In the Jingle Jangle Jungle: Keeping Time with the Brian Jonestown Massacre

List of Illustrations

p.43 Busking on Haight Street, 1994 (courtesy of Jean-Paul Ligon)

p.78 Couchsurfing, 1995 (courtesy of Joel Gion)

p.81 Days before my first disappearance, 1995

(courtesy of Joel Gion)

p.96 The Brian Jonestown Massacre with Mara Keagle, Bimbos, 1996 (courtesy of Desirée Pfeiffer)

p.96 Dean and me, Bimbos, 1996 (courtesy of Desirée Pfeiffer)

p.96 Dave D, our manager, and me, Bimbos, 1996

(courtesy of Desirée Pfeiffer)

p.97 Anton and me, Bimbos, 1996 (courtesy of Desirée Pfeiffer)

p.97 Anton and me, Bimbos, 1996 (courtesy of Desirée Pfeiffer)

p.138 Peter from The Dandy Warhols and me, 1996

(courtesy of Joel Gion)

p.148 Arriving in Portland, 1996 (courtesy of Ondi Timoner)

p.196 Monterey Pop Festival, 1997 (courtesy of Lindsay Ljungkull)

p.196 Jeff Davies and Peter Hayes at Monterey Pop Festival, 1997 (courtesy of Lindsay Ljungkull)

p.197 Monterey Pop Festival, 1997 (courtesy of Lindsay Ljungkull)

p.197 Monterey Pop Festival, 1997 (courtesy of Lindsay Ljungkull)

p.240 My fake ID card, 1997 (courtesy of Joel Gion)

p.262 Official promo shot by Mick Rock

(courtesy of the estate of Mick Rock)

p.265 Myself, Anton and Miranda at home

(courtesy of Bob Berg/Getty Images)

p.272 Charles, Dean and Anton in San Francisco, 1998

(courtesy of Lindsay Ljungkull)

p.278 Strung Out in Heaven tour, 1998 (courtesy of Joel Gion)

p.291 Chinatown (courtesy of Jonathan Kochan)

p.302 Canadian cabin, 1998 (courtesy of Joel Gion)

p.311 Dean, Charles and Adam (courtesy of Lindsay Ljungkull)

p.336 Night of the Bloody Tambourine (courtesy of Joel Gion)

p.342 Dig! at the Sundance Film Festival (courtesy of Joel Gion)

Jacket: author headshot (courtesy of Andreas Turau)

Prologue

I lumber up onto the packed Greyhound bus and all eyes worriedly fix on me, as I knew they would, being that the entire front of my body from the waist up is splattered with dried blood. My powder-

blue corduroy Levi’s trucker jacket helps to accentuate the bloody visual by two-toning the blood dried within and over the fuzzy perforated fabric lines. I look down to see what they are seeing and I am indeed the body-count movie slasher Manson Family man with exploding hair and face framed by werewolf facial fur. What few empty seats there are suddenly start filling with pushed-over bags and extending legs. Now midway down the unwelcoming aisle of frightened-looking people, I glance over my shoulder toward

the front again to make sure I haven’t passed anything open just as the automated announcement instructs Please give priority for front seats to seniors and people with disabilities. Hmm, nothing about riders who look like axe murderers, so I continue on down the aisle and sit toward the back next to a young girl buried in a book. She stops reading, looks me over and then the book comes back up higher than before.

I wouldn’t even be wearing this bloody thing if it wasn’t so damn cold in San Francisco today, and I’m way too hungover to add freezing-my-ass-off to the mix. Anyway, the weird part of me was curious as to how it would feel to just own it, being covered in blood while walking through the crowded San Francisco Transbay Bus Terminal. I guess nobody wanted to spend a quarter on reporting the guy who looked to have just stepped out of The Shining’s elevator shower now walking around the giant station in a daze, which I suppose actually isn’t the strangest thing in the world for this place. The old man at the ticket counter hadn’t even bothered to look at me. When I think about it, I’d have had much more to worry about if I’d been sporting this look the last time I was in this dilapidated 1930s art-

moderne-plausible terminus, back when life at the drug warehouse I was living in had gotten too hot and I was skipping town just days before it was raided by the DEA.

That whole situation had started out optimistically in the days of being a giant living space for artistic whimsy through music, photography and painting, as well as a place to deal in mass quantities of ecstasy and LSD, and while I hadn’t been involved in the business side, I had been tasked with painting sheets of blotter paper with the liquid acid, and this covered my monthly rent and utilities. Beyond that I was like the in-house musician mascot and charter member of the twenty-four-hour party people.

Over time too much business had crept through the cracks and tipped the scales in the wrong direction, and like the business of business does, it turned everything into something else, something darker with new underground entrepreneurial avenues and I could only watch in dismay as it all morphed away from its early 90s innocence of E’s, acid and artists.

My singer Anton Newcombe saved me that time by inviting me up to Portland to restart The Brian Jonestown Massacre with him. Right before that we’d been riding a high with three albums released in the space of a year and enough industry hype built up to do a big record label showcase in Los Angeles, where it all went rapidly south. Down, down into the ground and down, down, further down to the center of the earth where it continued through and out the other side off the coast of Madagascar and up, up and away into outer space ten thousand light years from now until finally being swallowed by the biggest black hole the universe has to offer. We were dysfunctional. Anton started over up in Portland to join the local music scene led by our friends The Dandy Warhols. That didn’t work out for some reason, and not long after I got the call. With or without musical allies we were out to spark a musical movement, a revolution if you will.

Anyway, if somebody did bother to go find a payphone and call the cops on me, would the situation be any more believable if I just told them the truth? This blood? The human blood completely covering the front of my jacket? My tambourine did that…

Part I

J.O.B.

I was born in 1970, the year that because of math killed the 60s. For the entire nine months of my mother’s pregnancy, she told everyone I was going to be a girl. She and my father already had my brother the previous year, so in preparation for the upcoming me she’d channeled all her psychic reproductive energy into having a girl. I’m not sure to what extent, if any, her Mother Nature manipulation powers willed it into effect—but I do seem to be fine-tuned-in with my feminine side.

During her final weeks of pregnancy she took me along inside her to my first-ever live concert which was Ike & Tina Turner during the height of their soul-funk heyday. Just a few weeks later I broke my collarbone being born, which I’d like to think was from trying to do a Tina Turner-style strut-shimmy into the world.

I was seven years old the second time my parents took me to visit San Francisco. We spent the day doing all the usual touristy things—Pier 39, Alcatraz Island, Chinatown and the cable car to Union Square. It was as we rolled up and down the steep slopes of Nob Hill that I realized this place was as magical as any place could be. It was dreamlike and timeless and so full of new sensations both wonderful and repulsive, often at the same time.

In the cable car sitting on the wooden bench directly opposite us, leaning into the corner, was the dirtiest man I had ever seen. He was asleep and seemed to be the only person on board not affected by the constant jerking and vibrating rattle of the antiquated wood and iron transport. Maybe more vivid than anything else I experienced that day, I remember the look and smell of that man on our deep descent down Powell Street. His tan suit and large bushy silver beard were covered in multiple shades of different grime coatings. He was caked over in multi-layers of browns and grays like city alleyway camouflage.

So pungent was the smell that it seemed to have actual physical properties in its thick intake. It was hard to breathe in, yet its sheer authority over the senses made it curiously fascinating. I’d never physically felt an odor before. They didn’t have those where I was growing up in nearby San Jose, but here it seemed anything could happen. If a cow were to be suddenly seen floating in circles around the top of Coit Tower, I would have accepted it as is.

In reality, what that smell was, I would find out years later was actually not this man’s own private brimstone, but the antiquated wooden braking pads of the cable car smoldering as they gripped the moving underground cables. This was only the first of many tricks San Francisco had waiting to play on me.

And so the very week I turned the legal age of eighteen, I raced excitedly through the black darkness like a new-born baby turtle toward the blazing eternal flame of freedom lit by the beats and the hippies. Along with my friend Michael, another escapee from juvenile-age jail, we made the joint official adult transformation into a circa 1930s San Francisco apartment at 2220 Taylor Street in North Beach.

Still, despite my built-in obsession with the city, in all my years daydreaming of a life here the one detail that was never really factored into the fantasy was the reality of needing steady employment. So after failing to pay my share of the rent for the first two months, my new little old Italian landlord paid me a personal visit and in a mere matter of moments advanced my thinking from the I don’t want to do anything stage to the I’m willing to do anything stage.

Michael, who unlike me was fresh with new inheritance money and didn’t need to find work, was in the middle of a nonstop coming out-of-the-closet party in the middle of the most closet-less city in the world. My having no bread made it hard to go out and meet people while he seemed to have more and more new friends every day, both gay and straight.

Despite not needing to find a job, Michael found himself looking for employment anyway—for me. Realizing he was much better at getting motivated for me to find employment than I was, he quickly found me a job connection through his self-proclaimed fag hag friend’s boyfriend Eric. He worked as a DJ announcer and part-time security at the Mitchell Brothers O’Farrell Theater, one of the most famous strip clubs in San Francisco.

After meeting and hanging out, with Eric the following afternoon, it was obvious to him that my performing the same required job tasks would likely be an ill-fit. Still, we were in a jam and he wanted to help. Just come by the club tomorrow and meet the boss, he sighed.

The boss, it turned out, was one of the Mitchell brothers himself, Jim, who thanks to Eric was hiring me sight unseen. We were in the casino-like lobby of the strip club while Jim Mitchell, in a white shirt and black bow tie gave me the rundown of the joint in what was not only my first job interview of any kind, but also my first time inside of a strip club. I was a freshly minted eighteen-year-old and didn’t even know shit about not knowing shit let alone how this was all going to work.

My folded-arms over puffed-out-chest routine seemed to be sort of successfully hiding my overwhelming desire to just run away as he chomped on a cigar and rattled off my duties one by one, each with its own finger point to my chest like a physical exclamation point.

Don’t let anyone jerk off in the seats. Finger recoils back into fist, then he reshoots.

There’s no liquor allowed in the building so make sure nobody is sneaking booze into the bathroom.

He reloads his finger and fires again: You wear a white shirt and black tie every day, no excuses. I had neither of those.

He then pulls free the slobbery cigar from his mouth which now becomes the new pointer. Now go in there, pointing the cigar at the showroom double doors, and watch the girls dance for a while.

I go into the dark theater and take a seat in the back row. It smells like five kinds of dirty and one kind of air freshener that liked to be a loner. There were only four or five strip-club patrons sprinkled throughout the vintage theater seating. One of them began slow clapping as the naked lady dancer onstage gathered her tiny garments from the floor while bowing and prancing backwards off and out of view.

Then suddenly from above like the voice of God running a bingo game I heard Eric:

AAND NOWW…fasten your jaws and put your hands together for the sultry SAAB-REENAA!

My stomach knotted. Oh god how was I gonna do that with any confidence let alone at all? I sat there and watched Sabrina move into the spotlight and start doing all her sultry things while the reality of this situation began to push me down lower and lower into the dark depths of the creaking leather movie chair that kept on creaking until it ran out of creaks and this whole idea croaked.

Now almost on the floor, I crawled back out of the sunken chair and crouch-creeped into the aisle and up to the swinging double doors. I peeked through one of the two small portal windows. I saw Jim Mitchell was now on the other side of the lobby with his back toward me, deep in cigar-pointing.

With the tips of my fingers doing barely more than blowing the door a kiss, I quickly skip-toed across the casino carpet and flung open one of the front gold doors and broke into a jog that didn’t end until I rounded the corner of the next block.

A few months later I was standing on a corner waiting for a crosswalk light when I happened to glance into a San Francisco Chronicle newspaper vending machine: MITCHELL BROTHERS O’FARRELL THEATER MURDER! exclaimed the headline.

Artie Mitchell was shot and killed by brother and business partner Jim Mitchell during a drug-fueled…

My next employment assignment was set up for me just a few days after the botched Mitchell brothers’ job at the Benetton sweater shop in the very touristy waterfront Cannery Shopping Center.

My first day began with learning how to fold a pile of sweaters in such a way as to make a giant version of the individual sweater pattern. Then they had me pick out 250 dollars’ worth of store merchandise to be worn during my minimum-wage paying shifts (the cost to be deducted from my first paychecks), followed by a five-minute smoke break from which I never returned.

The next day I took over my own controls and, armed with an empty résumé, walked into Blondie’s Pizza at the Powell Street cable car turnaround and was hired on the spot due to the manager wondering by my look if I also liked The Stone Roses. By happy coincidence in 1989, my two favorite things were The Stone Roses and pizza.

Blondie’s Pizza was a small slice counter literally in the center of everything. Just behind was the Tenderloin, from where the low-income old schoolers would emerge and the skid row down-and-outers would stumble to cash their change cups into pizza. A few blocks in the other direction was the financial district and its massive hive of business-suited worker bees. Being right where the Union Square–Powell Street cable-car line began, it was ground zero for the masses of tourists converging from every corner of the world.

On a typical day behind the counter back in the large open-kitchen area, you’d see maybe a stoner metal dude covered from hair to toe in white flour rolling away at large slabs of dough, two punk-rock lesbian girlfriends having a jealous argument while flinging cured meats over pies and playing The Pixies’ Surfer Rosa, bouncing puffs of flour from the white-covered hanging speakers. Flour was everywhere, and the dough station was like an alpine snow cap that dwindled away along the length of the kitchen like the side of a mountain. Last in this pizza factory assembly line and closest to the front counter stood me, sweating in front of giant dual ovens while spinning pizza pies around with a gigantic stop-sign sized spatula on a shovel handle.

The small standing-room-only front area was guarded by Tyrone, a huge muscular statuesque black twenty-one-year-old who also worked weekend nights as a bouncer at a hip hop club. He was tough as hell on the outside but a real kidder and gentle if he liked you. Sometimes in passing he’d move directly into my path, stare me down hard and wait for my eyebrows to rise like a drawbridge, then laugh heartily while giving me a friendly elbow bump that would almost knock me over.

One day he mentioned his latest nightclub job run-in with some thugs in the pursuit of legit points in the new gangsta rap world. This was the dawn of one of the most artistically important periods in rap history, but with it came a lifestyle that had droves of twenty-

somethings heading out to the clubs on a Saturday night wanting to prove who had the least fucks to give. He knew as security staff he was a target for people wanting to show how hard they were.

Something went down last night and he confessed it had all become too dangerous a situation. Resting his chin atop the broom handle he was holding, he slowly shook his head, eyes full of internal replay. Then this somber trail-off was suddenly self-disrupted with a great burst of laughter, at which point he danced away high-stepping while his upper body acted like he was operating a small rowboat. Not even the heaviest shit was gonna bring him down.

The weekend came and went and when he didn’t show up to work Monday or the next day, there was a small worried group of us down in the multipurpose basement discussing what to do when suddenly out of nowhere it hit. The entire room jerked hard and then started shaking rapidly. The walls and ceiling swayed together like an empty refrigerator box blowing in a wind gust. Tables, chairs, everything in the room was vibrating hard and fast—all the metal kitchenware utensils shivered and jingled together in holders atop steel food prep surfaces or came falling to the floor where they continued to rattle and flop around like silver Jesus fish. We were all in frozen shock as everything continued to rattle and rumble, shake, jerk and push and pull, crumble and give as the seconds went from zero to eternity. There is no all-encompassing fear like helplessly waiting for an entire city building to cave in on top

of you.

As our manager ordered us all to crowd in together under a doorway, all I could think was I don’t want to die down here, but there was a fate worse than that on the menu. Surviving down here trapped in the rubble would leave you to the thousands of cockroaches and hundreds of rats we saw giant representatives of each and every day. Eventually the city would close this place down permanently because they were beyond controlling.

Then the ceiling lights exploded and as everything went pitch black and people started screaming suddenly…nothing.

We shared a group single beat pause before we all realized the next move was to get out of there as fast as we could. We ran up the dark stairs, through the kitchen, past the cash registers, through the small eating area and right out into the mass confusion of downtown San Francisco thirty seconds after a 6.9 magnitude earthquake. There are no fallen buildings, but glass is everywhere. Already a man runs past screaming, The Bay Bridge has collapsed! The Bay Bridge collapsed!

There was no water and no power, and everyone was going to be walking home today. The false information continued to blow in the wind as I marched home along with the rest of the dazed crowds moving like slow-motion blood streams through the grid systems at the heart of the city.

When I finally got to my North Beach apartment, there was a new crack running the entire length of my bedroom wall. Another nut was running down the street outside, That was just the pre-shock! They say the real one is coming! The real one is still coming!

Fuck this.

I marched over to nearby Washington Square Park and sat cross-legged in the direct dead center of the grass where I was finally and for the first time out of reach of any potentially toppling structures. Soon night fell, and the only lights in the entire city came from the many circling overhead helicopter spotlights. With the city-wide power outage, you could actually see a full sky of stars shining brightly, further adding to the oddity of the entire situation.

I hunkered down on my newly claimed chunk of park property until finally dozing off late into the night still sitting up but with my head down in my lap. Nevertheless, I was restfully comfortable in the knowledge I was safely in one of the few places I knew this whole city couldn’t just fall on top of me.

Working at Blondie’s I met the girl I’d become engaged to. Her name was Christine, and if Shirley MacLaine’s character in Irma la Douce were a goth from the streets, that’s about what she looked like. I mean the velvet and lace kind of goth that listened to Bauhaus and Nick Cave, not the Marilyn Manson kind that came later, which should have been labeled something else. Her wardrobe only consisted of a few crushed-velvet dresses that she’d handmade herself. They were so close-fitting that because she’d hand-sewn them, she’d always be needing to make little uniform tracks of safety pins along various sections of splitting hemlines, almost like surgical staples. This unconscious added goth-ness was symbolic of her entire make-up, her barely being held together and constantly needing to mend new areas with quick fixes. Her neck and hands bloomed from frilled white lace cuffs and collars with skirt bottoms cut to mini specs over different colored hosiery with jagged runs patterned like bullet holes in boutique-shop glass that ran down into simple strap patent-leather shoes.

Words like hard and rough don’t make the cut in describing how Christine’s life started out. She was only an infant standing in her crib when she watched her father stab her mother to death with a kitchen knife. From there she was passed from foster home to foster home around the Bay Area. Some of the parents were OK, some were not. When she finally reached the legal adult age and the cops were no longer required to drag her back to guardians who could’ve gone either way, she moved to San Francisco and wound up in an abandoned building in the Tenderloin with a group of methamphetamine-shooting squatters.

When the two of us met, she’d just recently cleaned up from all the drugs and was looking for something normal. She had an air about her like she needed rescuing, and being young and romantic, gallantly rescuing a young gorgeous damsel was at the top of my new experiences to-do list. Her seeking a place to live progressed things along fast and after a handful of dates we moved into a tiny studio apartment together on the corner of Haight and Webster. For a period of many months it was more than sufficiently normal, and we were very much in love.

The problems started when normal became very normal and she eventually began to miss the drug high. Rather than letting her go out and do it elsewhere, as in finding her old crowd, I decided it would be better if I scored some for her so she could do it at home. This also meant, of course, that we both did it together. It was my first time and while I liked the euphoric high I got after we snorted the stuff (luckily, she could forgo the needle), it required long hours. Our little stretch of the Lower Haight in those days was kind of like a war zone at night and I’d already been mugged three times since moving in.

From there a weekly string of inside all-nighter nights followed, and around that time she got pregnant. We became engaged, but then just before the safe cut-off time for an abortion we chickened out and decided not to have it. While for me it was mostly a matter of wanting to wait until we were more financially secure, our co-commitment cop-out unknowingly began to erode her original vision of a normal life and it didn’t take long for old insecurities to resurface and new misunderstandings to take root and wind their way around us like dark vines.

If one were to agree that romantic love is a combination of equal portions reality and fantasy, I would have to say our mutual mixture was too heavy on the fantasy. Looking back, we may have not been the greatest fit, but we actually were, in that we were two young people both searching for something completely different from the direction we were currently traveling. A roulette detour that just might by the spin of the wheel landed us on what we didn’t even know we were looking for. It worked for a while, and to say I could see all this then would be a lie. I would’ve clung hard given the chance. Knowing this, she didn’t give me one, and one night after work I came home to a note on the bed informing me she’d left for New Orleans.

A few heartbroken weeks later I saw a band flyer taped around a telephone pole saying: TAKE ACID NOW and come see The Brian Jonestown Massacre. Beneath these instructions was a logo featuring The Rolling Stones’ Brian Jones’s head. The show date was next week and just a block and a half away at The Peacock Lounge. Even if I was going to follow the flyer’s user directions, I would wait until the show got a little closer.

The night of the show I walked alone from my apartment on the corner of Haight and Webster, past the reggae dance club, past the

trio of neon-rainbow graffitied roller metal shop shutters, past

the Chinese butcher shop, through the Fillmore Street intersection, past Café International, the futon shop where I’d bought the silk sheets that were then used the next day as a Santa Claus sack for my belongings when my apartment was robbed, past the laundromat, past The Horseshoe Cafe and right to the door of The Peacock Lounge & Gold Room.

There was a big line outside and a young guy who would turn out to be one of the band’s guitar players was excitedly holding court. Ricky will not long from now be my first friend and introduction into the new local shoegaze/60s/garage/indie/alternative scene, but for now is someone I just see at most all the shows I go to. I sneak glances at him animatedly exciting his friends with positive energy in his Greek fisherman’s cap over cherry-red curls, and it’s here and now that I see people gravitating to his glow.

The Peacock Lounge had originally been a simple downstairs lounge area for the neighborhood black Freemason meetings that were held on the floor above. In the late 1960s, they remodeled it into a private rental bar and walking inside today was like a time portal straight into a classic Blaxploitation film. Low-lit in red, purple and blues, gold-vein mirror tiles backed booze bottles resting on glass over circular mahogany, white Christmas lights streamed from overhead, leather booths lined a wall, while across the main floor the growing crowd of people stood or sat at round bar tables leading to the small stage.

Then the band came on. I’d never seen Americans, let alone young Americans my own age, playing what was at the time a specifically UK kind of music. I mostly watched Anton as he handled a large hollow-body guitar, its bulbous wooden frame making it look like he was strumming the guitar version of a cello. It was hard to see properly in the low-lit purple and green glitter reflections, but still, I could watch up close for the first time how all those lush noises could be made. The foot effects pedals, the precision and extra technique it seemed to take to hold down the fret notes on those large vintage guitars.

Finally, there was a band to get into that was not only from the USA, but lived in the same neighborhood as me.

Try Me

I turn the corner at Waller Street for the final block before I reach my scribbled destination at 734 Shrader Street, the rehearsal room for The Brian Jonestown Massacre.

It’s the side door, guitarist Ricky had instructed me over a joint in a bathroom stall at the I-Beam, right before the English shoegaze band The Pale Saints went on. I eye the number over the door and verify that this is the building, then walk to the adjacent anonymous-

looking narrow door between it and its neighboring Victorian building, both case-study models of the type that sound-staged the original San Francisco Sound of the 60s.

Before I enter I adjust my case-less sunburst 360 Rickenbacker electric guitar that I’ve got strapped on my back, holding the upside-down neck close to my leg so to not bump the headstock against the wall as I navigate the small dark corridor. I’m heading toward what looks to be the backyard, but then here is a side door into the building. This must be it.

Knock knock knock…

The door flies open as I hear Hey man! before I have time to visually register that it’s Ricky. C’mon, we were just about to start. I’ve got an amp all set up for you right here.

I duck my head through the doorway and the lighting is even lower than in the outside corridor. They are setting up and tuning guitars, plugging in effects and tatta-tat-tatting drums so the introductions are the simple acknowledgments of smiles and fast hellos.

I go over to the amp and set my naked guitar against it, then scan around the room to get my bearings amid the individual activity. The walls are partially covered with seemingly random homemade egg carton and foam pad soundproofing, and the decor beyond that is sparse: flyers from the handful of shows The Brian Jonestown Massacre have played so far, including the one I was at after spotting a street flyer, a Telescopes album poster and a few random local band stickers. Despite this originally being a subterranean-like living space, there’s no furniture and the carpet is thin. The guitar amps are topped with full-up cigarette ashtrays and repurposed drinking receptacles overfilled with more butts.

I’ve never been in a DIY-style rehearsal space before, and the dishevelment theme continues throughout. Seemingly random strips of peeling duct tape sparsely zag and zig in random spots on the carpet. Guitar and mic cords messily cover the floor like black licorice-ropes, all taking the most complicated way possible to the plug-in jacks of the big heavy amps and small effects pedals with flashing power lights.

I eye the Fender Twin Reverb guitar amplifier that has been provided for me close up. It’s red on light looks back at me and the plug-in jack is ready to be connected with my guitar, but I hesitate for a moment, not because I’ve only been playing the guitar for about six months, but because I can’t afford to own an amp of my own and in fact I’ve never even played through one.

I plug my guitar into the amp and turn the volume on. Everyone is starting to look and sound ready so I strum an E minor chord out slowly, really slow actually, so as to prolong the sound, like maybe that adds something more to it by doing so.

Normally someone would take this setting-up opportunity to squibiddy-doo some random tasty licks as a preview to the imminent sonic goods about to be rendered, but I can only play basic chords and don’t have any of those. I then strum an open G chord while dragging the strings even slower than before, just to remind everyone that I came here to do business or something and I feel the falseness of my bluff that is about to be exposed at maximum volume.

It had taken me months to spring for my 360 Rickenbacker guitar, one exactly like Ride played at their own I-Beam show almost a year ago now, but I didn’t have enough for the case, which I hadn’t bothered to get because I’d never pictured myself in a situation like this so soon. Ricky had spotted me while smoking a joint in the bathroom stall and I had the right look, I suppose, in what was a typical-day-for-me attire, armored under a tousled and sprayed Beatles-type haircut with round-toe Chelsea boots, faded jeans and plain black jumper top under café-racer-style leather jacket.

My clothes signified which music subculture I held allegiance to and so here I was. I’d seen and liked his band, was very attentive and seemingly the perfect mate to be pontificated to as I didn’t have anything musically going myself except untapped high-grade enthusiasm.

It had been an unspoken celebratory all-day event when the Ride and Lush tour came to town in April of 1991. It was the first big shoegaze show in SF, an event that would help ignite the local scene. Everyone who was about to become the local shoegaze scene was at Rough Trade Records that afternoon for the in-store record signing appearance of both bands. Fittingly on Haight Street, everyone all together now and in daylight for the first time, a new society of reverb and weed, shoegazer baggy babylings that would grow into Britpoppers in just a few short years.

The local chapter of a new worldwide music subculture was born, manifested out of our private record collections and into the streets of San Francisco, and this was the new scene I wanted to be in. All of us bedroom nomads now for the first time had places to be, with our own bands to see, and the more we gathered together the more we built in numbers, turning it all into a music clique of familiar faces repeatedly showing up to listen and see and be seen on the scene. With its 4AD record label aesthetic, shoegaze was a new music style with a sound that had never existed before, and BJM were already the most interesting of our local pack.

Greg sits at the kit in the corner of the room wearing John Lennon glasses. His shortish brown hair and plain white T-shirt give him a more straight-ahead look than the other three, as is often the way with drummers. Travis has longer bright cherry-red hair that frames his all-American boy-goes-geisha face au naturel. His green parka purposely comes off both of the shoulders and he’s riding a disjointed line between Kurt Cobain and a frayed teddy bear in that way girls really like. Ricky laughs a lot and when he does he somehow reminds me of Bugs Bunny in drag, but having just taken the make-up off except for the fake eyelashes, if that makes any sense. His