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    Altared Boy
    Altared Boy
    Altared Boy
    Ebook92 pages3 hours

    Altared Boy

    By David R. Lewis

    ()

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    About this ebook

    About the Author


    David Lewis is a retired, decorated Lieutenant-Commander of the Royal Canadian Navy. Having retired just before COVID came to visit, he was forced to stay home with limited options for personal productivity. Perhaps it was time for him to paint and to wr

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDavid Lewis
    Release dateApr 15, 2022
    ISBN9781778132100
    Altared Boy
    Author

    David R. Lewis

    A cop, artist, musician, firearms instructor, fishing guide, public speaker, ranch hand, radio personality and novelist, David R. Lewis has seen life through many eyes and from many perspectives. From childhood on the banks of the Sangamon River to adulthood on a metropolitan police department, through hardscrabble years deep in the Ozark Mountains to working in broadcasting, David has gathered a wealth of life experience that is as evident in his words as it is on his face. David lives with his wife, Laura, in the country outside Kansas City on seven miles of bad road, where he watches turkeys, dodges deer, argues with two Australian cattle dogs, and devotes his time to writing.

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      Book preview

      Altared Boy - David R. Lewis

      Altared Boy

      Altared Boy

      Altared Boy

      David Lewis

      publisher logo

      Battle Rattle Press

      Contents

      Dedication

      PREFACE

      FORWARD

      KABUL, AFGHANISTAN AND THE MELTING SNOW

      MEMORIES AND MANNEQUINS

      LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI AND PAPERED WINDOWS

      PAPER JESUS AND SATIN SLIPS

      FORT BENNING, GEORGIA AND THE MOP BUCKET

      SAN ANGELO, TEXAS AND THE LAWN MOWER

      INTERMITTANT LIGHT AND THE NORMALITY OF DARKNESS

      EIN GEDI, ISRAEL AND ROAD TRIPS

      TOMBSTONE, ARIZONA AND THE BLUE CHAIRS

      BATTLE OF SHILO, TENNESSEE AND SHATTERED STUDIES

      DUBAI, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES AND WATTER

      THE BERLIN WALL AND TAMPONS

      THE GREEN BEAN AND A SMALL STEP

      YORKVILLE VILLAGE, TORONTO, AND THE RETURN OF CEILING TILES

      BALLAST AND BARNACLES

      STOCKHOLM AND MY OWN SKIN

      THE PATH FORWARD AND A PERCEIVED END-STATE

      About The Author

      Dedication

      Dedicated without hesitation or reservation to the love of my life, my wife Sherrie. Thank you for a lifetime of understanding, patience, inspiration and love.

      And to my kiddos, Sarah, Benjamin, Jerusha, Nathaniel, and Rebecca. (Y’all are wonderful, but kind of weird children. I think you get it from your mother.)

      And to my granddaughter Ella. (You, my dearest, are perfect. I think you get it from your Papa.)

      Copyright © 2022 David Lewis

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopying, and recording or otherwise – without prior written permission from the author.  The exception would be brief passages by a reviewer in a newspaper or magazine or online. To perform any of the above is an infringement of copyright law.

      ISBN: 978-1-7781321-0-0

      Printed and bound in Montreal, QC, Canada

      Published by Battle Rattle Press

      WARNING:

      Altared Boy deals with issues of church sexual abuse which some readers may find disturbing. If you find any of the content triggering, or need to talk to someone, confidential 24-hour support is available.

      Canada Suicide Prevention Service - toll free number 1.833.456.4566. Available 24x7x365.

      Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 686868 in Canada to text with a trained Crisis Responder.

      Kids Help Line – Text CONNECT to 686868 from anywhere in Canada, any time, about anything.

      PREFACE

      This book has been germinating in my soul for over 20 years, but it has only been in the last two years that I have chosen to put pen to paper. My hesitancy has always been the misplaced empathy of not wanting to hurt those who hurt me, and it is still a concern as I attempt to carefully craft every word.

      The few I have disclosed my past to have routinely suggested I write a book as a vehicle of personal therapy. I've always dismissed those suggestions, as I viewed writing about myself as a gratuitous and futile effort. What could be gained? What would the end game be? What good would it do? It was then that a close friend reached into the darkness and turned on the light by suggesting that it might help others who have travelled the same path.

      And so, I began. The dreaded blank page staring at me, and me staring back. A standoff. Who would break first? One word, and then two. I began to jot down a few words of my different memories in point form. Papered window. Blue chair. Lawnmower. They all had meaning. And the more words I jotted, the more they seemed to connect to other memories I had forgotten. One memory linked inexorably to another, and then another. I ended up with a ruthless and relentless body of flashbacks that must be stitched together into a coherent story.

      As I sat looking at the notes that represented the abuse, they triggered memories of other times in my life when I had recalled that same abuse. This pairing became the format by which I tell my story. It is a patchwork quilt of my life. A life that is occasionally and savagely attacked at the most inopportune times by merciless flashbacks. And this is the ongoing curse of those sexually assaulted as young children. The realization that it didn't end there, and it never ends.

      You are a different 'you.' One that will never know the 'you' whom you would have been. It is not the end; it is a beginning. It is possible to draw strength from events that were neither your fault nor your creation. It is not ideal, but what in life is? The simple acknowledgement can be a platform for the launch of personal healing, reconciliation with your memories, and even forgiveness. Forgiveness is important, as much to the forgiver as to the forgiven.

      I had an old pair of jeans which had numerous holes in them. (And not in the modern pre-torn fashion statement manner.) They were work jeans and comfortable, so I hated to toss them out. My wife sat one evening and stitched up all the torn spots. Pulling seams together, creating patches, she worked her seamstress magic. The damage was much less noticeable when she passed them back to me. I could wear them again, and they fit well because they were my jeans, formed to me, which had been part of my life for a long time. As I wore them again, I noticed that the strongest part of this garment was the places previously torn apart. Had they never been torn, they would never be this strong.

      David Lewis

      FORWARD

      By Nancy O’Grady

      Almost all my childhood memories involve some aspect of religiosity. My Irish-Catholic father worked overtime to mitigate any untoward influence that my Protestant (subtextual heathen) mother may have wielded over me and my assured heavenly afterlife. Overcompensation by my father assured that we were a Catholic-and-then-some family, even though my mother did not participate. Elementary school was no-brainer Catholic. With no Catholic secondary school in our town, my classmates and I would eventually be thrust into the public system where it was hoped that our Catholic souls would be adequately equipped to repel most things secular

      We were a close-knit group of students that entered Catholic kindergarten together and, in most cases, exited grade eight together. We learned together, played at recess together, went to birthday parties together, passed surreptitious notes when teachers’ backs were turned, gossiped together, rode bikes together and amplified our Catholic belief systems when we saw each other at Sunday Mass and sat giggling during weekly Mass in the school library. Didn’t everyone in our class live basically the same lives? We attended school, Sunday Mass, we had our First Communions together and we

      participated in the sacrifice of Confirmation together. We were faithful. We looked up to the priests. Our priests were role models. In ways

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