The Reinvention Formula: How to Unlock a Bulletproof Mindset to Upgrade Your Life

1

Wall Street

Rock bottom will teach you lessons that mountaintops never will.

– Author unknown

I became sick and tired of being sick and tired and got a job as a stockbroker on Wall Street through a good friend at a firm. Much more importantly here, while looking for inspiration and an upgraded identity, I stumbled upon personal development. Pivotal Life Moment right here. This moment changed the perception of what I grew up believing was in reach or possible for me. While searching motivational videos on YouTube, I remember discovering Eric Thomas,¹ the hip‐hop preacher, and watching exciting remixed videos consisting of inspirational speeches from movies such as Rocky (the best movie series ever) and the Dark Knight trilogy. I am a massive movie nerd to this day, by the way, and those Batman movies made a massive impact on me. I was fascinated with positive affirmations and began to understand that besides becoming physically fit, even more importantly we can become mentally fit. This was a game changer in my life.

It was at this moment I realized I could rewrite my story. I began to build my business, but more importantly I began to cultivate an identity and evolve. I learned the power of a strong work ethic, being super positive and optimistic and being committed and becoming open to limitless possibilities that await a healthy and positive mindset. Wall Street was a season of my life when, although I was working on myself, I was still unenlightened enough that I measured success by how much money I made. Looking back now I know that was naive of me but I was young, had no mentorship, and was figuring things out on my own. I give myself grace because I didn't know what I didn't know. In fact, we all need to give ourselves grace for some of our identities and skin we have shed. They play a role in our life stories. Wall Street stopped being fun, and the unpredictability and stress began to far exceed any of the positives. But something still remained. My personal development journey was gaining momentum, and I was obsessed with growth.

Eventually I discovered that Wall Street wasn't in alignment with who I was becoming, and I left to begin a new business as an owner, where we provided working capital to businesses across the country. I brought all my upgraded personality traits and character developments with me.

With my new business underway I found it challenging to reenergize my fire within and wake up excited the way I had years prior. I realized that change can be good but it also must be in alignment with who you are becoming, and my new venture, although lucrative, was not interesting, exciting, or fulfilling to me the way I dreamed a career should be. And you better believe a career should be something you love, because you're gonna spend a lot of time in it over the course of your life.

This led to a dark season because, although I had developed motivation and ways to sharpen the axe (meaning to work on myself), read books, and accumulate knowledge, I lacked any real purpose and inspiration at my new endeavor. I honestly was never excited about it, but I needed a fresh start and some kind of change of scenery. Being a boss was fun, and I enjoyed helping my employees grow both personally and professionally. During these times, my morning motivational meetings with the troops were some of my favorite parts of this season. As it turns out, the writing was on the wall, but we'll come back to that. As much as I tried to sell myself on this new industry, the fact of the matter was, it wasn't in alignment with me nor with the person I was growing into. The person I was during this season was someone who was attracting poor choices. You don't manifest what you want, you manifest what you are. Don't ever forget that—in fact, highlight it, or write it down, or both!

Around this time in 2018, I was going through quite a bit. It felt like a dark cloud hovered over me for a couple years. My dad, my best friend and hero, had been healthy his entire life. Now as an older gentleman, he had a stroke, which led to the discovery of lung cancer. His doctor did not have a positive bedside manner and the prognosis was not great. I was also in a toxic relationship that I knew wasn't right, but I felt stuck. My advice there is that being single is absolutely okay and a beautiful season. Don't ever settle if you know deep down it's not the right fit. I also started drinking more than I'd like to admit to numb my misery and unhappiness. I made some poor investments, found myself in about $80,000 in credit card debt and was the poster boy for rock bottom. Sadly, Mondays were my least favorite day of the week (they're now my favorite) and quite frankly I didn't love myself. I was in pain. Trust me, emotional pain is harder than physical pain. I felt stuck in many areas and struggled to climb out or find any real excitement or new direction. I take full accountability and ownership for this season but I'm grateful for the darkness that helped me want to see the light. I was at a low point also known as rock bottom. Here's the good news. From down there, you can only go in one direction—up.

Ask Yourself: What challenging life moments helped shape you into the person you are today?

Note

1.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-owe-you-with-eric-thomas/id1533716044?i=1000580730105

2

Marathon Season

No one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality.

– Bruce Lee

To this day I don't know if I found running or running found me. It was divine and beautiful. I was desperate for an outlet. I started to gain the perspective that if I could just get some momentum I could not only climb out of this darkness, but I could become available for the beautiful abundance the world is full of. One day after consistently lifting weights for 15 years, I was feeling frisky and I went for a run. I was humbled with the challenge of completing 2 miles, breathing heavily, and turning a respectable jog into a power walk to finish. I went home that night and immediately cultivated a deep curiosity for the sport. Was I just not in great physical athletic shape? Or was I a long way from being anything remotely close to being mentally fit? As it turns out it was the latter.

The next day I relentlessly set out to conquer a 5k (3.1 miles) run without stopping. I did a bit better and became obsessed with this newfound sport. From there I started to Google everything about running. I even picked up Spartan Up, a book by my now friend Joe De Sena,¹ the founder of The Spartan Empire. This season of life provided a newfound passion and purpose for running and what it takes to be successful at the sport. I'm romantic about running. I love that it's just you, God, your thoughts, and the road. The sport requires no opponent, it's just you versus you, and battling the sometimes‐negative voice in your head. It blossomed into a moving meditation for me during which I would do my best thinking and deepest inner work. I signed up for an official 5k on Long Island, completed that, and moved on to a 10k (6.2 miles). My obsessive personality is totally used for good here, because running provided so many positive life lessons and more productive behaviors. I began to learn about nutrition, hopped on a meal plan, started incorporating rest and recovery, and only had a cocktail once in a while. For the readers here, I believe physical goals are so important not because of the actual goal itself, but who we become in the pursuit: healthier, better decision‐making and disciplined human beings.

After the scheduled 10k was completed, by now I think you know what was on my radar next. If you're gonna think, you might as well think BIG. Another life lesson that would become a part of my DNA was thinking huge and focusing on what could go right as opposed to what could go wrong—conditioning I really had to first unlearn and then relearn to harness as a superpower: thinking BIG.

I made a decision to sign up for the TCS NYC Marathon: 26.2 miles and 5 boroughs of road, bridges, and New York's loudest and most loyal. I wanted to really test myself at this season of life. I felt that, if I could pull this off with minimal running experience, I could use it as a point of reference for other spectacular life events and opportunities. I would also have the chance to inspire my dad who was battling the late stage diagnosis of cancer, which was scary, tough on the body, and devastating to the mindset. So, although an audacious goal, I was ready to swing for the fences with a ton of upside and growth waiting for me on the other side.

My next move was to assume massive accountability by declaring and posting about this moonshot and raising money for a charity in order to enter the race. This was a monster life lesson and applicable for anyone in any arena of life. When you tell people about your audacious goal, it suddenly becomes alive. It has energy. It has a pulse and a vibration. There's a lot at stake when we create outside expectations in addition to our inner expectations. This is one of the most brave and courageous things we can do as humans: tell the world what we intend to do and then set out to accomplish it. The extra surge of accountability here is heavy and real. You may be able to let yourself down behind closed doors, but now that the world knows about it, it becomes a non‐negotiable. This is powerful and a cheat code to dig even deeper.

That season was so beautiful. I started to cultivate a new identity and self‐belief that really gained momentum like a small snowball rolling down a snowy mountain and picking up more mass and speed. Truth be told I didn't have a ton of strategy for this race, but where I lacked strategy I doubled down on heart and grit, two extremely powerful characteristics for a meaningful and successful life.

Showtime—here we go—the day arrived and I was ready to be a gladiator in the arena of running and also life. I remember walking up to the start line corral as they blasted one of my favorite songs by Florence and the Machine called Shake It Out where I started to cry and was blitzed with an avalanche of emotions. I remember saying to myself, How amazing God is. A lot can change in a short amount of time. Here we go baby, Frank Sinatra's New York, New York now blasting while 50,000 strong set out for different reasons all with the common goal to showcase the human spirit on fire and bravely run. The marathon is so beautiful. If you don't plan on running one, I highly suggest being a spectator at one. It's emotional, full of blood, sweat, tears and spirit as everyone has a different why for entering. It's amazing what we can accomplish. The marathon will humble you and can be your best friend or your worst enemy, but you'll be better for the experience, period, end of story.

I finished that marathon with family and friends cheering me on, my mom crying, of course—she always cries. I remember crossing the finish line and checking the time and feeling the most unique hybrid of emotions consisting of tremendous pride and yet showered with disappointment. I ran a 4:12 and failed to break the symbolic milestone of running under four hours. With one marathon under my belt, a new found sense of accomplishment and confidence, I was getting closer to reinventing myself and transforming into an impactful, world contributing juggernaut of a human. I had grown so much during this season and fell in love with the process that finishing a marathon—which was once the goal—was now not nearly enough. I had to break four hours and evolve even more, shedding old patterns, identities, and skin. Just doing something was no longer good enough, so doing something at an elite level with no limitations or lack of belief was the new standard. As of the writing of this book, I've conquered a total of six marathons with a personal record (PR) last month (October 2022) in Chicago of 3:31:25. We'll circle back to this season with more to come from the running journey and beautiful life lessons included.

Ask Yourself: What hobbies or passions in your life are you curious about taking to the next level?

Note

1.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-founder-spartan-with-joe-de-sena/id1533716044?i=1000536808384

3

Becoming Available

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

– The Dalai Lama

Marathon season provided a gateway drug to a much bigger life purpose and assignment. The marathons showed me that I'm capable of much more than I ever realized physically, spiritually, and energetically. It also transformed my perspective: I began to look forward to challenges and massive goals, because it was no longer a question of whether I could accomplish it, but when. You see, the beautiful thing of putting yourself through hell voluntarily is that you cultivate grit, resilience, and an unshakable confidence. On the other side of pain is growth. These life lessons altered the way I began to see and show up in the world. For anyone who is currently struggling, suffering, or in a dark place, if you can see up, then you can get up. Then when you go through some adversity, you'll begin to develop a bulletproof mindset. If you didn't die, then you can make a comeback. The marathons were tough, hard as hell, and brutal, yet also the most beautiful and rewarding human experiment. I found myself in a place where I started to ponder if I could be successful at things that were not natural to me and that I lacked experience in. What kind of impact could I make if I became available for both my passion and my purpose in life? I still lacked clarity during this season but I was obsessed with both growth and the pursuit of identifying why I'm here. Spoiler alert: we are all here for a big reason.

January 2020, I set an intention and sent my best friend (also known as my brother Marc) a text. The text said something along the lines of I'm available and I'm going to change my life this year and I don't know how but I know I'm here for a bigger purpose than where I'm currently floundering around …

In March 2020, the pandemic surfaced, lockdown began, and I shut down my office for what I thought was going to be about two weeks tops. For the first time in my adult life, I found myself without an organized schedule and work‐related purpose. I looked around and I observed that basically everybody I knew was watching Tiger King on Netflix and doing a hell of a lot of day drinking, which, without being judgmental, I thought was a dangerous idea. My relationship with God had been growing rapidly for the past few years and I doubled down on my faith when I started my running journey. God and I communicated often, specifically during long runs.

I began to feel very called and intentional with this once‐in‐a‐lifetime historic opportunity of extra time while the world stood still. I started tripling down on what I call sharpening the axe. I was reading a lot and watching anything that could put me in the right frequency to receive creative and divine downloads. I was absolutely relentless in my pursuit of finding something bigger, more impactful, and important that also would give me happiness and fulfillment. One day it hit