The Rover

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PART I

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PROLOGUE

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Written by a Person of Quality.

WITS, like Physicians, never can agree,

When of a different Society;

And Rabel’s Drops were never more cry’d down

By all the Learned Doctors of the Town,

Than a new Play, whose author is unknown:

Nor can those Doctors with more Malice sue

(And powerful Purses) the dissenting Few,

Than those with an insulting Pride do rail

At all who are not of their own Cabal.

If a Young Poet hit your Humour right,

You judge him then out of Revenge and Spite;

So amongst Men there are ridiculous Elves,

Who Monkeys hate for being too like themselves:

So that the Reason of the Grand Debate,

Why Wit so oft is damn’d, when good Plays take,

Is, that you censure as you love or hate.

Thus, like a learned Conclave, Poets sit

Catholick Judges both of Sense and Wit,

And damn or save, as they themselves think fit.

Yet those who to others Faults are so severe,

Are not so perfect, but themselves may err.

Some write correct indeed, but then the whole

(Bating their own dull Stuff i’th’ Play) is stole:

As Bees do suck from Flowers their Honey-dew,

So they rob others, striving to please you.

Some write their Characters genteel and fine,

But then they do so toil for every Line,

That what to you does easy seem, and plain,

Is the hard issue of their labouring Brain.

And some th’ Effects of all their Pains we see,

Is but to mimick good Extempore.

Others by long Converse about the Town,

Have Wit enough to write a leud Lampoon,

But their chief Skill lies in a Baudy Song.

In short, the only Wit that’s now in Fashion

Is but the Gleanings of good Conversation.

As for the Author of this coming Play,

I ask’d him what he thought fit I should say,

In thanks for your good Company to day:

He call’d me Fool, and said it was well known,

You came not here for our sakes, but your own.

New Plays are stuffed with Wits, and with Debauches,

That croud and sweat like Cits in May-day Coaches.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE.

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MEN.

Don Antonio, the Vice–Roy’s Son,Mr. Jevorne.

Don Pedro, a Noble Spaniard, his Friend,Mr. Medburne.

Belvile, an English Colonel in love with Florinda,Mr. Betterton.

Willmore, the ROVER,Mr. Smith.

Frederick, an English Gentleman, and Friend to Belvile and Blunt,Mr. Crosbie.

Blunt, an English Country Gentleman,Mr. Underhill.

Stephano, Servant to Don Pedro,Mr. Richards.

Philippo, Lucetta’s Gallant,Mr. Percival.

Sancho, Pimp to Lucetta,Mr. John Lee.

Bisky and Sebastian, two Bravoes to Angelica.

Diego, Page to Don Antonio.

Page to Hellena.

Boy, Page to Belvile.

Blunt’s Man.

Officers and Soldiers.

WOMEN.

Florinda, Sister to Don Pedro,Mrs. Betterton

Hellena, a gay young Woman design’d for a Nun, and Sister to Florinda,Mrs. Barrey.

Valeria, a Kinswoman to Florinda,Mrs. Hughes.

Angelica Bianca, a famous Curtezan,Mrs. Gwin.

Moretta, her Woman,Mrs. Leigh.

Callis, Governess to Florinda and Hellena,Mrs. Norris.

Lucetta, a jilting Wench,Mrs. Gillow.

Servants, other Masqueraders, Men and Women.

SCENE: NAPLES, IN CARNIVAL-TIME.

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ACT I.

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SCENE I. A CHAMBER.

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Enter Florinda and Hellena.

Florinda. What an impertinent thing is a young Girl bred in a Nunnery! How full of Questions! Prithee no more, Hellena; I have told thee more than thou understand’st already.

Hellena. The more’s my Grief; I wou’d fain know as much as you, which makes me so inquisitive; nor is’t enough to know you’re a Lover, unless you tell me too, who ’tis you sigh for.

Florinda. When you are a Lover, I’ll think you fit for a Secret of that nature.

Hellena. ’Tis true, I was never a Lover yet — but I begin to have a shreud Guess, what ’tis to be so, and fancy it very pretty to sigh, and sing, and blush and wish, and dream and wish, and long and wish to see the Man; and when I do, look pale and tremble; just as you did when my Brother brought home the fine English Colonel to see you — what do you call him? Don Belvile.

Florinda. Fie, Hellena.

Hellena. That Blush betrays you — I am sure ’tis so — or is it Don Antonio the Vice–Roy’s Son? — or perhaps the rich Don Vincentio, whom my father designs for your Husband? — Why do you blush again?

Florinda. With Indignation; and how near soever my Father thinks I am to marrying that hated Object, I shall let him see I understand better what’s due to my beauty Birth and Fortune, and more to my Soul, than to obey those unjust Commands.

Hellena. Now hang me, if I don’t love thee for that dear Disobedience. I love Mischief strangely, as most of our Sex do, who are come to love nothing else — But tell me, dear Florinda, don’t you love that fine Anglese? — For I vow next to loving him my self, ’twill please me most that you do so, for he is so gay and so handsom.

Florinda. Hellena, a Maid design’d for a Nun ought not to be so curious in a Discourse of Love.

Hellena. And dost thou think that ever I’ll be a Nun? Or at least till I’m so old, I’m fit for nothing else. Faith no, Sister; and that which makes me long to know whether you love Belvile, is because I hope he has some mad Companion or other, that will spoil my Devotion; nay I’m resolv’d to provide my self this Carnival, if there be e’er a handsom Fellow of my Humour above Ground, tho I ask first.

Florinda. Prithee be not so wild.

Hellena. Now you have provided your self with a Man, you take no Care for poor me — Prithee tell me, what dost thou see about me that is unfit for Love — have not I a world of Youth? a Humor gay? a Beauty passable? a Vigour desirable? well shap’d? clean limb’d? sweet breath’d? and Sense enough to know how all these ought to be employ’d to the best Advantage: yes, I do and will. Therefore lay aside your Hopes of my Fortune, by my being a Devotee, and tell me how you came acquainted with this Belvile; for I perceive you knew Him before he came to Naples.

Florinda. Yes, I knew him at the Siege of Pampelona, he was then a Colonel of French Horse, who when the Town was ransack’d, nobly treated my Brother and my self, preserving us from all Insolencies; and I must own, (besides great Obligations) I have I know not what, that pleads kindly for him about my Heart, and will suffer no other to enter — But see my Brother.

Enter Don Pedro, Stephano, with a Masquing Habit, and Callis.

Pedro. Good morrow, Sister. Pray, when saw you your Lover Don Vincentio?

Florinda. I know not, Sir — Callis, when was he here? for I consider it so little, I know not when it was.

Pedro. I have a Command from my Father here to tell you, you ought not to despise him, a Man of so vast a Fortune, and such a Passion for you — Stephano, my things — [Puts on his Masquing Habit.]

Florinda. A Passion for me! ’tis more than e’er I saw, or had a desire should be shown — I hate Vincentio, and I would not have a Man so dear to me as my Brother follow the ill Customs of our Country, and make a Slave of his Sister — And Sir, my Father’s Will, I’m sure, you may divert.

Pedro. I know not how dear I am to you, but I wish only to be rank’d in your Esteem, equal with the English Colonel Belvile — Why do you frown and blush? Is there any Guilt belongs to the Name of that Cavalier?

Florinda. I’ll not deny I value Belvile: when I was expos’d to such Dangers as the licens’d Lust of common Soldiers threatned, when Rage and Conquest flew thro the City — then Belvile, this Criminal for my sake, threw himself into all Dangers to save my Honour, and will you not allow him my Esteem?

Pedro. Yes, pay him what you will in Honour — but you must consider Don Vincentio’s Fortune, and the Jointure he’ll make you.

Florinda. Let him consider my Youth, Beauty and Fortune; which ought not to be thrown away on his Age and Jointure.

Pedro. ’Tis true, he’s not so young and fine a Gentleman as that Belvile — but what jewels will that Cavalier present you with? those of his Eyes and Heart?

Hellena. And are not those better than any Don Vincentio has brought from the Indies?

Pedro. Why how now! Has your Nunnery-breeding taught you to understand the Value of Hearts and Eyes?

Hellena. Better than to believe Vincentio deserves Value from any woman — He may perhaps encrease her Bags, but not her Family.

Pedro. This is fine — Go up to your Devotion, you are not design’d for the Conversation of Lovers.

Hellena. Nor Saints yet a while I hope. [Aside.] Is’t not enough you make a Nun of me, but you must cast my Sister away too, exposing her to a worse confinement than a religious Life?

Pedro. The Girl’s mad — Is it a Confinement to be carry’d into the Country, to an ancient Villa belonging to the Family of the Vincentio’s these five hundred Years, and have no other Prospect than that pleasing one of seeing all her own that meets her Eyes — a fine Air, large Fields and Gardens, where she may walk and gather Flowers?

Hellena. When? By Moon–Light? For I’m sure she dares not encounter with the heat of the Sun; that were a Task only for Don Vincentio and his Indian Breeding, who loves it in the Dog-days — And if these be her daily Divertisements, what are those of the Night? to lie in a wide Moth-eaten Bed–Chamber with Furniture in Fashion in the Reign of King Sancho the First; the Bed that which his Forefathers liv’d and dy’d in.

Pedro. Very well.

Hellena. This Apartment (new furbisht and fitted out for the young Wife) he (out of Freedom) makes his Dressing-room; and being a frugal and a jealous Coxcomb, instead of a Valet to uncase his feeble Carcase, he desires you to do that Office — Signs of Favour, I’ll assure you, and such as you must not hope for, unless your Woman be out of the way.

Pedro. Have you done yet?

Hellena. That Honour being past, the Giant stretches it self, yawns and sighs a Belch or two as loud as a Musket, throws himself into Bed, and expects you in his foul Sheets, and e’er you can get your self undrest, calls you with a Snore or two — And are not these fine Blessings to a young Lady?

Pedro. Have you done yet?

Hellena. And this man you must kiss, nay, you must kiss nay but him too — and nuzle thro his Beard to find his Lips — and this you must submit to for threescore Years, and all for a Jointure.

Pedro. For all your Character of Don Vincentio she is as like to marry him as she was before.

Hellena. Marry Don Vincentio! hang me, such a Wedlock would be worse than Adultery with another Man: I had rather see her in the Hostel de Dieu, to waste her Youth there in Vows, and be a Handmaid to Lazers and Cripples, than to lose it in such a Marriage.

Pedro. You have consider’d, Sister, that Belvile has no Fortune to bring you to, is banisht his Country, despis’d at home, and pity’d abroad.

Hellena. What then? the Vice–Roy’s Son is better than that Old Sir Fisty. Don Vincentio! Don Indian! he thinks he’s trading to Gambo still, and wou’d barter himself (that Bell and Bawble) for your Youth and Fortune.

Pedro. Callis, take her hence, and lock her up all this Carnival, and at Lent she shall begin her everlasting Penance in a Monastery.

Hellena. I care not, I had rather be a Nun, than be oblig’d to marry as you wou’d have me, if I were design’d for’t.

Pedro. Do not fear the Blessing of that Choice — you shall be a Nun.

Hellena. Shall I so? you may chance to be mistaken in my way of Devotion — A Nun! yes I am like to make a fine Nun! I have an excellent Humour for a Grate: No, I’ll have a Saint of my own to pray to shortly, if I like any that dares venture on me. [Aside.]

Pedro. Callis, make it your Business to watch this wild Cat. As for you, Florinda, I’ve only try’d you all this while, and urg’d my Father’s Will; but mine is, that you would love Antonio, he is brave and young, and all that can compleat the Happiness of a gallant Maid — This Absence of my Father will give us opportunity to free you from Vincentio, by marrying here, which you must do to morrow.

Florinda. To morrow!

Pedro. To morrow, or ’twill be too late —’tis not my Friendship to Antonio, which makes me urge this, but Love to thee, and Hatred to Vincentio — therefore resolve upon’t to morrow.

Florinda. Sir, I shall strive to do, as shall become your Sister.

Pedro. I’ll both believe and trust you — Adieu.

[Ex. Ped. and Steph.]

Hellena. As become his Sister! — That is, to be as resolved your way, as he is his —

[Hell. goes to Callis.]

Florinda. I ne’er till now perceiv’d my Ruin near, I’ve no Defence against Antonio’s Love, For he has all the Advantages of Nature, The moving Arguments of Youth and Fortune.

Hellena. But hark you, Callis, you will not be so cruel to lock me up indeed: will you?

Callis. I must obey the Commands I hate — besides, do you consider what a Life you are going to lead?

Hellena. Yes, Callis, that of a Nun: and till then I’ll be indebted a World of Prayers to you, if you let me now see, what I never did, the Divertisements of a Carnival.

Callis. What, go in Masquerade? ’twill be a fine farewell to the World I take it — pray what wou’d you do there?

Hellena. That which all the World does, as I am told, be as mad as the rest, and take all innocent Freedom — Sister, you’ll go too, will you not? come prithee be not sad — We’ll out-wit twenty Brothers, if you’ll be ruled by me — Come put off this dull Humour with your Clothes, and assume one as gay, and as fantastick as the Dress my Cousin Valeria and I have provided, and let’s ramble.

Florinda. Callis, will you give us leave to go?

Callis. I have a youthful Itch of going my self. [Aside.] — Madam, if I thought your Brother might not know it, and I might wait on you, for by my troth I’ll not trust young Girls alone.

Florinda. Thou see’st my Brother’s gone already and thou shalt attend and watch us.

Enter Stephano.

Stephano. Madam, the Habits are come, and your Cousin Valeria is drest, and stays for you.

Florinda. ’Tis well — I’ll write a Note, and if I chance to see Belvile, and want an opportunity to speak to him, that shall let him know what I’ve resolv’d in favour of him.

Hellena. Come, let’s in and dress us.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE II. A LONG STREET.

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Enter Belvile, melancholy, Blunt and Frederick.

Frederick. Why, what the Devil ails the Colonel, in a time when all the World is gay, to look like mere Lent thus? Hadst thou been long enough in Naples to have been in love, I should have sworn some such Judgment had befall’n thee.

Belvile. No, I have made no new Amours since I came to Naples.

Frederick. You have left none behind you in Paris.

Belvile. Neither.

Frederick. I can’t divine the Cause then; unless the old Cause, the want of Mony.

Blunt. And another old Cause, the want of a Wench — Wou’d not that revive you?

Belvile. You’re mistaken, Ned.

Blunt. Nay, ’Sheartlikins, then thou art past Cure.

Frederick. I have found it out; thou hast renew’d thy Acquaintance with the Lady that cost thee so many Sighs at the Siege of Pampelona — pox on’t, what d’ye call her — her Brother’s a noble Spaniard — Nephew to the dead General — Florinda — ay, Florinda — And will nothing serve thy turn but that damn’d virtuous Woman, whom on my Conscience thou lov’st in spite too, because thou seest little or no possibility of gaining her?

Belvile. Thou art mistaken, I have Interest enough in that lovely Virgin’s Heart, to make me proud and vain, were it not abated by the Severity of a Brother, who perceiving my Happiness —

Frederick. Has civilly forbid thee the House?

Belvile. ’Tis so, to make way for a powerful Rival, the Vice–Roy’s Son, who has the advantage of me, in being a Man of Fortune, a Spaniard, and her Brother’s Friend; which gives him liberty to make his Court, whilst I have recourse only to Letters, and distant Looks from her Window, which are as soft and kind as those which Heav’n sends down on Penitents.

Blunt. Hey day! ’Sheartlikins, Simile! by this Light the Man is quite spoil’d — Frederick, what the Devil are we made of, that we cannot be thus concerned for a Wench? —’Sheartlikins, our Cupids are like the Cooks of the Camp, they can roast or boil a Woman, but they have none of the fine Tricks to set ’em off, no Hogoes to make the Sauce pleasant, and the Stomach sharp.

Frederick. I dare swear I have had a hundred as young, kind and handsom as this Florinda; and Dogs eat me, if they were not as troublesom to me i’th’ Morning, as they were welcome o’er night.

Blunt. And yet, I warrant, he wou’d not touch another Woman, if he might have her for nothing.

Belvile. That’s thy joy, a cheap Whore.

Blunt. Why, ’dsheartlikins, I love a