Heart, Head & Hands

What Others are Saying about Heart, Head and Hands

The book is eminently practical and is divided into chapters concerned with many of the emotional problems that can and do afflict us. The author also offers an intriguing, spiritually based approach to solving such problems. -- Editor, The Christian Parapsychologist, Autumn 2009

We find ourselves understanding a text while feeling that, at the same time, we are liberated by just reading it. This happens in many places in the narrative. Traditionalists will love the book, as it preaches the straight and narrow with regard to doctrine, but in places it almost unconsciously breaks out into a kind of semi-restrained wildness that reminds us of Swedenborg’s own mind – rational but also inward, intuitive, deep, creative, and as our British cousins are wont to say, spot on. -- Eugine Taylor, The Messenger, Oct 2008.

The psychology is readable and understandable; the theology is mixed and far-reaching….There is plenty that is enlightening to read about here…The author…has presented a worth-while contribution to the library of thought and personal investigation -- Gerald Bishop, Outlook No.61, 2008

Heart, Head & Hands:

Copyright 2008 Stephen Russell-Lacy

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Looking for Answers

Taking the Initiative

Valuing Sex

Working on Love

Being Acceptable

Gaining Self-Control

Finding Forgiveness

Calming Anger

Valuing what we Do

Facing our Flaws

Feeling Good about Oneself

Asking for Help

Learning to Trust

Attaining Peace of Mind

Dealing with Death

Surviving a Catastrophe

Coming to Terms with Voices

Shaking off Unhappy Moods

Reacting to Wrongdoers

Overcoming Obsessions

Discovering Confidence

Living through Crisis

Receiving Hope through Despair

Drawing Ideas Together

About the Author

Chapter Notes

Selected Reading

Swedenborgian Resources

Acknowledgements

This book expands on the content of a series of leaflets produced for the Swedenborg Movement and I am grateful for the advice and encouragement of David Friend its Co-ordinator. I would also like to acknowledge my debt to the knowledge and understanding of my teachers, colleagues and students in the fields of clinical psychology and Swedenborgian teaching, particularly Michael Stanley for his time and knowledge in providing detailed comments, also David Lomax, David Gaffney, and Trevor Millar. I am grateful for the helpful feedback of friends and family including David Haseler, Edmund Preston, and my wife Carole and daughter Rachael. I thank Roland Smith for correcting the typescript . The quotations from world's religions are taken from 'Wisdom is One' edited and published by Andrew Dakers Limited London 1947.

Stephen Russell-Lacy December 2007

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1 Introduction

Personal Problems

Everybody is in the same boat. We all have to face the challenge of the negative side of life. This may entail a feeling of unhappiness and a sense of being apart from other people and not really belonging. It may mean worry and unease about things going wrong and for some people it may mean great suffering. Alternatively, it may involve being puzzled about just being alive in the world. What is it all about then? Where do we come from and where are we going? In addition, perhaps more importantly, how do we deal with what life throws at us now?

Some of us learn from our anxiety, depression and anger and learn to deal with these emotional states. Others of us indulge them and allow our lives to be filled by them giving them the energy to harm us and others around us. What follows is my own attempt – as a cognitive-behavioural therapist and a student of Swedenborg's spiritual philosophy – to throw some light on how we can put these personal issues and emotional states into words and respond to them in a straightforward down-to-earth way. It is about what ideas we can consider that might give us a more positive perspective on life, and what things we can do to help us cope better with our lives and relationships. I hope this book will suit those who are interested in finding new ways of seeing life or who want to think about the choices that are open to them.

To this end I have drawn on some practical notions in modern psychological therapy. Sometimes just describing a problematic situation or a self-defeating way of thinking or behaving can lead to seeing a possible solution. More often however, whenever we spiral down in unhealthy thoughts, desires and actions, these all reinforce each other. Breaking the pattern requires much reflection and resolve. Nevertheless, it is possible to change negative habits of thought that adversely affect us. Once we bring such attitudes out into the open, we can examine them in the light of day and challenge them if unrealistic, and look to making some real changes in our attitudes and behaviour in relationships.

Holistic Approach – Heart, Head and Hands

These days it is widely recognised that, in dealing with personal problems, we need to help the whole person. The mind, the body and the spirit are considered together rather than focussing on any one of these in isolation. For example, it is advisable to not only allow a tired body sufficient rest, but also to provide conditions be provided for a relaxed mind and time to be created for the reflection of the spirit. In other words, health-care, counselling and therapy professionals generally believe a holistic approach is necessary. This is the heart, head and hands of personal life -- the emotional awareness of the heart, the ideas in the head, and the activity of the hands.

Personal Development

In what follows, I have linked some ideas in the fields of psychology and psychotherapy with those contained in the books of the eighteenth century visionary and spiritual philosopher, Emanuel Swedenborg (see endnote1a) This book is aimed at all who wish to better understand how to tackle the personal issues in life with which we are all challenged and in particular those who might be favourably inclined towards Swedenborg because of what they have heard or read of him as theologian, philosopher, scientist, or medium. I feel that more people would want to be made aware of the relevance of his system of thought concerning human spirituality and how this relates to, and can profoundly benefit, our individual lives. In this book I have endeavoured to couple my own interpretation of his psychospiritual writings with the modern psychology of personal well-being and individual development. Like many modern transpersonal psychologists I believe spiritual teachings deepen and enrich psychological ideas, and that the latter can help to put the flesh on the bones of the former.

A major point of interest is the topic of personal development - one that goes beyond a concern with simply the psychological well-being of the individual. So for example, this book looks at is how we can deal with the anger, depression and anxiety that form part of milder emotional disorders in a way that can enhance our inner growth.

Correspondence of Inner and Outer

Swedenborg's spiritual ideas have often been associated either with the paranormal or with religion and thus do not appear to fit in easily with the prevalent belief in Western culture that it is only the things that scientists can examine that can possibly provide the answers to our questions about the world in which we live. It is difficult enough to find scientific evidence for the clairvoyant claims of psychics let alone for the existence of God. It is much easier to research into what can be observed for example plant cells and rock formations. On the other hand, spiritual teachers throughout history have encouraged us to focus more on the inner things of the heart and mind. In this way, the external problems of life should affect our inner life less negatively.

He whose soul is not attached to external objects obtains the happiness that is in one's self. (Krishna. Bhagavad-Gita, v, 21 – Hindu tradition)

The wise man is concerned with inner things, he is not concerned with outer things. (Lao Tse. Tao Teb King, xii. – Taoist tradition)

In directing attention towards the inner life of the soul, Swedenborg talks of a correspondence that exists between inner and outer things.(see endnote 1b)

We recognise someone's inner feeling by observing the outer expressions on their face. A smile, frown or glare is a physical change in the facial muscles that is a sign of the inner state of the person – unless he or she happens to be a skilled actor or a hypocrite! Likewise, a beckoning motion of the hands and arms can convey a welcoming attitude. A soothing or harsh tone of voice conveys kindness or anger.

We find it easier to speak explicitly about inner things in terms of outer ones. For example when we refer to vision, we mean understanding – as in 'I see what you mean', or 'the light is dawning'. When we talk of the heart, we mean feeling – as in 'hard-hearted', 'broken-hearted'.

As adults, we do not much use the language of our private inner world except perhaps in intimate disclosure with a close friend or when talking with our therapist or when discussing a novel. At other times such matters may enter dialogue only tangentially as we focus on the practical aspects of earning a living, getting on with other people and managing our financial and domestic life.

Although psychologists are interested in how we talk about the physical things we see in the world about us, they also study non-literal aspects of language where things referred to are not as they seem; where the full meaning cannot be comprehended from the literal sense. Young children are known to take a literal view of things, not understanding the frequent metaphor and irony used by adults. Sarcasm is another example of a linguistic form that requires our re-interpretation as in 'That was a brilliant thing to do', said of an obviously stupid action. Another example is hyperbole, as when we say 'There are millions of people in our office' suggesting there are many people we have to get along with at work but clearly not millions. In line with this work is the study of the way people speak using one word or phrase to represent another.

Metaphors have been called 'double-aspect' terms (see endnote 1c) because they have connected meanings in both the material and the inner personal domains. To illustrate, we apply the word 'strength' both to physical strength and to strength of character. The world of nature can be seen to reflect the mind's inner appreciation of life. For example:

Flowers echo the tender loving thoughts that are so beautiful while they last.

A storm with torrential rain and hail reflects what is fierce and cruel.

We can learn much about the human spirit by watching what nature is teaching us.

As above, so below; as below, so above (Saying of the medieval alchemists)

Swedenborgian Psychology

Swedenborg has not as yet been widely recognised as an important source of psychological ideas. One reason is probably because his books were published in the 18th century in Latin and even in modern English translation they are not easily readable. Yet I believe they contain many startling thoughts regarding a dimension to life that often we miss, being caught up, as we are, in so many of the illusory appearances of the world around us. One example concerns the way our dreams express unconscious creative and destructive impulses that inwardly motivate us. He wrote about this over a hundred years before Sigmund Freud who, in exploring the symbolism of dreams, declared that dreams are the the royal road to the unconscious.

For me, Swedenborg's writings often have a distinctly practical psychological stance. This may sound surprising to those who know him more as an intellectual writer. However, this is practicality is the case in so far as he deals with a psycho-spiritual dimension to life. For he is concerned not only with the inclinations of human nature, and the factors that motivate us but also with such subjects as individual personal growth, the inner aspects of the sexual relationship, human rationality and inner liberty. I hope this introduction to some of his ideas will suggest their relevance to the topics covered as well as to their application to our individual mental health and well-being.

In most chapters, I have tried to provide material from the field of cognitive-behavioural psychotherapy. This type of psychotherapy focuses on the teaching of how to examine, challenge, and replace those self-defeating habits of thought and behaviour that maintain an individual's emotional or relationship problems. I then attempt to also link psycho-spiritual teachings gleaned from Swedenborg with each topic; the final chapter drawing his ideas together.

When I started to write this book I thought I was writing about things from the human perspective. It was to be more a book of psychology than theology. I know many people have been put off religion and so I wanted to show the relevance of the spiritual to the personal side of our lives. However, I discovered it was near nigh impossible for me not to give lot of mention to the divine creative source. Try as I might, I just could not leave out God from the picture. Perhaps this should not have surprised me but it did. I suppose the result reflects on my own basic faith and convictions and someone with a different background would have produced a different emphasis.

At the end of the book, there is a section of Chapter Notes containing suggested further reading relevant to each chapter. For example, in the chapter notes for this Introduction, I have listed a number of biographies for those readers who might be interested in the many facetted life of Swedenborg the man.

Back to Table of Contents

2. Looking for Answers

From our childhood onwards our lives are filled with questions of one sort or another – some more pressing or even agonising than others. But where are we to, or should we, look for valid answers?

Asking Big Questions

There are the really big questions and the smaller ones. Here are a few of the bigger ones. Does outer space beyond our solar system go on forever or does it have an edge – and if so what is on the other side? Where do we come from, why are we here, and what will become of us when we die? I can imagine some alien intelligence on a far distant planet asking exactly the same questions. These sort of universal questions have puzzled thinking people down the ages.

Children as well as adults ask questions. The play age stage of childhood is often characterised by developmental theorists as one of explorative activity and exuberant discovery. Consequently good educational practice encourages a child-centred approach to learning. This compares favourably with the old approach of rote learning. Modern teachers enhance children's interest by providing knowledge building on what they already know. They relate their teaching to the child's limited experiences stretching their understanding a bit further.

Young children's concrete thinking and love of knowing things seems to go deeper than mere curiosity about the physical things they see. When Argentina invaded the Falkland Islands in 1982, the then Superintendent of Education said his three year-old daughter asked all sorts of difficult questions. After watching groups of morose Argentine soldiers being led up into the hills, she would ask 'Are they bad men, Daddy? He would say, No, of course they're not bad men. Some of them are probably very good men, but what they're doing isn't very nice. To which she replied So why doesn't anybody like them, then?"

There may be naivety in their outlook but there is also a simple interest in asking for basic reasons for things. They can even ask astonishingly deep and perceptive questions albeit in their childlike way:

Why can't we see God?

Why does God let us get hurt when we are good?

Why did God make rats?

Unfortunately they do not often get satisfactory answers.

When growing up we may have become frustrated trying to get answers – so much so that we gave up asking about anything really important. If you do not get a meaningful response to your query, then you tend to stop asking and the issue eventually disappears from your conscious mind. This can happen sometimes if parents give no reasons when responding to children e.g. saying So and so is true because I say so. Alternatively, they may more or less restate the question using different words e.g. Why is that man acting so crazy? Because he's insane.

On the other hand there are helpful parents and teachers who may have heard what Albert Einstein once said:

Don't take no for an answer. The important thing is never to stop questioning.

These days the age of religious dogma has begun to pass away and we expect to think about things in a rational way. We can grasp ideas according to what others tell us. For example, we can learn about ideas in philosophy and other fields of thought. Yet, mere knowledge is not enough for a proper understanding.

People who follow Einstein's advice tend to encourage questioning. This could be by using brainstorming. For example, Why are some people gay? Maybe it is inborn, maybe personal choice or maybe something to do with what happens to the individual. When brainstorming, it is important to remember to put all ideas on the table. Decide later, which ones to toss into the rubbish bin. The enquiring mind can then be encouraged to consider alternative explanations and a means of evaluating them. What are the arguments for and against each viewpoint? What sort of information will help us evaluate each one? Where would we find this information?

The teacher can help younger school pupils to find things out using children's love of knowledge. He or she can take advantage of their interest to provide straightforward facts and simple explanations that may be suited to those with a limited experience of life.

However, when they get older these children need their teacher to give them the ways and means of finding out answers for themselves - how to use a library, what books to consult or what considerations to bear in mind. In this way, they can form their own ideas and make their own conclusions. It is the same for all of us. In the end, we will not find the answers to life's quandaries just in what others tell us. Neither will the language of everyday conversation, soap opera scripts, newspaper news, business discussion, or scientific endeavour do more than tangentially