A World Interrupted
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With Love,
Chico DaVincci Gillum
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A World Interrupted - Chico DaVincci Gillum
© 2013 by Chico DaVincci Gillum. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by AuthorHouse 07/27/2013
ISBN: 978-1-4817-6372-1 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4817-6371-4 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4817-6370-7 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013910550
For more information of the author and for book orders you may
Log on at www.chicodavincci.com
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Contents
A Letter To My Readers
Chapter 1 Nobody Told Me the Road Would Be Easy
Chapter 2 Reality Sinks In
Chapter 3 New Beginnings
Chapter 4 Understanding Love and Pain
Chapter 5 A Moment To Talk To My Readers
Chapter 6 My Dear Mother
Chapter 7 Blood, Sweat, and Years
Chapter 8 Gone Too Soon
Chapter 9 Change Heals All
Chapter 10 The End To A New Beginning
I Had A Dream
A Walk In My Thoughts
The Truth Unfiltered
A World Interrupted
A Letter To My Readers
I personally want to say thank you for taking the time to pick up this book, whether it was given to you or you purchased it yourself. Although it does have moments of struggles and sadness, A World Interrupted is the kind of book that will inspire, uplift and motivate you in ways that you could have never imagined. I admire the fact that I took stories of struggles and brought them to life and was able to inspire someone in need of a voice. I feel that most of the people reading this book could relate to some of its content or know someone who has been through similar situations. I wrote this book with faith, my heart, hard work, persistence, love, and I’m truly proud of myself, the man that I am becoming, and those that God have put into my life to help me in every step of the way. If I never meet you in passing, please know that you are the reason that I continue to wake up every morning and make it my job to empower and inspire someone in this world to be the best person that they can become. I never wanted to be more than what God has planned for my life. I want to be God’s walking vessel and with that being said, I want to ask people for forgiveness in advance, if I one day act out of character or lose myself in this world trying to find the way back to who I am. We as people get so caught up in what others have created us to be that we never really have time to get to know a person for everything that they are. I don’t want you to ever feel as if I am one of those people who forget that I am human or that you are human or that we all are a work in progress. My sole purpose for writing this book is to empower and inspire people, to help release any built up feelings or pain that someone may have inside them, that they don’t feel like sharing it with others, or maybe they do want to share it with others but don’t know who that other person is. I want to help you find yourself and know that no matter what it is that you have been through, I can relate to not only your pain, but personally to your feelings. In closing, thank you for giving me a chance because chance is the reason I am here today. I may live in A World Interrupted, but one day I know a change is going to come for us all. I will continue to pray to God for strength and courage to do my part and hopefully those of you inspired will walk away attempting to do yours.
With Love,
Chico DaVincci Gillum
Chapter 1
Nobody Told Me the Road
Would Be Easy
I don’t remember who taught me that phrase. Maybe it was my mother. Or maybe it was the lady from the foster home who had me for almost three years while my mother was out living her life. Or, maybe it was my grandmother (my mother’s mother), who adopted me from the foster home and took me to my new home with my other siblings. It could have been my godmother, who will always have a place in my heart because she took me in when nobody else would. I’m not sure who told me that, but she was absolutely right!
I spent years running from life, from the pain, and from the hurt and loneliness that I’ve felt for so long. I didn’t know how to cope with the thought of being by myself, or maybe I didn’t know how to cope with the thought of knowing that I am a living testimony. I’ve heard others tell such powerful stories that it makes me look at life differently, but it gets scary when you realize that your story is powerful too. I found myself sitting in my bed crying like a big baby and not sure why. Was it because I’d just walked away from a job I’d had for three years? Was it because I realized what a huge task I’d taken on by telling myself I would finish this book in thirty days? Or, was it because writing this book made me reflect on almost thirty years of life?
I’m still not sure which it is. I thank God for everything that He brought me through, and the more I wrote, the more weight I felt coming off my shoulders. I guess all I needed was a room, some Adele on the radio and time to write down my thoughts to share with others.
My mother was not the best mother in the world, but she was my mother and I love her for giving me life. I just wished that she could have been in my life more than she was. I wish she had lived differently, but it wasn’t my call or my fault. It took me a long time—I grew up with a lot of guilt blaming myself for what she did—but as I got older, I finally came to the conclusion that my mother wasn’t going to change, no matter how much I ran around crying about it. She was going to live her life on her terms, and I had to live mine.
I was with my foster mother for the first years of my life. I don’t remember everything, but there’s enough. I remember being in this house with an older lady who was so nice. I remember her buying me a cake for my first birthday and everyone who lived in the house was excited (I think more for the cake than they were for me!). I was the youngest child in the house. I really don’t remember if these were her older boys or other foster children or what; I just knew that they were much older than me. Later on after I was out of her care, I reached out to her. It was sad, because she was really sick and didn’t remember me. The next time I tried, her caregiver told me that she had died. I really wish I could have seen her face for the last time but I guess it was not in God’s plan. It was in His plan for her to take me in when she did—if it wasn’t for her I don’t know where I would be.
How did I wind up in foster care with her? Of course I don’t remember being born, but I did hear the rumors and speculations. They said my mother had me in a hotel and left me there to die. Does that hurt? The thought that she left me without any sign of remorse puts my mind in a coma. I was never good at handling the truth when it caused me pain. There is only so much a child can handle, and it hurt me a lot to hear about my mother supposedly abandoning me. What hurt more was what she actually did.
Before she had me, my mother had my two older brothers and my sister. My two older brothers lived with my grandmother under a pretty strict resign. I’m pretty sure my mother wasn’t thinking about having any more kids, but when you’re just living, the unexpected is always to be expected. She didn’t do so well with us as a parent; most of what I remember about her is that she hurt me and my siblings a lot. I remember one day my mother was so upset with me that she took an iron and burnt my arm. I don’t know if she hated me or if she was upset that I survived. I gave her chance after chance and that woman still