Beloved Companion (A Soul and His Chosen Human Host Examine Their Life Together)

INTRODUCTION

The work before you concerns a search for the meaning of my life. It begins with Sylvia Browne and her son, Chris Dufresne, separately predicting in their nine-month-apart psychic phone readings for me that I am going to be writing a valuable metaphysical book. Sylvia described it as, the story of your life’s spiritual journey. Her identification of my soul as an entity named Edward, and his subsequent, though sporadic telepathic entries in the early chapters leads to a surprising agreement: he will begin communicating with me on a regular basis to decipher the nature of what turns out to have been our life-long, shared spiritual journey. Even though this is primarily Edward’s and my story, there are portions of other people’s lives woven in as well … people who influenced our journey even as we did theirs. There will also be the obvious similarities to other people’s lives of the time, of course. Nevertheless, this is our story, no one else’s. As such, readers would do well to view what follows as a template for achieving communication with their own souls: by way of discovering and potentially relating their own uniquely crafted and complex, spiritually-blueprinted life journeys. Our tale also reveals the added presence of overseeing guides and angels in our life (even as they are in the majority of everyone else’s lives, as well). These powerful spiritual entities have been preassigned to assist each of us by our loving Creators as we go about our symbiotic (soul/human) terms of study in this challenging, but extremely vital and magnificent, earthly school.

JESUS IS RUMORED TO HAVE SAID,

IF YOU BRING FORTH WHAT IS WITHIN YOU, WHAT YOU BRING FORTH WILL SAVE YOU. IF YOU DON’T BRING FORTH WHAT IS WITHIN YOU, WHAT YOU DON’T BRING FORTH WILL DESTROY YOU.

{Tuesday, March 9, 2010. 9:45 a.m.}

THE PHONE rings. When I pick up the receiver, Sylvia Browne, the renowned American psychic, whose numerous metaphysical books I have read and been spiritually-tempered by for several years, inquires in her well-traveled, gravelly voice, Hello, Jerry? The reading I have long been anticipating has begun. Revealing during the next thirty minutes the name of my soul, Edward; the names of my two primary spirit guides, Nazeen and Solomon; the number (6) and phylum of angels contracted to watch over Edward and me during this lifetime; and a close approximation of the years we have left to live. This is Edward’s last required reincarnation on earth, according to Sylvia; having previously merged before with forty-eight other humans throughout history. She states the major Life Theme, Humanitarianism, and minor Life Theme, Healing, as well as a third Life Theme, Experiencer, he has incarnated in me to pursue during our life’s journey. Later adding that Edward has also carried over an important spiritual talent from several of his latter incarnations. One she claims he and I will soon be employing to help other people: You have the ability to heal people through a laying on of hands.

I explain I’ve attempted to heal people in such a manner before, to little effect.

Because you’ve lacked faith, she quickly counters. No, but you were a well-known healer using your hands in several of your most recent past lives. And you will be using that skill again soon in the future.

The conversation proceeds, with Sylvia psychically reading several of my physical issues, including a chronically sore back and frequently strained neck muscles. I suggest these probably stem from the physical stress of my current job as a city bus driver.

At least it’s work which gives me plenty of opportunity to help people, I add, referring to the numerous times I’ve counseled passengers while transporting them to their destinations.

After a long moment of silence, Sylvia suddenly interjects, You’re going to write a book! Then you won’t have to suffer driving those buses any longer. (Her psychic son, Chris, had made a similar prediction during the reading he gave me nine months earlier, identifying the proposed effort as a, holistic book: part teaching, part healing, part nutrition. I hadn’t been able to come up with any prior training in the field of nutrition, though, so I’d put his suggestion on hold. Sylvia, however, would reframe the prediction with greater precision, leaving me to face a decidedly personal assignment.)

You’re going to be doing some writing, she repeats. And you’re going to get into holistic work. You know, the practice of Healing, she amends, because you are a natural healer.

Ah, good … how do you see that happening?

It involves the laying on of hands, she explains. It’s sort of like the Grandma Moses Syndrome. She didn’t know she could paint until she picked up a brush in her sixties—then she started painting everything in sight!

… The writing, though, what’s that about?

It will be about your life: about the spiritual journey you’ve been on, Sylvia responds without missing a beat; answering so spontaneously I know I’m not going to be able to escape the writing assignment this time.

"And you are a Mission-life entity," she inserts emphatically, moving on without further pause.

I’m one of the Mission-life entities?

[Mission-life entities start out—not necessarily spiritually at first, but they always move into that area—wanting to help people; and they come in with knowledge about God, goodness, the Other Side, or just saving humanity in general.] Exploring the Levels of Creativity by Sylvia Browne P. 122

Oh, absolutely! And this is your last life. You’ve had forty-eight past lives, but this is your last one.

Forty-eight!? I respond, amazed at what appears to be a daunting number of lifetimes.

Uh huh. But this will be your last one, so you’re not going to be coming back down here anymore, thank God!

Yes, good, I respond, laughing along with her. (Although I’m not actually all that overjoyed at the prospect of never seeing the earth again.)

I don’t want to come down here anymore either, she adds disgustedly. I’ve had enough!

What’s this ‘Mission Life’ designation, Sylvia? I’ve read about it in one of your books, but I can’t recall the details now?

"‘Mission,’ means you came down here for a direct purpose. And the purpose for you was to expand your spirituality. It’s ironic how you mentioned earlier about helping your bus passengers. Because the second half of your Mission is just that, to increase the spiritual knowledge of as many people as possible. Which is what you’re already obviously doing. But if you did it on a larger scale, you understand—not just what myself and others have taught (in their books and tapes)—you’ll get your own take on things. Do you see what I mean?

Besides, you have the necessary background knowledge for this, because you’ve been a Gnostic in many lives: during the time of Christ, for example; and during the time of the Templars, the Crusades—

I’ve had lives in all those historic eras? I interrupt, fascinated by the exotic nature of this information, yet frustrated by the speed and brevity it’s being offered. If our time hadn’t been evaporating so maddeningly, I would have asked Sylvia to unpack my soul’s incarnations in each of those fascinating time periods. But we have little more than fifteen minutes left in the phone call—with far too much to uncover about my present life to afford such complex sidebars.

So, it was only natural for you to fall into that habit, (of sharing spiritual information) she continues. "You will be writing the book to help others learn, then, as well as practicing holistic healing with your hands.

In fact, she pauses thoughtfully, someone will be approaching you close to two years from now. They will ask you to join their organization, as a healer. So that’s all the longer you have to drive, two more years, that’s enough!

I agree, although I’m upset with her prognosis of having two more years to drive!

I’ve often asked God to lead me to more meaningful work, Sylvia. After all, I have a B.A. in Psychology, and an M.A. in Educational Counseling—yet I’m spending my days driving buses!

Well, because you have such a long life … twenty-plus more years to live is still a long time, she suggests soothingly. That’s a lifetime for some people.

I suppose it is. Of course, the other side of that coin, then, is why am I living so much longer?

I—you know, I’ve often wondered why ‘last lifers’ live so long, Sylvia supplies hesitantly. And I’ve concluded we’re afraid we won’t get everything done. So, we chart a long stay for our last go-around. Many of us choose the theme of ‘Experiencer’ for our last life; which has us sampling multiple outlets for our energies, rather than, say, selecting just one occupation, for example …

And you have six angels around you, she says, moving on.

Six angels?

Uh huh, and you’re a Humanitarian. And why I said you were a healer, she chuckles, "is because your secondary theme is Healer." (This means Humanitarianism is my soul’s primary theme, making it comparable to a person’s ‘major’ in college. With Healer being my souls ‘minor’ course of study).

Okay …

It’s not easy digesting such concepts in the short punches she’s delivering them. How often do we get told we have six angels watching over us? Or have the primary Life Themes revealed that our soul incarnated in us to work on studying and perfecting. In other words, the very goals and direction of our human existence!

So, whether you use words or a laying on of the hands, you heal, Sylvia continues, seemingly unaware of the disturbance her words are creating within me.

That’s great … it feels like I’ve spent so much of my life trying to figure out what my purpose for living was … and now you’ve just given it to me. Amazing!

(SIDE ONE OF THE TWENTY-FIVE MINUTE TAPE COMES TO AN ABRUPT END; LEAVING IT TO THE SECOND HALF OF THE READING BEFORE I REMEMBER TO INQUIRE ABOUT MY SOUL.)

My guides—what can you tell me about them? I question, nervously aware of the passing time. I mean who’s the spirit within me? Who’s my soul? Do you have a name for him—or her—or it?

Edward, she responds unhesitatingly.

Edward? I echo, disappointed at such a normal, everyday name.

Uh-huh, that’s what you go by on the other side …

(Sylvia has just provided me with my soul’s name. Little did I imagine then, or for some time afterwards, that I would soon be entering into a period of telepathic communication with him. Conversations which would allow me to unravel many of the reasons he chose to incarnate in me and embark upon this complex path of our intimately shared journey.

[THE REMAINDER OF SYLVIA’S PHONE READING FOR ME CAN BE FOUND IN APPENDIX A AT THE END OF THE BOOK.]

{An hour later}

My thirty-minute conversation with the world-renowned Psychic, and spiritual author, Sylvia Browne has ended. I have finally put my money where my deepest passion resides, on the quest for answers to the very meaning of my existence.

Sylvia’s reading followed the basic format of a similar psychic phone reading her son, Chris Dufresne provided me nine months earlier. Both readings had been offered at a reduced fee to promote Chris’s psychic talents. Learning of the offer proved providential for me, as I’d recently decided to schedule a reading with Mrs. Browne, regardless of the cost or the time I had to wait.

When I called to sign up for the readings in late June of 2009, Michael McClellan, Sylvia and Chris’s secretary said he’d be able to schedule a reading for me with Chris on July 23, approximately a month away. An appointment with Sylvia will take substantially longer, he added, as she has a three-year waiting list. Which was exactly the sort of frustrating news I’d allowed to keep myself from scheduling a reading with Mrs. Browne in the past.

During my life I have often suffered from recurrent bouts of loneliness and societal isolation. Periods I’ve managed to survive by turning to food, frequently temporary sensual relationships, multiple jobs, geographic relocation, and various forms of entertainment (primarily humanly engaging novels and movies). The problem, though, was that while these outlets momentarily sedated my unhappiness, they were incapable of exposing, and thereby freeing me from, the hidden causes of that disenfranchisement.

Some twenty-four years ago, however, I miraculously discovered the metaphysical realm. A world I’ve since come to believe contains many of the explanations for our human gifts and talents … as well as for our all-too-familiar dilemmas and travails. My decision to schedule a reading with Sylvia (and with Chris, in this instance) represented a deeper foray into that metaphysical landscape for answers to the above issues. I would also be seeking information about my partner, Andrea’s, physical well-being, her sources of spiritual guardianship, and some idea of her life expectancy. Most of this knowledge will be for my own benefit, though. Since she places the majority of her bets on what appear to her to be the more tangible solutions of our materialistic world.

Andrea is an intelligent, retired, Unitarian Universalist Minister, Emerita; as well as being a professed Agnostic. No one has ever been able to prove the existence of (a ‘male’) God to me, she once asserted in one of our metaphysical debates. Therefore, I choose not to believe in ‘him’ either. That being said, she does revere the Feminine Goddess aspect of spirituality. Which I do as well, honoring both Father God, Om, and Mother God, Azna: the dual masculine/feminine aspects of our Creators (according to what Mrs. Browne and her Spirit Guide, Francine, have written—and what I intuitively feel to be true as well.)

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CHAPTER 1

EXAMINING THE READINGS

I COME from a family of five. Dave and Maxine, my father and mother, are both deceased, as is Nick, my younger brother by two years. This leaves Pat, my three-years-older brother, and myself as the sole surviving members of our original family. Pat lives in New York State, though, and has for the past forty years. So only my partner, Andrea, and I still reside here in my family hometown of Greeley, Colorado; the two of us in a relationship we’ve been enjoying for better than fifteen years. The fascinating news on that front is Mrs. Browne’s assertion that Andrea and I have also been simultaneously hosting two incarnating souls throughout the length of our relationship: Edward, and ? (In the hurried pace of our phone exchange, I forgot to ask what Andrea’s soul’s name was.)

According to Mrs. Brown and Francine, souls enter each of us with intricate charts to adhere to during the course of our lives. These are incredibly complex blueprints of how our human behavior is to be spiritually employed in their and Father God’s service. Francine elaborates this dual purpose in Sylvia’s book, Soul’s Perfection:

[We (souls) decide to incarnate, we pick our life’s chart, and we decide to perfect our soul, but not only for ourselves—two-thirds of our existence is given over for the experiencing of God.] P. 1 (This allows Father God, who is pure intellect to experience literally countless billions of acts of pure physical/emotional experience through us, His ensouled creations, as we go about our earthly lives.)

But there’s an unbelievable plot twist to the actual employment of these intricately designed life charts, with Francine stating that souls experience close to total amnesia before they enter the physical earth plane. What little memory they retain is highly specialized and is primarily used to perform the most intricate fusing of their essence with the fetal brain of their intended host in its mother’s womb. This results in us being born with a soul whose memories of past incarnations, his or her periods of time in between incarnations on the Other Side, and the blueprint it has just labored so long and judiciously to develop with Master Spirit advisors on the Other Side, either completely blanketed, or rapidly becoming so, as each new day unfolds. The upshot of this is an ensouled human being: one of us, striving to get along as best she or he can in this all too frequently erratic and challenging, materialistic world.

• • •

Only a couple of hours remain before I have to head to work this morning. But I’d like to review part of the other day’s phone reading first. Mrs. Browne said I have two guides, Nazeen, a female, and Solomon, a male. She has explained in her books Guides are usually spiritual entities who have known the soul (Edward, in our case) well on the Other Side, prior to the soul incarnating into human form. This friendship provides the incentive for them to accompany, as well as watch out for and help direct, the soul throughout its human sojourn on earth.

I find the news that I have the female guide, Nazeen, somewhat embarrassing. As it brings up unpleasant memories of women I became involved with during the early years of my life as a sensually addicted man. Although I did choose some of those women with the far healthier goal of establishing longer, monogamous relationships. Yet as the addictive drive increased its hold on me, I found myself turning towards other, similarly wounded (also psychologically altered) sexual women. The redemptive news on that front is I haven’t engaged in those activities for going on twenty years now. I partly attribute the mastering of that addiction to being exclusively with Andrea for the past fifteen years. But I feel the major credit for my recovery goes to the metaphysical knowledge I’ve accumulated during these past two decades, concerning us all being the cherished offspring of a loving Divinity. In other words, ensouled members of the same spiritual family. Who would do better to work at loving and supporting one another, rather than meting out the abuse and misery we so frequently observe poisoning our troubled planet.

It was a unique pleasure to gain your psychic insights about several of the confusing issues in my life, Sylvia and Chris. I was especially thrilled to have your undivided attention, Sylvia, after having been spiritually mentored by your phenomenally enlightening books for the past several years. You claimed in the reading Edward has lived forty-eight lives prior to incarnating in my being. According to the information about incarnation in several of your books, he would only have entered me in my mother’s womb following an intense period of preparation on the Other Side. Apparently, souls spend lengthy amounts of time—what can actually be numerous earth years—on the Other Side (Heaven) with Master Counselors and Guides, planning their incarnations. This enables a soul to come in with a thoroughly detailed life chart. Leaving as little to chance as possible in the entity’s blueprint for its residency in their pre-selected, human host.

Nevertheless, I was upset with you, Sylvia, when I attempted to claim my separate identity during the reading as Jerry Mangan, the human half of Edward’s and my relationship. Only to have you cavalierly retort that I was simply Edward’s car. The idea that I was nothing more than a convenient means of transportation for some alien (albeit spiritual) entity seemed to denigrate my entire existence as Jerry.

I can certainly understand and accept how Edward and the souls who chose to incarnate in the other members of my family may have spent major amounts of time on the Other Side preparing for their roles. But it’s equally clear to me that neither I, nor any of my family, were with those souls while they were undergoing those extensive preparations. To my way of thinking, that particular collaboration had to have begun here on earth, following their merger with our prenatal minds. Where it would have been a gradual process even then, occurring over the course of our lives together. Progressing as all enduring relationships do, over time, and as the result of multiple shared experiences.

I will discover several years later, in 2017, a possible answer to this dilemma in Garnet Schulhauser’s excellent books, Dancing on a Stamp, and Dancing Forever in Spirit. According to Albert, Garnet’s spirit guide, incarnated souls can leave their physical bodies at night during sleep to travel to the Other Side. This provides them (say my Mom and Dad’s souls, for example) the opportunity to join in planning sessions for other members of their human family—sons, in my brother’s and my case. As well as allowing them to assist the souls of these new offspring to choose the pivotally important people they will be needing to become involved with throughout their life—in order to adhere to their life’s scripted blueprints. Albert adds that all memory of these nocturnal visits and planning sessions to the Other Side disappears when the host human wakes in the morning.

I am reminded of a parent who has to work night shifts, while their family remains slumbering peacefully away at home. Who leaves their darkened domicile knowing they will return in the early a.m. hours—often before younger members of their family even realize they’ve been gone.

• • •

My mind started dwelling on the writing assignment Sylvia has settled on my shoulders as soon as I woke this morning. The idea comes to review the reading Chris gave me nine months earlier for possible clues. I know both psychics predicted Andrea and I would live for close to twenty more years. News Andrea responded to when I told her several days later with the acerbic rejoinder, Too bad they didn’t say whether we’d be in good health or not! Come to think of it, my reaction when Chris first said I was going to last into my late-eighties, to early-nineties, was an instantaneously chagrined response of, That much longer!

Well, hey, Jerry, I didn’t write your chart! he’d retorted somewhat huffily. I’m just your psychic who is reading it for you.

The subject of age caused me to inquire about Andrea’s longevity.

I don’t think that she has a life span like you do, Chris explains. Which means I do believe you’re going to surpass—that you’re going to outlive her. But I don’t feel she’s going to be leaving any time soon. I feel she thinks she will be, though. (Chris didn’t know Andrea was seven years older than I am.)

She’s a worrier, he continues, "and with her constantly analyzing mind, she doesn’t have much luck relaxing. But I think her love for you is very genuine, I think she’s got a good heart, I think she’s a light entity, and I think she’s a good soul. But—and forgive me—once again I mean no disrespect, I think she’s really stubborn.

"And because of that, that’s the way things are … which is okay. I think this attitude has allowed her to achieve the level of success she’s gotten to in this life. Also, some people don’t like to think anything positive about Heaven—only to possibly get over there and find it’s not the way they’d imagined it.

But I think she’s going to believe the way she wants to, and rightly so. That’s fine for her. When she does pass, I can tell you she’s going to make the transition from this life to Heaven without a peep! I don’t think we have anything to worry about in regard to that.

What colors do our souls evince when they’re residing on the Other Side in between incarnations? I ask, stimulated by his comments on Heaven.

Chris answers me immediately, "Yours are purple and yellow … hers are purple and white. So, they’re very good, pure colors.

(I will read later in Pamala Oslie’s book, Life Colors, that purple/yellow-white color combinations indicate creative visionaries, inspirational teachers, or powerful healers: people who want to heal others, to inspire humanity, or to protect the environment. News which helps me feel easier about the daunting task of actually authoring a book.)

"Honest to goodness! You are more someone who just wants to make sure you’re on the right track, that there are no big detours you’re taking, and you’re completing what you came down here to do. But realistically, in all honesty, you don’t need a psychic. Your health is good; your longevity is there. You’re in your last life. The two of you are staying together. There’s no financial upheaval here; the money and finances are good. They’ll be better in 2010. Reason? It’s very simple: there’s not going to be as much money going out, which is going to translate into savings for you. There is no large lottery, publisher’s clearing-house, or sweepstakes—I know you don’t expect that; I’m just being thorough. And there’s no major crisis with health or anything like that. There are no dark or gray entities around you that you are unaware of. And there’s no karma or negative cell memories that you pulled in from any of your past lives.

So, if I look at all that in a nutshell, Jerry, I’d say you’ve got a good, long, healthy life. True, it’s been a difficult one. But if you examine your life from birth until now, it was much harder and a great deal more painful. However, looking from now until the time you’re going to pass—which will be in your late eighties, or early-to-mid-nineties—you’ve got it much easier; it’s going to be a much better life.

It was impressive hearing Chris make these pronouncements with little more than a moment’s hesitation between a couple of them. The words just seemed to flow from him, without any sign of conjecture or preconceived, mental preamble.

[THE REMAINDER OF CHRIS’S READING FOR ME CAN BE FOUND IN APPENDIX B AT THE END OF THE BOOK]

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CHAPTER 2

EDWARD MAKES AN APPEARANCE

{Saturday, March 13, 2010. FOUR DAYS SINCE MY MARCH 9, 2010 PHONE READING WITH MRS. BROWNE. AND NINE MONTHS AFTER MY PREVIOUS PHONE SESSION WITH HER PSYCHICALLY ENDOWED SON, CHRIS DUFRESNE, ON JULY 23, 2009.}

IT HAS been several days since my conversation with Mrs. Browne, and I find myself reviewing the spiritual quest I’ve been on for the past quarter of a century. A search which included reading numerous books on reincarnation, near death experiences, life in between lives (in between actual physical lives), and existence in Heaven, (or on the Other Side, as I’ve come to know it through many of Mrs. Browne’s books). I’ve also paid for two other, four-year-apart, half hour phone readings with Judy Fuson, an intelligent, highly skilled New Mexico psychic. The first of these occurred three years prior to my learning about Sylvia Browne and discovering her many, spiritually informative books. I felt Ms. Fuson’s readings provided interesting material concerning some of the possible reasons behind my actions and behavior. Yet I was ill-prepared to apply the information at the time. Partly due to my basically skeptical, Catholic-educated personality and a still somewhat relatively uninformed understanding of the deeper complexities of the metaphysical world.

My brother Pat called last night to tell me he is experiencing more aggressive signs of prostate inflammation. First Mom needed years of medical attention and care; now Pat may too. With Andrea and her life-altering, Essential Tremor condition, sandwiched in-between. Sometimes I wonder if our lives will ever be free of medical concerns again. At least Mom no longer needs me, having passed to the Other Side last August, four months after her ninety-eighth birthday. The most welcome news on these medical fronts, however, comes from Mrs. Browne’s assurance that we have members of the spirit world who have specifically contracted to watch over, and advocate for each one of us, throughout the length of our lives. This helps at least ease a portion of the burden of worry and responsibility I feel for my loved ones when they become ill.

Francine has also revealed that our assigned spirit guides can importune Mother God, Azna, to alter our scripted charts. Entreating her, for example, to diminish severe pain, or even shorten the length of a particularly difficult illness.

[There is a Mother God, Azna, who is the female, emotional aspect of the deity, just as the Father God is the male, intellectual aspect … the truth is, Mother God, Azna, and Father God (Om) make up the Godhead together.] Life on the Other Side by Sylvia Browne and Lindsay Harrison P. 41

[For those who have not read any of my other books, it bears mentioning here all religions, including Christianity, have featured female counterparts to the male deities. It’s almost ridiculous to believe that God only has a male side … In our Gnostic church, we call Her Azna, which is the ancient Gnostic name for Mother God.] Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne P. 86

Mrs. Browne says the book I’m to create will become a main avenue of healing and instruction, reaching far greater numbers of people than I’m currently helping on a one-to-one basis in my bus driving capacity. I was originally dismayed at the daunting prospect of writing a book. But later had the powerful realization this was what my fifteen years of spiritual research had been preparing me for all along. Followed by the sobering thought that I might never be at peace with myself again if I failed to accept this challenging assignment.

Sylvia described Edward as a Mission Life entity. A being who has incarnated in me to further his spiritual awareness, and to share that knowledge with as many others as possible. Edward and I also have the two primary guides, Nazeen and Solomon, to provide us with spiritual guidance and direction. Plus, six designated angels to watch over, and protect us, as we go about our studies: two Principalities, two Thrones, and two Archangels. Sylvia added that the Archangels were specifically assigned to help us develop our healing abilities.

[Principalities belong to Father God’s army (of angels). This highest phylum is described as having great powers and being close to the throne of God. They reflect Om, the Father God, in the sense of sustaining protective energy in which other angels can go about their business at hand … All religions seem to agree that the higher the phylum, the more grace and power it comes with, to give us particular solace in whatever area we need.

Thrones (part of Mother God’s force of angels) emanate the quality of protecting us as her children. They are constantly active in fighting against negative energy and entities. Thrones are very powerful, and no darkness can stand against them.] Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne Pp. 158-162

[Archangels are the embodiment of God’s love. They’re here because God knows it’s important for us to be surrounded by these celestial messengers. Not only do Archangels carry messages, they are also instruments of healing. Archangels carry what Francine describes as a baton or scepter of healing. When someone is in a bad situation and requests their help, the Archangels pick up their beautiful green batons from the almost crystal-like water (on the Other Side) and carry them straight to that person. They touch the person with the baton right in the heart chakra. When the person is touched there the whole baton turns dark, absorbing the illness or negativity … If the baton doesn’t turn dark, that means there’s nothing the archangel can do. The person’s (blueprinted) chart has overridden his or her request. Sometimes a person can’t be, or is simply resistant to being healed, maybe on a subconscious level. We certainly shouldn’t feel bad if we can’t facilitate a healing for someone, because their own will, or their chart, can at times override our desires.] IBID Pp. 84-85

I don’t have much of a working connection with these six angels yet. But I feel happier just knowing they are with us—and have been since the beginning of Edward’s and my life together. The concept of their pre-assigned presence serves as yet another reminder to me of our loving Creator’s concerns for their incarnating souls and chosen human hosts.

{Thursday, March 25, 2010}

Something strange happened to me this morning. Instead of creating my own ideas, as I’ve been doing all along, I found myself working with what felt like another entity. One who filled my mind with its own thoughts (like an employer dictating a letter to their secretary). Portions of what follows came from that source. I supplied other sections in the process of typing the material out, by way of illustrative or literary adjustment. What I heard will be in italics. My input will be in regular (bracketed) type.

"I feel so much love bubbling inside of me—love of life, of pure existence. To be here in human form again, moving through my current incarnation as Jerry, (in relationship) with Andrea, is remarkable! With us (Jerry and me) driving these big, amazingly fun buses throughout this remarkable town. While beautiful mountains stretch across the horizon for all to admire.

"And these lively bus passengers we get to relate to! What spectacles they are (to behold); everyone performing their own (spiritually blueprinted) productions. Such a circus! With the two of us in (the very thick of) it—marvelous!

("For a moment there) when Jerry was too exhausted to begin writing this morning, I lost my way, too. Having forgotten the love and grace that serves as an ever-present lifeline from the Creators to us. Energy we are immersed in as their cherished offspring: as souls who have contracted to incarnate on this gorgeous, but exceedingly challenging planet.

"Disappointingly, (enough, though) I’m beginning to fade, now; (reverting) back to the status of my tired, sixty-six-year-old host Jerry, who needs to restore his energies (by turning out the lights and closing his eyes in sleep) …"

I may have just heard from Edward. But is that possible? It certainly felt like many of the sentiments being expressed were coming from someone other than myself. Especially the paragraphs about these big, amazingly fun buses, and, our lively bus passengers. Those were definitely not sentiments I would have framed in such a joyous, actually appreciative manner. Not as weary as I am of the endless bus routes and my all too frequently frustrating passengers.

The other paragraph, concerning him losing his way this morning, also felt alien to my normal way of thinking and expressing myself. As I’ve mentioned above, however, there were portions which I consciously supplied myself in the process of typing my notes up afterwards: for what felt like needed additional clarification. The way people in long-term relationships often complete thoughts for their partner during a conversation. So, I don’t exactly know what to make of this material? What I am sure of, though, is I wrote down the italicized sections with no sense of having to create those ideas on my own.

It’s certainly exciting to think Edward and I might be able to communicate with one another. Although I’m afraid it could be complicated to tell the difference between his thoughts and my own if that should happen, which may be the real conundrum. It seems the only option I have at this point is to simply continue writing, in case he chooses to use a similar opportunity to the one he took today…

Mrs. Browne told me to start keeping a daily journal to describe my story. Chris, in his phone reading for me, suggested I carry a small, hand-held tape recorder to capture the spiritual nature of my daily thoughts. Both seemed sincerely intent on doing their best to help me write the predicted book. Sylvia even stated somewhat forcefully that I was being required by my (by Edward’s) theme of Healer, to use my spiritual knowledge and communication skills to help people reconnect to their divinity.

Well, isn’t that what metaphysical authors such as Mrs. Browne, Ram Das, Rosemary Altea, Drs. Wayne Dyer, Michael Newton, and Brian Weiss, and all the others I’ve been reading for the past two decades have been doing? Each of them striving to lighten the darkness of this world and free us from our cells of isolation and fear … in order that we may embrace life as the divinely partnered beings we truly are.

• • •

Alexis, a server I’ve come to know at one of the local restaurants I patronize, and I, met last night. We’d arranged to meet at Border’s Bookstore to discuss our mutual interest in spirituality. But at one point in our talk, she burst out in abject misery, I’m just so lost! The raw despair of her cry left me at a loss for words. Here was a vibrant, thirty-six-year-old woman, who was appreciated at work by her customers, co-workers, and managers alike. She was actively paying off an attractive condominium, drove a new Volkswagen convertible, and enjoyed, according to her own accounts, what sounded like a full social life. All of which gave her the outward appearance of being a satisfied member of her society … yet who was obviously terribly unhappy, despite those numerous blessings.

Because what I really want is a husband and some kids of my own to raise, she whispered hoarsely. "I keep taking up with the wrong guys; like the young guy I’m seeing now. I mean, what am I doing with him?! We have no future together. I’m only wasting more time. But I get so lonely doing things by myself, or with my other single girlfriends."

Brought up with traditional Christian values, Alexis has since become interested in the metaphysical world of spiritual readings and psychic healings. Sadly enough, this new philosophical exploration was currently causing her to lose faith in both camps. They seem so opposed to each other, Jerry. It’s making me feel sad about everything! I just don’t know where to turn anymore.

In an attempt to broaden her social and employment horizons, she’d been looking into joining our local Chamber of Commerce. Yet two minutes after revealing this, she told me she’d recently been talking on the phone with a girlfriend of hers in San Diego: about the plausibility of selling her home and moving there to begin all over again. With a new job (in time), a new circle of friends (again, in time), new living quarters, and perhaps a new chance to find the solutions which were so painfully eluding her here.

She was debating spending hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars, moving to another location, in order to continue searching outside herself for answers to the troubling questions of: Who am I? Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? And, Why am I alone; why can’t I find a partner and have the children I want?

Lost! The cry of her confusion still echoes within me as I sit here trying to decide whether that might have been an opening we could have used to explore Alexis’ dilemma. I wish