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    The Chronicles of Clovis
    The Chronicles of Clovis
    The Chronicles of Clovis
    Ebook234 pages3 hours

    The Chronicles of Clovis

    By Saki

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    "The Chronicles of Clovis" by Saki. Published by Good Press. Good Press publishes a wide range of titles that encompasses every genre. From well-known classics & literary fiction and non-fiction to forgotten−or yet undiscovered gems−of world literature, we issue the books that need to be read. Each Good Press edition has been meticulously edited and formatted to boost readability for all e-readers and devices. Our goal is to produce eBooks that are user-friendly and accessible to everyone in a high-quality digital format.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGood Press
    Release dateNov 19, 2019
    ISBN4057664102751
    Author

    Saki

    Saki (1870-1916) was the pen name of British novelist and short story writer Hector Hugh Munro. Born in British Burma, Munro was the son of Inspector General Charles Augustus Munro of the Indian Imperial Police and his wife Mary Frances Mercer. Following his mother’s death from a tragic accident in 1872, Munro was sent to live in England with his paternal grandmother. In 1893, he returned to Burma to work for the Indian Imperial Police but was forced to resign in just over a year due to serious illness. He moved to London in 1896 to pursue a career as a writer. He found some success as a journalist and soon published The Rise of the Russian Empire (1900), a work of history. Emboldened, he began writing stories and novels, earning praise for Reginald (1904), a short story collection, and When William Came (1913), an invasion novel. Known for his keen wit and satirical outlook on Edwardian life, Munro was considered a master literary craftsman in his time. A gay man, he was forced to conceal his sexual identity in order to avoid criminal prosecution. At 43 years of age, he enlisted in the British cavalry and went to France to fight in the Great War. He was killed by a German sniper at the Battle of the Ancre.

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      Book preview

      The Chronicles of Clovis - Saki

      Saki

      The Chronicles of Clovis

      Published by Good Press, 2019

      goodpress@okpublishing.info

      EAN 4057664102751

      Table of Contents

      INTRODUCTION

      ESMÉ

      THE MATCH-MAKER

      TOBERMORY

      MRS. PACKLETIDE'S TIGER

      THE STAMPEDING OF LADY BASTABLE

      THE BACKGROUND

      HERMANN THE IRASCIBLE—A STORY OF THE GREAT WEEP

      THE UNREST-CURE

      THE JESTING OF ARLINGTON STRINGHAM

      SREDNI VASHTAR

      ADRIAN

      THE CHAPLET

      THE QUEST

      WRATISLAV

      THE EASTER EGG

      FILBOID STUDGE, THE STORY OF A MOUSE THAT HELPED

      THE MUSIC ON THE HILL

      THE STORY OF ST. VESPALUUS

      THE WAY TO THE DAIRY

      THE PEACE OFFERING

      THE PEACE OF MOWSLE BARTON

      THE TALKING-OUT OF TARRINGTON

      THE HOUNDS OF FATE

      THE RECESSIONAL

      A MATTER OF SENTIMENT

      THE SECRET SIN OF SEPTIMUS BROPE

      MINISTERS OF GRACE

      THE REMOULDING OF GROBY LINGTON

      ACKNOWLEDGMENT

      INTRODUCTION

      Table of Contents

      There are good things which we want to share with the world and good things which we want to keep to ourselves. The secret of our favourite restaurant, to take a case, is guarded jealously from all but a few intimates; the secret, to take a contrary case, of our infallible remedy for seasickness is thrust upon every traveller we meet, even if he be no more than a casual acquaintance about to cross the Serpentine. So with our books. There are dearly loved books of which we babble to a neighbour at dinner, insisting that she shall share our delight in them; and there are books, equally dear to us, of which we say nothing, fearing lest the praise of others should cheapen the glory of our discovery. The books of Saki were, for me at least, in the second class.

      It was in the WESTMINSTER GAZETTE that I discovered him (I like to remember now) almost as soon as he was discoverable. Let us spare a moment, and a tear, for those golden days in the early nineteen hundreds, when there were five leisurely papers of an evening in which the free-lance might graduate, and he could speak of his Alma Mater, whether the GLOBE or the PALL MALL, with as much pride as, he never doubted, the GLOBE or the PALL MALL would speak one day of him. Myself but lately down from ST. JAMES', I was not too proud to take some slight but pitying interest in men of other colleges. The unusual name of a freshman up at WESTMINSTER attracted my attention; I read what he had to say; and it was only by reciting rapidly with closed eyes the names of our own famous alumni, beginning confidently with Barrie and ending, now very doubtfully, with myself, that I was able to preserve my equanimity. Later one heard that this undergraduate from overseas had gone up at an age more advanced than customary; and just as Cambridge men have been known to complain of the maturity of Oxford Rhodes scholars, so one felt that this WESTMINSTER free-lance in the thirties was no fit competitor for the youth of other colleges. Indeed, it could not compete.

      Well, I discovered him, but only to the few, the favoured, did I speak of him. It may have been my uncertainty (which still persists) whether he called himself Sayki, Sahki or Sakki which made me thus ungenerous of his name, or it may have been the feeling that the others were not worthy of him; but how refreshing it was when some intellectually blown-up stranger said Do you ever read Saki? to reply, with the same pronunciation and even greater condescension: Saki! He has been my favourite author for years!

      A strange exotic creature, this Saki, to us many others who were trying to do it too. For we were so domestic, he so terrifyingly cosmopolitan. While we were being funny, as planned, with collar-studs and hot-water bottles, he was being much funnier with werwolves and tigers. Our little dialogues were between John and Mary; his, and how much better, between Bertie van Tahn and the Baroness. Even the most casual intruder into one of his sketches, as it might be our Tomkins, had to be called Belturbet or de Ropp, and for his hero, weary man-of-the-world at seventeen, nothing less thrilling than Clovis Sangrail would do. In our envy we may have wondered sometimes if it were not much easier to be funny with tigers than with collar-studs; if Saki's careless cruelty, that strange boyish insensitiveness of his, did not give him an unfair start in the pursuit of laughter. It may have been so; but, fortunately, our efforts to be funny in the Saki manner have not survived to prove it.

      What is Saki's manner, what his magic talisman? Like every artist worth consideration, he had no recipe. If his exotic choice of subject was often his strength, it was often his weakness; if his insensitiveness carried him through, at times, to victory, it brought him, at times, to defeat. I do not think that he has that mastery of the CONTE—in this book at least—which some have claimed for him. Such mastery infers a passion for tidiness which was not in the boyish Saki's equipment. He leaves loose ends everywhere. Nor in his dialogue, delightful as it often is, funny as it nearly always is, is he the supreme master; too much does it become monologue judiciously fed, one character giving and the other taking. But in comment, in reference, in description, in every development of his story, he has a choice of words, a way of putting things which is as inevitably his own vintage as, once tasted, it becomes the private vintage of the connoisseur.

      Let us take a sample or two of Saki, 1911.

      The earlier stages of the dinner had worn off. The wine lists had been consulted, by some with the blank embarrassment of a schoolboy suddenly called upon to locate a Minor Prophet in the tangled hinterland of the Old Testament, by others with the severe scrutiny which suggests that they have visited most of the higher-priced wines in their own homes and probed their family weaknesses.

      Locate is the pleasant word here. Still more satisfying, in the story of the man who was tattooed from collar-bone to waist-line with a glowing representation of the Fall of Icarus, is the word privilege:

      The design when finally developed was a slight disappointment to Monsieur Deplis, who had suspected Icarus of being a fortress taken by Wallenstein in the Thirty Years' War, but he was more than satisfied with the execution of the work, which was acclaimed by all who had the privilege of seeing it as Pincini's masterpiece.

      This story, THE BACKGROUND, and MRS PACKLETIDE'S TIGER seem to me to be the masterpieces of this book. In both of them Clovis exercises, needlessly, his titular right of entry, but he can be removed without damage, leaving Saki at his best and most characteristic, save that he shows here, in addition to his own shining qualities, a compactness and a finish which he did not always achieve. With these I introduce you to him, confident that ten minutes of his conversation, more surely than any words of mine, will have given him the freedom of your house.

      A. A. MILNE.

      ESMÉ

      Table of Contents

      All hunting stories are the same, said Clovis; just as all Turf stories are the same, and all—

      My hunting story isn't a bit like any you've ever heard, said the Baroness. It happened quite a while ago, when I was about twenty-three. I wasn't living apart from my husband then; you see, neither of us could afford to make the other a separate allowance. In spite of everything that proverbs may say, poverty keeps together more homes than it breaks up. But we always hunted with different packs. All this has nothing to do with the story.

      We haven't arrived at the meet yet. I suppose there was a meet, said Clovis.

      Of course there was a meet, said the Baroness; all the usual crowd were there, especially Constance Broddle. Constance is one of those strapping florid girls that go so well with autumn scenery or Christmas decorations in church. 'I feel a presentiment that something dreadful is going to happen,' she said to me; 'am I looking pale?'

      "She was looking about as pale as a beetroot that has suddenly heard bad news.

      'You're looking nicer than usual,' I said, 'but that's so easy for you.' Before she had got the right bearings of this remark we had settled down to business; hounds had found a fox lying out in some gorse-bushes.

      I knew it, said Clovis, in every fox-hunting story that I've ever heard there's been a fox and some gorse-bushes.

      Constance and I were well mounted, continued the Baroness serenely, "and we had no difficulty in keeping ourselves in the first flight, though it was a fairly stiff run. Towards the finish, however, we must have held rather too independent a line, for we lost the hounds, and found ourselves plodding aimlessly along miles away from anywhere. It was fairly exasperating, and my temper was beginning to let itself go by inches, when on pushing our way through an accommodating hedge we were gladdened by the sight of hounds in full cry in a hollow just beneath us.

      "'There they go,' cried Constance, and then added in a gasp, 'In Heaven's name, what are they hunting?'

      "It was certainly no mortal fox. It stood more than twice as high, had a short, ugly head, and an enormous thick neck.

      "'It's a hyaena,' I cried; 'it must have escaped from Lord Pabham's Park.'

      "At that moment the hunted beast turned and faced its pursuers, and the hounds (there were only about six couple of them) stood round in a half-circle and looked foolish. Evidently they had broken away from the rest of the pack on the trail of this alien scent, and were not quite sure how to treat their quarry now they had got him.

      "The hyaena hailed our approach with unmistakable relief and demonstrations of friendliness. It had probably been accustomed to uniform kindness from humans, while its first experience of a pack of hounds had left a bad impression. The hounds looked more than ever embarrassed as their quarry paraded its sudden intimacy with us, and the faint toot of a horn in the distance was seized on as a welcome signal for unobtrusive departure. Constance and I and the hyaena were left alone in the gathering twilight.

      "'What are we to do?' asked Constance.

      "'What a person you are for questions,' I said.

      "'Well, we can't stay here all night with a hyaena,' she retorted.

      "'I don't know what your ideas of comfort are,' I said; 'but I shouldn't think of staying here all night even without a hyaena. My home may be an unhappy one, but at least it has hot and cold water laid on, and domestic service, and other conveniences which we shouldn't find here. We had better make for that ridge of trees to the right; I imagine the Crowley road is just beyond.'

      "We trotted off slowly along a faintly marked cart-track, with the beast following cheerfully at our heels.

      "'What on earth are we to do with the hyaena?' came the inevitable question.

      "'What does one generally do with hyaenas?' I asked crossly.

      "'I've never had anything to do with one before,' said Constance.

      "'Well, neither have I. If we even knew its sex we might give it a name. Perhaps we might call it Esmé. That would do in either case.'

      "There was still sufficient daylight for us to distinguish wayside objects, and our listless spirits gave an upward perk as we came upon a small half-naked gipsy brat picking blackberries from a low-growing bush. The sudden apparition of two horsewomen and a hyaena set it off crying, and in any case we should scarcely have gleaned any useful geographical information from that source; but there was a probability that we might strike a gipsy encampment somewhere along our route. We rode on hopefully but uneventfully for another mile or so.

      "'I wonder what that child was doing there,' said Constance presently.

      "'Picking blackberries. Obviously.'

      "'I don't like the way it cried,' pursued Constance; 'somehow its wail keeps ringing in my ears.'

      "I did not chide Constance for her morbid fancies; as a matter of fact the same sensation, of being pursued by a persistent fretful wail, had been forcing itself on my rather over-tired nerves. For company's sake I hulloed to Esmé, who had lagged somewhat behind. With a few springy bounds he drew up level, and then shot past us.

      "The wailing accompaniment was explained. The gipsy child was firmly, and I expect painfully, held in his jaws.

      "'Merciful Heaven!' screamed Constance, 'what on earth shall we do? What are we to do?'

      "I am perfectly certain that at the Last Judgment Constance will ask more questions than any of the examining Seraphs.

      "'Can't we do something?' she persisted tearfully, as Esmé cantered easily along in front of our tired horses.

      "Personally I was doing everything that occurred to me at the moment. I stormed and scolded and coaxed in English and French and gamekeeper language; I made absurd, ineffectual cuts in the air with my thongless hunting-crop; I hurled my sandwich case at the brute; in fact, I really don't know what more I could have done. And still we lumbered on through the deepening dusk, with that dark uncouth shape lumbering ahead of us, and a drone of lugubrious music floating in our ears. Suddenly Esmé bounded aside into some thick bushes, where we could not follow; the wail rose to a shriek and then stopped altogether. This part of the story I always hurry over, because it is really rather horrible. When the beast joined us again, after an absence of a few minutes, there was an air of patient understanding about him, as though he knew that he had done something of which we disapproved, but which he felt to be thoroughly justifiable.

      "'How can you let that ravening beast trot by your side?' asked Constance. She was looking more than ever like an albino beetroot.

      "'In the first place, I can't prevent it,' I said; 'and in the second place, whatever else he may be, I doubt if he's ravening at the present moment.'

      "Constance shuddered. 'Do you think the poor little thing suffered much?' came another of her futile questions.

      "'The indications were all that way,' I said; 'on the other hand, of course, it may have been crying from sheer temper. Children sometimes do.'

      "It was nearly pitch-dark when we emerged suddenly into the highroad. A flash of lights and the whir of a motor went past us at the same moment at uncomfortably close quarters. A thud and a sharp screeching yell followed a second later. The car drew up, and when I had ridden back to the spot I found a young man bending over a dark motionless mass lying by the roadside.

      "'You have killed my Esmé,' I exclaimed bitterly.

      "'I'm so awfully sorry,' said the young man; I keep dogs myself, so I know what you must feel about it. I'll do anything I can in reparation.'

      "'Please bury him at once,' I said; 'that much I think I may ask of you.'

      "'Bring the spade, William,' he called to the chauffeur. Evidently hasty roadside interments were contingencies that had been provided against.

      "The digging of a sufficiently large grave took

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