Location via proxy:   [ UP ]  
[Report a bug]   [Manage cookies]                
Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Mumsy (NHB Modern Plays)
    Mumsy (NHB Modern Plays)
    Mumsy (NHB Modern Plays)
    Ebook121 pages58 minutes

    Mumsy (NHB Modern Plays)

    By Lydia Marchant

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Sophie is about to become a single mum – a third-generation one – and she's terrified. How will she afford to feed her baby? Or a Deluxe Snuggle Pod? Can she hold on to her job? What if she's crap at parenthood? Surely she can count on her own mum and nan to help...
    Except her mum's got used to having a life of her own, and doesn't fancy giving up pole-dancing class and Tinder to go back to changing nappies and no sleep. Meanwhile, fresh out of hospital with a broken leg, her nan's having a three-quarter-life crisis of her own.
    From slammed doors to living-room karaoke, Lydia Marchant's play Mumsy is a sparky, soulful comedy drama about the highs and lows of motherhood. It premiered at Hull Truck Theatre in March 2023.
    'A brilliant bittersweet comedy with plenty of ribald humour... Without sermonising, Marchant demonstrates the impact of a decade of Tory austerity amid a cost of living crisis... It's a skill to write across generations like this... Marchant's play is a bundle of joy' - Guardian
    'A striking debut... beautifully balanced between comedy and tragedy... a tender exploration of the power of connection and perseverance' - The Stage
    'Raw, real and utterly Northern... as homely and refreshing as a mug of Yorkshire Tea' - Reviews Hub
    'Masterful... whip-crack funny... a play with a huge heart... a brilliant piece of theatre' - Hull Is This
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherNick Hern Books
    Release dateMar 9, 2023
    ISBN9781788506625
    Mumsy (NHB Modern Plays)
    Author

    Lydia Marchant

    Lydia Marchant is a writer for stage, screen and audio. Her plays include Mumsy (Hull Truck, 2023). She has written for TV's Holby City, Casualty and EastEnders.

    Related authors

    Related to Mumsy (NHB Modern Plays)

    Related ebooks

    Performing Arts For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    Related categories

    Reviews for Mumsy (NHB Modern Plays)

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Mumsy (NHB Modern Plays) - Lydia Marchant

      ACT ONE

      Scene One

      Five Weeks Pregnant

      Time: 9 p.m.

      Rachel’s one-bedroom flat.

      Girlie night.

      SOPHIE. Okay, so… em… okay. Basically, a few weeks ago I meet this lad on Tinder –

      RACHEL. You? On Tinder? Way to go, Soph!

      SOPHIE. Thanks, yeah. So –

      RACHEL. Didn’t think you had it in you.

      SOPHIE. So I meet his lad. And he’s… yeah. So we decide to go on a date.

      RACHEL. Where’d he take you?

      SOPHIE. Um… Wetherspoon’s.

      RACHEL. Spoons?!

      SOPHIE. He said it’s two-for-one chicken on a Wednesday.

      RACHEL. God, I’d of thought I brought you up with more self-worth than Spoons, Soph.

      Nando’s at the very least.

      Know what? I don’t think you’re beyond aiming for Pizza Express.

      SOPHIE. Thanks, Mum.

      RACHEL. So, go on, what’s he like?

      SOPHIE. Like? Well, I ask for a pint of Amstel, and he comes back with a Bombay Sapphire.

      ‘More ladylike’ he says.

      RACHEL. ‘Ladylike’? Shoulda got that Bombay Sapphire, ’n’ chucked it in his pig-ugly face. I would.

      SOPHIE. Know you would.

      RACHEL. So, a prick then?

      SOPHIE. Well… yeah. Like through the whole thing he’s banging on about his ‘’21 Plate Mazda Sport’. His job driving the forklifts for the garlic bread factory over the river. His dreams of managing the people what drive the forklifts for the garlic bread factory over the river. Dunt even ask my surname…

      Little top-up?

      RACHEL. Cheers yeah. Just a tad.

      Er, more than that.

      Not a goer then?

      SOPHIE. Well, um, first ten minutes of the date I’m like, definitely not. But then…

      RACHEL. Oh, Sophie.

      SOPHIE. He just seems so sure, you know? That it’s gonna happen. And part of me dunt wanna offend him. And maybe it’s the gin but the whole time we’re sat there, and then when we’re on the bus back to his. It’s like I’m stood outside myself going, ‘Come on, Sophie, do you really wanna do this?’

      But it’s happening, you know?

      RACHEL. So?

      SOPHIE. So we go back to his. And…

      We kinda start, you know. And then I’m like, ‘You got any – ’

      RACHEL. Johnnies.

      That’s my girl.

      SOPHIE. And he gets out this box of extra-large ones.

      But then I look at his Thing and I’m thinking, ‘no way’, you know? ’Cause it’s… [tiny.]

      RACHEL. Ah, button mushroom.

      SOPHIE. But I can’t… I mean, I don’t wanna say anything…

      So anyway, we… And it’s… And he finishes and pulls out and I’m like, ‘Er, what you done with the, you know… condom?’ Thinking, ‘Oh my God has he been stealthing me?’

      But he’s like ‘I dunno! I honestly dunno!’

      So we start searching, and eventually… oh God… eventually, we um, we work out it’s still…

      RACHEL. What?

      SOPHIE. Can I get you any more, you know, wine or…?

      RACHEL. Soph.

      SOPHIE. Eventually we work out it’s still… inside.

      RACHEL.…

      SOPHIE. And I’m literally fishing round in there for ages, but it’s like it’s been sucked right, you know, up. So I’m like right – going straight to A&E. Having this thing removed, morning-after pill –

      RACHEL. And a full examination. You hant got a clue where that little thing’s been.

      SOPHIE. But then I look at my watch… six in the morning. I’ve gotta be at work in forty-five minutes and I’m in the middle of like… Grimsby.

      RACHEL. Sophie.

      SOPHIE. So I go into Bright Sparks, all smiles and ‘Hands up who wants to sing the clap-clap good morning song.’ All the while thinking, ‘Oh my God, bet he’s given me the clap-clap.’

      Finally gets to half-six. But as I’m leaving Helen –

      RACHEL. Ugh, Snotty Helen.

      SOPHIE. Helen asks me to write up a Next Steps report ’cause Leo put three blocks together unaided. And I can’t turn round and say ‘Sorry, I’ve gotta go down Family Planning ’cause there’s a Durex Real Feel probably wrapped round my Fallopian tubes and I’ve almost definitely got chlamydia.’

      Not if I wanna keep my DBS.

      So by the time I get out, eight-fifteen. Conifer House’s only gone and closed. This point I’m just shattered.

      End up stood with my leg up on the bath, poking round in there with the other end of a toothbrush till the thing just plops out.

      RACHEL. Oh my God, Sophie. I can’t believe you –

      SOPHIE. Mum, I’m pregnant.

      Scene Two

      Five Weeks Pregnant

      Two-ish minutes later.

      Beat.

      RACHEL. No.

      No.

      No no no no no.

      This int happening.

      Not now. Not now.

      This is why you…

      Gestures at the wine.

      ‘Fancy a girls’ night, Mam.’ And then BOOM blindside me.

      I’m missing ‘Legs, Bums and Tums’ for this.

      SOPHIE. I thought you’d be happy!

      Beat.

      RACHEL. No…

      You’re not thinking of keeping it?

      SOPHIE. What?

      RACHEL finishes the bottle.

      RACHEL. Twenty-five Slimming World SYNS. Thanks, Soph. Thanks a lot.

      SOPHIE. It’s weird like… Growing up I always kinda, pictured I’d be this age. As in – this exact age. When I had a baby.

      RACHEL. This int you… This int

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1