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    The Last Noël (NHB Modern Plays)
    The Last Noël (NHB Modern Plays)
    The Last Noël (NHB Modern Plays)
    Ebook102 pages38 minutes

    The Last Noël (NHB Modern Plays)

    By Chris Bush

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    About this ebook

    'We'll tell the same old stories, all over again. And we won't complain. Because it's Christmas.'
    It's Christmas Day, sort of, and Alice, Mike and Tess – three generations of the one family – are busy preparing a feast, singing songs, spinning yarns and squabbling about snacks… like only a close family can. But someone is missing from the table.
    Telling their stories in turns, and breaking off for the odd musical interlude, the family pass the time waiting for Tess's mum to arrive. As they do, we see a picture of how one family forms its traditions – and how those traditions matter most when there are problems on the horizon.
    The Last Noël by Chris Bush is a funny, moving, uplifting play with original songs. An innovative festive drama, it captures the unique bonds of family and how coming together to share stories and a meal can be a modern Christmas miracle.
    It was first produced in 2019 by Attic Theatre Company and Arts at the Old Fire Station on a tour of venues around London, before a Christmas run at the Old Fire Station in Oxford.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherNick Hern Books
    Release dateDec 13, 2019
    ISBN9781788502986
    The Last Noël (NHB Modern Plays)
    Author

    Chris Bush

    Chris Bush is a playwright, lyricist and theatre-maker. Her plays include: Rock/Paper/Scissors (Sheffield Theatres, 2022); an adaptation of Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre (Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough, and New Vic, Newcastle-under-Lyme, 2022); (Not) the End of the World (Schaubühne, Berlin, 2021); Hungry (Paines Plough, 2021); Nine Lessons and Carols (Almeida Theatre, London, 2020); Faustus: That Damned Woman (Headlong, Lyric Hammersmith and Birmingham Rep, 2020); The Last Noël (Old Fire Station, Oxford, 2019); Standing at the Sky's Edge, a musical with music and lyrics by Richard Hawley (Sheffield Theatres, 2019, revived 2022 and at the National Theatre in 2023, West End 2024); The Changing Room (National Theatre Connections, 2018); Steel (Sheffield Theatres, 2018); an adaptation of Pericles (National Theatre, London, 2018); The Assassination of Katie Hopkins, written with Matt Winkworth (Theatr Clwyd, 2018); What We Wished For and A Dream.

    Read more from Chris Bush

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      Book preview

      The Last Noël (NHB Modern Plays) - Chris Bush

      A kitchen/living space decked out in Christmas finery. The decorations on display have been accumulated over decades. This is a warm and practical space which gets plenty of use.

      A feast is being prepared. ALICE is nominally in charge/ supervising, while MIKE is taking a more hands-on approach. TESS is mostly trying to eat things without getting told off and making sure everything is just the way she likes it.

      As the audience are seated, they might be offered drinks/snacks, and recruited to help with peeling potatoes, prepping canapés, etc. Perhaps they’re encouraged to join in with a festive sing- song, and/or their opinions might be sought on various contentious Christmas matters – sprouts or no sprouts? Presents before or after dinner? The Snowman or the Queen’s Speech? Each family member is delighted when they find someone who agrees with them, and there’s a friendly rivalry between them. The most important thing is that the audience are our guests, and they’re made to feel welcome.

      Once everyone is settled, music shifts into the opening number.

      Song: ‘It’s Christmas’

      MIKE. IT ISN’T ABOUT

      WHETHER YOU LIKE SPROUTS

      SPROUTS AREN’T THERE FOR YOU TO LIKE THEM

      IT’S TRADITION

      AND WE COULDN’T DO WITHOUT

      IT ISN’T THE TIME

      TO PLAY FAST AND LOOSE

      WITH YOUR FLAVOUR COMBINATIONS

      THE TIME FOR EXPERIMENTATION

      IS NOT TODAY

      THERE’S AN ANGEL ON THE TREE

      I MADE IN 1983

      WHEN I WALK IN IF I CAN’T SEE IT

      I’LL KICK OFF

      IT’S CHRISTMAS

      ALICE picks up the song.

      ALICE. IT ISN’T ABOUT

      WHEN THEY CALLED YOU LAST

      THEY DON’T NEED TO GIVE A REASON

      ’TIS THE SEASON

      WHEN WE LEAVE THINGS IN THE PAST

      IT ISN’T ABOUT

      GETTING EVERYTHING RIGHT

      LIFE’S TOO SHORT TO TRY

      TO KEEP UP WITH NIGELLA

      OR WHOEVER THE HELL

      THEY MIGHT BE WATCHING

      MINE’S A SHERRY, MINE’S A GIN

      TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU COME IN

      IS YOUR NAME JESUS –

      WERE YOU BROUGHT UP IN A BARN?

      ALICE/MIKE. MERRY CHRISTMAS

      TESS, dragging a large gym bag full of washing, takes over.

      TESS. IT ISN’T ABOUT

      SNEAKING OUT

      TO THE PUB TO SEE YOUR MATES

      TO HAVE THE SAME OLD CONVERSATIONS

      YOU HAD LAST YEAR ANYWAY

      IT ISN’T ABOUT

      THE ROWING MACHINE

      THAT’S APPEARED IN YOUR ROOM

      IT FEELS TOO SOON

      IT’S ALL TOO SOON

      BUT RING THE BELLS AND SING OF CHEER

      YES I STILL NEED A STOCKING THIS YEAR

      SOME THINGS SHOULD NEVER CHANGE

      LIKE CHRISTMAS

      The three overlap.

      RING OUT THOSE BELLS

      MIKE.     WHO’S MOVED THE CHESTNUTS?

      ALICE.               CAN YOU PUT THAT DOWN PLEASE?

      TESS. SING OF CHRISTMAS TIME

      MIKE.      MUM? MUM! MUM?!

      ALICE.               THEY’RE FOR LATER

      TESS. AND ALL THE TREATS WE ONLY GET

      AND DO WE HAVE THE BISCUITS THAT I LIKE?

      MIKE.      I JUST HAD THEM

      ALICE.               AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?

      ALL. RING OUT THOSE BELLS

      SING OF CHRISTMAS TIME

      AND ALL THE STUPID LITTLE THINGS

      THAT MEAN THE WORLD TO US

      THAT’S CHRISTMAS.

      Song ends. They address the audience.

      ALICE. Today –

      TESS. [States today’s date.]

      MIKE. Today is Christmas Day.

      TESS. Admittedly not the traditional date associated with

      Christmas Day, but –

      ALICE. But this year, this is when it falls.

      MIKE. In our family we have a roving Christmas – a bit like

      Easter, how Easter fluctuates depending on… on…

      TESS. Go on.

      MIKE. Y’know, equinoxes? Or…

      TESS. Uh-huh.

      MIKE. Lunar, um… Whitsun, solstice… I don’t know.

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