Surviving Their Love

CHAPTER ONE

I’m also known as Wolf. My full spiritual given name is Grey Wolf The Spirit Warrior. I received this name in a Native American Ceremony, by a Native American Shaman. I have studied Shamanic healing and many other forms of healing; I have spent lots of time with Shamanic healers and learnt so much from them. The Native American way is with respect and Honour, and I live my life by this code, I have many certifications in healing practices. But God/Great Spirit, does not do certification. we are all healers, it’s just some of us practise more than others. All my friends call me Wolf and I am honoured to be called that, A Wolf protects his pack, family and friends. He is brave and loyal to his clan and would lay down his life for those he loves. Some of my Spirit Guides are wolves, and they guide and protect me. My path is the way of the warrior, and I have chosen to walk this path. We all choose our life path, we always have choices, so choose well, make changes where necessary, learn and teach well. You are the one in charge, it’s your story, so live it well. EVERY PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION, so find your solutions, and remember, THERE IS NO HEALING IN SECRETS.

The reason I have written this book is because I wanted to try to show people who have had experiences similar to mine, that you can make your life your own, you can make your life better, no matter what has happened to you. Too many times I have heard my Father or my Mother, He/she did this or that, said this or that, made me feel, took away from me, made me do, I was helpless, they broke my trust, and much, much more.

When we were children that was possible, but now we are adults we are the people in control of what we do and say we are responsible for all our actions be they verbal or physical, So take control of yourself and make your life better, change the things that are hurting you, but first you must change your idea of you, and your thought processes that make you feel LESS THAN. Only you can do this, if you put you energy into making your life better and the lives of those who love and trust you, instead of destroying everything around you, it is possible to find your true reason for being here. You are the only power in your life, and only you, can make the difference between a happy peaceful life, and a life of hardship and misery. If you are not happy nobody around you will be either. I would like to try and suggest to you a new way, a way to walk happily on this planet with new ways of thinking, a new mindset, and a better, joyful, free feeling, that shows you your road and path to self contentment and peace. In this book you will read about my life and personal hardships. You will read about abuse, sorrow and loss, but this is a story of triumph and success. I hope you will empathise with some of my experiences and respond to the stimulation and courage.

The way of the warrior is not about fighting and killing, blood or guts, it is about honour and self respect. My path is about peace, kindness and gentleness, in a place where Honour, love, and respect seems to have disappeared. The way of the warrior is to love and protect, to help those who require it, and to lead with honour, respect and love, this is my way and the way of all great warriors gone before me. I want to teach you that fear is your only enemy, and you are worthy of a peaceful and loving life.

But first, we need to try strip away all negative thoughts, and behaviours or anything that does not serve you or the good of the people who truly love you. We are all one spirit, coming from the same place we are all connected, what harm we do to others we also do to ourselves. So let’s make the place where we are, into the place we want it to be, not a place where we do penance, to change your life you must change the way we act or behave and have some belief in yourself, and your own ability. Know you can be anything you want to be and do anything you want to do. you do not need degrees or diplomas. You are your own teacher, when we make mistakes, we learn, and this is the hard way!!! We don’t need to make mistakes to learn, we need to trust our own intuition. We need to clear our minds of dis-ease Our paths are one of beauty, and we are blessed with all we need and could ever want. But we are lost in the belief we are missing something, and we need more, so we continue to be victims, believing we never got what we deserved, always missing out, and being hard done by. When something happens to someone else, we say they are either luckier than us, or they don’t deserve it. We are not happy unless we can empathise with their bad luck or misfortune. So it seems that life is unfair. We come from two people who came from two other sets of people and so on backwards to all our ancestors, they were thought different things in different times, these teachings are taught to us by our parents, who learned from theirs, and some teachings are not relevant for us or our time, the conditioning we inherit is ridiculous, but the cycle goes on until we wake up and take control of our own minds, until we break cycles and begin to open our hearts and minds, I believe if you expect nothing, then everything received is a surprise. Even in defeat, we learn something, and our misfortune is due to the fact we are taught to believe we are not good enough to be fortunate enough! So we miss it, This lifetime is but a blink of the eye in terms of time and space. There are millions of years gone before and more that will come after us, it is testament to the fact that our time here, won’t even make a ripple in time. So for the short time we are here, why not make it as happy as you can, remember, if you are not happy, no one around you will be!!! SO LETS START THERE!!! At the beginning with you, change your mind, and be happy.

CHAPTER TWO

To begin a book like this is difficult, so I think I will try from this direction. I am a 57 year old man, and I have studied many forms of religion. I was raised a Catholic, but as I grew, I understood this religion was not based in truth. I believe in Jesus Christ and his father (Great Spirit). I believe that Jesus was one of the greatest healers of our time. He was very special in that he believed in who he was. He taught many lessons right up until his death, and in death, he showed that the spirit (soul) lives on. we are all part of the same spirit; we are all connected. We are in Great Spirit, and Great Spirit is in all of us. We are one with everything. Spirit is energy and energy is everywhere so we are everywhere, think of yourself as a drop of water, when you die this single drop of water goes back to its source, so let’s say that’s an ocean, when the drop hits the water it becomes part of the whole again, it’s not separate it’s connected to everything, I like to think that’s why our loved ones who have passed on are still with us because they are pure energy again, A LITTLE DROP THAT BECOMES AN OCEAN. To believe in yourself is sometimes very difficult when you were taught to believe something different, but believe you are the most important person in your life!!! This does not mean you do what you want, and it’s all about you. The most important thing to remember, is we are all connected, so what you do, reflects on everyone and everything in your life. It’s very easy to be angry, but it takes courage to be honest. When you are wrong admit it, and try to accept responsibility for your actions, then you make amends and heal the mind and the heart. We were taught that the trinity was God the father, Son and holy ghost, we are in fact the real trinity, we are MIND BODY AND SPIRIT/SOUL, if any of this trinity is out of balance then we are in trouble, so it’s important to take care of yourself, mind yourself, take time out to heal and restore your mind, body or spirit, when we are peaceful we function better, in any stressful situation we need to be calm, You need to have total control of yourself, your mind, your actions you are totally responsible for. Nobody can make you do what they want you too. Your decision is yours. Unfortunately, we are all bound in conditioning!

When we arrive into this life, we are perfect forms of Great Spirit. We are totally honest, when we need something, we let it be known, we cry, smile, and show we are here and command attention. There is nothing so beautiful as your baby, your child. We are here to love and protect their life, and hopefully teach this child to be the best they can be, and hopefully the best version of themselves as they grow into adulthood. We don’t own our children; we only have a loan of them. Hopefully we teach them well, and set them free to live their lives. I was born in 1962. When I was 2 years old, we moved to Finglas which is on the outskirts of the North side of Dublin City. My big sister was two years older than me and even then she minded me. She was just a baby herself. We were always close, and we loved each other very much. My Mother was about 21 years old, and my Father was about 23 years old. My mother was blonde and very beautiful, my Dad was a dark haired man and very handsome, but he was a very angry man, and very possessive of my mother. I can remember shouting and fighting even then. So I grew up with noise, it became the norm. As I grew, I was told and taught to protect my sister, and as the other children came along I would protect them too. So if you hurt my brothers or sisters, you answered to me. One day my sister came in crying, some boy had hit her. So my father gave me a hammer to go and hit the boy with it. I was just going out the door, when my mother stopped me, and took the hammer from me, but my father sent me out anyway, I was maybe 4 or 5 years old. I hit the boy for hitting my sister he never hit her again. I gained a bad reputation and had no friends. The local mothers were afraid that I would do something bad to their children. I remember many years later as an adult, a friend’s mother said to me, You were a little bastard, the kids and their parents were afraid of you, because you would hit them with anything that came to hand! I loved this woman, she was a kind lady, and I spent many a day in my friend’s home, the fact I had a crush on my friend’s sister was another reason why I spent so much time there. One night when I was about fifteen, I sang outside her window, ‘more than a woman’ by the Bee Gee’s. I never got to kiss her, but I did