The Remains
By Margo Glantz and Ellen Jones
()
About this ebook
After her ex-husband dies unexpectedly, Nora García travels to the funeral, back to a Mexican village from her past and the art and music of their life together.
The way you hold a cello, the way light lands on a Caravaggio, the way the castrati hit notes like no one else could—a lifetime of conversations about art and music and history unfolds for Nora García as she and a crowd of friends and fans send off her recently deceased ex-husband, Juan. Like any good symphony, there are themes and repetitions and contrapuntal notes. We pingpong back and forth between Nora’s life with Juan (a renowned pianist and composer, and just as accomplished a raconteur) and the present day (the presentness of the past), where she sits among his familiar things, next to his coffin, breathing in the particular mix of mildew and lilies that overwhelm this day and her thoughts. In Glantz’s hands, music and art access our most intimate selves, illustrating and creating our identities, and offering us ways to express love and loss and bewilderment when words cannot suffice. As Nora says, “Life is an absurd wound: I think I deserve to be given condolences.”
Margo Glantz
Margo Glantz fused Yiddish literature, Mexican culture, and French tradition to create experimental new works of literature. Glanz graduated from the National Autonomous University of Mexico (UNAM) in 1953 and earned a doctorate in Hispanic literature from the Sorbonne in Paris before returning to Mexico to teach literature and theater history at UNAM. A prolific essayist, she is best known for her 1987 autobiography Las genealogías (The Genealogies), which blended her experiences of growing up Jewish in Catholic Mexico with her parents’ immigrant experiences. She also wrote fiction and nonfiction that shed new light on the seventeenth-century nun Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz. Among her many honours, she won the Magda Donato Prize for Las genealogías and received a Rockefeller Grant (1996) and a Guggenheim Fellowship (1998).She has been awarded honorary doctorates from the Universidad Autónoma Metropolitana (2005), the Universidad Autónoma de Nuevo León (2010), and the Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México (2011). Glantz was awarded with the 2004 National Prize for Sciences and the prestigious FIL Prize in 2010. She received Chile’s Manuel Rojas Ibero-American Narrative Award in 2015.
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The Remains - Margo Glantz
The Remains
First published by Charco Press 2023
Charco Press Ltd., Office 59, 44-46 Morningside Road, Edinburgh
EH10 4BF
Copyright © Margo Glantz 2002
First published in Spanish as El rastro (Barcelona: Anagrama)
English translation copyright © Ellen Jones, 2023
The rights of Margo Glantz to be identified as the author of this work and of Ellen Jones to be identified as the translator of this work have been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. This book is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publisher, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by the applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN: 9781913867478
e-book: 9781913867485
www.charcopress.com
Edited by Fionn Petch
Cover designed by Pablo Font
Typeset by Laura Jones
Proofread by Fiona Mackintosh
Margo Glantz
THE REMAINS
Translated by
Ellen Jones
For Ariel
And for the mourners
Dying, we head towards our death…
Pedro Calderón de la Barca
As I spoke to you, my dear, this afternoon,
and your face, expression, actions made it clear
that all my words were leaving you unmoved
I wished that you could see my heart laid bare.
Then Love, seeing my attempts, came to my aid,
although it seemed impossible a task,
and in the form of tears spilled out in pain
she helped me to distil my broken heart.
Enough, my dear, enough, relent, let lie;
let jealousy’s cruel tyranny now cease,
may vile suspicions and imagined signs
cast no more stubborn shadows on your peace.
For now you’ve seen and in your hands you’ve held
my broken heart, in liquid humour, here distilled.
Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz
Castration has a second function: it permits the disruption of the voice’s natural pitch. It liberates the human voice from its dependence on sex and age.
Pascal Quignard
If I can take a breather, the pain has stopped.
Mono Blanco
Lastima, bandoneón, mi corazón,
tu ronca maldición maleva…
Tu lágrima de ron me lleva
hasta el hondo bajo fondo
donde el barro se subleva.
Ya sé, no me digás, tenés razón,
La vida es una herida absurda,
y es todo, todo tan fugaz,
que es una curda, nada más,
mi confesión…
La última curda
Cátulo Castillo and
Aníbal Troilo
My heart, bandoneon, is hurt
by your filthy words, loutish, slurred.
Your tears of rum drag me to hell,
deep underground, where the clay rebels.
I know, don’t tell me, you’re right!
Life is an absurd wound,
and it’s all, all so fleeting
that to confess this is to drink
myself to death tonight…
One Final Binge
My name is Nora García.
It’s been years since I last came to the village: I park my car, then go shyly, warily, up to the front door and into the house. I barely recognise it, it’s changed, and not for the better, the garden’s overgrown, the plants are dry, the grass is yellowing, there are patches of bare earth where before there were flowering shrubs. Down in the ravine – flame trees, trees with wide canopies. The place is full and I almost lose my nerve, my heart shrinking: there are a few people I know, no one I’m especially fond of, and perhaps others I’ve forgotten: it’s been a long time. There’s a woman I think I recognise, though her body looks bloated, her face too, and she looks a bit off-colour – a funereal colour, perhaps? I’m exaggerating, I tell myself, it’s the news of his death, coming back to this house, the fear of remembering too much, the inevitability of seeing people I hate, people who have hurt me – the usual, I tell myself, uncertainties of the heart. The woman’s name escapes me. She’s looking at me – mockingly? derisively? or is she just saying hello? Perhaps that’s just how people look at you at funerals, perhaps that’s just life, to use an old phrase of my mother’s, rest her soul – as Juan is resting now, or at least I hope he is, I really do hope he rests in peace.
I nod to the staff looking after the house, then head to the living room where the body is laid out. It’s a large room (enormous, really), full of musical instruments and sheet music scattered over a long table beside the computers and blank manuscript paper (sheet music, do people still use sheet music?).
I look around, scanning the wall-to-wall bookshelves packed with books – that’s how it should be, books go in bookshelves, or ought to – the paintings on the walls alongside patches of damp.
Several people standing around the coffin.
I go over.
Like all coffins, this one has a kind of window – or is it a door? – so you can see part of the body. His face is pale, I suppose that’s as it should be, it’s simple, really, he’s dead now and dead people’s faces have no colour in them, his heart has stopped beating, that’s all, I tell myself, that’s all there is to it, he’s dead now. He’s dead, he’s no longer breathing, his heart has stopped beating, his blood has stopped flowing. I start peering around nosily, then stop and ask myself how I’m feeling, but the truth is I don’t feel anything, anything at all, my pulse beats calmly, regularly, normally, a hundred beats a minute. There’s a strong smell of mildew invading everything, the room, the coffin, my body, I smell of mildew now, of damp, intense damp. Someone moves away from the coffin and I approach in order to see better, see him better, to see Juan better. I lean over, my cheek almost touching his face – his hands are folded over his chest and he’s holding a cross: I didn’t expect that. His face is such a strange colour, olive, sallow! As if he were dead, I think, that must be it, that’s what’s happened, yes of course, it’s so simple, he’s dead: his heart has stopped beating. A small, greying, or rather ash-coloured moustache covers his lips, thinner now than ever. His skin is transparent, his cheekbones protruding, his high, boxy forehead framing sunken eyes, the eyelids tight shut. The white pine wood coffin with gold inlay; several wreaths leaning against the walls, obscuring the paintings. Wreaths on the bookshelves too, obscuring the books. Candles, next to the coffin – four of them. And a cloying smell, the smell of mildew (why am I surprised by this? it’s always hot and humid here), the thick smell of mildew. Juan is wearing a light, straw-coloured jacket that matches his pale face and the colour of the wood. His tie and shirt are the same hue. It’s an improvised chapel, full of people, paintings, books, musical instruments, a long grand piano, propped open – a Bösendorfer, with sheet music sitting on the rack; next to it is the harpsichord with its open top, exquisitely decorated in a baroque design, a softly-sketched, pastel-coloured, almost idyllic landscape (where’s the Steinway? I can’t see it). Over in the corner, a woman dressed in black, a crestfallen figure. Next to me, a clean-shaven man wearing coarse cloth trousers and a straw hat as though to protect him from the sun in this sunless room. A dog comes in, skeletal, skin clinging to her bones, yellow teeth, pointy snout, dark teats sagging – she’s recently given birth and looks to be starving. Nobody shoos her out of the room – she comes over to the coffin, grazes me with her tail, peers around nosily (just like me), then lies down so that her black teats – so many of them! – spill onto the floor. I lean over the coffin again to see him better, to observe him, to grasp every detail of his death (the death of his body), and what I find is a strange cross in his hands and a wispy, lead-grey moustache – is it hard? stiff? waxed? – a moustache that completely transforms his appearance, disguising it, degrading it.
A woman offers me a drink and I accept, pulling myself together (it’s a tequila, an Herradura Reposado) (a short, very well-dressed, polite-looking man comes in, approaches the coffin, and asks the woman serving the tequilas, in a voice – a diction – that carries further than his stature might suggest: is it you, madam, to whom I ought to offer my condolences? Shaking her head, the woman hurries to the front door.) (Shouldn’t he have asked me? Shouldn’t he offer his condolences to me?) (To me, Nora García?). I can’t rid myself, will never manage to rid myself of this cloying smell of mildew or clotted blood. It’s turning my stomach. I leave the room, bumping into someone who says hello, but I don’t reply, I head for the courtyard, trying not to look at anybody: the smell is surrounding me, dogging my every step, heavy. It’s hot, very hot, and I’m poorly dressed in a jumper, trousers and boots. I recently had my hair cut, thankfully, and it makes me look younger. I pretend not to know the people who gave me so much grief while I was with Juan, when the children were still children and the dogs and cat used to play together – contrary to all expectations, they never fought like cats and dogs, but played; they may as well have been the same species, breed, sex, the female dog sometimes mounting the male, the male sometimes mounting the female, all of them jumping, panting, flinging themselves at each other, the cats and the dogs, or just the dogs, though I should say the cat (singular) and the dogs, because there was only one cat and lots of dogs, all of them piling on top of one another, playing in innocent frenzy (the garden is very large) (there are a lot of plants, a lot of trees at the back of the property), the dogs would growl, howl, bark, lick, bite or bare their teeth at each other, wind their tails together, white or golden or chocolate or black, long-haired or short-haired, the acrid smell of cat invading everything, of a tomcat pursuing a mate.
In the courtyard, tall men, short men, some very elegant, others in informal or very simple clothes, one man with a shaved head entirely covered in tattoos, fat women, like the one I’ve already described, who I look for but is nowhere to be found; instead, a young woman with a dark fuzz over her upper lip; so many mourners – are they grieving? – with lacklustre or ruined complexions, dark-skinned, olive-skinned, tanned, pale, blue-eyed, black-eyed, brown-haired, all kinds of moustaches, others clean-shaven, some dressed plainly, others too elegant for a house in the countryside, but all of them, without exception, including the man with the tattoos (how strange! didn’t it hurt when he got all those drawings done on his forehead, all over his skull and the back of his neck?) with a glass in hand, talking, laughing, gesturing. One group, in particular, of men in well-cut cashmere suits, stands looking uncomfortable: there’s a stiffness that’s in keeping with their moustaches, which almost all of them have, though in different shapes and sizes (only one of them has a beard); yes, I can’t help but notice the abundance of moustaches, bristling, stiff, luxuriant, unkempt or well-smoothed, small, long, curly, blonde, brown. One man has a black moustache that hides a shy little smile. Another one, blond this time, has a stubbly, unkempt looking chin and a very long blond moustache, so long it curves right up, almost to his eyes, and he is twisting one of the tips between the fingers of his right hand. The tall, handsome man, with (light) brown skin, has a thick, dark, silky, well-cut moustache, and is smiling broadly, like a rabbit. Juan, too, has grown a stiff, uneven moustache. I watch them all out of the corner of my eye – there’s a solemn, put-upon look about them, and even though they’ve had plenty to drink their bodies are as stiff as musical instruments – like cellos, for instance – and whenever anybody goes over to say hello, the ritual, affectionate backslapping reverberates, counterpointing the mariachi band’s tuneless trumpets, guitars, and violins, the mariachi band’s endless singing (their faces sallow, their flesh worn) (their moustaches trembling as they sing) in their dun-coloured charro suits, their fake silver buttons, their faded ties in the colours of the national flag, the two lines of buttons down the seam of their trousers accentuating