Recovering The Self: A Journal of Hope and Healing (Vol. IV, No. 2) -- New Beginnings

April 2012 | Vol. IV, No. 2

Recovering the Self

Recovering The Self: A Journal of Hope and Healing

Edited by Ernest Dempsey

Volume IV, Number 2 -- April 2012

ISSN: 1947-2773

ISBN-13: 978-1-61599-161-7

Copyright © 2012 Loving Healing Press, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Cover photo by Eleanor L. Bennett. Used with permission.

Join us online at www.RecoveringSelf.com

Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting. Inclusion in Recovering The Self is neither an endorsement nor a confirmation of claims presented within. Sole responsibility lies with individual contributors, not the editor, staff, or management of Recovering The Self Journal.

Published by Loving Healing Press

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www.LovingHealing.com

Distributed by Ingram Book Group in USA and Canada, Bertram’s Books in the UK, Hachette Livre (France and EU), Agapea (Spain), and Angus & Robertson in Australia.

To order your subscription: please visit www.RecoveringSelf.com/subscribe

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To write for RTS: please visit http://www.recoveringself.com/about/write-for-us

Editor-in-Chief: Ernest Dempsey

Publisher: Victor R. Volkman

Typesetting/Design: Vince Sobotka

Advertising Sales Director: Vince Sobotka vsobotka@gmail.com

Table of Contents

Editorial

… from the Editor’s Desk by Ernest Dempsey

About the Artist

Interview with Eleanor Leonne Bennett

Inspiration

New Beginnings by Barbara Sinor

Second Chances: An Unexpected New Beginning by Trisha Faye

Emergence

Taking the Opportunity by Ken La Salle

An Orchid and a Lily by Martha M. Carey

Hoping for Dreams by Bonnie Spence

Emerging from Postpartum Anxiety by Jenny Ekern

Interpersonal

Forgiveness Is Not A One-Time Act by Rosana Brasil

RTS Feature

As I Choose to See It by Debra Kelly

Memoir

The Woman Who Couldn’t Stop Screaming by Dinah Dietrich

The Blue Dots by Nancy-Gail Burns

How I Became a Narcissist by Sam Vaknin, PhD

Reclaiming Myself: A College Student’s Three-Week Stay in a Psychiatric Ward by Marissa Nielsen

Family

Starting Over by Kat Fasano-Nicotera

Travel

It’s Cool to be a Hindu by Sweta Srivastava Vikram

Transformation

Take Pride, Not Sorrow by Sarah Jane Conteh

Conversation with a Prisoner by Candide Massocki

Healing

Opening the Heart: Finding My Way through Domestic Abuse by Kristin L. Werner

Nature and Nurture

Living Trees by Holli Kenley

Poetry

On the Fringes by Patricia Wellingham-Jones

Ada by Michelle Mercurio

Pebbles by Michelle Mercurio

Vacation by Steve Sonntag

Humor

Baby Bummer by Talya Jankovits

Language and Culture

Love Me Forever, But Not Like That by Telaina Eriksen

Fit Being

Girls With Sole by Liz Ferro

RTS Talk

Out of the Darkness – Steve Taylor on Awakening and Spiritual Transformation by Ernest Dempsey

Excerpts

The Currents of Timelessness by James John Magner

At the Threshold: Pause Before China by Marianne T. Campagna

The Insanity of the Ego by Lee A. Eide

Books

Made by Hand: Searching for Meaning in a Throw Away World

Peace Like A River

Left Neglect

Remembering Smell

Movies

The Girl in the Park

The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep

The Blue Butterfly

As It Is in Heaven

A Passing Thought

Sweet Reality by Michelle Carmela Saldana

Call for Submissions by Victor R. Volkman

… from the Editor’s Desk

Ernest Dempsey

Spring Greetings Everybody!

Our April 2012 Issue is here, hoping to finds all of you living life in the best spirit of hope and healing.

The theme New Beginnings, as expected, received many great submissions that told personal stories of life experiences and stages after which came a new start to life, a new angle to look at its value, and new understanding and appreciation of its meaning. The subject is, without question, a personal one and so are most of the stories in this issue. What changed the personal and how a new beginning knocked on the door of life varies from person to person—from author to author. I, as a reader, was inspired by each writing published herein; people power literally coming to life in these words. These are wonderful words, shared by wonderful people. With such resilience, one simply can’t go without Recovering the Self.

This issue is also special in other ways. Our regular contributor to RTS blog Ken La Salle shares his fulfilling writing journey, a dream coming true. Holli Kenley’s soul-touching story Living Trees (which will be part of her next book) brought the journal a new category Nature and Nurture—thank you Holli! Debra Kelly’s As I Choose to See It says it all in the very title. A number of inspiring new voices are also heard this time: Talya Jankovits, Liz Ferro, Sarah Jane Conteh, and others. Special thanks to British psychologist Steve Taylor for sharing his thoughts (in RTS Talk) over spiritual transformation—the topic he explores so fully in his must-read book Out of the Darkness. And our regular contributors are all sparkling as always. How can I resist saying it gets more and more special each passing quarter!

On a related note, we asked for your opinion on whether to put RTS entirely in electronic format or continue with the print format, we received some responses—all expressing choosing print over electronic version. Friends of one of our contributors wrote that RTS is touching lives and are inspired with the print editions while they may not have access to electronic versions. They are also using any available copy for reading in groups to inspire and heal—something that may not be possible with an e-zine. Another of our valued writers shares that she can’t read long pieces online and having a print copy is the best thing to her. And it’s surely true for many others as well.

So, while switching to e-format may cut costs and save time spent in preparing the print layout, we will be continuing with the print version for the time being. Nothing precedes touching lives positively. Let’s celebrate spring with New Beginnings!

In healing spirit,

Ernest Dempsey

editor@recoveringself.com

March 26, 2012

About the Artist

An Interview with Eleanor Leonne Bennett

The brilliant young photographer Eleanor Leonne Bennett has achieved a impressive lot of recognition at the age of 15. Based in Manchester, United Kingdom, Eleanor is also a fan of Oscar Wilde and martial arts. More below in her own words:

RTS: Eleanor, you indeed are a gifted photographer at a young age. Is this passion for photography your twin sister?

Eleanor: I’ve always been drawn to art and design. From before I can remember I’ve always had some project, albeit most of them were a mess. I’d do things like rip apart TV remotes and old radios with a rock from the garden to construct a model town from modeling clay, circuit boards, and wires. I’ve wanted to have a job as an artist since about age 7. I really used to want to work for Aardman animations; I still love animation a lot. I’m fascinated by how anything strange can become true—in my photographs, I like to distort reality. There are so many great things to capture. It would be easy to go six months without getting a great photo because for me, I’m somewhat fussy. My favorite shot recently is one of a woman with her foot through the bottom of a rotted-out car. My favorite photo of 2011 is one of an earwig with half its body trapped inside a padlock.

RTS: What is it in a scene that makes your hand grope for the camera?

Eleanor: A good strong texture or unusual setting. I’m almost always drawn to take an image even if the setting is dull as long as the subject touches my heart. If a friend is ill, I normally take a few shots on impulse to just record the memory.

RTS: You shoot in both color and black & white. What is the specific appeal of the black and white, specifically for print or electronic media?

Eleanor: I want to shoot the majority of my work in black and white so that I can reach everyone. Often the magazines that publish my work only accept black and white to reduce printing costs. I try these days to do a front cover in color and then my interior work in black and white. I like having creative control and becoming the featured artist.

RTS: Do you also do photo editing?

Eleanor: I know my style and what I’m aiming for. I like a strong contrast and a texture that intrigues. Many of my pictures will be forever hidden as I know what I want people to see of my personality and abilities.

RTS: What are some of your favorite sites or occasions which you like never to miss?

Eleanor: I love nature photography so much, but I don’t just want to be another macro photographer. I know I can’t spend all my savings because I just can’t afford the top equipment to compete with the best. Still having that passion though, I will do wildlife photography in unusual settings. I get the most rewards from thinking outside of the box; this is why I have branched out into contemporary art. I have more freedom to roam.

RTS: And what are some of your other interests besides photography?

Eleanor: I love good music of all genres and great comedy. I like to read Oscar Wilde; in fact I enjoy reading a lot. I used to read every single Jacqueline Wilson and Roald Dahl book that was available at my library. I miss reading as concentrating on photography has divided my attentions. I like to kickbox and practice karate. I also like to find ways I can include my art in a good event; say, for environmental causes etc. If the cause is good enough, that is the sort of thing I’ll nearly always do for free. I am a member of the Woodland Trust and the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds.

RTS: Are you available for working online for clients?

Eleanor: I am very interested in doing cover art for all published mediums (books, albums, magazines, and public art) and for the moment, my prices are very modest. I am very attracted to work with upcoming musicians. Pop, rock , hip hop and folk—anything in good taste really. I like Gorillaz a lot; so if you work is inspired by them, we are probably thinking on the same page. My direct email is Eleanor.ellieonline@gmail.com. I’m also interested in upcoming art magazines; I welcome being featured and I am really very grateful to the people who have granted me some great opportunities over the past two years.

To see samples of Eleanor Leonne Bennett’s work, visit her website http://eleanorleonnebennett.zenfolio.com/.

New Beginnings

Barbara Sinor

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. ~ Charles Dickens

Who has experienced a traumatic event in their life? Who has experienced the loss of a loved one? Who is experiencing the beginning of a new relationship? Or, a new job? We all know that new beginnings can happen in an instant. By giving ourselves permission to begin a new day, a new path, a new way of thinking we can choose to begin again. We experience new beginnings many times in our lives. Take a moment to look at your own life, your past experiences. Think about the new ways in which you have needed to begin again many times throughout your life.

New beginnings can happen when you:

Begin a new job or career

A new diet or exercise program

A new relationship

A new kind of worship or meditation practice

A new school or educational training

Welcome a new pet into your family

Welcome a new baby

Experience the death of a loved one

Are challenged with a new health issue, or

Have recently been married, separated, or divorced

Each time we journey on a new path to experience a new beginning, it is important to consciously allow ourselves to review, process our emotions--especially forgiveness--and learn to accept our new path. Before we move toward a new beginning, it is also important to learn the Lessons from our past experience. One way to do this is to ask ourselves questions such as:

What do I know now that I did not know before this experience?

Why was it important for me to learn this truth or lesson?

Do I need to forgive others or myself before I move forward?

How have my emotions changed since this event?

After an emotional experience such as any one of those I mentioned above, there will be a time for you to bring your life forward, and to be visible on your present stage of life. Choose options that uplift and inspire you, and whenever possible, engage in positive thinking. It may also be time for a health makeover, a change in environment, or a renewal to your outlook on life. Remember, new beginnings require us to plant new seeds for our future; so make sure those seeds contain all the ingredients to reflect what you desire for your present and future life.

Lessons in Moving Forward

Numerologist Christine DeLorey states: Stop holding your past at arm’s length as if you are afraid that it will catch up with you. It’s meant to! Let it! The past is filled with knowledge and experience, and what it has to teach you needs to be accepted into the present. Only then will you be able to feel, sense, and create what you want. When renewal and new beginnings are at hand, we need to clarify what has worked for us and what has not, so we can choose only what takes us forward on our journey. As we allow winter to unfold and spring to shine upon us, we can identify the dead wood which can be removed from our life.

We all have the ability to make minor, or even major breakthroughs, any time we choose, now may be the right time for you. Use your freedom of choice to draw your new life to you. Here is a great affirmation you can use to claim this freedom of choice: Today, I make the choice to end a cycle or way of being that is not in alignment with my soul’s desire.

One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and we wish to change. We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make changes, and we may have even given up on a certain area in our life. However, each new day offers us the opportunity to renew our resolve and to declare to the universe that we are ready for change. Sometimes, we may say to ourselves that we have tried, we have struggled, and we still have not found a way to begin again after experiencing a shift in our life. If this is true for you, allow yourself to be open to support and guidance from the physically present loved ones around you, and also the non-physical masters, teachers, guides, and angels that are always with you. State your intention out loud in prayer or meditation; keep it positive and simple, such as: I am creating the changes I need at this time. Making this declaration to the Divine Universe, and to yourself, may be the remedy for any stagnation you may be experiencing.

Many times, it is difficult to understand, even with hindsight, how the choices we have made in the past have created our current situations. It is a good idea to examine the story we tell ourselves about how we arrived in our present situation. If we tend to regard ourselves as having failed at a task or situation, this will block our ability to allow ourselves to succeed. We have the power to change the story we tell ourselves by acknowledging that we have done our best.

With insight, information, and support, we can acknowledge that we have made our best decisions for our life in the past. We can remember the many positive moments on our path to this present moment. We can also recognize that we have learned from our experiences; this will help us determine what our current choices might be, and how to go about making them. When we do this kind of inner work of viewing our past, we make it possible for the future to be based on a positive self-assessment. This inner-shift may allow us to exit the cycle we have been on, which keeps us stuck in past behaviors or emotions.

Today, you can declare to be the day you will end negative habits, cycles, or patterns. You can declare this day that you will move forward from past emotional pain, anger, and guilt. Today, you can enter into a new way of being. Today, you can declare this day to begin searching for the Lessons of past experiences—learn from them, and move into the present!

A Personal Note

Many of you know that my son passed away a few years ago and my husband also made his transition last year. I have used these tools which I share with you to uncover my own new beginning. It has taken me about a year to realize how important they really have been. Right after my son’s passing, I unconsciously kept myself very busy. I was not ready for a new beginning without him. Not only did I need to take care of all his arrangements, paperwork, finances, and consoling our family, I chose to continue the absorbing work of writing a book I had started several months earlier. In hindsight, I realize how keeping myself occupied