Marriage Ministry: A complete guide

Marriage Ministry

© Paul Thomas 2017

First published in 2017 by the Canterbury Press Norwich

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Contents

Expanded Contents List

Preface

Marriage and the Liturgy

The History and Development of the Marriage Service in England from 1066 to the Present Day

The Bury St Edmunds Missal of 1125−35

The Sarum Marriage Service

The 1549 Book of Common Prayer Marriage Service

The 1662 Book of Common Prayer Marriage Service and Series One: The Form of Solemnization of Matrimony

Prayer Book/Series One Marriage Service with Holy Communion (Nuptial Mass)

Common Worship Marriage Service

Common Worship Marriage Service within a Celebration of Holy Communion (Nuptial Mass)

An Order for Prayer and Dedication after a Civil Marriage

Structure of a Service of Prayer and Dedication within a Celebration of the Holy Eucharist

Thanksgiving for Marriage

Marriage and the Law

The Basics: Who, What, When, Where, How?

Banns

Common Licence

Superintendent Registrar’s Certificate (SRC)

Special Licence (Archbishop’s Licence)

Divorce

Marriage Registers

Marriage Certificate

Marriage and Mission

Introduction

Promote your marriage ministry online

Sunday worship

Baptism and Confirmation

Christmas

Marriage Sunday

Engaged couples evening

Skills and talents

Social life

Keeping connected

Gift of children

Marriage Ministry Timeline

Website

First contact

Beginning to plan

Make expectations clear

Marriage Application Form

Wedding Information Booklet

What information should the booklet include?

Next steps

Pray with them

Regular meetings

Expanded Contents List

For the purposes of navigation, the following expanded contents list includes main text headings.

MARRIAGE AND THE LITURGY

The History and Development of the Marriage Service in England from 1066 to the Present Day

Medieval origins

‘Not contracted secretly’: marriage must be open and public

‘Bride and groom should fast and be blessed by a priest’: preparation is important

‘In a monastery’: the importance of the holy place

‘Diligent enquiry is to be made’: the community plays its part

The Bury St Edmunds Missal of 1125−35

Threefold structure

Rite of Betrothal

Nuptial Mass

Marriage Chamber

Continuities: then and now

Gathering

Consent in public and in English

Blessing of a ring and joining of hands

Readings, prayers and blessing

What elements are missing?

Why does the betrothal take place at the church door?

The Sarum Marriage Service

Threefold structure

At the Church Door

Declaration of Consent

The Vows

The Blessing and Giving of the Ring

Before the Altar

In the Home

The 1549 Book of Common Prayer Marriage Service

1549 Book of Common Prayer

‘In the body of the church’

‘Afore the altar’

The 1549 Marriage Service in detail

Legal Preliminaries

The Preface

The Declarations

The Vows

The Giving of the Ring

The Collect

The Proclamation

The Nuptial Blessing

The Prayers

The Lesson and Sermon

Holy Communion

Key liturgical changes in the Prayer Book marriage service from 1549 to 1662

The 1662 Book of Common Prayer Marriage Service and Series One: The Form of Solemnization of Matrimony

1662 Marriage Service

Series One: Solemnization of Matrimony

Series One: Marriage Service detail

Introduction

The Marriage

Declarations

1662 Declarations

Series One Declarations

‘Giving Away’

1662 Vows

Series One Vows

Wedding Ring

Giving the Wedding Ring

Collect, Proclamation and Nuptial Blessing

The Blessing of the Marriage

Psalms

Conclusion

Prayer Book/Series One Marriage Service with Holy Communion (Nuptial Mass)

1662/Series One Marriage Service

Holy Communion (as per the Prayer Book order)

Hymns and Readings

Alternative Order

Common Worship Marriage Service

The Introduction

The Marriage

Fourfold Shape of Common Worship Liturgies

Gathering

Liturgy of the Word

The Marriage

The Dismissal

Common Worship Marriage Service in detail

Gathering

The Preface

Alternative Preface

The Declarations

The Collect

The Liturgy of the Word

The Marriage

‘Giving Away’

The Vows

Alternative Vows

The Giving of Rings

Alternative Blessing of the Rings

The Proclamation

The Blessing of the Marriage (Nuptial Blessing)

Alternative Blessings

The Registration of the Marriage

The Prayers

Additional Prayers

The Dismissal

Alternative structure

The Introduction

The Marriage

Common Worship Marriage Service within a Celebration of Holy Communion (Nuptial Mass)

When would you have a Nuptial Mass?

Structure of a Nuptial Mass

Gathering

The Liturgy of the Word

The Marriage

The Liturgy of the Sacrament

The Dismissal

The Service in detail

Gathering

Prayers of Penitence

The Preface, Declarations and Collect

The Liturgy of the Word

The Marriage

An Order for Prayer and Dedication after a Civil Marriage

Structure of the Service

The Service in detail

Notes

Introduction

Preface

Prayers of Penitence

Collect

Readings

The Dedication

Prayers

Conclusion

Holy Communion

Structure of a Service of Prayer and Dedication within a celebration of the Holy Eucharist

The Gathering

The Liturgy of the Word

The Dedication

The Liturgy of the Sacrament

The Dismissal

Thanksgiving for Marriage

Structure of the Service

The Service in detail

Holy Communion

MARRIAGE AND THE LAW

Introduction

The Basics: Who, What, When, Where, How?

Who?

Who can conduct a wedding service?

Bishops and Priests can solemnize a marriage, but can a Deacon?

Can clergy of other Christian denominations be involved in the service?

Who can I marry?

Are there any exceptions to this rule?

Who can’t I marry?

What?

What marriage service should I use?

What if there is disagreement about the form of service?

What about an annulled marriage?

What is the youngest age a person can marry?

What about witnesses?

What about a person with a non-British passport?

What should I wear when officiating at a wedding?

What do I do if one of the parties to the marriage does not speak English or is deaf?

What do I do if one of the parties to the proposed marriage has acquired another gender?

When?

Date

Month

Time

Are any dates forbidden by the Church for weddings?

Where?

Are there ever any exceptions to this rule?

How?

Legal preliminaries

What is a Qualifying Connection?

Banns

What does ‘banns’ mean?

What are the rules and regulations concerning banns?

What do I say? How do I call banns?

What if someone objects?!

What are valid grounds for an objection?

What is ‘kindred and affinity’?

Once I have called the banns, what do I do next?

Is the calling of banns free of charge?

If I have a duty to call the banns for those who reside in my parish, how do I know they reside here? What does ‘reside’ mean?

In what situations is the calling of banns insufficient to give legal authority for a marriage to proceed?

Common Licence

What does a Common Licence actually say?

When is a Common Licence required?

If a Common Licence is needed, what do I do?

Is there a fee for a Common Licence?

What if one of the applicants for a Common Licence has been divorced and their former spouse is still living?

Superintendent Registrar’s Certificate (SRC)

What is a Superintendent Registrar’s Certificate?

Why would a SRC be needed for a church wedding?

How is a SRC obtained?

Special Licence (Archbishop’s Licence)

What is special about a Special Licence? What does it allow?

Who grants it?

In what circumstances would I need to be involved in the application for a special licence?

Divorce

How do I approach this subject?

What questions do I need to ask if I am to come to a clearer mind on this?

Do the applicants have a clear understanding of the meaning and purpose of marriage?

Do the applicants have a mature view of the circumstances of the breakdown of the previous marriage and are they ready to enter wholeheartedly and responsibly into a new relationship?

Has there been sufficient healing of the personal and social wounds of marriage breakdown?

Would the effects of the proposed marriage on individuals, the wider community and the Church be such as to undermine the credibility of the Church’s witness to marriage?

Would permitting the new marriage be tantamount to consecrating an old infidelity?

Has either of the parties been divorced more than once?

Do the applicants display a readiness to explore the significance of the Christian faith for their lives so that their further marriage is not an isolated contact with the Church?

Who else is involved in this decision?

PCC

Fellow clergy

Bishop

Divorce documents

Marriage Registers

Completing the entries

The heading

Errors

Marriage Certificate

Quarterly Return

MARRIAGE AND MISSION

Introduction

Promote your marriage ministry online

Sunday worship

Baptism and Confirmation

Christmas

Marriage Sunday

Engaged couples evening

Skills and talents

Social life

Keeping connected

Gift of children

MARRIAGE MINISTRY TIMELINE

Website

First contact

Beginning to plan

Make expectations clear

Marriage Application Form

Wedding Information Booklet

What information should the booklet include?

Next steps

Pray with them

Regular meetings

Preface

A priest is granted two privileges. The first is to stand in the sanctuary of the church and to lead and offer the prayers of God’s people, celebrating with and for them the sacraments of the New Covenant. The second is to stand in the sanctuary of people’s lives; that is, to be granted privileged access to the inmost thoughts, hopes, fear and joys of human persons. Both of these privileges − the liturgical and the pastoral ministry of the Church − are inseparable. Both demand equal care and reverence. Both serve the same purpose and yield the same fruit, the glory of God.

It is with this conviction that Marriage Ministry: The Essential Guide is written. It is first and foremost a book to give clarity and foster confidence. It is the first of its kind to harvest the various sources of information available, to sift and refine that information, to add wisdom and experience to it, and to present that body of knowledge in a comprehensive and comprehensible way. The intention of the book is to encourage, inspire and enrich the liturgical and pastoral practice of the clergy in their important task.

The Church of England’s life is expanded and deepened whenever her clergy serve with conviction and joy, with compassion, faithfulness and learning. There are few occasions when these qualities are called upon more than when we care for those seeking to be joined together in Holy Matrimony. A great deal is demanded of the clergy in this connection. We are required not only to be confident liturgical ministers, but faithful stewards of the Church’s teaching, attentive pastors of our people, competent administrators of the legal preliminaries, and ready evangelists for the Gospel. We are to be adept at moving between these different ministries. This book is intended to help the clergy rise to that challenge and to relish its rewards.

The first chapter is entitled Marriage and the Liturgy. Liturgy comes first because it is the most distinctive aspect of our ministry to wedding couples. It is why they come to church, to be married according to holy rites and ceremonies, and to be strengthened thereby. To provide a solid foundation for doing this, Marriage Ministry sets out the background to the marriage services and their historical development and evolution. It also gives practical advice in clear and non-technical terms about how to use the Church of England’s three marriage services.

Clergy can come rather haphazardly to a working knowledge of marriage law. Marriage and the Law sets out in layman’s terms the (increasingly) complex legal framework for marriage in England. The chapter contains all the essentials the clergy need to know in order to exercise the lawyerly aspects of their priestly vocation. Clergy of the Church of England, whenever they conduct a wedding, are officers of the law as well as ministers of the sacrament, and need, therefore, to be sufficiently conversant with the legal preliminaries to marriage. This book addresses that need.

Marriage and Mission recognizes that God presents us with valuable opportunities to encourage and nurture couples in their relationship with him in his Church. Too often we are not as direct as we could be in inviting engaged couples into the fuller life of the parish. This chapter offers some helpful hints and suggestions in doing that. The final chapter, Marriage Ministry Timeline, marks out the practical and procedural steps that need to be taken in order to bring a couple from the doorstep of the Vicarage or Parish Office at their first enquiry to the threshold of the parish church on their wedding day. I hope you profit from the clarity this book provides and the confidence it fosters, and I pray that you will receive as many blessings as you impart. It is a ministry full of faith, hope, and love.

Paul Thomas

Paddington, Whit Sunday 2017

Dedicated to all the couples whose

marriages I have solemnized, but most

of all to Louisa whose society, help and

comfort it is my privilege each day to enjoy.

MARRIAGE AND THE LITURGY

THE HISTORY AND DEVELOPMENT OF THE MARRIAGE SERVICE IN ENGLAND FROM 1066 TO THE PRESENT DAY

Medieval origins

The marriage of the Angles to the Saxons was abruptly dissolved on 14 October 1066. ‘Harold Rex interfectus est’, recorded the Bayeux Tapestry, ‘King Harold was killed’. Whether Harold Godwinson, the last Saxon king, died because of an arrow in the eye as tradition has it or because William of Normandy himself wielded the fatal blow, we will never know. What is sure is that Harold’s demise marked the dissolution of England’s marriage