Pray without Ceasing: Revitalizing Pastoral Care

Preface

This book had its genesis in two hospital stays. During the first, I was a student chaplain undertaking Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). Twenty years later, I was a patient recovering from emergency surgery. In each case, a minister of the Gospel gave me the gift of prayer and pastoral care at a time of personal need. I am indebted to these two Christian ministers: the Reverend John N. Simpson, my CPE supervisor, whose insight and practical wisdom were used by God to call me into ministry; and the Reverend Deborah K. Davis, chaplain at Princeton Medical Center, whose compassionate presence and prayers sustained me.

I am also indebted to Princeton Theological Seminary for its generous sabbatical and research assistance policies. Special thanks are due to Theresa Latini, at the time a Ph.D. candidate in practical theology, who provided editorial suggestions in preparing the manuscript. I am also grateful for the opportunities I had to present this material in various stages of its development. I would like to express my appreciation for warm hospitality to the First Presbyterian Church of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina; the National Association of Presbyterian Korean Women, Seoul, Korea; Furman University’s Pastors’ School, Greenville, South Carolina; the Presbytery of New Brunswick, New Jersey; the Northeast Region of the American Association of Pastoral Counselors; the program in Continuing Education at Princeton Theological Seminary; and my home church, Nassau Presbyterian Church in Princeton, New Jersey. I also remember with thanks the students who have taken my course called Prayer and Pastoral Care; their thirst for learning has been a source of ongoing encouragement.

I would also like to acknowledge the support of the editorial staff at Eerdmans Publishing Company. I am especially indebted to my editor, Mary Hietbrink, for her clarity, skill, and attentiveness to detail. As to William B. himself, as he is affectionately known in our home, I owe him more thanks than can be easily summarized. His inimitable style of doing business brings endless delight; his professional judgment, profound respect and gratitude.

Finally, I am grateful to my husband, George Hunsinger, not only for his comments in reading the manuscript, but also for thirty years of rich theological conversation. His companionship and support in our shared vocation has made my life’s work a joy. This book is dedicated to him with all my love.

Introduction

Praying with those in need is at the heart of the Christian life. The New Testament urges us to bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), to confess our sins and pray for one another (James 5:16), to encourage one another (1 Thess. 5:11), and to care for one another (1 Cor. 12:25). Throughout the history of the church, Christians have undertaken ministries of intercessory prayer, visitation of the sick, and small groups that share the joys and hardships of the members’ common life in Christ. Such ministries of mutual edification, support, and prayer are the work of the whole church, an undertaking of the priesthood of all believers. When individuals are upheld by one another in Christ, nurtured by the Word of God, and knit spiritually into a common body, they are blessed with vitality as they reach out to a world in need.

Pastoral care denotes first of all the theologically informed and spiritually attuned care that pastors offer their congregations in times of special need. Pastors learn how to listen to people in crisis, to discern their needs, both spoken and unspoken, and to offer intercessory prayer on their behalf. One of the aims of this book is to assist ordained ministers in these tasks. At the same time, however, it also endeavors to provide them with resources to train their congregations in ministries of mutual prayer and pastoral care so that this work might include all the people of God.

Ministers need a working theology of prayer that will foster the training of their congregations at every level. Spiritual practices need to be recovered throughout the church’s common life, for they are the lifeline of its relationship with God and the heart of its fellowship in Christ. Ordained ministers are not merely providers of pastoral care but, more importantly, those who equip their congregations to provide it. The New Testament envisions a ministry to which all are called. By virtue of their baptism, all Christians are called to bear one another’s burdens, to intercede on behalf of others, and to build each other up. The Reformation teaching on the priesthood of all believers insists that ministry belongs first not to a clerical elite, but to the entire body of Christ. The spiritual bonds that knit a community together depend upon the work of prayer through the Holy Spirit. Ministry that begins in mutual care and common prayer leads to a common mission.

This book offers theological reflection to assist congregational leaders as they develop mutual care, accountability, and prayer in their churches. As an exercise in practical theology, it aims to build up the body of Christ. It commends organizing congregations into small groups, provides guidance for study groups in spiritual formation, and assists deacons in their ministries of visitation and prayer. It is designed to be used in a variety of teaching and training situations in the church.

Many people in the North American church today are uncomfortable in praying with others. Even those who pray privately may be averse to praying with others aloud. Few churches encourage young people to pray together except in the context of formal worship. Parents, themselves ill-equipped, may feel embarrassed about praying with their children; if they pray with them at all, it is usually confined to a memorized grace before meals or bedtime prayer. Even deacons who have taken on a ministry of visiting the sick can feel self-conscious when it comes to praying with another. The culture of many churches, especially in the mainline denominations, fosters a feeling that such spiritual sharing is too private and that praying together is too frighteningly intimate. Moreover, many do not know where to turn in the Bible for wisdom and guidance. Because a whole generation has been poorly equipped, many Christians find themselves unable to pray with others at the core of their need.

Until recently, many Protestant seminaries neglected teaching about prayer except as something of historical interest. Yet even with rising interest in spirituality, rare is the course that focuses on the theoretical and practical issues of prayer and pastoral care. As a result, seminary graduates who pray do so with some uncertainty about what they are doing and why. A clearer understanding is needed. One place seminarians might receive concrete training in prayer and pastoral care is in Clinical Pastoral Education.¹ Some CPE students are encouraged by their supervisors not only to pray with their patients or parishioners but also to reflect critically on these practices. Yet in other programs, students are actively discouraged from doing so — sometimes actually forbidden to do so.

In theological education, observes Craig Dykstra, spiritual practices need to be identified, studied, and pursued. This is especially true today, he writes, when this task has been singularly neglected. Finding a way to lift up Christian practices, to describe them, analyze them, interpret them, evaluate them, and aid in their reformation, is a responsibility of practical theology.² For the practices of the Christian community are the embodiment of its living traditions. This book offers a theological framework to guide churches in this task.

Recently efforts have been made to recover the classical tradition of pastoral care.³ After decades of deriving their assumptions from other disciplines, most notably the various psychotherapeutic schools, pastoral theologians are recognizing that pastoral care has its own uniqueness rooted in two thousand years of theological reflection and pastoral practice.⁴ Basic Christian doctrine (e.g., the Trinity, Christology, justification, sanctification, vocation, eschatology, and ecclesiology) has profound implications for pastoral practice. Yet for more than a generation, pastoral theology has largely ignored — or simply taken for granted — this heritage as it has mined various secular disciplines for the insight offered there. While the gains should not be minimized, there also have been losses. Chief among them is confusion about what makes Christian ministry distinctive in relation to other helping professions. When one discipline derives its presuppositions and methods from another, it loses its way. Pastoral care is no exception. In recent years, however, pastoral theologians have begun to recover the richness of Christian doctrine for their reflection on pastoral work, as Thomas Oden points out:

Pastors … are rediscovering the distinctiveness of pastoral method as distinguished from other methods of inquiry (historical, philosophical, literary, psychological, etc.). Pastoral care is a unique enterprise that has its own distinctive subject-matter (care of souls); its own methodological premise (revelation); its own way of inquiring into its subject-matter (attentiveness to the revealed Word through Scripture and its consensual tradition of exegesis); its own criteria of scholarly authenticity (accountability to canonical text and tradition); its own way of knowing (listening to sacred Scripture with the historic church); its own mode of cultural analysis (with worldly powers bracketed and divine providence appreciated); and its own logic (internal consistency premised upon revealed truth).⁵

When theology is taken seriously, pastoral care recovers its distinctiveness. It locates itself anew as faith seeking understanding. Starting from faith, it inquires about the cure of souls. It attends to the spiritual needs of particular people in specific Christian communities:

The cure of souls thus means in general, concern for the individual in the light of God’s purpose for him, of the divine promise and claim addressed to him, of the witness specially demanded of him. God is the One who is primarily and properly concerned about souls. They are always in His hand. Yet in His service, in the ministry of witness committed to His people, there is a corresponding human concern, … a mutua consolatio fratum.⁶

Being instructed by Scripture, pastoral care assumes that our deepest need — which offers the vital cure — is for God and one another:

The cure of souls understood in this special sense as the individual cure of souls means a concrete actualisation of the participation of the one in the particular past, present and future of the other, in his particular burdens and afflictions, but above all in his particular promise and hope in the singularity of his existence as created and sustained by God.⁷

From the perspective of Christian faith, God addresses each person in adversity as well as prosperity, and calls us to share both our sorrow and our joy with one another (Rom. 12:15). As we accompany one another in Christian faith, we are called to participate in one another’s lives in concrete ways, sharing not only the burdens and afflictions but also the promise and hope of each life created and sustained by God. Discerning the call of God in and through every circumstance of life is impossible apart from meditating on the word of God as mediated through Scripture. In our life of faith, we rely on the leading of the Spirit in and through the biblical Word. We turn to Scripture as we seek to support one another in listening for God’s guidance. We listen to each other having first listened to God. Pastoral care for others begins with seeking God.

If we are to intercede for others meaningfully, we must consider their need. Discernment of another’s true need requires compassionate presence and attentive listening. Listening inwardly to our own hearts is also essential. Paradoxically, we are able to focus on another’s need apart from our own pressing concerns only when we are most self-aware. In this matrix of three-dimensional listening — to God, to the other, and to our inmost selves — we pray for the Holy Spirit to give us the words we need. Our prayer, through the Spirit, binds us together with God and one another. Christian fellowship, koinonia, is the gift God gives to those who pray together. In prayer, Christians are knit together spiritually, joined in intimate communion with God and one another. This is the subject I explore in Chapter One.

A practical theology of prayer involves specific skills and practices. In Chapter Two I reconsider the ancient practice of lectio divina, listening to the word of God as a discipline that deepens prayer. Through Scripture, a concrete word is spoken, offering guidance, wisdom, and hope. In Chapter Three, I outline the essential skills for listening to another person in the context of faith. In Chapter Four I provide instruction in focusing, originally a psychotherapeutic technique devised to help persons gain inner clarity by noticing their embodied emotional responses. For our purposes, this technique will help caregivers identify those unresolved issues that impede their ability to listen. In addition, in this chapter I will argue the importance of self-empathy as a means toward continued growth as a caregiver. In these chapters I build upon the gains the field has acquired through its careful study of depth psychology and interdisciplinary reflection.⁸ Pastoral theology needs to root itself in the richness of its theological heritage while using the tools it has acquired from the psychological disciplines.

In Chapters Five through Nine I go on to consider five forms of prayer: petition, intercession, confession, lament, and thanksgiving and praise. A chapter on each develops their pastoral implications in light of theological reflection. The addendum offers a variety of concrete suggestions for developing pastoral care groups in a congregation. In addition, it offers guidelines for teaching practical caregiving skills. Additional case studies and pastoral conversations are provided in the appendices for further reflection and group discussion. The book thus aims not only to reflect theoretically on the place of prayer in pastoral care, but also to provide practical guidance for those wishing to build up their congregations through this means.

What strengthens vitality in the church? When structures for a praying community are created at every level of the church’s common life, the blessing of a congregation that prays without ceasing will enrich the whole church. Where such a process is undertaken, trust is deepened and love grows. When the community is built up in this way, it receives what it needs for pastoral care. Moreover, the community’s spiritual life is renewed for the work of mission. United in Christ, the church will have the vitality it needs to serve the world that God loves.

1. CPE is multifaith professional education for ministry. It teaches pastoral care in settings where ministry is practiced (e.g., churches, hospitals, universities, the military, prisons, etc.). See www.acpe.edu.

2. Craig Dykstra, Reconceiving Practice, in Shifting Boundaries: Contextual Approaches to the Structure of Theological Education, ed. Barbara Wheeler and Edward Farley (Louisville: Westminster/John Knox Press, 1991), pp. 48, 47. According to Dykstra, our current understanding of practices is ahistorical, individualistic, and technological, something done to and for others, undergirded by a utilitarian ethic. By contrast, he argues that the practices of the Christian faith are more adequately conceived as being cooperative and communal complex traditions of interaction, something we do with others. We learn the practices of Christian faith by participating in them in the community, through mentoring relationships with others who are competent practitioners. By entering into the practices of the faith, we develop new knowledge and insight that cannot otherwise be gained.

3. Cf. Andrew Purves, Pastoral Theology in the Classical Tradition (Philadelphia: Westminster/John Knox Press, 2001); Thomas Oden, Classical Pastoral Care (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1994).

4. Cf. William A. Clebsch and Charles R. Jaekle, Pastoral Care in Historical Perspective (New York: Harper, 1964).

5. Thomas Oden, Classical Pastoral Care, p. 4.

6. See Karl Barth’s discussion of cure of souls as a basic form of ministry in Church Dogmatics, IV/3 (Edinburgh: T&T Clark, 1961), p. 885.

7. Barth, Church Dogmatics, IV/3, p. 886.

8. Cf. Deborah van Deusen Hunsinger, Theology and Pastoral Counseling: A New Interdisciplinary Approach (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1995).

One A Theology of Koinonia

Pastoral care cannot be Christian unless conducted in a spirit of reverence. The work of prayer is integral to every step. If we believe that it is finally God who provides what is needed, then prayer is not optional. God bids us to pray in times of trial — Call upon me in the day of trouble (Ps. 50:15) — and promises his help: Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you (Matt. 7:7). Prayer is, as John Calvin recognized, the chief exercise of faith.¹ Through it, faith is nourished, hope is renewed, and our love for God is strengthened. Pastoral care arises from prayer and leads back to it.

Prayer in the context of pastoral care is prayer on behalf of another. It is our response to another’s need, offered up to God. When we intercede for another, God draws us into communion with himself, providing the strength to face the situation at hand. We sense our complete dependence upon God, and yet we see that God uses the human community to effect his purposes. Through common prayer our spirits are knit together, giving us a foretaste of the communion of saints. By these living spiritual connections, courage is renewed, faith is deepened, and Christian fellowship is revitalized. Koinonia is the telos as well as the indispensable means of all true pastoral care.

Frank Lake, founder of the Clinical Theology movement in Great Britain, states that true pastoral dialogue is initiated by the pastor’s willingness to listen to the parishioner and is concluded when both of them are listening to Jesus Christ. As the transaction of listening moves from the one plane to the other, we have an epitome of that for which the world exists.² Though Lake focuses on the relationship between pastor and parishioner, his claim would apply to anyone who cares for another in Christ’s name. When persons gather in this name, listen to each other in the light of faith, and express their needs in prayer, they fulfill God’s purpose of koinonia or spiritual fellowship. This communion is the epitome of which Lake speaks.

The Greek noun koinonia (as well as related words with the same root meaning) occurs 119 times in the Bible.³ It is variously translated into English as communion, community, and fellowship. But these single nouns do not quite capture its richness or range of meaning. Biblical passages that speak of our participation in Christ or of our having a share in Christ point to what is meant by koinonia. For example, in the Eucharistic passages in First Corinthians, Paul speaks of the cup of blessing as a participation (koinonia) in the blood of Christ, and the bread which we break as a participation (koinonia) in the body of Christ. As we partake of the consecrated elements, we become members of Christ’s body. We participate in Christ’s life even as we take Christ’s body into our own bodies. We are in Christ and Christ is in us.

Koinonia draws together the vertical dimension (our relationship with God) and the horizontal dimension (our relationship with each other) by means of our common life in Christ. In 1 John 1:2-4, the author uses the concept of koinonia (usually translated as fellowship) to draw these dimensions into relationship with each other:

… the life was made manifest, and we saw it, and testify to it, and proclaim to you the eternal life which was with the Father and was made manifest to us — that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you may have fellowship with us; and our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing this that our joy may be complete.

Fellowship in the church means fellowship with the Father and the Son through the Spirit. The communion that the church shares is its communion with God in and through Jesus Christ. Our spiritual fellowship with one another connotes our common participation in Christ’s suffering and comfort (2 Cor. 1:7) as well as our partnership in the Gospel (Phil. 1:5).

Further, koinonia points to the church’s living hope that it will participate in or partake of the divine nature:

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, that through these you may … become partakers [koinonia] of the divine nature. (2 Peter 1:4)

Koinonia is the word used in what may be the most familiar of all benedictions: "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship [koinonia] of the Holy Spirit be with you all" (2 Cor. 13:14). The koinonia of the Holy Spirit is the perfect fellowship the church enjoys when it is one in the Spirit, living out its unity in Christ. Koinonia is thus an eschatological concept, pointing toward a fulfillment not fully realized here on earth, of a true communion of saints that finds its identity and hope in Christ. This spiritual fellowship in Christ is strengthened whenever members of Christ’s body gather together for prayer.

Koinonia is the fellowship that makes pastoral care possible. When koinonia flourishes, so does pastoral care. In this chapter, I proceed as follows. I begin by tracing the theological ground and reality of koinonia in the perfect fellowship of the Holy Trinity itself. The love and freedom between the Father and the Son in the Spirit become a template for understanding our relationships with each other. Jesus Christ is mediator of the fellowship not only between God and ourselves, but also in our relationships with each other. Accordingly, I then delineate the central role of Christ in mediating koinonia. Turning more specifically to pastoral care, I argue that koinonia is an end in itself, not merely a means to some other end. Prayer in the context of pastoral care draws persons into intimate fellowship with God and one another. It is God’s gift to the church. We learn to pray in community, and we depend upon the community to uphold us in prayer. Since pastoral care is the work of the whole community, not simply the ordained staff, I conclude the chapter by arguing for the priesthood of all believers. All the saints need to be equipped for the work of ministry. All need to participate in ministries of intercessory prayer and pastoral care to build up the body of Christ.

Koinonia Relationships

The Christian understanding of the Trinity arose out of the church’s intuition of God’s perfect koinonia. As depicted in Scripture and affirmed in the creeds, God is not solitary but uniquely relational. The Father loves the Son, and the Son loves the Father through the Holy Spirit to all eternity. The Trinitarian fellowship they enjoy is one of mutual indwelling. Even in their irreducible differences, they remain an indivisible unity, one God. Their fellowship does not diminish but rather enhances the personal integrity of each. The Father remains the Father in all eternity, loving the Son through the Holy Spirit. The Son alone becomes incarnate, suffers, dies, and is raised from the dead. He is mediator and advocate between the Father and all humanity. The Holy Spirit is the living presence that flows eternally between the Father and the Son, not only as the bond of love between them, but also as the active agent of their love in the world. As he binds the Father and the Son in eternity, so he also binds us to the Father through the Son here on earth. Each member of the Trinity retains his particular identity, yet they are completely one in purpose, action, and essence. As the Trinitarian persons of the Godhead relate to each other in mutual love and freedom, so we are called to become fully human through loving relationships with others and with God.

The mutual indwelling that characterizes the Holy Trinity becomes a template for understanding our relationship to Jesus Christ. Christ so dwells in us that we are made members of his body, the church. We are in Christ and he is in us through the Holy Spirit. When we come to God in prayer and join one another in the Spirit through the Son, we do not lose our individual identity but find it. In our relationship with God, we are granted the freedom to be our true selves. God does not overwhelm us with his presence, but liberates and sustains our particularity by it. We discover our uniqueness in relation to God and others, not apart from them.

Our fellowship with Christ is similar in intimacy to the eternal communion of the Trinity, but different in the following respect. In ourselves and apart from Christ, we remain sinners who are unable to enter God’s holy presence. But in and through Christ, we are made righteous before God and given access to the Father as adopted children. Our union with Christ becomes the ground for the grace to address the Creator of all things as our Father. As members of Christ’s body, we are enabled to approach God with familiarity and trust. Our being in Christ (koinonia) allows us to claim God as our Father.

The eternal flow of love and freedom between the Father and the Son, and between Christ and the church, is also meant to characterize our relationships with one another. Human beings were created for community (koinonia). The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you’ (1 Cor. 12:21). Paul’s understanding of the church as the body of Christ (Rom. 12, 1 Cor. 12) sees it as a differentiated unity in which each part plays an indispensable role for the good of the whole. In the creation story (Gen. 2:18-25), human beings made in God’s image as male and female recognize one another as true counterparts who need each other. Although irreducibly different, they are made for fellowship. Their differences are not effaced, nor are the boundaries between them blurred, yet only together do they form the imago Dei: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Gen. 1:27). The humanity made in God’s image is thus not the male creature alone, as the tradition has sometimes implied, but only male and female together. Though all persons reflect the image of God, they cannot be fully human as isolated beings. The image of God, as Karl Barth suggests, is not an intrinsic quality in humankind, such as our rational or intellectual capacity, but rather our being created in relationship with God and one another.⁴ Only as relational beings do we find our true identity as God’s image.

Barth speaks of Mitmenschlichkeit (translated as co-humanity) to convey the interrelatedness (literally "with-ness") in which we are not human without the other. We become God’s covenant partners together in community. Only the whole church knit together in love can become what it is: the true marriage partner of Christ (Ephesians 5). Human beings need one another in order to be human. Isolation is a sign of human misery. To deny our need of others is a defense against the pain of isolation. Human flourishing requires human community — people bonded together in mutual giving and receiving.

As Barth describes it, we are not fully human apart from (1) mutual seeing and being seen, (2) reciprocal speaking and listening, (3) granting one another mutual assistance, and (4) doing these all with gladness. First, as we allow others to see us as we truly are, neither hiding nor withholding ourselves, we affirm our common humanity. Second, as we speak and listen to one another, we seek to know the other in her uniqueness and to be known in ours. Each fellow-man is a whole world, Barth says, and the request which he makes of me is not merely that I should know this or that about him, but the man himself, and therefore this whole world.⁵ The purpose of speech is to reveal our true self to the other and to help the other to see the world through our eyes. It is an act of self-revelation and self-interpretation