I Kiss Girls

Chapter One

J oanie, honey! Hurry! The bus—

Got it! Joanie leaped the last two steps and hit the kitchen floor running. I’m outta here. She grabbed a banana and a slice of toast off the table as she hurried by it, stopping to kiss her mom on the cheek.

You’re late again, stupid, Liz told her.

Shut up, weenie. Joanie stuck her tongue out at her little sister and headed for the front door at a jog.

Coat!

On it, Mom! She hefted her bag higher on her shoulder, stuffed her jacket under her arm and sprinted the half a block to the bus stop where Zane, trusty Zane, was holding up the bus for her. He’d stopped just before getting on board, taking his time while pretending to tie his shoe.

Joanie skidded around him and caught the door in one hand. Good morning!

It is now!

She got on the bus and tossed her bag into a seat. You rock, Zane.

Zane fell into the seat across the aisle from Joanie and gave her that cute lopsided grin, the same one that made all the freshman girls sigh over him and draw stupid little hearts around his name in their notebooks. I try.

There were no hearts around Zane’s name in any of Joanie’s notebooks.

I thought I was gonna miss it today for sure.

No way. Zane shook his head. I wasn’t about to let you miss math today.

Joanie rolled her eyes. I got like maybe five hours of sleep. Watch me fail the test.

Shut up, Zane complained, crossing his arms over his chest. What’s failing for you, Jo, a B?

You shut up. I get Bs sometimes.

But not in math.

Okay, no. Not in math. Never in math. Sometimes in English or history, but she really liked math. She was just good at it, even she wasn’t sure why. You know if I get a B on a math test my dad will seriously ground me.

Damn. Zane shook his head. That’s pretty harsh.

Yeah, well. I studied my butt off last night.

And that’s why you were late?

I overslept. Her answer was deliberately vague. Well, that part was true, she had stayed up too late and overslept, but she wasn’t losing sleep over the math test; she’d stayed up late drawing again. Joanie stuffed the rest of her toast in her mouth so she couldn’t say anything more. The drawing thing wasn’t the issue; he knew she drew comics in her journal, but she didn’t dare tell Zane that she’d ended up drawing pictures of his ex-girlfriend, Samantha. She was so cute. And so nice.

And so totally straight.

You wanna hang out tonight? Zane asked. I got a new game for my Xbox. The bus hit a bump and the two of them were bounced off their seats. Jesus.

Joanie grabbed onto the back of the seat in front of her and shook her head. Of all the things she didn’t like about school, the stupid bus was at the top of her list. She couldn’t wait until senior year, she’d finally have her license and she could drive to school.

If her dad let her have a car.

Can’t tonight, I’ve got plans.

"Like, plans plans?" Zane wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Joanie gave him a look. No.

Zane leaned closer, speaking softly. I’m not going to tell anyone you have a date, Jo.

I don’t have a date. She’d love to be lying, but she wasn’t. Who the heck would I be dating?

Bummer. Zane shifted in his seat. Me neither.

Joanie snorted. I can’t imagine why not. You could have your pick of freshman.

Zane rolled his eyes and snarled at her. Bite me.

Just yesterday, on their way home from town, she and Zane passed at least three freshman girls who waved and said hello to Zane as they walked by. Funny thing was, Zane wasn’t out there doing the kinds of things that would get him noticed. He wasn’t a jock. He wasn’t an actor, either. He wasn’t into robotics or the orchestra or ski club. He didn’t participate in really anything at all that would make him popular. Quite the opposite, actually, and not one single sport. Well, unless you counted disc golf as a sport. He was just a guy, a geek even, and Joanie figured he had no idea how adorable he was. That was one of the many reasons that she liked Zane. That, and they could talk about girls together.

Speaking of girls, Samantha walked right by the bus as they got off.

Hey, Samantha, Zane said, smiling uncertainly and giving his ex-girlfriend a little wave. Joanie could hear the hopeful tone in his voice, but Samantha completely ignored him and kept on walking. Joanie winced. Ouch.

Zane sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging. Damn.

Joanie never really understood why Samantha and Zane had broken up. Whatever it was, Zane seemed to feel like it was his fault, and he obviously still liked her or he wouldn’t try to say hello every time she walked by. Joanie never asked directly, but she figured Zane was at least partly to blame or Samantha would have said hello back.

There are other girls, Z, she told him, patting his back.

I guess. Zane let Joanie pull him into the school with her.

Chapter Two

Math was the third class of the morning and it was followed by lunch. Joanie thought the school lunches were pretty disgusting, and she rarely ate whatever hot food they were serving. She could make her own lunches and bring them, but she always forgot to make them the night before and then was always running late in the morning, too. Usually she got a salad and an apple or something like that and that was about it.

She and Zane sat together, as always, poking at their food and looking around the lunchroom.

So how did the test go for you? Joanie asked.

It wasn’t bad, actually. You?

Cake. Joanie grinned.

Natch. Zane sighed a something caught his eye. Oh, look. Today she’s sitting with David Arch.

David Arch was on the football team. He was tall and sturdy and, like most football players, he was popular with girls and had a lot of friends. Zane, forget Samantha.

Yeah, yeah.

Seriously, look. Joanie pointed carefully, so only Zane could see. Over there. Julie Smith.

What about her?

She’s cute, right?

Zane leaned his chin in his palm, pouting. Julie’s stuck up, Jo.

Hmm. That was true enough. Okay, how about Susan?

Susan Parker?

Yes. Susan Parker. She’s pretty, she gets good grades… Joanie had drawn pictures of Susan in her journal about a year ago when they were in an art class together. Susan was nice. Quiet and kind of shy, but nice.

Oh, God. No. You know Adam Kennedy?

Adam Kennedy had asked Joanie out to a movie once in eighth grade. He’d had a mouth full of braces, just like she had at the time and adorable blue eyes, but she just hadn’t been interested and she’d turned him down. He’d looked so disappointed. Yeah, I know Adam. She dated him?

Well, sort of. I heard her dad came to the door with a rifle when Adam tried to pick her up once.

Joanie’s eyes went wide. What?

Yeah. Adam took her home half an hour before her curfew and never went out with her again.

Joanie winced. Geez. That can’t be true.

Oh, no? Do you see her with a boyfriend?

Well, no…

Uh-huh. Zane shook his head. Psycho Daddy. No way.

Joanie sighed. Fine. So not Susan. What about… Joanie looked around the room. Oh.

Lauren Harper, they both whispered as Lauren walked across the room.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Lauren was a cheerleader. She was on the yearbook committee, sang in the choir, played the flute in the orchestra and was the Junior Class President. There were probably other things on Lauren’s list of activities that popular overachievers should do, but Joanie couldn’t remember what they were. Lauren was beautiful, with long blonde hair and big blue eyes, and despite being one of those high profile girls that was good at everything and had boys falling all over her, she was pretty friendly, too. That almost never happened.

Zane and Lauren watched her until Zane finally pointed out why Lauren wasn’t an option. Damn.

Ethan?

Zane nodded. Ethan.

And that was that. Lauren was taken; everyone knew it. She had been since they were all in eighth grade. Lauren and Ethan were so inseparable that Zane called them Laurethan, a name that had stuck and had been adopted by lots of kids at school.

Of course, Joanie and Zane had been inseparable forever, too, but everyone knew they were just friends. No one was calling them Zajoanie or Jozane or anything.

At least, Joanie hoped to hell not.

Give it up, Joanie, and face it. We know all of these girls.

Not all of them, Joanie protested. There are some we barely ever see.

Okay, most of them.

He was right; there wasn’t much point in arguing with him. Well if it makes you feel any better, I can’t get a date either.

Zane looked at her. We’ll just be single together then. I don’t need a girlfriend, right?

Joanie smiled. Yeah? Well, me neither.

Zane bumped shoulders with her. We’re good.

After school, Joanie called her mother from her cell phone to tell her she was going to hang out at Zane’s. Her after school ‘plans’ had been just to go home and draw, but it seemed like Zane needed some company so she told him they’d been cancelled.

Are you staying for dinner?

I don’t know, Mom. Maybe?

Her mother sighed. Yes or no, Joanie, I need to know.

Yes, then.

Okay. If you walk home, please text me first so I know you’re on your way.

Yes, Mom.

And say hello to Zane for me.

Joanie snorted into the phone. Bye, Mom. Joanie’s mom was convinced that she and Zane were boyfriend and girlfriend, no matter how many time Joanie told her they were just good friends. Joanie had given up arguing about it ages ago.

They got off the bus and, instead of parting ways or heading to their hang out spot at the graveyard, Joanie went with Zane to his house. The house was empty; Zane’s mom was a nurse and she worked weird hours and his dad worked in the city and usually wasn’t home until after seven. Zane didn’t have any sisters or brothers either. Joanie sometimes envied how he had the house to himself all the time, but mostly she just felt bad for him.

Hungry?

I’m not the bottomless pit you are, Z.

Shut up. I know you want popcorn. Zane waved a bag at her.

Joanie laughed. You don’t have to be hungry to eat popcorn. She leaned on the counter while Zane put the bag in the microwave and got them each a Diet Coke, and picked up a magazine with Demi Lovato on the cover. Oh, ho! Someone’s got a crush.

Zane looked over his shoulder and shrugged. What? She’s pretty.

Please. Joanie rolled her eyes. What’s with her hair? She looks like she chopped it off with her eyes closed. She flipped a page. Ah, Lili Reinhart. Now she is pretty.

Show me?

Joanie held up the magazine.

Oh, yeah. Definitely. Wow.

Oh! And Victoria Justice.

"She’s the No Kiss List chick?" Zane asked.

Yep.

Yeah. Zane nodded. She has nice eyes. And I love her hair. I’d totally date her.

Joanie sighed. She’d probably go for you, too. Who wouldn’t? Zane was a serious catch – for a straight girl. At this point I’d date one of your mom’s tacky kitchen chairs if it claimed to be a lesbian and asked me out.

Oh, come on, Jo. It’s not that bad.

What do you know about it, Zane? You could have a date tonight if you wanted one.

Yeah. With a freshman.

Hey, it’s a date. Joanie tossed the magazine back on the table and crossed her arms over her chest. When was the last time you kissed a girl?

What?

Tell me.

Well, it was Samantha. Joanie didn’t need to look at Zane to know he was blushing. So… maybe a month ago?

Uh-huh. Now ask me.

Jo…

Go on, Zane. Ask me.

Zane shook his head at her as he brought over a bowl of popcorn, but he asked. Fine. When was the last time you—

Never.

Jo…

No, really, Zane. Never.

You’ve never kissed a girl?

"Or a guy for