Falcon Brown

Falcon Brown

By Jennifer Brown Burroughs

Copyright 2014 Jennifer Brown Burroughs

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person,please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hardwork of this author.

Chapter 1

The rain stung like needles as it hit my face. The wind whipped my hair and my pants were soaked from a combination of the pelting rain and running along the water’s edge. I ran as hard as I could, willing the wind and water to cleanse my soul of all that weighed it down and the waves to carry it out to sea. I prayed intensely to be freed from knowing, seeing, sensing, and hearing what others don‘t.

Exhausted and winded, I threw my weary body down on the pier and watched the ocean crash onto the beach as the tide rose. I refused to allow a thought to enter my head. I felt empty. My swollen eyes couldn’t spare another tear. For that moment, my heart was for nothing but coursing blood through my body. The thrashing rain, pounding surf, and the hammering of my own pulse echoed in my head. I stayed there until the rain stopped.

The sun filtered through the breaking clouds. With the return of the sun, tourists slowly trickled out of their cottages and hotel rooms. My solitude was over. I pulled myself up and started walking towards home. The sun was warm and dried my drenched clothes and hair as I made my way back to our bungalow. I stood in front of the little house that I have lived in all my life. It looked so peaceful. Most of the time, it was.

I opened the front door, preparing myself for the sorrow I knew was on the other side. My mother’s eyes were full of sadness as she pulled me close. She told me that my grandmother’s wake would be on Thursday and her funeral would be Friday morning. My mom’s long, dark, curly hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Obviously not in the mood to bother with how she looked, but she was still beautiful.

I went into my bedroom and shut the door. I looked out the back window to see my Dad just sitting on the bench that we built together. He stared into the marsh. Although his face was unreadable, I knew his mind was full of thought and his heart full of sorrow. His typical smile wasn’t there, but he was still striking. He has a strong tan face, long black hair to the middle of his back, eyes so dark that they look like polished onyx. He towers over my mom at six foot two. I marvel over the way his large hands can do such intricate, beautiful woodworking and artwork. I have always been very close to him.

I am so grateful for my parents. I love them with all of my heart. They encourage me to strive for what I want. They tell me that the only boundaries that I have are in my own head. I never fear going to them with anything. They may not be happy with my choices but their love is unconditional and they accept the good and the bad. Perhaps my relationship with them isn’t typical of most sixteen year olds. But we are not a typical family.

I rummaged through my closet and pulled out my dark blue dress, intending to wear it to the services, when I had the overwhelming urge to put it back and pull out a red dress instead. Then I heard her, Come now Falcon, I like red. You can’t celebrate my life wrapped in darkness. My eyes filled, ahhh, she made it back so quickly. I whispered past the lump in my throat, Grandma, I miss you so much. I felt a fluttering on my cheek, I will always be close her voice came softly. A peace came over me as I felt the room empty. I was so fearful that she would not be able to come back to me. Deep down, I knew that nothing would keep her away. My heart mended a tiny bit at that moment.

Thursday, my parents were rushing around taking care of last minute preparations to have people back to the house after the funeral tomorrow and getting ready for the first viewing this afternoon. I helped as much as I could without getting in the way. It was getting late so I went into my room and took my red dress off of the hanger and looked at it. For a fleeting moment, I worried what others would think of me wearing such a bright color to what most view as a somber occasion. Oh well, she wants me to wear it, so I slipped it over my head and buttoned it up. I fixed my hair quickly and went easy on the makeup. I never understood why people wear mascara when they know they are going to cry. As I walked into the hallway, Dad came out of his room. We stopped and stared at each other. For the first time in days we both smiled and then started laughing. My mom peeked around the corner, surprised to hear laughter. She was even more surprised to see us standing there, me in my red dress and dad in his bright red shirt. She looked down at her gray dress and shrugged her shoulders. It seems that yet again, I didn’t get the memo. Poor mom, she didn’t share the gift. As far as we knew, my dad and I were the only ones in the family that were in tune with the spirit world. My dad kissed my mom and told her that she looked lovely anyway. We reluctantly made our way to the funeral home. The funeral director greeted us and led us into the room where my grandmother lie in her casket so that we could have some time alone with her before the guests arrived. I took a deep breath, slowly making my way to her. I averted my eyes to the flowers filling the room as my dad stood over his mother and gazed at her for a moment before kneeling next to her and bowing his head. I know it was only a couple of minutes, but it felt like eternity as I waited for my turn. He stood up, leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. He stepped aside and my mother said a prayer over my grandmother. My parents moved and my dad nodded his head for me to come close. I finally looked at her and was taken aback at how beautiful she looked. My eyes filled. This was real. I was too numb to form a prayer in my head so I simply leaned over and whispered, I love you

We sat in the row of chairs to wait for my Uncles and Aunt to get there with their families. They wandered in one after another. I excused myself to the restroom to be alone for a moment. Despite the air conditioning, I was quite warm. I splashed a little cold water on my face and dried it with a paper towel. I glanced in the mirror to check my hair, and there she was. She looked different than the other spirits that I have seen. She was bright and beautiful, smelled of sage and enveloped me in an energy that could only belong to her. Unlike the others, she was not earthbound. She did not look as she did on her death bed, but like the young woman that I only saw in her scrapbooks. I felt comfort, sadness, joy, exhilaration and pain all at the same time. I strained to hear her soft voice, Falcon, you and your father have always wondered if you were the only ones with the ability to communicate with the other side. Pay attention to the red flags. She winked as she faded away.

A knock on the door pulled me back to reality. My mom asked Hello, Falcon are you in there? I tried to sound calm but my reply was shaky anyway, yup, I’ll be right out. I walked out to see that there was a long line of people waiting to pay their respects. I braced myself for the flood of Sorry for your loss. No one was as sorry as I was. I made my way back to my spot between my parents. I scanned the crowd of people while I replayed my grandmother’s words in my head. My dad and I had always wondered if anybody else in the family could connect with those that have passed on. It wasn’t exactly something you could bring up at a family gathering, Oh, by the way, do dead people talk to you too? So, we only know of my grandmother, father and I. My eyes landed on my cousin, Elijah. Heat flooded my face and I could feel my heart beat faster. He was wearing a red shirt. Oh my God, she told us to wear red, red flags, so we would know who was and who wasn’t. My eyes darted around for Elijah’s father, my uncle Lee. His shirt was blue. From across the room, Elijah looked up and made eye contact with me. He looked at my dress, his eyes darted to my father, and then back to me. He visibly took a deep breath and had obviously just come to the same realization that I had. I was having a hard time focusing on the people speaking to me as they came through the line. I was too engrossed in searching for more red. My Aunt Jeanette was suddenly in front of me, wearing a red sweater and black skirt. She glanced sideways at my dad and then back to me. She hugged me and whispered in my ear, Now we know, thanks to Mom, now we know. I thought I was all alone. By the end of the evening, I saw several more relatives wearing red. As a small child I had told my dad and grandmother that I saw, heard, and sensed things that other people didn’t seem to see. It prompted them to share their abilities with me and each other. It seems that the others were afraid to divulge their secret for fear of not being accepted. Thankfully, I spoke of it before I knew that it was considered odd and chose people that could truly relate. Grandma could finally see from the other side who had the gift, and urged us to connect by revealing us to each other.

On the ride home, I asked my dad if Grandma had given him the same message. He said yes and he pulled a list from his pocket. He had jotted down everyone he spotted wearing red. I noticed that he had written down his cousin Molly and then crossed her out. I asked Dad, why is she crossed out? He smirked and said, Grandma said that she would never tell someone to wear a red sequined shirt to a wake, she was just tacky, not gifted.

The next day was a long one but the ceremony was beautiful. My grandmother was laid to rest in her place next to my grandfather. Red roses and brightly colored wildflowers were piled atop her grave. My dad reached over and plucked two roses and handed one to my mom and one to me. We made our way back to the house along with more guests than could fit inside. Luckily the weather was nice and many people sat outside.

I stood in the center of the yard, staring into the marsh, surrounded by people, but feeling very alone. I will see my grandmother from time to time. I know she will be around but I will never be able to jump on my bicycle and race to her house when the mood strikes me. I can’t pick up the phone and call her. I can’t hug her. I was feeling very sorry for myself when I looked around and realized that out of all of us, only a few of us were wearing red last night. It was the first time that I felt that my abilities were a gift. I am able to reach out to her and get confirmation that she hears me. So many people will miss her and never know how close she really is.

A tap on my shoulder pulled me back to reality. Elijah stood there. You want to take a walk? he asked. I looked around and figured I could leave for a bit. Sure, let’s head towards the beach. He seemed a little uneasy and quiet, very unlike him. He suddenly blurted, When did it happen for you? How old were you? I told him that I couldn’t remember a time that I couldn’t see or hear things. Do you know that stuff is going to happen or know what has happened without being there? He asked this question with a concerned look on his face. I hesitated but replied Yeah, sometimes I do. Sometimes I can feel what other people feel, physical and emotional We stood on the beach and stared out over the water. Both of us were relaxing, feeling less tense about sharing information that we thought we could never share without being looked at as freaks.

Elijah is one of my favorite cousins. I have always felt comfortable with him. If only I had known before. We could have been confiding in one another all this time. He is a year older than me and we have always been close. Neither of us knew that we kept the same secret. I glanced sideways at him and was surprised to see tears streaming down his face. I took his hand and he crumpled to the ground sobbing. I sat down and hugged him. We both cried until we were drained. We sat in silence for a bit. It was then that he spoke words that seemed to be wrenched from his guts, I knew she was going to die. I was there a couple of weeks ago helping her plant some shrubs. I spent most of the day there. It wasn’t until I left that I got this overwhelming feeling that I would never see her again. God, I didn’t know what to say. How do you tell someone that you think they are going to die? I talked myself into thinking that I was nuts. I have known a lot of things before they happen, but never death. When my dad told me that she had died I thought I was going to go out of my mind. I felt like I let her die by not telling her. Last night, she came to me in a dream and she told me that she knew too. I didn’t need to feel bad because it wouldn’t have changed anything. It was like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. Today is the first day that I could just grieve without it being overwhelmed with guilt.

The entire time he spoke he stared at the sand. He looked up to see my reaction. All I could say was, You had no way of knowing that she would have understood. I think we are all meant to go at a certain time so I don’t think telling her would have made any difference. I am so sorry that you had to go through that alone. He took a deep breath and said softly, me too. I wondered if she knew because as I left, she gave me one of Grandpa’s Civil War swords. She said they had been passed down to the boys in the family for generations. I recalled my father coming home with a sword not long ago and placing it in the chest in my parent’s room. My hand went to my throat where a small zincite crystal hung from a silver chain. Grandma had given it to me about a month ago. I had always admired it when she wore it. I put it in my jewelry box and today is the first time that I have worn it. It is a fiery orange and when I put it on, my entire body felt electric, as though something was happening. She also gave me a ring. A cameo carved from mother of pearl with a very old silver band. Elijah reached into his pocket and pulled out a flat green stone with the face of a wolf carved into it. She put this in my hand and told me that it was special and to hang onto it.

We had been gone for about an hour so we decided to start walking back. We walked along the water’s edge instead of walking on the sidewalk. We were pretty much silent most of the way down the beach. It occurred to me to ask, I know you can see people that have passed but are they always random or do you have people that you see regularly? He rolled his eyes and made a face, Oh, I have some regulars, you? Yeah, I have a couple. We approached the house and noticed that a lot of cars had left. I was kind of relieved. After the past couple of days, I was longing for a little solitude.

Elijah and Uncle Lee left a little while later. The door closed behind the last guest. The silence was deafening. When the house was finally cleaned up, I walked into the kitchen and put water on for tea. I made myself a cup of cinnamon tea and grabbed a few cookies from the jar. I melted into a chair, sipped the warm tea, and dunked my cookies and thought of how these were my Grandmother’s favorite cookies. My mom can bake just about anything. It is all good but these were her most requested, oatmeal cookies with dried cranberries and chunks of white and dark chocolate. My dad came in and sat across from me and took one of my cookies. I told him about my talk with Elijah. We talked about whether or not to approach anyone else that wore red the night of the wake. He said that for now, he wanted to let everything settle down, and see if anyone came to us first. Although there were about ten people on the list, not including us, we were only close to a couple of them. My dad has learned the hard way that people can’t always be trusted and he doesn’t like to share too much of our personal lives with anyone. He loves Elijah and trusts him. My dad’s sister, my Aunt Jeanette that spoke to me at the funeral has always been close to my dad. Dad has four brothers, Lee, Adam, Luke, and Mason. He is closest to Lee, sees Adam and Mason at the holidays mostly because they both live a couple of hours away. The only sibling that he doesn’t get along with is Luke. Dad used to try to have a relationship with him, but Luke betrayed him more than once so now he only sees him when he has to. My father has never told me what exactly happened but it is pretty apparent that whatever it was, it shook him to the core.

Just then, Mom appeared in the doorway, looking white as a sheet. Mom, what is wrong? Dad saw it coming and dove across the room to break her fall as she went down. She still hit her head on the door frame but Dad caught her before she hit the floor. Call 911 he instructed calmly as he put her gently on the floor and checked her pulse. I was a wreck. The poor dispatcher could barely understand me. I finally got it out that my mother had passed out. Dad called over that she was breathing but still unconscious. I stood in front of the house and waved them down. The E.M.T. asked a few questions and they put her in the back of the ambulance. Dad seemed so calm as he drove closely behind the ambulance. My hands were shaking like crazy. All I kept thinking was, God no, not my mother, don’t take my mother. I had buried my grandmother that morning. This was more than I could take in one day. I started to feel as though I couldn’t breathe. I must have been breathing heavy because Dad glanced sideways at me and said, relax Falcon, don’t you pass out on me too. Poor Dad, I forced myself to calm down. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths until the panic passed.

We found a parking spot and rushed into the emergency room. They told us to have a seat for a few minutes while they took a look at her. It seemed like an eternity before the receptionist called out for my father, Mr. Brown, you can go in and see your wife after you register her. So dad gave all of her information and we headed back to see her. She was awake and started crying when she saw dad. I am so sorry Cain, you didn’t need this today of all days. My dad smiled at her and kissed her on the forehead, Yeah Gwen, kindly plan for a more convenient day next time you wipe out. She managed a smirk as he sat next to her and held her hand. Concern came over his face, what happened? She shrugged, I don’t know. I was putting my clothes away and I suddenly got really dizzy. I was going to sit down and wait for it to pass but it wasn’t going away so I decided I had better come out and get you. I heard Falcon ask me what was wrong and then everything went black. Someone from the lab peeked around the curtain and asked if she could come in and take some blood. Mom put out her arm and dad turned his back to them. He is so calm cool and collected about everything except needles. We sat there for quite a while before a doctor came in to take another look at her and talk to us. He shook dad’s hand, hello Mr. Brown, Guinevere told me what a stressful few days your family has had. I am sorry for your loss. My dad nodded and said,