Bang Like a Porn Star: Sex Tips from the Pros

CONCLUSION

Introduction

When I was in my twenties, I didn’t know a lot. I didn’t know you had to clean out your hole to get fucked. I would watch porn—before I’d come out and started having experiences with guys—and these guys would just stick their dick in a hole, and it would be clean. I never had friends to tell me, ‘Dude, they need to douche first.’ Over time and over years of having experiences, you learn all these things.

— Rocco Steele, 2016 Grabby winner for Hottest Top

In the days before the internet, a seemingly unfathomable era in which water was free but porn wasn’t, gay men weren’t able to learn about sex simply by exercising a few keystrokes on their laptops. Pre-Grindr and Rentboy, men couldn’t get immediate sexual gratification by browsing an online catalogue of dicks or asses and then ordering in sex the way they can today. (Yes, there were personal ads in now defunct magazines like Advocate Men, but this often involved snail mail and was far from instant.) Instead, they learned as they went, which usually involved studying and following elaborate underground procedures like putting a certain colored handkerchief in a certain back pocket of their trousers. (A dark blue handkerchief in the left pocket meant you were looking to top someone; a mustard colored one in the right meant you were seeking a guy whose cock was eight inches or more). It was quite elaborate—especially for the color blind—and the colors often varied from city to city. Misunderstandings could be wonderfully adventurous or downright disastrous. Putting the wrong color in the wrong pocket could lead to you getting fisted by a big-handed little person instead of sucking the big, fat cock you’d been craving.

Those in major cities often had underground gay bars or bathhouses to go to, but if you lived in Hicksville, the pickings were usually pretty slim. Residents of smaller towns often had to venture to known cruising spots and walk around giving furtive glances to other guys who were walking around giving furtive glances. (Generally speaking, no glance meant no interest. Who knew? Apparently sometimes people just want to go for a walk.) In the best-case scenario, you’d get lucky and find a hot and equally horny guy to play with. Other times, if you were unlucky, you might encounter someone hot and seemingly receptive only to find out he’s a cop who’s being deceptive. This usually led to a trip to the hoosegow, which presented altogether different options for man-on-man sex.

Thankfully, these sorts of hookups—as well as the hanky code— have for the most part gone the way of the dodo. But as a young Rocco Steele learned after his entrée into gay sexual practices via porn, there’s a lot more to homo sex than meets the little eye.

We’ve come a long way, baby. Today’s gay guys have access to much more information about what goes where and what feels good than did the closeted, pre-internet men of the 1960s and seventies, who were often reduced to having sex in the wee hours of the morning behind a bush. (These days if you want a bush, you have to fuck someone older than 40.) In addition to there being infinite options for getting your rocks off—not to mention the fact that swallowing another dude’s dong or having yours swallowed by someone’s ass is no longer punishable by law—we’re now more than ever before able to be open about our sex lives and share our experiences. This, coupled with the strides we’ve made toward legal equality and mainstream acceptance, has led to us being a very sex-positive community. Gone is the gay shame of fifty years ago. Now, being gay is so cool that even some straight guys are wanting in on the action, which has led to bromances, bro jobs, and bud-sex (which is often referred to by its participants as relieving urges or helpin’ a buddy out).

Fun fact: Gay men in 1930s London used a secret language to communicate in public without fear of arrest. Known as Polari, a variation of it was originally spoken by merchant seafarers and those who hung out in late-19th-century pubs near the city’s docks. The verb nosh meant to perform oral sex, anal sex required starters (lube), and a randy comedown was the urge to have sex as drugs were wearing off.

Nowadays we’re bombarded with sex, and there’s an abundance of how-to sources for every possible act. The internet has made experts of all of us. Post something, and it’s presumed to be true. For the uninitiated gay male, there are tons of websites to peruse, books to read, and podcasts to listen to. But how do you know you’re getting the right 411? Accurate information is always best obtained from a licensed professional or someone who lives and breathes the subject. Or in this case, blows the subject.

So, to whom should you go for the best information on how to fuck? How about someone who does it for a living? How about following young Rocco’s example and turning to porn stars for information— only with a twist? That’s right: Instead of watching and having to fill in the blanks yourself, we’re going right to the horse’s mouth.

It makes sense: You learn how to play the piano from a music teacher. A tennis coach helps you better your serve. When you want to improve your skills in the bedroom … or in the darkroom … or at the truck stop … why not turn to the pros—people like Rocco Steele, Tim Kruger, Conner Habib, Boomer Banks, Adam Killian? These are the guys you enjoy watching and wish you could get naked with. These are the guys who have sex the way you want to have sex. Who better to inform you?

This book is a how-to guide on everything from hooking up to getting down and dirty—not to mention keeping it safe—as told by some of today’s hottest gay adult talent. Direct from the mouths—or the cocks, holes, or armpits, whatever the case may be—of these experts comes advice on what to do and what not to do when providing oral pleasure, going for gold, navigating oversized equipment, creating your own home sex video, and more.

The porn stars quoted throughout this book are your guides to a more photogenic sex life. You’ve jerked off to them. Now it’s time to listen to them.

Note: The views and opinions presented in this book are those of the individuals giving them and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the author or publisher.

Do you need help navigating this equipment?

Come Together

Sex is a really great communication tool, and I like to be fluent in it.

— Bruce Beckham

I Love It When We’re Cruising Together

Before you and Mr. Right-Now can cum together, you must first come together. Luckily for you, the song It’s Raining Men is not hyperbolic. There are horny guys looking to hook up literally everywhere. All you have to do is find them. And regardless of whether you’re in the mood for a hot one-off or a meaningful relationship, the methods for coming together are pretty much the same. Don’t roll your eyes; I know plenty of committed couples who met in sex clubs or in an airplane lavatory. (If the latter is your thing, just be sure you don’t generate so much heat that you’re tempted to tamper with, disable, or destroy the smoke detector, because that’s a federal crime.) No matter what you’re into, there is no shortage of places to meet guys—unless, of course, you live in Podunk, USA. But even if you do, all you need to get your rocks off with the dude of your dreams is the internet and some reliable transportation.

Whether you’re a horny technologist using sites like Grindr and Scruff or an old-fashioned type who prefers lurking in public restrooms—no judgment—there are guys looking for sex everywhere you go. Some are super obvious, and some are not so. (And if the idea of sucking off some guy in a filthy bathroom stall seems repellent to you, keep in mind that, as stated in the Introduction, prior to gay liberation, bathhouses and public johns were among the only options guys had for hooking up. Besides, plenty of people find it hot.)

Let’s say you’re into the spontaneity of random sex with a stranger. What types of places make the best cruising spots? Falcon Studios exclusive and Grabby Award–winner (for Hottest Bottom and Hottest Duo [with Ryan Rose], 2015) Johnny V—who, alongside boyfriend Joey D is the founder of porn site American Muscle Hunks—says he enjoys the action at the gym. I love watching dudes strut their stuff and check themselves out in the mirror, he says. "Or better yet, when they check me out in the mirror and then try and hide it—even when they’re caught red-handed."

Do you live around here?

His boyfriend agrees. The gym is the best cruising spot, Joey D says, because everyone is checking each other out whether they’re interested in talking or not.

What’s also great about the gym is that most of the guys you encounter aren’t wearing much. Muscle shirts provide terrific visual access to what’s underneath. Short shorts and/or bulging spandex are not uncommon. Neither are loose basketball shorts worn by freeballers. Don’t be afraid to look. If the hot guy on the bench press next to you didn’t want you staring at his huge cock, he wouldn’t be wearing form-fitting bicycle shorts that show off every delicious vein.

See anything you like?

Spotting the dudes who are there to cruise is pretty easy. Look for the ones who do more walking around than exercising. Or the ones who seem more focused on the room than on their workout. In other words, look for the guys who are doing exactly what you’re doing.

Another perk of cruising the gym is that you don’t have to work very hard to see guys naked. If someone catches your eye, wait for them to finish their workout and then follow them into the locker room. If you’re lucky, they’ll strip down and step in the shower. Or the sauna. Or the steam room. (You might want to avoid the hot tub, though, as people often jerk off in them and shoot their loads, which is not something you should be marinating in.) Take off your clothes and follow. If you like what you see—and he likes what he sees—you’re good to go.

Elsewhere.

Which brings us to a word of warning: Like bars, the gym is for cruising, not for sex. Despite having wet areas, the gym is not a bathhouse. Standing in the shower and stroking your cock while intently staring at someone who simply wants to wash off is inappropriate—and potentially annoying if the person is straight or super religious (or both