To Tame the Wolf (a Shadow Walkers Novel)

To Tame the Wolf

by Lee Hulme

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2013 Lee Hulme

Foreword and thanks

Welcome to the world of the Shadow Walkers! This new digital edition is a little cosmetically improved, but otherwise the same as the original print edition.

My deepest thanks go out to the ones who love, the ones who inspire, the ones who make my life as good as it is.

Thanks also to those of you who have stayed with the Shadow Walkers over the years, always asking for more. I promise your patience is to be rewarded – more are coming.

In the meantime, if you’ve been here before then welcome back- I hope the world remains as dark, as magical, and as full of surprisingly light for you as it does to me.

If you’re new to the world, then welcome. I hope you’ll stay.

Finally, if you notice a change in the authorship of this book, you’re not seeing things. The short version is: after coming out as transgender, after a lot of thought, I decided to change what I could of my books and whatnot. Everything else remains as is.

Prologue

She heard the familiar cry, the signal for her to move. In a flash she was gone, running lightly through the undergrowth. No twig broke, no eye could give shape to the copper-grey blur.

Drawing near, his scent filling her nostrils, she slowed to a trot and let him scent her.

His snout rose, sniffed, and he sauntered over to her, touching her nose with his.

‘Ahead, 200 metres.’ he said softly, more growl than speech.

‘Attack It from both sides.’ she replied and set off, stealthily, to the right.

Her partner, sleek black and touched by silver, slid to the left and moved forward.

Together they crept close, as one, each needing no assurance that the other was doing the same.

It came into view in a small clearing. She circled around, gaining his side, knowing he would gain the other.

For a moment she stood, hackles up, crouched and ready to pounce at some unknown, instinctive signal.

The signal came, and she leapt. Flying through the air, darkness come to life.

She had time to see the crouching, hideous figure turn to her partner. It’s eyes blazing yellow under an overhanging brow, teeth pointed and glinting in the faint moonlight.

It launched toward him, arms outstretched, and caught his muzzle in both hands.

She landed on Its back and dug in with sharp claws. It’s head turned and she snapped, heard a tear, spat out the grisly, cold flesh.

It let go of her partner for a second, rose, flung her violently to the floor. She hit hard and lay dazed as It turned back to her partner.

With a shake and a howl, she leapt once more, barreling into Its side.

It tumbled onto its back, leaving her partner to fall to the floor. In a flash, she was on it, biting, scratching, until Its struggles grew weaker with exhaustion.

Then, in the blink of an eye, she shifted.

Now on its chest was no large, 200lb wolf.

Now on its chest was a 6ft tall, naked woman. Blood dripped from her mouth and hands as she pulled up Its head and gripped it, front and back.

With a swift, easy flick, Its neck swung round and cracked deafeningly. So injured, It lay still, accepting defeat and hoping for freedom.

Then it saw.

Attached to her back was a scabbard of battered leather. She reached behind one shoulder and pulled out a 15-inch silver sword.

Knowing, It tried to struggle but was too weak. She stood, one bare foot pinning It to the forest floor.

In a fluid movement, she lifted the sword above her head and brought it down onto Its neck. Before Its head could move, he burst into searing blue flame and was gone, leaving no mark. Then she turned away, an unconscious sneer of disgust turning her lip upwards, and went to her partner.

He was now a naked man, lying helplessly on the ground. Bleeding, one eye gouged loose, the other half-conscious, tears scouring his body, a chuck of flesh missing from the base of his throat.

She dropped to her knees beside him. ‘Danieel.’ she whispered.

He touched her, tried to speak and found only blood. He spat it out and tried again. ‘I can feel...the poison...Sansé.’

‘No...’ she told him, eyes glistening wet.

He matched her tears and swallowed. ‘Yes...he was a bad...bad one...you must do it...before...before it is too...late...’

‘I cannot.’ she pleased ‘Perhaps-’

‘You know.’ he interrupted. ‘There is no perhaps...better this...death...than that...life...’

Sobbing, she kissed him gently on the forehead, then lifted herself up and took hold of the sword once more. She bent and wiped it clean on the grass, then stood over him.

Her tears touched his ravaged face and he tried to smile. ‘Go on...my love...never forget...I’ll be waiting...’

Sansé lifted her arms, the silver weapon shimmering cruelly, gaining weight every second she held it, but finally it rose above her head, triumphant in the forest sheen.

‘What good is good if life is just to make no difference and then die a nobody, after giving everything?’ she asked.

He had no reply, simply caressed her ankle and traced the shape of a heart.

She pursed her lips and kissed the air. Then, as of their own accord, her arms fell and his head rolled away like a final punctuation.

‘What use, if the evil always wins and grows ever larger?’ she asked, dropping the sword and loosing the scabbard from her back.

She let the leather fall behind her as Danieel’s body melted silently away into the dirt.

‘What use to always love - and always love?’ she asked, then shifted again, back into the copper-grey wolf.

‘No use at all!’ she growled, then slunk away to find a place to sleep until the dawn.

Chapter 1

'I think she's waking.’An old man said, holding the hand of a young girl.

She lay on a bed, surrounded by three men. Her right calf was heavily bandaged, but still faint patches of drying blood could be spied through the layers.

The oldster, a gaunt figure with flat, white hair and a kindly face, watched anxiously.

Across from him, a 30-something, stocky, pale faced man with intense blue eyes and copper-red hair removed the cool cloth from the girl's forehead and waited.

The third, watching from the foot of the bed, skin the colour of milky coffee with dark hair lolling aimlessly down to almost cover large, dark eyes, seemed to be closest in age to the unconscious girl.

The girl stirred, her brown-blonde hair settling chaotically upon the pillow. She opened soft, gentle, intelligent brown eyes and stared, uncomprehending, for a moment at the three men. Then the eyes turned afraid and she tried to yank herself away, trying to speak, staring accusingly around.

The middle-aged man held her down as gently as he could.’Don't move.’ He recommended.

It was his voice, perhaps - warm and caring - but the girl settled down and stopped struggling. In a moment she found her voice, spoke shakily.’W-who are you? Where am I? What…what are you going to do with me?'

'Nothing, my dear.’ The old man said. His voice was gravely and tired.’Do you remember? You were in the woods…' He prompted.

The girl's expressive eyes flew wide as the memories flooded back.

Sunnyhurst Woods…she walked idly, humming to herself…a branch cracked and she started, then shook her head with a smile and continued…a rustle in the bushes…she stopped dead, faced the undergrowth…her mother's nagging words reverberated in her head 'You'll be out of luck one of these days, lady, walking alone in those woods all the time.’ …a growl froze her thoughts and her blood for a second, before she turned back the way she had come - the fastest route out of the woods - and pounded the ground as she ran hell-for-leather…but though it seemed an eternity in a bad dream, soon the growling close behind convinced her it was all too real…the beast was upon her, teeth clamping around her right calf…tall as a man, but stooping, it shoved her down as she tried to turn and fight before dropping to all fours…a line of slobber touched her unbelieving face…this thing was covered in hair, with a long snout that snarled and showed razor-sharp teeth…but it's eyes! Oh god, it's eyes were human!…little else registered as she began to swoon, only a faint thrumming sound and a cry - from where or who, she did not know…then darkness enveloped her and she heard no more.

Until now! She gasped.’You! You saved me?' She still sounded half-accusing, but her eyes were calmer and the urgent panic had left her voice.

The old man nodded.’The beast that attacked you is no more. We brought you here, to a place we know, and cared for you while you slept through the night and into the day.'

The girl looked for the first time at her surroundings.

The room was spacious and unlived in, lit coldly by a lamp in each corner. It contained only a desk and the bed she lay on, plus three backpacks stuffed to bursting, each with a sleeping bag attached.

'Who are you?' She asked now, looking back at the old man - the only one who seemed ready to explain.

He smiled, a melancholy sight until she saw his eyes glitter - though with what, she could not quite say, as their colour seemed to change constantly.’We are they who walk in the shadows to fight for the light.’He said simply, his mouth twitching in something she took for amusement.

'Er…' The girl frowned.’Okay, I'm sure that makes sense to someone…What are your names?'

The middle-aged man chided the old one with a tutting sound and a smile that lit up his ghostly face.’I am Camhlaidh.’He said.’The old one is Menw, and the youngster is Julio. What is your name?'

She smiled.’Unusual names…mine is Jodhi. I live in Blackburn, but your speech - and your name…tells me you don't?'

Camhlaidh shook his head.’A long time ago I came from Scotland. More, I come from nowhere and travel everywhere.'

'Scotland! That's the place!' Jodhi smiled.’I have a hobby, dialects and names and things. Yours sound strange, older, even in the Highlands where you come from.’She mused a moment.’Your accent is faded, older like I said, with only a bit of a lilt to it. It's been long since you went home?'

Camhlaidh shrugged.’It has been long and long.'

Jodhi was sad for him, she could see how he used to walk the mountains and sit to watch the view, and she could see how he missed it.’You miss it.’She told him.

He nodded.’I do. But it is always in my heart.’He placed a hand over his chest and smiled that radiant smile.

Menw nodded.’You may notice how Camhlaidh speaks very little, yet you know more than he has said.'

Jodhi started in surprise.’I…but I…I saw so clearly! His mountains, the way he climbed and camped out just to watch the sky at night…wha-how-?'

Camhlaidh shrugged.’Telepathy.'

'Huh?' Jodhi was unsure whether to laugh at the joke - unsure, in fact, if it was a joke.

Menw tilted his head.’He is a powerful telepath. I hope you will find this out, Jodhi. One of the things he does without trying is to say little, but yet convey more than speech ever could.'

'Telepath…' Jodhi couldn't hide her bemused eyes.’Well, I always kinda believed in spooks and ESP and stuff but I dunno much about it. And how am I meant to find out more?' She added, a little suspiciously.

Menw gave his tired smile and this time his eyes settled to amber long enough for Jodhi to see his sadness.’You were bitten, Jodhi. If you believe in telepathy, which you must because you are intelligent and have experienced it, then you must learn to believe…in werewolves.'

Jodhi let out a sharp, terrified laugh, but said nothing.

'You were bitten by one, Jodhi, if you believe it or not. Tonight was the third and last of the werewolves changing time - so you will find out next month just what this means.’ Menw hurried on, before she could say anything.’You can learn to control it and use it to your advantage; we will help you do this if you join us in our fight against the darkness. We will tell you all we know of werewolves and every other type of being. We will show you how to control the wolf inside and bend it to your will. We will-'

Jodhi cut him off by rising and hopping off the bed. She collapsed in agony when she hit the floor, holding her bandaged leg.’I want to go home.’ She told them coldly.’If I've been out all night then my mum'll be afraid. I don't believe in werewolves, I'm not a werewolf, and next month I'm gonna go to bed and sleep, just like I always do, and just like I want to do now.’

'We'll let you go, Jodhi.’ Menw told her as Julio rushed to her aid, and then dropped back as she shoved him away.’But first you need to know something about the monster you will become if you cannot control it. Once you know, then you will be prepared and we will let you go, and remain here a while so you can return to us if you wish.’

Jodhi laughed hysterically.’Sure, right! Let me go!' She cried; Camhlaidh was lifting her bodily back onto the bed.

'Let me talk to her.’ Julio said.’Wait outside.’

Jodhi giggled.’And what're you, another telepath?'

He shook his head.’I'm an empath.’

With an effort Jodhi calmed herself and changed the subject to his accent.’You don't look American.’

Julio nodded, his dark brown eyes staring intently at her.’I am, but my family is Mexican.’ He grinned suddenly, showing sparkly-white teeth ,’My Grandparents were wetbacks.’ Chuckling at the confusion on Jodhi's face ,’It's a word for illegal Mexicans - means they swam from Mexico to America.’ His face turned serious.’But never use that word to anyone, to a Mexican it is an insult equivalent to…some used against African-Americans. Besides, my Abuelita, my Grandma, she'd skin my hide and hang me from a flag post if she knew I'd called her one!' He grinned again and turned to Menw.’Leave us be a while.’

Menw rose reluctantly, but sprightly for one who looked as aged as he did, and Camhlaidh followed.’Call if you need us.’ The telepath told Julio, who nodded - seeing the full meaning in his head 'Call us if she turns violent…'

Jodhi stared coldly at Julio who smiled warmly.’Like I said, I'm an empath. I know how you feel; I know everything you feel at this moment.

Once the door closed, Jodhi turned on Julio with a snarl.’What?! What, you gonna amaze me by telling me I feel like shit?! Like you guys are crazy bastards? Like I'm crazy for actually believing you?! Like-like…' She faltered, lost in her anger, disturbed by her own unaccustomed viciousness.

Julio waited patiently for her to look at him again.

When she did, it was with tears in her eyes.’I'm just…normal. This can't be happening.’ she sobbed.

Julio sat and held her as she wailed angrily into his shoulder. Once, she tried to pull away, lashing out when he refused to let her, but then she calmed, slowly, and sat up. Julio saw the sad acceptance in her eyes,

'You're too clever to convince yourself this isn't real.’ he spoke, finally.’You saw the beast. You know Cam's telepathy is real because he showed it to you. Now we can help you, and we want to help you, all you have to do is let us.’

'Help? Help me?' She laughed hysterically.’I'm gonna turn into a-a monster every full moon and you want to help me?!'

Julio shook his head.’The thing you were attacked by is what happens to those without control. If you become that type of wolf, then for three nights a month - the moon itself, and the two days either side - you will become that thing. You will be that beast, and you will turn other people. Unless, that is, you have control.

'And…with control?' She asked fearfully.

'You can choose to control the wolf, to let it out or keep it in, to give it no power over you. With control, you won't be a slathering, mindless beast but a sleek, beautiful wolf with your own mind, and the wolf's senses. And on the nights of change, you'll be no more vicious than if you had PMT.’ He gave a cheeky grin.

'What would I have to do?' She ignored his attempt at lightening the mood.’What about my life? The one I have now?' Tears welled forth again.

'Your life will never be as it was before last night.’ Julio admitted.’Your choice is the hardest you will ever make. To remain here, become the beast every month - but not give up all you know and love. Or…to leave, join us, let us help you - let us be your family.’

'How did you join up?' Jodhi asked, unable to consider anything until her mind was calmed further.

Julio shrugged mildly.’I'm an empath. I feel people's emotions, and their…auras? Something like that…I was only 18 - two years ago - when I was taking out the trash and felt an evil presence. I don't mean just a bad person, I mean an evil something…inhuman, less than, more than, other than human. Like an idiot I stayed instead of running and it came for me. I fought it off, somehow, but I could not stay where I was, not with the knowledge I suddenly had. I chose to leave home. Once knowing what really lurks in the shadows, how could I have stayed and pretended different? Though the Lord knows I still wish I had sometimes.’ He smiled wryly.’So I wandered and was eventually found by Menw and Cam. I joined them, and lost everything I had - family, friends, job, girlfriend, most of my possessions. But I found everything, too…' Now his smile was warm ,’My family, my friends are those I travel with, those in our group. My job is to fight the creeping darkness so others can live in freedom. My girlfriend…' Here he bowed his head sadly ,’I don't know what happened to her, but I have none now - nor would I wish to, for I could die in the next fight. My possessions, we have things we need, some luxuries.’ He nodded. Jodhi saw it was one of satisfaction.

'What was it? The presence?' Jodhi held her breath.

'A vampire.’ Was the calm reply

She gasped and a hand flew to her mouth.

'Vampires are much as described in legend, though there are some differences. But, like you, if the person can control the vampire, then instead of becoming a monster, can be as a normal human being. Under control, a vampire who does good deeds looks mostly as you or me, with differences best seen rather than described. When feeding, the eye-teeth lengthen, but such a vampire only feeds on the flesh and blood of the animal. Any butcher will sell blood.’ He smiled at her horrified expression.’You look like I did when I first met a vampire.’

She covered her face with her hands and shook her head.’I feel like I'm in an episode of Buffy!' Came the muffled whine.

Julio grinned.’I feel like that every day!' He confessed.

Jodhi peeked at him.’How do you watch TV?'

'We have ways.’ He shrugged.’Until I'm sure you'll believe me, I can't say any more.’

'If you steal TV's you can tell me.’ She gave back with bitter sarcasm.

'We never steal.’ Julio frowned deeply and looked away.’We accept only that which is given freely in gratitude or payment for labour. The cholos I grew up watching, hating, showed me only that their way was not the right one. I'm no gang member, Jodhi, never hint that I am. All of us, our whole group, live the same way. We have friends who give when they can, when we have to work for food we do. And Menw-' he stopped short.’Menw has some ways, too. Legal ones.’ He finished the last two words in a half-growl.

Jodhi glanced around, afraid to meet those darkly flashing eyes.’Sorry.’ She whispered.

Julio jumped up, shook his head, hit his forehead.’No, truly I'm sorry!' He sat again with a depreciating grin.’I still feel the pain of many of my own things, as well as that of others. Forgive me, I'm sorry.’

Jodhi gave him a tentative nod for which she got a winning smile.

'So, when do we leave?' She asked quietly, sadly.

Julio gently placed an arm around her shoulders.’You've decided to join us?' He asked.

'What other choice have I got?' She shrugged him off.’But don't expect me to be happy. Once I have control of this thing I'm coming straight home!'

Julio nodded.’I understand.’ But his eyes twinkled that he knew differently. Looking elsewhere, Jodhi did not see.

Julio opened the door and called Menw and Cam back inside.

'The lady joins us?' Menw asked hopefully.

Julio nodded.’The Slayer has arrived,'

'Huh?' From both men.

Julio chuckled and saw, from the corner of his eye, Jodhi crack a small smile.’Nothing, fathers, nothing.’ He patted them both patronisingly on a shoulder and grinned widely at their bemusement.

'I have to see my mum.’ Jodhi said in a sullen voice.’I dunno what I'll tell her, and you might have to wrestle me away when she tries to stop me…but I have to say goodbye. Even though she'll hate me for it.’

'She would only hate because she loves you.’ Julio said.’Because she'll be worried, afraid, hurt. But she'll always love you.’

'Don't preach to me, Julio.’ Jodhi stood tall.’I also want to say goodbye to a-a close friend.’

Cam raised an eyebrow.’Does she have a name?'

Jodhi grimaced and snarled.’Not your goddamn business! Let me keep my thoughts, at least! My memories! My privacy! If you must take my life, leave me my brain.’

Cam bowed his head in shame.’I did not look. The picture came to me.’

'Next time try ignoring it.’ She retorted.

Cam nodded and said nothing, but guilt fell over Jodhi like a blanket and she cried out.’And don't give me these feelings either!'

Julio stepped in.’He didn't give you any feelings, Jodhi, though you might be picking up some of his. He also didn't look inside your head. It was his talent not him. Cam would never see something without permission or accident. He feels as bad as you do, believe me.’

'I doubt it.’ She said stubbornly, knowing who she was talking to.

Julio shrugged.’Hey, what would I know? I'm just the empath.’ He said pleasantly.

Jodhi's anger crushed itself as she collapsed into sobs once again.

Julio led the others outside, shut the door and walked them a few feet away, facing out into the woods.’She needs her peace.’ He told them.

Menw was confused.’Why was she so angry about you getting to see her friend's picture?' He asked them.’What's wrong with you seeing what her friend looks like?'

Cam hesitated ,’I…think they are more than just friends, only it's a secret.’ He looked for confirmation.

Julio nodded.’That's what I get. They haven't told yet, because the world is too cruel.’

Menw knitted his grey-white brow.’So it was a man? Her boyfriend? Would her mother disapprove?'

Julio smiled - 'Menw always seems so awkward when using words more current than the 1500s' he thought.

'No, it was a girl.’ Cam told him, patiently waiting for the penny to drop.

'Oh.’ The old man said, and then 'Oh!' He threw his hands in the air.’My brain, my mind, they cease to work!' He grinned.’But I still have no understanding of the problem with this.’

'Not everyone around here likes dykes.’ Came Jodhi's voice from behind them.

All three whirled around.

'Sorry.’ She shrugged negligently.’Didn't mean to interrupt. Still want me along?'

'Of course we do.’ Julio said.’I swear-'

'Course you do!' Jodhi mocked surprise.’You're guys! You love