Hope's Daughter

Ptolemy

Prologue

HISS…

The viewing screen flickered to life, changing from charcoal black to a snowstorm haze of grey and white. For the moment there was nothing but the tinny electronic fizz of the speakers and random dots of static waving zigzag lines across the display.

Are you ready? My voice was a whisper – the words spoken beneath my breath – even though there was no reason to whisper anymore. We were alone.

My companion nodded in confirmation but did not speak. The youthful features of his face were unnaturally hard: his mouth fixed into a straight line and his eyes were ringed with shadows from nights without sleep. He looked, perhaps, all the more alert for those things.

There was something else in his expression, he was trying to hide it but I knew him well now and I saw it easily. The muscles in his jaw beneath his smooth skin moved involuntarily, clenching his teeth together. It was a basic human reaction and revealed his current anxiety. But I also knew that with him all fear was tinged with determination. He was strong: a fighter, a thinker. He was a survivor.

I gazed steadily at his dark eyes. Survive. If there’s one thing the human race knows how to do it’s survive, I mused. Perhaps after everything we’d been through I was a survivor too now. But we were heading into darkness and what awaited us there – whether we would survive that – was completely unknown.

I realised that the unfamiliar should not bother me. After all, everything I thought I had known to be true in my old life had been lies…knowledge was not what it appeared to be. We’d been taught about the world beyond our own confined existence, but why should my understanding of what waited out here be anything other than more of their lies?

That was why we needed this recording. It was a precaution, in case our biological – human survivor – instincts failed us when we reached our final destination. It would ensure that our story was not lost, even if we were.

Inhaling deeply through my mouth I tried to clear my head of the thoughts – fears – that had been plaguing me for days now. The re-circulated air in the pod was chilled to the optimum temperature for comfort, but it was not comforting. Beneath the cool oxygen molecules that entered my body was a faint, stale taste of air that had been expelled from lungs and re-used again and again and again. The knowledge that it was part of an engineered process rather than a natural one tainted it even more.

Deliberating a while longer, I took another deep breath – in and out – I didn’t know where to begin. What do you say when someone makes you question your whole life? What do you do when the world that you were sure of and everything you thought to be true has gone? All I had left was the one who brought the questions in the first place.

I didn’t really have an answer to my queries – any of them – or not one that was clear anyway. All I knew was that pain and suffering were inherent to the knowledge we had gained. But it was better to be free in the unknown than enslaved in the familiar and false…I think.

There was a whisper of shuffling feet as my fellow traveller shifted position in the shadows – obviously uncomfortable – he was waiting for me. It was time. I nodded to let him know that I was ready. He pointed a small controller towards the tiny camera attached to the viewing screen and pressed a button. The static from the screen cleared immediately, displaying instead the mirror image of the girl sat on the opposite side of the lens. Me.

My green eyes fixed on the lens: I saw red tingeing the edges of each eye from too many tears and not enough sleep. The equal measure of fear and determination in my face made me look wild. I inhaled another deep breath of sour air and opened my mouth. "As I sit here, it strikes me that our participation in recent events is the outcome of pure chance. It could have been anyone; it just so happened to be us.

There was always the possibility of someone, somewhere falling into the roles that we have taken: an accidental observation, unanswerable questions and then coming from those the need to protect the most important thing you have in life. I glanced briefly at my friend beyond the camera as I paused to take a breath.

"In all honesty I’m surprised that they did not see that we would be inevitable. There are flaws to the system. More recently I have wondered – since we became aware of what was happening – whether there is the chance that there will be others like us in the future? I hope so, because that would make me more optimistic for those we have left behind…but a part of me fears that our footsteps will be erased now to prevent anyone following in them."

Am I rambling? I wondered vaguely as I spoke. Then answered my own silent question. Yes, I think I am.

Sorry, I shrugged apologetically at the camera, seeing my actions mirrored in reverse in the viewing screen. "I know I’m rambling – I get a bit lost in my own thoughts. Everything I just said sounds rather cryptic, doesn’t it?

A nod from the shadows agreed with me.

It’s probably best that I start from the beginning and then you’ll understand how we got here.

Pausing once more to clear my mind, I cast my thoughts back to the person I had been a few short weeks ago. She was a different me, living in a different world. I began again.

I thought the Space Station Hope to be the most uneventful place in the world, I allowed myself a rueful smile as I spoke the words. "Oh yes, the world…let’s start there shall we?"

Chapter 1 – History Lessons

Many historians pinpoint the start of the rapid decline of human civilisation on Earth to the year 2045. What is significant about this date and the subsequent events of the period; particularly the environmental and geopolitical impact of these events upon the human race?

I stared at the viewing screen, where the final question of my last examination glowed white against the dark blue background. I felt like I was in limbo: not quite the hell you feel at the start of the examination period, where the hours of testing on every subject you’ve ever studied stretches before you like a punishing road that you will be forced to travel along as time presses you on through the inevitable. But it was also not the exam-free paradise that beckons to you from two hours into the future.

Four hours of literature and two hours of sociology questions the day before had left my mind a muddled swamp of information. I knew that the answer to this final question was buried deep beneath the stagnant surface of my memory I just had to find it.

Removing the automatic discourse headset I had worn to answer the previous questions I placed it back into its holder. My head was aching. Again. It had been doing this a lot recently and I rubbed my forehead gently in a vain attempt to reduce the pressure headache throbbing in my temples. Massaging with one hand I reached out towards the screen and held my finger over the button for manual input, which flashed red and became live.

I closed my eyes to think. I needed to put my thoughts into order to answer this final question and recently I found the headset distracting when organising any kind of complex ideas. In fact, it had become irritating answering most questions: when I was aligning my thoughts to command the headset to write I would find my mind wandering through several similar answers, some of which did not even feel familiar to me.

Perhaps there was something off with my headset? I wondered. Because what was more frustrating – and odd – was when answers popped in to my head that were not my own, some of which I knew to be wrong. If it didn’t sound silly I would have said it was as though someone else was answering inside my brain. And they weren’t always so smart!

Anyway, aside from my recent issues with the headset, there was something therapeutic about reverting to the more old fashioned manual input system with its keyboard. When I typed it was as though my thoughts were flowing from my mind in a conversation with my fingers, instead of the monologue feeling the auto discourse system created. It even gave me an extra few seconds to question what I was writing and be sure that I was happy with the answer before committing to it.

At this stage in the examination cycle I didn’t mind spending the extra thirty minutes in the answering chamber that you got for using the manual system. Although as I glanced around the neighbouring pods it looked like I was the only one who felt this way. My fellow students – all nine of them in my school year, five boys and four girls – were sat before their own screens with headsets activated, answering questions. Their illuminated faces were fixed on the monitors in concentration. All except one.

Occupying one of the desks at the back of the room was Balik and he wasn’t watching his screen, he was watching me. He immediately turned his gaze towards his screen when I caught him staring and didn’t look up again; instead he pulled a keyboard towards him and began typing.

That was odd, I puzzled as I turned back to my own monitor a few seconds later. Balik was normally the super studious, always-had-an-answer type of person – not someone I would expect to see daydreaming in the middle of an exam.

Balik’s parents were a doctor and an astro-engineer just like mine, but we never really had much to do with each other, even though there were only ten students in our year at school. He always seemed nice, just a bit quiet…and perhaps a bit serious too?

Life on Space Station Hope always tended towards the more serious side in the first place. As descendants of the last surviving members of the human race to escape the Earth it was bound to happen. So, for my sanity, I gravitated towards people at the more light-hearted end of the spectrum, not ones who appeared so serious and comfortable with themselves that they were virtually their parents already.

Come on, I prompted myself, making a concerted effort to pull my mind back to the question in front of me. That’s enough time wasting: stop gazing around the exam suite and get on with it. I gave in willingly to the firm voice of my studious side and after a few more minutes collecting my thoughts, pulled the small keyboard across the desk and began.

At first my writing was clunky: stopping and starting as I struggled to make the sentences work. But soon the words began to flow: slipping from my mind, down my arms and out through my fingers and I lost myself in the rhythm of my typing.

In July 2045 the Arctic experienced its first ice-free summer due to climate change, which many contemporary theorists view as being the starting point to a chain-reaction of global events, which collectively led to the destruction of humankind on Earth in the late twenty-first century.

Prior to this date, although some small concessions had been made to tackling the global threat of climate change, there had not been a consolidated and viable plan devised for nations to subscribe to. Instead huge amounts of research resources were under the control of private companies or billionaire individuals, who were able to direct funding into areas of personal interest or financial gain, which further jeopardised the ability of the world to undertake an appropriate response to environmental issues. It was this lack of co-ordination of resources and research, rather than the inability of mankind to achieve technological advances, that ultimately destroyed the global population. 

In 2010 break-through research by biologists and futurists determined that senescence (the ageing of an organism) could be combated by reducing wear and tear on cells in the human body. Research was carried out predominantly in the developed nations, where the affluent and aging populations provided the greatest demand and resources for such investigations. Developments in cell technology provided treatments, which enabled older generations to improve cell repair to a similar level they had when young, and all but eradicated age-related diseases such as cancers. (Cancers would occur when ageing faulty cells gathered to form tumours rather than self-destructing as they did in younger people).

Those born in developed countries during this period of relative societal harmony and scientific progress had the opportunity of greater longevity via technologies such as genome sequencing to identify their medical future and gene therapy for eliminating any genetic diseases at birth. There was speculation that continued development in science, particularly biology and biotechnology, would ultimately lead to humans being able to live for several centuries, if not longer (barring accidents), thus transcending the historical limitations of being human.

However, only a small minority would experience the full benefits of these developments because whilst technology improved drastically in areas such as medicine, less focus was given to key issues that would affect the global population, such as famine, overpopulation and environmental dangers. As the influence of climate change steadily increased towards the summer of 2045 it was these factors that ultimately brought about the end to human life on Earth.

During the last one hundred years of the twentieth century temperatures increased by one degree celcius – although scientific evidence suggests that most of that change occurred within the last decade of the century. At the dawn of the new millennium temperatures worldwide began to increase more rapidly – by approximately one degree every twenty years.

Rapid industrialisation of developing nations between 1990 and 2025, increased worldwide reliance upon fossil fuels, as well as demand for commodities such as iron ore, copper and wood. In equatorial countries, such as Brazil, widespread deforestation of the rainforest to create land for farming and hydro-electric power generation contributed significantly to the rise in atmospheric carbon dioxide levels. In a single year the loss of rainforest in South America alone had more impact on carbon dioxide levels than all vehicle and aeroplane emissions worldwide. 

Initial government reactions to climate change were slow, particularly due to the fact that those in developed economies were reliant upon technologies, which directly contributed to global warming and they did not want to see any detriment to established levels of comfort in their individual countries. Political engagement with the issues focused on local problems or made minor changes, which provided little improvement. A collective response from all nations was required to balance quality of life worldwide with the basic requirements of all global inhabitants for food, clothing and safe shelter being addressed, however, this was never truly achieved.

As global instability grew, energy dependency became an increasingly important factor in the policies of all national governments in order to secure the future of their countries. Following the ice-free summer of 2045, sea levels worldwide rose rapidly prompting the mass migration of people from affected areas (initially south east Asia, but then spreading quickly through northern Asia and into continental Europe). Interventionism became the main political approach and very quickly the threat of war between nations over security of energy supplies and protection of their borders from the impact of mass migration progressed to being a reality.

*   *   *

Testing period ends in five minutes, the neutral electronic voice announced, breaking the industrious silence that existed beneath the light clicking of fingers across keys. The noise disrupted my concentration for a few seconds, before I re-focused on the concluding paragraph I had just typed.

Perfect timing. I flicked back through the pages on the screen to the beginning of the essay and began to re-read what I had written. Skimming through the sentences I realised that my last-minute revision must have paid off after all.

The final minutes of the test flew by and I had just finished reading the last sentence and sat back in my seat (reasonably satisfied) to stretch out the aching muscles between my shoulder blades, when the writing disappeared from the screen.

Testing period over, the electronic voice confirmed unnecessarily.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, letting the air escape back out of my lungs slowly as my mind pulled itself out of the exam mode it had descended into. Gradually, the phrases and facts about the downfall of the human race on Earth drained away leaving an empty void where my thoughts could rattle around. It seemed rather lonely inside my brain without the distinct purpose of the examination to direct my thoughts.

It’s over. Seven years of Upper School and it all ended a couple of minutes ago with that exam. What an odd feeling. I shook my head – no point getting soppy about it now – at least the exams were finished. Right? Secretly, I rather enjoyed the pressure of an examination: focusing all of my collected knowledge into a specific time and place. Not that I’d admit it to anyone – what kind of normal person likes exams?

I jumped minutely as the sound of a chair scraping across the plastic covered floor broke the post-exam silence. Turning at the noise, I saw Balik and was reminded that I wasn’t alone. Of course, Balik also had the additional thirty minutes because he’d been using the manual input system as well.

When the other eight students had filed silently from the room at the end of their exam period – Ami throwing me a giddy wave as she went – I had been so absorbed in my work I barely registered their movements. I’d completely forgotten about seeing Balik working with the keyboard on the last question.

Sorry.

The word hung oddly in the air between us, Balik murmuring so softly I almost hadn’t heard him. He was collecting his shoulder sack from near the doorway and had obviously noticed my jumpiness.

Perfect. Even people I barely knew could see I was a skittish fool.

No, it’s my fault. Sorry, I apologised quickly. Then paused. I was surprised that Balik had spoken at all – it was so out of character. His eyes met mine for a short moment, the expression in them completely unfathomable and when he said nothing further I blundered on nervously. I’d forgotten I wasn’t alone in here and my brain is still half-asleep after that, I gestured towards the screen with my hand to indicate that I meant the examination and nearly knocked it off the desk.

What is wrong with me?

Balik merely nodded his head upwards once in understanding. He was probably wondering what was wrong with me as well.

Chatty as ever, I thought sarcastically, feeling slightly uncomfortable as the silence stretched out in the cramped room. Uneasiness always brought out the more acerbic side of my personality. Luckily I tend to keep comments like that in my head rather than blurting them out. It must have been an enduring trait from the shy person who hid inside me, disguised by the more confident one that went out into the world each day.

Well, enough with the uncomfortable post-exam banter. I was supposed to be meeting Ami and my other school friends in Park 17 to celebrate the end of our exams and school-life. Why I didn’t really feel like enjoying myself just now I couldn’t actually explain…perhaps it was nerves…?

My gaze dropped uncertainly to the floor as I walked towards the exit. When people didn’t speak it made me want to fill in the silence with some meaningless chatter. But as usual I had no idea what to say and now that made me even more nervous. I opted for uncomfortable silence, keeping the senseless chatter strictly to myself. Should I look up? Do I ignore Balik as though that was the end of the conversation? Was that even a conversation…no it was more like an exchange… See I can do mindless prattle all on my own, I thought, forcing myself to be quiet for a second or two.

Why was Balik still standing there? This was getting frustrating. I had no idea what to do with myself, as Balik remained by the doorway – slowly adjusting the strap of the shoulder sack he had just slung around his neck – and I had to get past him to retrieve my own bag from the floor.

Why can’t he just leave so I can get out of here? I thought irritably.

Here you go, Balik said.

When I looked up I saw that he was holding out my bag towards me. Oh! I mean – er – thanks! I stammered, realising that I had been concentrating so hard on looking at my feet as I walked that I hadn’t even seen him scoop my bag up from the floor.

Reaching out I took the offered bag and swung it onto my shoulder, almost hitting another viewing screen standing behind me as I did so. What an idiot! I fumed at myself, mortified by my complete lack of co-ordination. Internally, my body temperature shot up about forty degrees, but a glance at my reflection in the clear wall behind Balik reassured me that any embarrassment I felt was not showing on my face.

Balik remained still, considering me with an odd expression on his face. What is it, I wondered. Then I realised. He was smiling. It was only a small smile – more of a smirk really – but as I gawped I realised that it was the first time I had ever seen his face light up like this. I opened my mouth soundlessly then closed it, thinking I probably looked foolish.

You are a fool! I told myself as I realised for the first time ever – as though I had only just met him – that Balik was not just a little handsome: he was gorgeous. Trying not to be obvious, I considered Balik’s features while I waited for some further indication that he was going to speak again – or confirm that our exchange was over – I really couldn’t tell.

Balik’s dark brown hair was thick, with a definite wave to it that curled a little near the back of his ears. Tawny brown eyes glowed softly beneath darker lashes and matched the warm golden colour of his skin. His complexion marked him as a likely descendent of the southern European contingent in the space station, or possibly Arab, although everyone on the space station was essentially the same race now: an expatriate of the Earth.

How can a smile make such a difference, I mused, trying not to gawp. A dozen images of Balik through the years – from all of my classes and group trips – passed through my mind. I realised with surprise that he had always been this way, I had just never noticed before. Each image of Balik from my memory showed him standing to one side, hovering in the background, almost as though he were trying not to exist or more precisely, not to be noticed. Even in the images from our classes when he was being called upon to give one of his textbook perfect answers Balik appeared more shadow-like than real.

The pressure of the silence between us remained, growing each second we stayed there and making me nervous once more. Thanks, I repeated myself – foolishly, needlessly – as I found my voice.

It’s only a bag for goodness sake! An inner voice mocked. It was right. I gave myself a mental shake and took a pace towards the exit, turning away from the intense glow of Balik’s eyes before I could make myself look any more ridiculous. He was probably just waiting for me to leave anyway. Pressing my hand to the nearby scanner panel, the door activated and slid back automatically to let me through. I was about to step into the corridor beyond the examination room when Balik spoke.

What did you think of the exam? His voice was soft, but deep, with an attractive resonance I had never noticed before. Probably because he never speaks, I reminded myself. I turned back, deliberately keeping my gaze from his eyes and focused, somewhat blankly, on his face instead.

Not too bad really, I smiled slightly, but who likes exams?

I quite like them, he replied with a casual shrug of his shoulders, something to do with the pressure I guess – and I kind of enjoy the feeling of testing yourself –

He glanced towards me and stopped speaking abruptly. I knew why. My mouth had fallen open and I was looking stupidly in his direction.

Are you OK? His forehead wrinkled with what I took to be a confused expression. 

I closed my mouth and blinked my eyes forcibly, trying to engage my brain. It did not work.  Yes – sorry, I apologised. In my haste to prove I was not the brainless idiot I was coming across as, I blurted out the truth. "It’s just that I actually do like exams, pretty much for the reason you just said but I’ve never thought that anyone else might feel like that and so I would feel stupid saying it."

Oh right…you would feel stupid saying what I said… he repeated my words and I heard how they must have had sounded to him.

No – not stupid…it’s not stupid…it just surprised me to hear you say it, I guess.

I clamped my mouth shut to stop myself divulging any further useless information or insulting him. Get a grip, Cassie, he’s hardly spoken to you in twelve years and you’re probably reminding exactly why that is!

You don’t tell people the truth, Balik observed bluntly.

No – I mean yes – I do tell people the truth. That’s not what I said. My tone was immediately defensive.

It was his turn to apologise.

"I didn’t mean to imply that you lied to people. Balik’s words were hurried and he dropped his gaze from mine to begin fiddling with the strap of his bag. Now it was him that seemed nervous. I just meant that you said something as though it was how you felt when you don’t feel that way at all…I mean…oh forget it, I don’t know what I mean!" He stepped past me towards the corridor, still empty beyond the open door.

My face softened as Balik began rambling and looked distinctly uncomfortable. It made me feel better and slightly less foolish, and it made him appear a little more human than he normally did. Maybe he didn’t have an answer for everything after all?

Don’t worry about it, I said as he passed me. I think I know what you meant.

Balik paused and I saw him smile faintly. I think I know what you meant too, he repeated my words, giving an attractive twist to them.

I smiled back, relieved I think. I couldn’t be sure why, but some part of me didn’t want our strange conversation – exchange – to end.

Where are you going now? Balik turned fully back to face me from the corridor. The brighter hallway lights made his brown eyes glitter warmly and I found myself distracted by their sparkling intensity.

Now? I repeated, the dim-witted part of my brain unfortunately taking control of speech again.

"Well, as much as you love examinations, I assume you don’t intend to spend the rest of the day in the assessment room, do you?" Balik raised his arm, gesturing around us.

Was that a joke? I was shocked: completely and utterly baffled by the stranger that stood before me, chatting away as though it was the most natural thing in the world. It was normal, just not for Balik. Where had this person come from?

Balik was still waiting for an answer. Luckily, just then a fractionally more intelligent part of me took control of my voice and I was able to respond with some coherence. I don’t know – I do really like it in here… He rolled his eyes good-naturedly at my poor attempt at humour, obviously waiting for a genuine answer. I’m heading over to Park 17 – most of the other classes end up there for a bit of wind down after the last exams.

Park 17 was one of the smaller recreation areas on the western side of the Family Quarter, not far from the school. A large viewing screen at the entrance informed you that it was designed in the style of a traditional municipal park, similar to those that had once existed in cities all over the Earth. Inside the park neatly shaped grass spaces encircled the flowerbeds, trees and a small lake; it was tidy, orderly and pretty.

Balik nodded. Do you mind if I walk with you?

Of course, I replied, sure that our classmates would happily welcome this new, talkative Balik. To be honest they would always have welcomed him before, it was more that he seemed to avoid being around people. As far as I knew he didn’t have many friends, in or out of school. He always appeared more comfortable in his own, quiet company.

We walked out of the main school building into the bright light of the afternoon. Ahhhh, Balik sighed happily, and surprisingly loudly.

I laughed softly. It was still odd to hear him speaking. Strange but nice, I admitted to myself, unsure exactly why I thought this. What was that for? I asked, studying him closely.

The sunlight feels so good after being trapped in that little room. Balik’s eyes were closed, face tilted upwards.

"And here’s me thinking that you love examinations… I mocked gently, throwing back at him the same words he had said to me a few minutes earlier. Trapped doesn’t make it sound like you enjoy them that much."

That’s just the room, not that activity, Balik clarified, without turning his head away from the sunlight. With a sigh he added, don’t you find that living here is just…claustrophobic sometimes?

I shrugged my shoulders, unsure. In all honesty I hadn’t really thought about it before. Sure, occasionally I could tell that the air I was breathing in or the water I was drinking had a slight, stale element to it, having been recycled repeatedly through the various processing systems of the space station. But did that make me feel claustrophobic? I didn’t think so. And I had no frame of reference to compare it with, having always breathed the same air and drunk the same water. Just then Balik spoke – he was obviously not expecting an answer from me – and I realised that it had been a rhetorical question.

Even out here, I feel it sometimes, he opened his eyes turning towards me as we started walking. "Perhaps it’s because I know that when I look up and see the sky, that it’s not really the sky: there are no clouds, no stratosphere and troposphere, nothing…just thousands of mirrors, precisely angled to follow the path of the sun as we orbit around it and recreate day and night as though we were still on Earth. It feels real, but I know that it isn’t and so that feels wrong somehow…" Balik’s voice trailed off, as though he realised he was being brutally honest with a complete stranger.

Don’t stop, I encouraged, startled by the earnest in my voice. I was truly interested in what he had to say. Balik appeared equally surprised and appraised me with an air of curiosity for a few seconds.

Sorry – I have a tendency to waffle once I get going – you don’t need to listen to my morose views on life here, he said finally, obviously deciding he didn’t want to share this with someone he barely knew.

Don’t be sorry. It’s nice to hear you speak, I replied shyly, before realising what I had said and flushing a deep crimson. What the hell was wrong with me? Since when did I say exactly what I thought without some serious editing?! What I meant is you’re normally so quiet… Stop talking! That doesn’t sound any better at all! I cringed to think what Balik would suppose my words to mean. But when I looked over at him – noticing that he was a good head taller than I – he was staring straight ahead and did not seem at all bothered by my words. I wondered if he was even listening to me. Taking the opportunity I clamped my mouth shut and continued walking, distracting myself with looking around at the other pedestrians wandering the streets.

As usual there were a lot of parents with young children, most wearing matching day-suits in pale colours, moving between the various recreation areas that proliferated this part of the Family Quarter. There were also a large number of older students happily strolling in the late afternoon enjoying the freedom from school after finishing their exams. The students appeared slightly different to the others: their suits were accessorised with unusual belts or fastenings here and there, while the girls wore their hair styled quirkily to reinforce their individuality.

The need to stamp independence on their appearance was something I found strange if I were truly honest. But then there were things about me: the way I felt, even the way I thought sometimes that made me feel distanced from my friends on the station. So it wasn’t the only thing I found strange about life here. I wasn’t always convinced that I belonged here and fitted in with everyone else in the same way my friends did. I suppose that was what made it harder for me to be like them. Did any of the others accessorise to make themselves different, only to make them appear like everyone else? That was the reason I did it.

Why don’t you use automatic discourse in your exams? Balik asked, unexpectedly breaking into my thoughts.

I was taken aback by the sudden question. Why would he have noticed that? I don’t always use the keyboard, I countered, I was using the headset today.

Not for the whole exam though – what made you change?

Was he spying on me, I wondered, half-joking. It surprised me that the half-serious part of me that thought he might have been wasn’t bothered if it were true. He’s just observant I told myself; it is quite unusual for someone to manually input. 

I just like to use the keyboard for answering certain types of question, I shrugged. It wasn’t a big deal. And I wasn’t about to reveal my more recent problems of hearing odd things when I used the headset.

What types of question? he persisted.

Balik’s interest encouraged me to answer honestly – with some sensible exclusions – and so I let myself ramble on a little bit. It was nice to talk after the hours of exam silence I had endured the past couple of weeks. And although I wouldn’t have marked Balik down for chatter, he seemed a willing audience.

It’s usually the longer, essay-type ones. I find it easier to arrange my thoughts in my head and then type them out, rather than trying to organise and regurgitate them simultaneously as I find myself doing with the headset sometimes. What about you? I noticed you using the keyboard this afternoon –

I’ve seen you use it in the past and wondered why – just thought I’d try it, he replied.

And…? I probed, when he didn’t elaborate further.

And…once I got used to it I found that it helped to keep thoughts clear in my head for answering the question. Especially once I was planning out more complex arguments. His reply was thoughtful…almost as though he were surprised somehow.

Do you enjoy history? I wondered aloud, finding myself caught up by his questioning mood. Perhaps that had been a tough exam for him and that’s why he’d been gazing around when I saw him?

Yes, but not like you do, he said. It seemed an odd answer.

What do you mean?

Nothing bad, he explained hurriedly, just that I always got the impression it was one of your best subjects, along with literary studies.

He’s just observant, I told myself. All the same I was a little surprised as