Love & Peace

LOVE

&

PEACE

By the same author

A Feeling Beyond Words

The world says: Love can never be one-sided.

Some say: There’s nothing called love.

He says: Love sees no side; it happens to be the only law of

life, and is the most powerful thing one can possess.

In the era of modernization, the word love has lost its meaning to lust. A Feeling Beyond Words is a quintessence to prove that true love stories still exist in this lustful world.

A story of a boy always thinking over someone he loved. Waiting for her and loving her till his last breath. He is vulnerable, sad, broken and alone despite being surrounded by many. Then enters a girl with an angelic heart, promising to be together. And by the time that boy recovers from the past that caused him much pain and isolation, tragedy plays another tough game, wounding him forever.

LOVE

&

PEACE

ABHISHEK KOTHARI

Srishti Publishers & Distributors

Registered Office: N-16, C.R. Park

New Delhi – 110 019

Corporate Office: 212A, Peacock Lane

Shahpur Jat, New Delhi – 110 049

editorial@srishtipublishers.com

First published by

Srishti Publishers & Distributors in 2017

Copyright © Abhishek Kothari, 2017

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

This is a work of fiction. The characters, places, organisations and events described in this book are either a work of the author’s imagination or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to people, living or dead, places, events, communities or organisations is purely coincidental.

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the Publishers.

Printed and bound in India

On 19 September 2006 I saw a girl. All I remember about that meeting is – she was wearing a white top and wore lip gloss. In time, we became very good friends. Though I never liked her hands, I wanted to hold them forever. Ha, I had fallen in love with her! And on 21 November 2006, I proposed to her. She rejected me. Of course it hurt! In time, our friendship also flickered. We stopped meeting. In fact, we stopped talking. My friends told me that I did not deserve her love! However, with a dream that one day she’d love me back, I moved on. I didn’t stop loving her. I simply waited for our time to come. Meanwhile, I made her sketches and portraits. I developed a habit of writing songs and letters for her, which I never sent to her. Thinking she’ll be moved, I wrote my first novel A Feeling Beyond Words to show her what love is to me – to show her what she is to me!

On 9 August 2010, when my first book was launched, she met me at my house.

Look, I am already in a relationship with someone. He loves me, and I love him too. His family has accepted me, and my family knows him well. It’s final. I am his, she said. I am his! That killed me. Right then. Right there. It struck deep inside my heart. My heart and lungs almost jumped out of my throat. I sat there numb, looking at her. I had no words to say, or justify myself. I showed her a portrait I had made of her. But she was not convinced. She was not moved. How could she be? She herself was in love with someone else. So she left. That was the first and the last day that she visited my house – a place I had dreamed for her to rule being my Queen.

I didn’t meet her after that rainy day. I didn’t even talk to her. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. And as you read this, it’s been more than six years now, and we’re still out of touch. But news travel, you know. This November 2016, she got married to the one she told me about on that rainy day. Of course, once again, it hurts. Still, I can’t stop loving her. I have tried, but I have failed.

I dedicate this book to you, Aparna, wishing for Love & Peace for you, always. I don’t believe that if we’re not together, or couldn’t be, means I can’t love you. I believe that some feelings are embraced, others are not, but what matters the most is the passion and honesty with which we love. I love you! Though unrequited, I have managed to love you for a decade, now I am trying to love you for a century.

Acknowledgements

I would like to acknowledge and express my gratitude to you, dear Reader-Friend, for picking up this book.

I am indebted to team of Srishti Publishers for believing in me once again, and their valuable inputs in the book.

With deepest gratitude, I would like to thank Sumit and Urvashi, for holding me when every other person stepped back.

For their generosity in love and support: Shailender bhaiya and Shivani bhabhi.

My friends with whom I have developed an everlasting bond: Aman, Mrs Bakshi Bhawna, Deepesh, Gaurav Bagaria, Jui, Kanu, Kushagra, Nikhil and Raghavi.

Every good thing needs an inspiration. For me, you have done the cause! I thank you, the very special Sonu Purohit, for being my backbone to finally come up with this book, from discussing the characters to writing a concept, for saving me from falling apart when I felt a part of me dying…for everything. I really feel blessed that we met!

And finally to love, that gives me a reason to breathe and write. I feel, the day love leave me, I will leave this beautiful world.

To know more about me and the book, do write to me at writerabhishekkothari@yahoo.com.

A note from the author

This is life. People come and go once their purpose is solved. But then there are a few those reside in our hearts beyond eternity. When life is harsh and all seems falling apart, they come for our rescue like angels. They hold our hand, support us, inspire us and make life heaven. For me, you have done that!

I had my reasons and issues in settling down, so a few years ago, I left home to travel the world, explore the undiscovered, and pen down my feelings. Then, somewhere in the middle of the journey, it happened – we met. You radiated the supreme positivity and I was just mesmerized by the simplicity in you. And once I met you, I felt like putting an end to the journey, for I felt it was complete. That you are the destination. Then once I knew you, we came closer. I made up my mind that a new journey has to begin.

You know, My Fairy in White, when I looked into your eyes, I could see the purpose of my life – you – for, if asked, you are the one I regard the most. You’re the one who has given life a reason and the one who makes me happy. I feel complete when you are close.

So, dear Pagli, here I declare to feel honored and blessed that we met and I feel proud to express that I love you – truly, madly, deeply – with all my true feelings!

With planning and hard work, we can win anything; but love, as it is spontaneous, won me unalarmed. Now that I love you and dream of making you My Lady in Red, I love you unconditionally and without any hesitation. I vow to love you, encourage you, trust you, and respect you. As a family, we all shall create a home filled with learning, laughter and compassion. I give you my word to work with you to foster and cherish a relationship of equality, knowing together we all shall build a life far better than any of us could imagine alone. You are my eternal love. I accept you as you are and I, you know, am already yours. I will care for you, Queen of My Heart, stand beside you, and share with you all of life’s adversities and all of its joys always, till our life sees its evening. The same day, I shall take my last breaths in your arms. Meanwhile, let’s love, live and forgive.

Prologue

"What is love?"

Love is what I earn in order to move further every day. It’s the source of feeding my soul to live a day longer, in order to continue my journey and pursue my dream – that is you. For me, love is you.

Why do you love me so much, Raju?

Why don’t you love me so much, Guddi? Forget so much. Simply why don’t you?

That’s not the answer.

Still. Answer me first.

Simply…I simply don’t, she answered.

I do, he smiled. I simply do.

She sat silent. He added, I love you so much because this is how I am, and because this is the only way I know of loving, in which I breathe to take a step further to reach out on to you, and to show you my love by all means, so purely that when you smile, a curve comes on my lips, and when you are in pain, my heart bursts out and wishes to destroy the entire world. Above all, loving you this much gives me peace.

Late twentieth century

"Your first love is the perfect and only love, until you meet your second love," his lady love had said years ago, and then had married someone else.

Sanjay sat on a log lying on ground. As he looked at the sky above, he saw birds flying back to their nests; the red sun at the horizon bidding goodbye for the day; and the moon smiling in the sky to welcome everyone into his world.

‘I never thought I’d return to such matters,’ he thought. To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others. Unable to contain his sympathy, he broke all the promises he had once made to himself and came back to the matters of the heart – to help someone in love.

Pranam, Bhaiji, a voice greeted Sanjay.

Sanjay turned his head to find Harish and Madhav standing

behind him. Bringing his hands together into a namaste, Harish bowed, the tip of his forefingers touching his nose. Sanjay stood and dusted his pants. He did not reciprocate Harish’s namaste with words. However, he nodded casually and holding his pyjamas with his left, he put his right hand into it. Harish and Madhav grinned at each other, wondering what Sanjay was trying to do.

Who is the boy? asked Sanjay. Thankfully, his hand was out now.

Don’t know, Bhaiji. Someone from Birogi gaon, replied

Harish, terrified to see the pistol Sanjay had taken out from his pyjamas. He looked around to check if anyone was there.

Sit! Sanjay ordered Madhav to sit on the crossbar of his bicycle.

Harish looked at Sanjay. Do you need a special invitation? Sanjay frowned. Back on the carrier. He gestured through his eyes.

Everybody was afraid of Sanjay in the village, so the friends obediently did as commanded. They didn’t even ask where!

A lady emerged from a nearby farm. She was wearing a sari, her face covered with a dupatta. She held a sheaf on her head and, with a piece of cloth, had a sickle tied on her waist.

Madhav! she screamed seeing the trio approaching. Unable to see her covered face, Madhav tried to recognize her from her voice, but failed. Sanjay didn’t stop and they passed her. As Sanjay peddled the bicycle, she turned and screamed, What has happened to Raju?

Why do women need to know everything? Always looking for gossip! muttered Sanjay.

They crossed a small temple. Harish and Madhav bowed their heads. They wished someone would put some sense into Sanjay’s head. Seeing both friends bowing their heads, Sanjay clicked his tongue for he had stopped believing in god years ago. Harish pinched Madhav from the back.

Ouch, screamed Madhav, and then stopped in between, as he realized he had almost sent an invitation to Yama’s messenger who was halfway to meet him.

These girls will never learn. Every disastrous thing happens because of them. The world’s longest battle – the battle of Troy, India’s biggest battle – the Mahabharata. Even our brother…he has turned insane. It’s all because of women, he said with bitterness.

Madhav observed that Sanjay had a lot of bitterness for women and that he wanted to vent the whole of his spleen on Guddi and her lover.



Sanjay had taken them to a jungle outside the village. It was dusk; it was silent all around. Sanjay was drunk and the other two