Mending Hearts: Healing from Separation and Loss, a Collection of True Stories
By Mengzhen Lim
()
About this ebook
An edited collection of 143 true stories and photos from students and members of the general public of many ages and backgrounds. Share in the experiences of these heartfelt real-life accounts, each telling the end of a relationship—be it in romance, friendship, or family. These stories help normalise breakups and inspire readers to move forward and find their way back to healing and happiness.
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Mending Hearts - Mengzhen Lim
Mending Hearts
Healing from Separation and Loss,
a Collection of True Stories
Eds.
Mengzhen Lim
Grace Yap
Praise for Mending Hearts
"Mending Hearts will help assure readers that they are not alone in their pain and despair. Most importantly, Mending Hearts will reassure readers that they too will live to tell their stories and bring comfort to others in similar journeys."
Hannah Yeoh
MP for Segambut, Malaysia; former Deputy Minister for Women, Family and Community Development
"Mending Hearts … These beautifully crafted vignettes occupying a single page with a visual and the story behind it had me going through a myriad of emotions. Each page a different experience. Each page a different memory. Memories that I have experienced and am still experiencing. But then you turn another page and you realise, ‘have I really experienced anything?’ I must confess that as a filmmaker I was tempted to steal some ideas from here, but I think Mending Hearts stole my heart instead. At least I know I can always find it within these pages …"
Kabir Bhatia
Filmmaker, Cinta and Pulang
Humans naturally want an answer to every question. However, there are no answers to certain questions in life. These real stories of love, hope, pain, grief, trauma, letting go, moving on, and growth—in images and words—are very powerful, and evoke strong emotions. My eyes teared up within the first few pages. I’d like to thank the story contributors for allowing us into their intimate world, and for their courage in letting go and moving forward. To those of you who are still feeling trapped, it’s your right to mourn your loss. I hope you will find strength one day.
Kenny Lim
Executive Director, Befrienders Kuala Lumpur
"Mending Hearts reminds me that while breakups are difficult, it’s also a phase in life where letting go is both an end and a new beginning to exciting possibilities ahead. Hats off to Mengzhen Lim for compiling this and sharing with readers that they are not alone, that breakups happen to other people and may happen to you. It’s part and parcel of life.
As the popular adage goes: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You all are stronger than you know."
Geegee Ahmad
TV Host, Astro Awani, Malaysia
Relationships are never easy. You have at least three perspectives to balance: your own, your partner’s, and the one you share as a couple. Every story is different, and it is in these small differences we could discover the universal longing that we all have—the longing to love and be loved. This young scholar, Mr Lim Mengzhen has curated and edited a beautiful book about love, desire, and separation. The concept is simple, yet this collection of short anecdotes does not only speak to our minds, but our hearts as well. Highly recommended!
Hazman Baharom
Senior Publications Officer, Parliament of Malaysia; Author and Translator
Mengzhen Lim’s compilation of stories of broken hearts provides insight into the oft-hidden world of heartbreak, loss, and pain that comes from broken relationships. For the reader, these authentic first-person stories of finding a way back to happiness and moving forward to healing help normalise breakups in a world that provides little guidance for this journey. This book may be the catalyst that spurs one from being a mere survivor to a healthy thriven Thank you for this gift to all who are brave enough to risk both love and loss.
Patti Hill, PhD
Psychologist; Adjunct Academic, the University of Alberta;
Vice President, Lions Club International
Our first breakups are often the most emotionally devastating. This collection of images and stories helps readers of all ages and all countries feel a little more normal and a lot less alone. The power from hearing about a person’s real story is sometimes the best medicine. This book is good medicine.
Traci Ruble
Psychotherapist and Founder of Sidewalk Talk
"Mending Hearts chronicles breakups in all their forms—from romantic breakups to the premature departure of a family member or pet. Though these experiences will differ in several ways, Mending Hearts reminds us that the core feeling behind these breakups—loss—is often the same. Simultaneously, it normalises the wide range of emotions one might experience following a romantic breakup, including sadness and depression, but also relief and acceptance. Most importantly, the book offers the lessons its anonymous contributors have learned, so that we might avoid their mistakes in the future. All in all, an enlightening read with some real nuggets of wisdom."
Ella Hesketh
BSc Psychology Graduate, Lancaster University
"Hooked from the first story—my experiences were reflected back to me. Mending Hearts reminds us we are not alone in being alone. The stories we share of our painful experiences connect us at a deeper level, and like any injury, wounds heal to leave a scar. We can learn from our mistakes and treasure them as stories."
Jaime Benjamin, PhD
Evolutionary Psychologist, Lancaster University
Reading through the brief glimpses of love lost in Mengzhen’s book took me through a rollercoaster of emotions—sorrow, sadness, grief, but also pride, joy and, most importantly, hope. Thank you Mengzhen for allowing us to be a part of this journey together with the brave souls who were the subject of this book. We are all human, after all.
Aziph Mustapha
Head of Culture Transformation, Celcom Axiata, Malaysia; TEDx speaker
"In a completely novel and amazing way, Mending Hearts allows us to share very sensitive thoughts and feelings that are usually hidden. We are able to grow as humans by learning deeply about the sorrows of breakups and bereavement that no one can avoid."
Maki Hirayama
Associate Professor, Meiji University; Japanese Sociologist
A realistic insight into the trials and tribulations of lost love and its consequences. This book feels like a reassuring embrace from those who have survived heartbreak, while providing an opportunity to reflect on your relationships.
Rebecca James
MSc, Psychology Student, Lancaster University
Mending Hearts: Healing from Separation and Loss, a Collection of True StoriesTo Aya Tabata
and
To those who have been braver, lovelier, and wiser through relationship crises.
Copyright © 2022 by Sunway University Sdn Bhd
Published by Dialogy Books
An imprint of Sunway University Sdn Bhd
No. 5, Jalan Universiti
Bandar Sunway
47500 Selangor Darul Ehsan
Malaysia
press.sunway.edu.my
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, now known or hereafter invented, without permission in writing from the publisher.
eISBN 978-967-5492-70-9
Perpustakaan Negara Malaysia Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
Lim, Mengzhen
Mending Hearts : Healing from Separation and Loss, a Collection of True Stories / Mengzhen Lim, Grace Yap.
Mode of access: Internet
eISBN 978-967-5492-70-9
1. Conduct of life—Anecdotes.
2. Emotions—Anecdotes.
3. Love—Anecdotes.
4. Families—Anecdotes.
5. Electronic books.
I. Title.
808.882
Edited by Nicholas Hoe
Designed and typeset by Rachel Goh
Ebook formatting by Teaspoon Publishing
The stories in this book are personal submissions from external contributors. While the content has been edited for brevity and clarity, the views and opinions expressed do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of the publisher.
Any products featured are for illustrative purposes only and may not be their actual representations. They do not constitute nor imply an endorsement of the products by the publisher.
Cover image: phochi/Shutterstock.com
Image used under license from Shutterstock.com
Table of Contents
Foreword
From the Editors
Introduction
1. STILL STUCK
2. I’LL BE THERE
3. STILL A BOY
4. SHE JUST DISAPPEARED
5. I FLIP A COIN EVERY TIME I MISS YOU
6. MY SIXTH SENSE TOLD ME HE NO LONGER LOVED ME
7. I STILL LOOK OUT OF THE PATIO DOOR...
8. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE YOU ALLOW OTHERS TO LOVE YOU
9. I AM SORRY FOR GIVING UP ON YOU
10. I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL
11. RIGHT TIME, BUT WRONG PERSON
12. GOOD THAT YOU WERE BESIDE ME
13. THESE FLOWERS DIED, JUST LIKE OUR RELATIONSHIP
14. HE WANTED TO BE SINGLE
15. NOT MY STYLE AT ALL
16. A SYMBOL OF HOPE
17. I CHOSE TO LET GO
18. CHEAPSKATE WHO ONLY WANTED BENEFITS
19. I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD
20. WE DID NOT HAVE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP TO LOVE EACH OTHER
21. OUR LOVE DIED IN PEACE
22. BETTER OFF WITHOUT IT
23. IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME
24. JUST KEEPS TICKING
25. WE WERE NOT BRAVE ENOUGH
26. WE BOTH TOOK EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED
27. WISH I COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN
28.