerful and unflinching memoir from a great new voice in Native American literature.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book cracked me open - it's such a bravely, beautifully, precisely written story of working through trauma and being a child and a mother and Native woman.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The emotionally charged memoir of a young Native American woman growing up on a dysfunctional family and later with abusive relationships with men (one that she just can;t seem to get over). This book is very well written and she doesn't rail against the abusive people in her life. Through it all a couple of mentors help her overcome these traumas leading ultimately her back to her Native American heritage and a Doctoral Fellowship in creative writing at Purdue University. This book will pull on your heart without being sappy or maudlin. Short book with a whole lot of meaning.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This was one of the most brutal, heartfelt, unabashed, memoirs I've ever read. Mailhot rips out her heart for the reader to see and holds nothing back. From her insecurities about being a mother to abuse she had buried as a child to her unwise relationships to growing up native; she bares her entire soul. She manages to convey these truths about her life in the most succinct, powerful way. Not one word is wasted in this memoir. While listening to this I was struck by the beauty of her prose.“I think self-esteem is a white invention to further separate one person from another. It asks people to assess their values and implies people have worth. It seems like identity capitalism.” “I felt breathless, like every question was a step up a stairway.” I listened to this short memoir, but now I want to read it; I want my eyes to eat up her words. Her prose is transcendent. Mailhot, hasn't exactly had the easiest of lives, but she is able to convey the beauty in her struggles and challenges. What a writer. I cannot wait to read more from her. I am ready for the Indigenous Renaissance.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5It’s hard to put into words how wonderful and tragic this book is. I enjoyed the story telling then pausing to feel the pain of the story.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5“It’s an Indian condition to be proud of survival but reluctant to call it resilience. Resilience seems ascribed to a human conditioning in white people.”Terese Marie Mailhot’s Heart Berries was small, but it packed an emotional punch. In her memoir, Mailhot doesn’t hold anything back as she presents her life about everything from her dysfunctional upbringing to her stay in a mental hospital, from the birth of her son to her relationship with his father, from the pain of her present and how memory is affected by the past.Heart Berries was told in a fragmented, stream-of-conscious style series of essays. I did have a little trouble getting into the writing style, but once I fell into a rhythm, it was easier to follow Mailhot’s voice and thoughts.Mailhot is an interesting woman who has been through so much. This is one memoir that I can see myself reading again and again – and getting something new out of it each time.Thank you to LibraryThing and Tantor Audio for a copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review!