The Perfect Family

Contents

Thank you

My testimony

Introduction

one

two

three

four

five

six

seven

eight

nine

ten

eleven

twelve

thirteen

fourteen

fifteen

sixteen

seventeen

eighteen

nineteen

twenty

twenty-one

twenty-two

twenty-three

twenty-four

twenty-five

twenty-six

twenty-seven

twenty-eight

twenty-nine

Thank you

I have to thank my heavenly father God for allowing me to write another phenomenal novel.

Special thanks, to my three fantastic sisters Debra, June and Lorie for always having my back. I Love yall !!!

Thanks to my closest friends for not giving up on me even when I had given up on myself. It was your Love that brought me back!!!

I would thank Bill for opening my eyes and now I see the light.

Special thanks to Lynn Agnew, Cheryl Hinton, Rosa Rios, Shonta Brooks, Lucy Shipley-Sims and Rita Spann for taking the time out to read my novel before it went to the press and giving me constructive criticism.

Thanks to all my readers for your continued support.

My testimony

He saw the best in me when everyone else around could only see the worst in me.

When people walked away and said I would never make it. He saw the best in… I feel a praise right there (YES LORD)

It doesn’t matter what I’ve done. He only sees me, for who I am.

He’s mine, and I’m his.

I’ll have no more of this moping around

I’m tired of putting myself down

But in spite of all I’ve been through

I still believe there’s a winner in me.

I’m still excited about my future; because, what’s coming is better than what’s been… You ain’t seen nothing yet, God is blessing me Like Never Before!!!

Introduction

I still remember that chilling experience my brother Joe and I encountered one summer. We had no air conditioning or fans, so our apartment was blazing with heat. Consequently, we felt helpless as sweat dripped from our bodies.

To make matters worse, we had to listen to Daddy yell to the top of his lungs at Mama because she forgot to thaw out the chicken for dinner. It always hurt me that my mother had to subject herself to my father’s verbal, mental, and physical abuse. Her sisters always warned her about my father’s bad temper. They even tried to get Mama to move back to Detroit to be with them, but Daddy wasn’t having that. He moved our family to Chicago so he could have total control over my mother. We didn’t know many people in Chicago, and Daddy kept it that way. The only person my mother made friends with was the little, elderly lady who lived next door named Ms. Shelton. When we were younger, she watched Joe and I when our parents were at work. As I got older, I began hanging out with the kids standing on the corner hustling to make a quick dollar.

Getting back to that chilling experience, Daddy’s yelling became louder and louder. The last time I heard him go off like that was when he accused Mama of cheating on him because she came home five minutes late from work. I always prayed for the day that Mama would leave Daddy.

All of a sudden, we heard a loud bang.

Lloyd, what was that? Joe asked as he sat up in the top bunk bed.

I didn’t know what happened, but I did know if Daddy hit Mama again I was going to kick his ass. I was sixteen and Joe was only fourteen, so if anybody was going to stand up for Mama it had to be me. My attitude was already jacked up because it was so hot in our tiny apartment. I jumped out of bed, still hot and sticky, and rushed to the kitchen only to find my mother on the floor with blood gushing from the side of her head.

What did you do to my mother? I yelled.

Daddy looked at me with a sly grin. Her dumb ass slipped and hit her head on the counter. She’ll be ok. Go back to bed.

Hell no! I’m sick and tired of you beating on Mama!

Daddy punched me in my chest so hard that I flew back onto the sofa. Joe came running and jumped on Daddy’s back and began beating him on the head. Daddy swung him onto the floor and commenced to punching him in the face. I ran to the telephone and called the police. Daddy’s punk ass heard my conversation and ran out the front door. When the door slammed, Mama slightly opened her teary eyes.

I don’t want you boys to see me like this. I love you and I’m sorry I put you through this. I promise we’re moving far away from your father.

The next day, Joe and I walked to St. Francis Hospital to check on Mama only to be told we needed an adult to accompany us. Joe and I calmly walked out of the hospital as though we were heading home, but we weren’t. I recalled my mother saying, If a door is closed in your face then go through another door. Keep trying until you get in.

What if all the doors are locked? I asked.

Mama stood tall, took in a deep breath, and looked me in my eyes. Then kick the damn door down. Do whatever it takes to get in.

With that in mind, I led Joe around the corner to the side door, which was locked, so we tried another door down the block and it was locked, too. As fate would have it, an elderly man was coming out of the back door, so I ran to assist him as Joe held the door open. After helping the man to his car, Joe and I rushed to the third floor. We walked up and down the hall looking for Mama’s room, and a nurse approached us.

What are you boys doing walking up and down the hall?

Can you help us find our mother?

What is your mother’s name?

Gail Strong.

Your mother is in the ICU and she can’t have long visits. Come with me. And don’t ever sneak in here again. I’ll let you slide this one time.

While standing at Mama’s door, I became afraid of what I might see. But being the oldest, I had to be strong for Joe.

We walked into a dimly lit, ice-cold room and saw Mama lying there with tubes running throughout her body. Her face had swollen almost beyond recognition. That vision still haunts me till this day.

Joe ran over to Mama crying and screaming while I remained speechless. I was angry at Daddy for doing that to her. Right then I made a vow to never put my hands on a woman. I slowly walked to the bed with tears streaming down my face.

Mama, please get well, Joe cried. We need you.

Mama always spoiled Joe rotten, and I guess that’s why he took things differently than me. He was hugging and kissing on Mama, but I was too afraid to touch her.

The nurse pulled Joe away from Mama. You boys have to be strong. Your mother will be alright as long as you keep praying for her. Tell me what happened.

I was too embarrassed to say our father abused her, so I lied. "She fell and hit her head on the kitchen counter.

The nurse grabbed our hands and said a short prayer asking God to heal Mama’s body and to take care of Joe and me. The prayer made me feel much better.

The next day, Joe and I went back to the hospital and camped by the side door waiting for someone to come out. As soon as someone did, I jammed the door with my foot, and we headed to Mama’s room. When we walked in, Mama was looking peaceful. Her face wasn’t swollen, and all the tubes were gone. Joe and I became excited. We knew she would be coming home soon.

You’re not supposed to be in here, said the same nurse from the day before.

Until our mother comes home, we have no choice but to come here.

Unfortunately, your mother passed away about an hour ago.

No, no, no, no! Joe began screaming. Please, Mama, come back!

I began violently throwing things across the room.

Calm down, the nurse interrupted. Give me the number of the person you’re staying with?

We looked at her dumbfounded because we didn’t trust her.

If you won’t tell me then I’m going to turn you over to Child Protection Services. What are your full names?

At that moment, I came to my senses and had to think fast. Please, Ms. Puckett, I said after glancing at her nametag. Don’t turn us in.

Tears began to stream down her face. I’m sorry, but it’s my job.

When she walked out of the room, I pulled Joe by his arm. Listen, the people she’s talking about calling are going to take us away and split us up. Come on! We have to go!

We went to Mama’s bedside, kissed her on her cold lips, and told her we loved her. Joe wanted to keep hugging her, but I pulled him away. We took off running down the stairs side by side. We ran out the hospital and down the street. We were out of breath, but we never stopped running. When we made it to our apartment, I snuck in the bedroom window just in case Daddy was there. He wasn’t, so I ran to the front door to let Joe in. Realizing our mother was gone forever, we sat and began to cry like newborn babies.

Joe, we have to fend for ourselves now. I’m not going to stay with Daddy no matter what. When the police find out what really happened to Mama, Daddy’s going to jail. I got up and grabbed a big, black duffle bag and began piling our clothes into it.

Where are we going? Joe asked.

Don’t ask any questions right now. I’m thinking. After I packed the bag, we went outside to the back of the building into the basement where I hid my secret stash. I pulled out a brown paper bag and dumped the contents on the floor. There was a Ziploc bag full of weed, a roll of cash, and a silver .45 Smith and Wesson pistol.

Where did you get all this stuff? Joe asked.

I’ve been working for Sonny. I was trying to save enough money so the three of us could move away from Daddy one day. Now it’s too late because Mama’s dead. I could see Joe beginning to tear up, so I snapped him out of his misery. Come on, Joe. Let’s get out of here before somebody finds us.

We weren’t a block down the street before we saw Daddy heading our way.

Bring y’all asses here! Where do you think you’re going? And where is your crazy-ass mother?

You killed her! Joe started yelling.

What the hell are you talking about, boy? Where is that bitch?

The closer Daddy came toward us, the angrier I became. Before I knew it, I pulled out the pistol and pointed it at him.

Boy, what the hell are you doing with that damn gun?

You killed our mother, I said with ice in my veins.

Boy, stop your lying. Your mama isn’t dead.

For a moment, I thought about Mama lying in the hospital dead. The next thing I knew I pulled the trigger and began shooting. Each time I pulled the trigger, the next shot became easier. Joe and I were in a state of shock as we looked down at Daddy’s lifeless body. All five shots hit him square in the chest. Joe and I took off running again. The only place I knew we would be safe was Sonny’s house. He was like an old school, street father to me. He always looked out for me whenever I hung out in the streets.

While running I thought to myself, Damn! Not only have we lost Mama, but Daddy was gone, too.

•

Thank God for Sonny looking out for Joe and me. I will forever be in debt to him for hiding us from Child Protection Services, but most of all for threatening the mortician into allowing us to view Mama’s body the night before the funeral. Joe and I stayed in the funeral home all night under the supervision of the mortician.

Boy, what a sad night that was. It didn’t seem real. I felt like I was dreaming. Mama was laid out in a white coffin trimmed in gold, and she was wearing a pretty, white dress. Seeing her lifeless body just tore me apart. I knew I had to be strong for Joe because I was all he had. Although we had relatives on both sides of the family, we didn’t want to stay with them. I was determined I was going to be the caregiver for my little brother. My mother always encouraged us that if anything should happen to her we should take care of each other, and that’s what we planned to do.

Joe sat in a chair next to the coffin holding his head in the palm of his hands crying. I stood in the back of the chapel wondering why all of this had to happen. I began to pray to myself, asking God why he took our mother away. Then I thought about Daddy. Lord, have mercy on me. Truly, I felt bad for killing him. I asked God to please forgive me. Mama always said if you ask God to forgive you and really mean it in your heart then He will forgive you. I believe that God has forgiven me. Now I have to find a way to forgive myself. I think about shooting Daddy every day of my life. I wonder if I will ever get past this? Even now that I’m grown and married with four children of my own, I still think about my parents’ deaths.

The next morning when Sonny picked us up from the funeral home, little did we know he was sending us off to Mississippi to live with his younger brother Percy? Percy was a big time drug dealer that lived in a four-bedroom trailer home. Man, that trailer was something to behold! It looked like a luxurious house. There were floodlights in the living room, and it was decorated with beautiful, leather furniture. All the bedrooms were fit for a king to live in. I had never seen anything like it in my life. Percy was living like a millionaire. One bedroom had nothing but his designer clothing and shoes all neatly lined up. He had a black Cadillac all chromed out, a white Benz, and a red Van sitting in front of a trailer. Damn, he had it going on. It wasn’t long before Percy had Joe and me out on the streets selling heroin and cocaine for him. The first week, I made over $7,000, and Joe made just about the same. Man, those people were buying drugs from us like bread and milk. Percy paid us $1,500 a week. I bought my first car in six months of being in Mississippi. It was a used, black-on-black Caddy, fully loaded with soft leather seats. Man, you couldn’t tell me nothing. I was bad. I was dressing sharp and sporting my Caddy. I was only seventeen and I didn’t have a driver’s license, but Percy arranged for me to get the car through an underhanded car dealer.

I had plenty of money and women. Most of the women I dated were much older than me. Some of them were even in their twenties and thirties. Percy didn’t have a problem with it. In fact, he encouraged it. Out of all the women I dated, I most favored Colleen and Anne. They were my world. I bought them everything they ever wanted. One thing for sure, they didn’t know about each other. I just knew that I loved both of them and I wasn’t about to let neither one of them go. Joe, on the other hand, spent a lot of his money on video games and clothes. Even Joe had the girls all over him.

Percy showed both of us how to hide money in the heels of our shoes and under the soles of our shoes. We would line our shoes with hundred dollar bills. Sonny convinced Percy he could trust me. Sonny said since I was a young blood, Percy could mold me and train me the way he wanted. That’s just what he did. Percy showed me all the tricks of the trade. One thing that really blew my mind was how much money Percy hid in that trailer. One day, Percy took me into the washroom and locked the door. He went down on his knees and pulled out the bottom of the bathtub. Under the tub was nothing but one-hundred-dollar bills stacked in a lot of shoeboxes. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Percy took out several stacks of money and put them into a black duffle bag. He told me to take a ride with him. It started getting dark outside, and the further we drove, there were no streetlights. We drove up to a dark, dusty parking lot. I was afraid as hell. I didn’t see anyone out there, but I was not about to ask Percy why we were there. Percy was known for having a bad temper when you asked him questions, so I kept my mouth closed and waited to see what was going to happen. All of a sudden, I saw several headlights flash our way.

Ok, Lloyd, Percy said without taking his eyes off of the approaching cars. It’s time. Follow me.

I got out of the van nervous and shaking like a leaf on a tree on a windy day. I still didn’t know what was going on. Several big, burly men walked up to us and began to frisk us. I guess they were looking for weapons. I didn’t have my piece on me, and I was happy about that.

Percy introduced me to the ringleader named Pedro. He then assured Pedro that I could be trusted. Percy quickly handed over the black duffle bag to Pedro.

Nice job, Percy, Pedro complimented as he passed the bag to one of his guys. Keep up the good work.

On our way back home, Percy shared his thoughts.

Lloyd, I know I can trust you. That’s why I brought you out here with me tonight. I’m going to show you the ropes. Look, listen, and learn. If you follow me, you’re sure to come out a success.

Yeah, cool, man. Show me the ropes.

Shut the hell up and just listen to me! Percy lashed out.

I did exactly what he said and didn’t say another word.

From that day forward, I was on my way to becoming a self-made millionaire. Percy and I were making so much money that every night when we made it back to the trailer we would throw all the money into the bathtub. Damn, there were so many bills that it covered the bottom of the tub. I was making enough money to take care of Joe and me, so I made Joe stop selling. He was alright with it. The only thing he wanted was more video games and name-brand clothing. I was able to buy everything for him, so he was cool.

Months had gone by, and the dough was rolling in big time. I had my two favorite girls on my side. They were still happy because I bought them all the fancy clothes they desired.

It was one cold, winter night, and I was in the trailer by myself drinking Hennessy straight. I was drunk as hell. I began to reflect back on Mama’s death and me killing my daddy. I had become very depressed. I even thought about committing suicide that night because the pain had become so unbearable. The only thing that kept me alive was the thought of Joe and who would look after him if I were gone. I couldn’t kill myself and leave him here alone in this world.

I got up and went out for a drive to clear my head. Low and behold, I was stopped by the police for speeding down the freeway. I was so drunk I could barely see straight. The police found the open bottle of liquor in the car and a bag of weed. They hauled my ass off to jail for driving while intoxicated, possession of an illegal substance, and driving without a driver’s license. Thank goodness I didn’t have my gun and my cocaine or heroin stash on me. They gave me sixty days in jail because the feds were trying to pin me with drugs charges. They knew I was dealing, but they couldn’t find any evidence to prove it, so they had to let me go. While I was in jail I didn’t see or hear from anybody. I was on lock down.

Upon my release, I headed to Ann’s house because I needed some loving. Ann was waiting for me with open arms. The first thing she said to me was, Guess what, baby? I’m pregnant. Man, I was ecstatic. It was an honor to have Ann as the mother of my child because she is pretty, smart, and very compassionate. She always had my back. We made love that night to celebrate my getting out of jail and her being pregnant. Before I left, I told her I would bring her over some money so she could buy herself some food and clothes. I was truly going to take good care of Ann.

When I arrived home, Percy was sitting at the kitchen table watching TV. I could tell he was disappointed with me.

Lloyd, I’ve been there and I’ve learned from my mistakes. You always got to remember that if you snooze, you lose. If you’re slow, you blow. Man, you slipped.

I didn’t say a word. I just stood there and listened.

Man, I sell drugs, he continued, but I don’t use them. I have to stay on top of my game at all times. I have too much going for me. I ain’t about to let it all go down the drain. I told you to look, listen, and learn.

I took a chance on speaking. Where is Joe?

An angry look came across Percy’s face. I was trying to help that little-ass punk! He started stealing money from me, so I put his ass out of my house!

Percy shouted at the top of his lungs so much that it reminded me of Daddy the night he shouted at Mama and then knocked her out cold.

I shouted right back at him. Where the hell did he go?

I don’t know where that punk went!

Right at that moment, I felt like doing to him what I had done to my father. You know they say once you kill somebody it’s always easier the next time around. The only thing that stopped me was thoughts of my unborn child. I calmed down and rushed out of the house looking for my baby brother.

I searched the streets looking for Joe. No one had seen him. That’s when I started to really worry about him. I called my other girl Colleen to let her know I was home from jail and to see if she had seen Joe.

No, I haven’t seen him. But, I have something to tell you.

What?

Baby, I’m pregnant with your child.

I almost fell out. All of that excitement was too much for me. I couldn’t believe both my girls were pregnant with a child of mine.

I continued to drive around town looking for Joe. I knew he hung around the schoolyard, so I headed over there. I ran into his friend Steve and asked him had he seen Joe.

Steve dropped his head. Man, your brother has been hanging out with them boys down on Crenshaw road.

Crenshaw was notorious for gang banging and drugs. I rushed over to Crenshaw road with my heart racing faster than the wheels on my car. I was so afraid I didn’t know what to expect. As I approached the Crenshaw community, things had changed. There were people hanging out on the streets drinking liquor and smoking weed. I saw drug addicts walking up and down the streets. People could tell I wasn’t from around there because of my fancy car. I felt like a celebrity because everybody was speaking to me. I guess they could smell money all over me. I parked my car and walked up and down the streets asking had anyone seen Joe. Nobody seemed to know who I was talking about.

The Lord always works in mysterious ways. I spotted an older gentleman sitting on his porch watching everybody who walked by. I walked over to him and asked if he had seen Joe. He said he didn’t know anybody named Joe. However, when I began to describe Joe to him, he knew just who I was talking about. The gentleman told me where I could find Joe. I almost broke my neck running down the street to the old, dilapidated building on the corner. I rushed up the steps and rang everybody’s doorbell trying to get in. Finally, a young dude came to the door looking ashier than anyone I’ve ever seen. I thought he was the walking dead. I asked him if Joe was in there.

Man, Joe lives upstairs with Coball.

I pushed him out of my way and hopped up the stairs two by two. The stench in the hallway was enough to make me sick to my stomach. That damn building was filthy. I began banging on the door and frantically calling out Joe’s name. A tall, older guy opened the door.

Joe-Joe is in that room down there, he said pointing down the hall.

I walked down the long, dark hallway and knocked on Joe’s door. I didn’t get an answer, so I started banging.

The janitor came out and started shouting. Stop banging on that damn door before I call the police!

That was the last thing I needed to happen because I had my pistol and a knot of money on me. I had to think fast, so I bribed him by saying, Man, my little brother is missing, and they tell me he’s in there. If you open up the door and let me check things out I’ll give you a $100.

His eyes lit up. Ok, give me the money.

I went into my pocket and pinched off a hundred dollar bill to show him I was serious, but I didn’t hand it to him. You have to open the door first.

He went to get the key to the room. I was still upset with Percy for putting Joe out. The janitor rushed back and stuck the key in the door and turned the knob. Then he held out his hand for the money. I handed it to him and walked in the door.

The room was junky as hell, and I didn’t see Joe. I began looking around to see if I saw something that would tell me where Joe could be. Just as I walked around to the other side of the bed, there was Joe stretched out on the floor with a belt tied around his arm and a syringe of heroin stuck in his vein. Lord, have mercy! I said and then I started yelling for someone to call the paramedics. I was crying uncontrollable. The janitor rushed in to try to help me, but it was too late. Joe had died of an overdose. I couldn’t help myself. I began to regurgitate and I became weak and faint. I wasn’t able to stand on my own, so the janitor helped me to a chair. I pulled out my pistol and held it to my head so I could take myself out. The janitor grabbed the pistol from me and held me down until the paramedics arrived along with the police. I was glad the janitor had taken the gun because if they found it on me, I would’ve gone back to jail.

•

After the death of Joe, I went into a deep depression. Ann was there for me every step of the way unlike Colleen, who only thought about getting money from me to buy her designer clothes, shoes, and purses. I made my decision to leave Mississippi and start a new life with Ann and my unborn baby in Illinois. I hid money for a rainy day, and boy was it raining. I left Colleen with $3,000. Ann and I packed up all our belongings and drove to Chicago.

After arriving in Chicago, I found us an apartment on the low end of 47th and Michigan. It was only a small, one-bedroom apartment, but I didn’t care. I just needed to get the hell out of Mississippi to clear my head. I felt like the only thing I had riding for me was Ann and my baby. I wasn’t about to put them in harms way. My main concern in life was taking care of them. I had $5,000 cash that we had to live on until I found a job. When the owner of the building I lived in found out I knew