Where the Lost Dogs Go: A Story of Love, Search, and the Power of Reunion
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In Where the Lost Dogs Go, Susannah Charleson, author of Scent of the Missing dives headlong into the world of missing dogs. The mission to reunite lost pets with their families starts with Susannah’s own shelter rescue, Ace, a plucky Maltese mix with a mysterious past who narrowly survived months wandering lost. While Susannah formally studies animal behavior, lost-pet search tactics, social media strategies, and the psychology of loss, Ace also steps up for training. Cheerful and resourceful, Ace has revealed a nose for the scent of lost pets, and together they help neighbors and strangers in their searching.
In Where the Lost Dogs Go, readers take to the streets beside Susannah to bring home a host of missing pets. Along the way, Susannah finds a part of herself also lost. And when unexpected heartbreak shatters her own sense of direction, it is Ace—the shelter dog that started it all—who leads Susannah home. Inquisitive, instructive, heartrending, and hopeful, Where the Lost Dogs Go pays tribute to the missing dogs—and to the found—and to the restless space in between.
“A moving memoir about lost dogs and their often equally lost humans.” —Cat Warren, author of What the Dog Knows
“Riveting.” —Patricia B. McConnell, author of The Education of Will and For the Love of a Dog
“Moving and profound, Charleson's book affirms the special human-animal connection and fully celebrates the healing powers of forgiveness and love.” —Kirkus Reviews
Susannah Charleson
SUSANNAH CHARLESON is the author of the New York Times bestseller Scent of the Missing and The Possibility Dogs. A flight instructor, service dog trainer, and canine search-and-rescue team member, Charleson began a non-profit organization called The Possibility Dogs, which rescues, trains, and places dogs with people suffering “unseen” disabilities. She lives in Texas with her ever-growing brood of animals—canine, feline, anything that needs rescuing.
Read more from Susannah Charleson
Scent of the Missing: Love and Partnership with a Search-and-Rescue Dog Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Possibility Dogs: What a Handful of "Unadoptables" Taught Me About Service, Hope, & Healing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
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Where the Lost Dogs Go - Susannah Charleson
This memoir is a work of nonfiction. Out of respect for individual privacy, some names and other identifying characteristics have been changed.
First Mariner Books edition 2020
Copyright © 2019 by Susannah Charleson
All rights reserved
For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to trade.permissions@hmhco.com or to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 3 Park Avenue, 19th Floor, New York, New York 10016.
hmhbooks.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Charleson, Susannah, author.
Title: Where the lost dogs go : a story of love, search, and the power of reunion / Susannah Charleson.
Description: Boston : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2019.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018046441 (print) | LCCN 2018052049 (ebook) | ISBN 9781328995100 (ebook) | ISBN 9781328995056 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780358298663 (pbk.)
Subjects: LCSH: Lost dogs—Anecdotes. | Search and rescue operations. | Human-animal relationships.
Classification: LCC SF427.6 (ebook) | LCC SF427.6 .C43 2019 (print) | DDC 636.7—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018046441
Cover design by Martha Kennedy
Cover photograph © Bryan Mullennix/Getty Images
Author photograph © Ellen Sanchez
All photographs provided courtesy of the author with the following exceptions: Chapter 2 opener photograph used with permission of Conroe Animal Shelter in Conroe, Texas; Chapter 4 opener (top) used with permission of The Retrievers.
v2.0520
For my parents, Peggy and Lynn, who never turned away from any need on four paws
August 2015.
Puzzle off-duty, at play beside our house.
1
Magnet Dog
Puzzle wakes me with her going. Somewhere in my sleep I must have felt her head lift first, before she rolled up onto her feet, but it is my hand in empty air, the stab of her absence, that truly wakes me. The golden retriever pads to the edge of the front porch, and I open my eyes, squinting into the afternoon haze. Puzzle moves a little stiffly, as though her hips are tired. She poises at the steps that lead down to the yard, turning her head toward the cross street and drawing her ears forward in question. In this light, I can see her silvered face.
Puzzle is an eleven-year-old search-and-rescue dog, and I’m the partner who runs beside her to find missing persons. A decade ago she was the bright spark of a puppy in training and I the human adult who had to keep up with her, but in the unfair way of dogs and time, Puzzle is senior to me now—her dog years equate seventy-two to my fifty-five. She wears it well. Puzzle’s pretty face still lights up at the prospect of work—her favorite adventure—and she bounds across the search field with joy. But I’ve seen a change in her gait lately, and sometimes at the end of long days across rough terrain, her hips betray her.
The golden trained hard in the heat this morning. We both did. We came home ready for a late lunch followed by a nap together. It is an after-work ritual we’ve had for years: I lie in the porch swing, and Puzzle stretches out beneath me on the wood planks, where my fingertips graze her shoulders with each movement of the swing.
Something got her up now, though.
What’s going on? I wonder, as Puzzle trots down the steps and rounds the corner of the house out of sight. I sit up fuzzily, thick and stupid with nap sleep, more curious than worried. Puz works with me off-leash, sometimes searching a long way away before communicating back to me. She’s a faithful dog with a solid recall. The invisible line forged between us means I could call her now and she would return from wherever she’s gone, for whatever reason. But part of the deal is that I pay attention to what she shows me at any time.
I find her standing in the dry grass at the edge of the front yard. She’s concentrating there, her head cocked, gazing down the street. Puzzle has always paid attention to change near her territory. Her tail waves idly as she marks my approach, but she doesn’t turn her head.
Something is happening a few houses north of us. From where we stand I hear the long bleat of a horn, the slam of a car door, and faint voices raised. Then a battered white car speeds past us, followed by anxious, escalating cries. Louder now, I hear the unsteady slap of feet running toward us. A young woman hurtles into view, so awkwardly I’m afraid she’ll fall. She’s got on black yoga pants and a sweat-soaked pink tank top, and she’s trying to run along the uneven sidewalk in flip-flops. Her expression is panicked. Her short light hair is wild.
My dog,
she says. My dog is gone.
She’s breathless and hoarse. A lady . . . back there says you, says your dog . . . says you can . . .
She looks at me blankly, like she doesn’t know what to ask for. His heart is bad,
she says. Please.
Puzzle can sense the tension. She steps forward to the young woman at the fence, scenting her hand and quivering with adrenaline. We’ll come, I tell the young woman. When I bring out Puzzle’s long lead, the golden pops upon her forepaws, ready for anything.
Whether she’s searching for a single lost person or multiple victims of catastrophe, search and rescue (SAR) is work that Puzzle is good at and a job beside me that she passionately loves. But Puzzle’s search work has always been human-specific; part of her training involved proofing her against finding animals. This is a standard for many K9 search-and-rescue teams, who must assure fire, law enforcement, and disaster agencies that the dogs deployed to find a missing child won’t alert, that is, signal to the handler, on every pet they pass. But it’s confusing to neighbors, who often believe a search dog finds anything at any time. I can never ask Puzzle to find missing pets.
Here’s the twist. Lost pets find her. She’s got that reputation in the neighborhood, too. There’s something about my golden retriever that attracts stray animals. Friendly, spooked, or simply confused, they seek her out. It’s not something Puzzle does; it’s something she is, something I don’t understand and can’t explain. Magnet dogs, I’ve lately learned such creatures are called. But now is no time to lecture my neighbor about the distinction.
His name is Odie, the young woman tells us as we jog back to her house. And he is very old. Black all over except for gray on his face. She was in the shower. She was in the shower and Odie was there in the bathroom with her, because when she gets out of the shower he likes to lick her wet feet. But someone else in the house was going in and out the front door, and maybe the screen didn’t close or something, and Odie must’ve slipped past it, because when she got out of the shower he wasn’t there, and he was always there, and she knew right away that something was wrong. That was noon or maybe a little later. She’s been searching since then. He never goes out the door. Never. Except he must have. The young woman pauses, says her friend—and she hesitates on the word—is out driving around looking for Odie in his car. She’s tried to ask the neighbors. She’s knocked on every door for three blocks. People don’t answer their doors here, she says. Why don’t people answer their doors? Odie is a very old sort of dachshund. He’s fuzzy, and he has a spine thing and a heart murmur and a deformed windpipe, but he is the sweetest dog, the best dog, and this heat will kill him. And there are coyotes. She has seen them. Could a coyote have gotten him this fast? Jesus. He weighs only nine pounds. He’s been with her since he was six weeks old. She searched the house and the yard and around the block, and she’s called and called, but he hasn’t come. And Odie always comes when she calls him. He couldn’t have gotten far, right? Unless a coyote got him. Or someone took him. Would someone take him? His name is Odie, she repeats, Odie for the cartoon dog in Garfield, and he is shy.
She says all of this in the four and a half blocks between her house and mine—a tangled narrative charged with the same pain I’ve heard from others who’ve lost someone they love. Words on words, they claw their way back to the moment when things went wrong, when they made a choice they would change, if they could, and everything would be okay.
If Puzzle was tired when she got up from the porch, she’s shaken it off now. She trots easily ahead on her long lead. I explain to the young woman that Puzzle doesn’t search for other dogs the way she would search for humans but that strays sometimes come out for her. I’m glad to take Puz through the house and the neighborhood in the hope that Odie will do the same. The young woman stops. I see her face change. We’re not the miracle she was hoping for. Okay, she says after a beat or two. I’ll take any help at all.
I recognize her little corner house. I’ve passed this 1920s box cottage on walks. There was a party here back in November—I remember feeling a little envious as the passing outsider—the house bright, bursting with guests and laughter, figures shadowed beneath the porch light, crowded on the stoop with their red cups, spilling out onto the front lawn.
It’s a different house now. A neighbor’s dog barks furiously as we hurry onto the tiny porch and through a paint-flaked screen door. The place looks like it’s been ransacked. From where we stand I can see the living room, dining room, and kitchen and, around the corner, the closed door to a bedroom. Bare walls are riddled with nail holes. The floor is a jumble of boxes. Some of them are open, full of random items—there’s a juicer, a pair of sunglasses, and a hard drive. A few boxes have their leaves folded shut. BEDRM, reads the label on one. KITCHEN, another.
The young woman says Odie likes to tunnel under things, but he can’t climb or jump. He couldn’t get in a box, and there’s nothing much to tunnel under here in the house. Not a couch, not even a bed. She’d hoped my search dog might find him squeezed into some tiny place she had overlooked.
So you’re moving, and . . . ,
I begin.
"I’m not," she says, wrapping her arms around herself, and that sums up the sense I get from her, standing in this uneasy space, that the only thing she’s got left that matters is Odie. She looks exhausted as she gestures us freedom of the house and leaves us to change her shoes.
Moving quickly, Puz and I wind through the disarray. A book stack tilting against a milk crate of record albums. A framed high school diploma lying flat, a coffee cup ring on the glass. Two fat wine bottles with candle wax melted down the sides. There’s a striped sheet in the middle of the dining room, tied up at the corners around what looks like laundry. An empty closet stands open; a plaid shirt droops from its doorknob. I’ve seen houses like this before: abandoned houses on search deployments; estate sales after the pickers have come; my own home at the edge of divorce, when I got to a point that I was tempted to give everything left away rather than fill another box marked MISCELLANEOUS—things no longer ours, things painful as mine.
Puzzle hops over a slid stack of magazines, where a steady-eyed Willie Nelson gazes up from a Rolling Stone. As we move, I’m thinking hard about Odie. In a disrupted house, this anxious, elderly, disabled dog, who comes when his person calls, goes missing in the heat of the day. He might be hiding. He might be running—hobbling, more likely. I can’t think a dog like Odie could go far on his own. I peer into the closet, open the bathroom cabinets, and gently roll over the striped bundle of laundry. Dachshunds like to tunnel, don’t they?
No sign of the little dog here. Puzzle has picked her way across the last of the space. She thrills in the kitchen, where a green-eyed cat stares down at her from the top of the refrigerator. Puz likes cats, and she beams up at this one, her tail swaying. But the cat is having none of it. The tabby shrinks himself by a third, and his eyes dilate wider.
The young woman meets us at the back door. She glances up at the fridge. Neighbor’s cat, she tells us. He visits. She has just searched the tiny backyard again, where I can see burned grass cut short to a chain-link fence. There’s nowhere for a dog to hide there. No tree for shade, no porch to duck under. She’s looked everywhere she can think of twice, she says. She even crawled behind the bushes in front of the house. She has no idea what to do now.
We’ve got to head out, but we need to be smart about it.
I’m wrestling lost-person strategies on behalf of a missing dog. In human search and rescue, we consider three factors in the plan for the wandering lost: direction of travel determines which way someone went from the place last seen, helping us figure out where to put searchers first; containment creates barriers in an area to prevent that someone from wandering out of it; and attraction uses things like lights, siren pips, music, balloons, which might draw a lost person to those searching for him or her. These factors are just as relevant to lost Odie as they would be to a missing child, but now I need to think like a skittish, low-slung black dog with a heart condition, so small that he is able to fall into gutters, who can’t recognize human help when it comes for him and who’s not going to be interested in music and balloons at all.
Puzzle looks up at me, ready for whatever is next.
The young woman says the back door was locked before Odie went missing. She’s pretty sure he went out the front door. It had been open a lot with her friend going in and out, and the screen door didn’t always close. I have to wonder—and I have to ask—about the friend. Strange things happen in the search for lost humans, and the people closest to the missing person are often involved—a spite move, a joke gone wrong, even something accidental and unknown. In all the confusion, is it possible that Odie jumped in the car with her friend? The young woman shakes her head. Odie wouldn’t jump in the car. He’s scared of cars. Besides, it was gone before Odie went missing, and she’s been in that car, searching with her friend, since then.
Though we’re pretty sure Odie went out the front door, we don’t know which way he went from there. There’s a huge dog at the house to the right, whose savage, teeth-clicking barks sound like he could eat the fence between us. He rages at the young woman and at me as we stand on the porch, softening only a little bit at the sight of Puzzle. I think his noise would have kept Odie from turning that direction. The hot asphalt would probably have discouraged the little dog from crossing the street in front of the house. Containment, I think: a scary dog to the right; a steep slope down to the pavement, hot asphalt, and traffic straight ahead. Wanderers often choose the path of least resistance. I think Odie went left.
We turn left and separate. The young woman follows her street, crossing the shaded intersection, but Puzzle and I turn left again, around the side of her house. Its bare little yard butts up to another fenced lot owned by the same landlord, who did not answer his phone when the young woman called. She has searched along that scruffy lot and called there, but she’s found nothing. I peer through a weathered privacy fence at the ugly, unpromising space, so overgrown it’s almost impassable. NO TRESPASSING, a sign says. I don’t think many people would want to. The owner stores a trailer, a truck, and some sheds here, half hidden in weeds behind the fence. The gate looks like it hasn’t been opened in a long time, its latch held shut with a knotted twist of rusted wire.
Little old dog, where are you?
There’s a natural urge to call a lost dog, but I don’t call to this one. I know this about canine behavior: if shy Odie is not responding even to his young owner, he is certainly not going to come to me when I call—and a stranger’s calls could scare him farther away. So I look for places where he might duck out of the heat, seeing, or thinking I see, a little black dog in every pool of shadow we pass.
Gentle Puzzle is all I’ve got for attraction. I tell her to wander, a cue that lets her know she’s at will on her lead. She walks ahead, skirting the fence, sniffing the recent history of the road we travel. Behind her, I peer beneath cars and into runoff drains. I’ve seen dogs curl up in some of the most unexpected places to get cool.
Heat roars up from the asphalt. Puzzle and I hug the shade to spare her paws. This is a far cry from the pace we use to search, and I fight the impulse to give her a find cue and hurry. Odie’s situation is dire—even healthy dogs can die in this heat—but with the best intentions, it would be easy for us to make things worse now. We just need to be nonthreatening, a nice woman on a walk with her nice magnet dog.
Not a human in sight. The neighbors have all wisely withdrawn. We pass 1930s wood-frame cottages rumbling with window air conditioners. I can see a few TVs flickering from shaded rooms. I’m thinking that if we don’t find Odie quickly, a next step might be another round of knocking and signs and hand flyers for the neighbors who don’t open doors. Maybe some kind person has carried the little found dog into the cool.
A blue jay flaps from tree to tree above us, shrieking its warning call. Puz pays no attention to the bird, but as she rounds a corner she pauses and pricks her ears. I stop with her. I hear nothing unusual, and I can’t make out what she heard. Even she doesn’t seem sure. She turns her head a couple of times as though to pick it up again. Nothing. We stand for a long moment before moving on.
At two blocks away, I think we’re moving too far for a disabled dog in hundred-degree heat. I pour bottled water onto my hands and give Puzzle a drink, then smooth a little more water down the length of her. We double back toward Odie’s house. We are passing the empty lot a second time, on the sunny side right next to the fence, when she stops again and pricks her ears. This time I hear what must have paused Puzzle before: an odd rasp, almost like the sound of a Styrofoam lid being removed from a cooler. Animal? Mechanical? I can’t tell. There it is again—a dry, drawn-out scrape.
Puzzle’s head snaps toward the fence. We move board to board along it. Peering through the wooden slats, I see nothing but deep weeds, drooping hackberry branches, the derelict truck, the trailer, and the rusty, tilting sheds. But Puz is so curious now that I think we must go in.
NO TRESPASSING. Same landlord, I rationalize, calculating that by the time we could finally reach whomever for permission, Odie might be in a very bad way.
I could really use a pair of pliers to untwist the stiff, rusted wire holding the latch closed. But it takes an even harder pull to prize open the warped gate. Runoff dirt and gravel prevent it from swinging open more than a foot or so. I gesture Puzzle through the opening, wider at the bottom than it is for me at the top, then turn sideways and squeeze myself through after her, feeling the scrape of old wood and the poke of the latch on my back.
We stop just inside. On a search we’d call this moment a size-up, a time to evaluate the terrain, its hazards, and any hot spots
likely to attract someone lost. Puzzle lifts her nose and brings her ears forward, making dog sense of the space. She had wanted to come in here, but she’s cautious now, thoughtful and alert. I need to make my own sense of it, too. The property is more neglected than it appeared from the other side of the fence, peppered with enough junk metal that it’s just shy of a dumping ground, the Wonderland Alice might have got to if she’d sipped from the wrong bottle. This is no place for a nice woman and a nice dog on a casual walk.
The lot seems huge. Maybe it was once one of those historic plats from the earliest days of this old town, when front yards were gracious and backyards generous enough to hold a stable, a chicken coop, and room for children to play—a century ago or longer. A sort of pergola still stands at one end. However trashed the place might be, nature is struggling to reclaim it. There’s a derelict purple martin house on a high, leaning pole; I can see some determined bird has made a nest in what is left. Insects hover over flowering weeds that are taller than Puzzle in some places, waist-high to me in others. A human would have to fight his way in to get to that truck and those sheds. But the trailer is visible from where we stand, braided with vegetation and resting on what must have been old driveway gravel.
He likes to get under things. So many lost behaviors are rooted in choices at home. There are plenty of places to hide here, but getting into them wouldn’t be easy for a disabled old dog, a space that even for humans deserves boots, gloves, and a machete. My human mind is almost ready to dismiss the area when Puzzle stiffens, shudders at the end of her lead, and gives a low, warning woof.
Something moves in my peripheral vision, and I twitch. A snake. A fair-sized one. Three foot, as they say in Texas. Maybe four. I might not have seen it if Puzzle hadn’t woofed. Struck on the throat by a copperhead when she was young, she is snakewise now. I hold very still. Puzzle, too, freezes where she stands—good girl. The snake wants no part of us either. When we don’t move, it retreats, the tall grass tracing its liquid, easy motion. I’m guessing a rat snake by the flash of pattern, but we’ll give it a wide berth anyway. As I urge Puzzle toward the gate, we hear the raw rasping sound again. And again, louder. What is this? It’s like nothing I have ever heard. Another snake? I wonder. Are we hearing another snake killing something?
But now my snake-averse golden retriever turns back, stretching toward the sound. Then the grass shifts, a cloud of insects lift, and out from beneath the trailer a small black dog slides toward her, rasping a desperate cry and dragging his spent back legs behind him.
There is a car in front of the house and two figures on the porch, their postures tense. The young woman turns as I round the corner with Odie in my arms and Puzzle beside me. She and a young man both shout his name. The little dog is trembling and sunken-eyed, but when his person rushes to us and he sees her, Odie struggles in my arms to get to her, vocalizing his odd scrape. She bundles him to her chest, bows her head, and presses his name into the fur of his neck. In her tumbling way, she tells him how scared she was, how she never thought she’d see him again. She’d imagined cars and mean kids and coyotes. The overjoyed little dog licks her ears. He is young again with reunion, tapping his forepaws on her shoulders.
The young woman tells me that Odie is so much more than a dog to her—a best friend since she was in elementary school. She says I’d never believe how important he is. I understand, I tell her, and I do, cradling the dome of Puzzle’s fair head beneath my palm.
When she hears where we found him, Odie’s owner can’t quite believe it. She had passed that weeded lot several times; she had called over the back fence into it, and her dog hadn’t come when she called. How had he even gotten in there? Why wouldn’t you let me find you? She kisses the flap of Odie’s ear and whispers. Why didn’t you come when I called?
The young man watches from the porch. He had started down the steps when he first saw Odie, then checked himself, his expression uncertain. He and the young woman could be twins: similar build, same spiked platinum-blond hair. The young man has keys in his hand. He glances toward the old white car I’d seen earlier, which is loaded, front and back, with boxes. But he doesn’t interrupt, and he waits for the young woman, twisting his key fob as if there is something unfinished between them. Murmuring thanks and something about water for Odie, the young woman cradles the little dog back toward the house. The young man meets her halfway across the brown grass. I hear him say, I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry. The young woman lifts her head from her dog and puts a hand to the young man’s arm. It is a gesture I recognize from my childhood, signaling something gentle and spent between them as they disappear through the front door.
Puzzle laps water from my cupped hand before we head for home. She looks up at me when she’s had enough, her eyes alight, blond muzzle beaded with droplets. The familiar tug of search urgency has begun to relax. It feels no different from the aftermath of a human search, when every sense, stretching out, calms. Three hours ago I didn’t even know the little dog or his young woman, but for a time their cause was mine. That sensation is familiar, too. I know what it is to lose love.
The relief I feel for both must be palpable to my own dog. I can’t know exactly what Puzzle makes of the experience: a walk that was not quite a walk, a search that was not quite a search, and a distressed little dog at the end of it. But this was a save nonetheless, and she’s an old hand at that kind of joy. I’m sure she could sense the human happiness around her, and frightened Odie’s relief. Dogs know when their people are pleased with them. Puzzle’s jaunty ahead of me now across the cooling street, sidewalk, and grass. Wrooo-wrooooo, she croons back to me over her shoulder. I think I could not love her more.
Afternoon light gives way to evening. Cicadas sing out the first stars. Somewhere in the neighborhood a grill is firing up. Though there’s a shortcut she knows well, Puzzle leads me home the long way, yearning, lifting her nose to the scent of steak. The old white car passes us on the road that leaves town.
The shelter intake photo for a rescued Maltipoo designated A006140.
2
The One in the Back of the Cage
Another one?
my father asks over the phone. Do you really need another dog?
Dad is teasing, sort of. We have this long history of second guesses, where he asks what I’m doing these days, then responds, Another one?
or Again?
no matter what my answer. It used to bug me when I was a prickly teenager—this notion that all my choices were questionable, that I was a repeat offender at whatever—but now I chalk it up to quintessential Dad. And it’s a versatile schtick, applying equally well to jobs, head colds, new loves and exes, fender benders, books in progress, and homeless dogs taken in.
I am standing in