Summer Coffee

Contents

Prologue

Coffee Fix

Age in Numbers

Turbulent Tides

Living Arrangements

Dirty Laundry Dinner

No Shame

The Pink Dress

Mom, Dad, Meet Ellie

Struggle to Believe

Summer School

In the Woods

Don’t Let Go

Summer Storms

School’s Out

Shower Suds

The Color Green

The Talk

My Worst Fear

Lights Out, Night Out

All or Nothing

Hidden Scars

ETA

Later. . .

Acknowledgments

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, events, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events or locales is entirely coincidental. All medical and other references are fictitious in nature and should not be taken as facts or advice.

Text copyright © 2022 by C.S. McKinney.

Illustration copyright © by S.L. McKinney.

First Edition

All rights reserved. No whole or part of this publication may be reproduced, or stored, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, future means, or otherwise, without written permission of the author.

For more information, please visit www.csmckinney.com

ISBN: 979-8-35090-476-5

ISBN eBook: 979-8-35090-476-5

This book is dedicated to my grandmother.

By C.S. McKinney

If and Only If

A Ring Within a Field

Summer Coffee

For more information, visit:

www.csmckinney.com

Prologue

The sting of betrayal was direct and passed swiftly, but the scars from love lingered each day. Despite my best efforts, seeing through this dark period only became tougher, long before ever becoming easy. However, it was while I remained blinded by this veil of sorrow that subtle important pieces which formed my life went unnoticed.

For months, I had visited the same simple coffee house with Vivian, and each day, I ordered the exact bland blend with no cream or sugar. Unlike myself, Vivian’s custom drink was a concoction that I had attempted to order for her numerous times, but after several fails, she insisted on doing so herself.

Along with our routine of stopping by in the mornings, I brought papers to grade while she read her book. Initially, our conversations flourished with a promising future and accompanying love that seemed genuine. But toward the end, we had slowly grown apart in that aspect.

Soon, the motions of everydayness became normal, possibly like any couple in a long-term relationship. But then things changed. . . not by choice, but by circumstance. Still, it was months later before I began seeing common sights in a new light. For one, I had never noticed that it was the same person working behind the counter. Likewise, I also recognized other people, but more specifically the girl that began visiting the coffee shop.

All in time, the shadows of the past had faded, and new aspects of life grasped my consciousness. And all in time, those same aspects began to notice me.

1

Coffee Fix

The coffee tasted slightly more bitter this morning as her last words filtered through my head. Accompanied by a long school year filled with less than attentive high schoolers, imagining the next few months of summer school as enjoyable was a far cry. Yet, at 7:30 on a Saturday morning, I sat grading the first geography quiz of the semester, shaking my head and wavering on why I signed up for this.

The question, however, lacked meaning in so many ways. I knew the reason I sat twiddling a pencil on a fair summer morning instead of bobbing along the lake in my kayak, or hiking solo across country, was the mere fact that I was single. After a less than civil breakup, I found myself tormented when I was alone. Work had kept me busy through the month of April and into May, but I knew better than to take a summer vacation and be left with my own thoughts.

I raked my fingers across my three-day scruff, which looked patchy, but, at the same point, I cared less to shave. Dropping my pencil on the table, I closed my eyes and tried to drown out the surrounding noise of the coffee shop. Coming in here to grade papers was one of the few ways I found sanity, yet today was proving more of a struggle. Sighing deeply, I opened my eyes and peered around. Luckily, there was no one to notice my distressed state. Aside from the young man cleaning, whom thankfully I had not taught because I drove specifically out of district to avoid students, I was the only one who occupied the room.

I took another sip of my coffee before realizing I had already downed the first round of high octane, and would need another if any work was to be done today. Sliding my chair back with a screech, I fished my wallet from my pocket while approaching the counter. Same, I said. The guy nodded and retrieved the still simmering pot. The amount of coffee I bought, coupled with my meager teacher’s salary, made me question the choices I had made in life.

When I was dating Vivian, I made the dumbest mistake ever. I agreed to move in together. Why? Well, it made sense. Marriage was in full view of our future. I had bought the ring she specifically picked out, was planning the right time to pop the question, and everyone had told us to live together before we got married. Even though this was against my beliefs, I decided if we were getting married anyway, then why not? Well, now I knew why.

I returned to my table and, while setting the coffee alongside my papers, the ding of the door caused me to misplace the cup, spilling coffee across the ungraded stack. Quickly, I grabbed the cup; if not for the lid on top, all the papers would have been lost. Even so, the mishap left me aggravated enough to pack up.

Grabbing some napkins from a nearby stand, my eyes noticed the cause of my misfortune. A fair-skin blonde had passed through the door, now gleaming with a smile as she greeted the barista. His obvious attempt at flirting with her must have been working, for she started to laugh. Seeing she was cute, had a killer smile, and a certain appeal that caught people’s eyes, I could not blame him.

I continued to watch as I attempted to dry the stained papers, waiting to see if there was a spark. I wasn’t sure why, because I did not care if anyone else was happy when I was struggling.

Losing interest, I looked down at the papers, trying to decide how to pack them away, while not allowing the wet ones to stick together. More napkins were the obvious answer. Leaving my seat once again, I shot a look back at the counter. The girl was gone, but the guy continued making noises in the back as he kept busy cleaning.

Upon gathering my work, I stood to head outside. At that time, the bathroom door opened and the blonde appeared from around the corner. It was obvious with the delay in which she appeared that she was discarding the paper towel used for opening the door. I stopped briefly to pull the keys from my pocket, but as she passed by, either from just the glow of her skin or out of politeness, she smiled. Before I could attempt to do the same in return, our paths had already crossed. So, without delay, I continued my exit, through the door draped with the banner reading, Congrats Class of ’01, and into the warm summer morning.

Outside, my car’s peeling paint sat baking in the sun next to a red Honda. Although my Camry was knocking on 200,000, I had never discovered any issues, but seeing her next to the newer Accord proved differently.

I opened the door and placed the papers in the back floorboard before returning to the driver’s seat. Plopping down inside, my heart jumped in surprise as I noticed the blonde, cup in hand, running in my direction. Had my spilled coffee run onto the floor, and she was coming to chastise me for leaving a puddle for her to step in? Exhaling in frustration, I braced for the same kind of lashing my students liked to hand out upon receiving a failing grade, while knowing my job required me to not counter. However, as she reached the edge of my car, the worried face that she portrayed across the parking lot broke into the smile from before.

Excuse me, she said.

Yes, can I help you?

Are you Llyod?

I winced upon hearing my first name. Never in my life had I liked being called Llyod. Well, actually it’s Nathan.

Mr. Harper then?

Another disliked name, one which I had been beckoned with countless times from students that it no longer had a professional ring. Yet, as she innocently stood looking down at me, it felt genuine. Llyod Nathan Harper, but my friends call me Nate, I continued awkwardly.

Oh, I’m so sorry, Nate. I didn’t mean to. . .

It’s alright. What can I do for you? Or better yet, how did you know my name? I inserted a laugh as she squeamishly smiled at the round of questions.

I. . . ugh. . . found your wallet on the counter when I picked up my drink, she continued, displaying the brown leather bundle that bulged with slips of paper, not to be confused with money. I wasn’t sure if it was yours, but I noticed you inside, and the license matched. . . well, minus the beard.

The beard? Was she trying to be nice, or was that an actual compliment toward my scruff?

Oh, I broke, padding my pockets, noticing they were empty. Thank you so much. I would have been in a mess if I’d driven all the way home without it.

Are you not from here? she asked, almost catching herself for being so bold as to ask.

I live in the next town over, but it’s nice to get out of there from time to time. How about you?

I’m from here, she replied with no further details. Instead, she stood waiting, as if for me to carry the conversation.

Oh, I see. And what brings you to the coffee shop? Probably the dumbest question I’d ever asked a girl, but it blurted from my mouth before I knew what I was saying.

Well, like you said, it’s nice to get out of the house, but our coffee pot broke this morning, and this is where I like to go every now and then.

Oh, so you’re on the way to buy a new one?

Ha, no. I’m actually going to meet a friend at the pool.

The pool. . . before eight o’clock?

Ha-ha, she laughed. At nine, but I like to get there early and read a little beforehand. Either she could tell I felt awkward asking such questions, or she was interested, for the next words out of her mouth caught my attention. What about you?

Me?

Yeah, do you have any fun plans for today?

Right now, I’m just working, going through papers, and trying to get ahead. A slight frown drew across her face, leaving me to provide assurance. It’s alright though. I like to keep busy.

The frown soon transitioned as her teeth shone through her lips. Why don’t you come to the pool with me?

An insistency hung in her voice, but why bother with inviting a stranger? I wouldn’t want to infringe with your date, and besides, you don’t even know me.

Llyod Nathan Harper, 110 Ellen Street, organ donor.

You read my license? I laughed.

I glanced at it, then may or may not have called the CIA to run your license.

I sighed deeply, trying to decide what to do. There was something I had planned for, besides grading papers, but my thoughts escaped me.

Honestly, I don’t have anything for swimming.

I wasn’t planning on getting in the pool anyway, so you’ll be fine.

This girl was sweet, and although persistent, she didn’t come across as pushy, but instead appeared in some admirably honest way.

Okay, you win. Where are we going, or can I follow you there?

It would be easier if you rode with me.

Do you really trust a stranger enough to let them in your car?

I trust you, Nate.

Four words was all it took to truly convince me. I had known her less than five minutes, but that’s all it took. There’s just one issue.

Oh?

You haven’t told me your name.

She giggled, Ha, of course. I’m Eloise, but my friends call me Ellie.

I kind of like Eloise better.

That’s fine, Lloyd.

I smirked as she let out a slight laugh.

Ellie it is. If you want, I can drive us to the pool.

I may be inviting a stranger to ride with me, but I know better than to get into someone else’s car.

Fair enough. I looked inside my car, trying to determine if there was anything I needed. I grabbed a hat and my sunglasses as they appeared to be the only items of use.

Locking my door, I stepped around to the driver’s side of Ellie’s car. Her inquisitive look implied the hidden worry of me wanting to drive, yet she stood waiting and watching. Swinging open the door, I paused and took a step backwards. Ellie’s apprehension transitioned to a smile as she walked around to the driver’s seat and I shut the door.

By the time I made my way to the passenger side, she had clearly taken a quick peak in the mirror to adjust her hair. No doubt she was gorgeous, and although I had promised myself to not date that summer, I could already feel that being renegotiated in my head.

A sparce crowd encompassed the pool as the heat of the day began to shine through the clouds. A few kids played in the shallow water while Ellie placed her pink towel on a chair at the deep end. Tugging a matching one from her bag, she handed it to me. Sorry about the color, but I always carry two, just in case I get in the pool, or a kid splashes me.

I’ll save it for later, I joked, placing the towel on the backrest as I adjusted the recliner bracket.

Amidst getting situated, I found myself debating whether to take off my shirt. I was far from having my ideal beach body, given the recent onset of emotional eating, but I wasn’t sporting a pot belly either. Before I could decide, however, I noticed Ellie standing in front of me. She tugged her shirt over her head and laid it neatly on the near side table. Absolutely beautiful, I thought. Ellie began to shift out of her shorts, and I felt my heart skip a beat. That’s when she turned around and smiled, catching me admiring her.

What? she laughed.

Nothing. I was just thinking about losing my shirt.

Well, this is the pool after all.

Breaking my gaze, I stood to lift the shirt from my shoulders. The last thing I wanted was to be bent over with a belly bulge, but for some reason, I didn’t think Ellie would have cared either way.

Taking a seat beside her, I pulled on my hat and sunglasses. Easing back into the warm vinyl, I watched as Ellie gathered her water bottle and glasses from her bag. Reaching inside again, she withdrew a sunbathing skirt and skittishly wrapped it around her swimsuit bottoms.

You can have some of my water.

Thanks, but I’m fine right now. Aren’t you going to read your book? I asked, noticing she left it tucked away.

No, I have you to talk to now, she laughed.

As much as I loved the fact that she rather speak to me than read, I had nothing to talk about, or nothing interesting at least. Luckily, the painstaking silence I feared was quickly brought to a halt as a young lady approached us. At first, I worried it was a student who recognized me, but that uneasiness quickly shifted as she began to address Ellie.

There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.

Ellie lifted her back from the chair, crossing her legs beneath her. The agitation in her voice felt unintentional, only onset by the realization that a relaxing morning was not meant to continue. I told you I’d be at the pool at nine o’clock, I just got here early.

Well, I hate to bail on our pool date, but Matthew, you know the guy I was telling you about, wants to spend the day together on the lake.

Ellie was clearly confused as her friend sat down beside her. Come with me. It will be so much fun. And I’d feel more relaxed if you were there. Ellie looked over to judge my reaction, which quickly led to the other girl acknowledging my presence.

Oh, who’s this? she said, raising an eyebrow with both curiosity and acceptance.

This is my friend, Nate. Nate, this is Tiffany.

I leaned up and extended my hand, unsure of what else to do.

Pleasure, she said with a grin, before returning her inquiring eyes to Ellie. Nate is welcome to come along as well. I’m sure no one will mind; the boat’s pretty big.

Ellie never turned around to ask me, but she must have known what I was thinking, for she gave a simple, We’re going to enjoy the pool today, but next time. . .

Until that point, I had yet to speak, but for whatever reason, I said what I rather I had not. You can go ahead; I’ve got work to finish anyway.

What time are you taking the boat out? Ellie continued.

I reclined in my chair, seeing the hopes of a fun day with Ellie evaporating.

Twelve o’clock. But I need to go shopping for a new bathing suit beforehand.

Okay, see you at noon then?

Oh, thank you, Ellie! Tiffany shrieked, as she clasped her arms around Ellie’s neck. With her excitement conveyed, Tiffany stood and hurried away. It was nice to meet you, Nate! she waved over her shoulder as she reached the other end of the pool. Without her lingering for a reply, I motioned a likewise with my hand.

As Tiffany disappeared, Ellie reclined in her chair, disregarding the conversation. Realizing her contentment with no further discussion, I waited for a few minutes in silence before breaking the looming tension. All roads pointed toward home, and my ride was leaving.

I should probably get back to my car.

Why? she asked, looking over in confusion.

So you can meet up with Tiffany, and help her find a swimsuit.

She’ll be fine. Tiffany doesn’t need my input on clothes anyway.

I cleared my throat, Like I said, I have work waiting at home.

Are you not coming with me?

Well, you said you’d see her later.

Ha, actually. . . I said, ‘See you later.’ The ‘we will’ was implied.

Does that mean I’m losing a disagreement on a technicality?

I wasn’t disagreeing. . . I figured you would bow out, so I didn’t bother asking.

Somehow this girl was already taking a claim inside my head. Not only could I not get her out but something inside now also worried me. Tiffany was extremely young-looking. Based on her developing figure and social demeanor alone, she clearly resided in high school. If my intuition was true, Tiffany and Ellie being friends would change our situation rather quickly.

Ellie?

Yes, Nate?

I need to ask you something.

Oh, what is it?

I lowered my voice to a whisper, How old are you?

I thought guys weren’t supposed to ask girls their age? she laughed.

Was she teasing me? Clearly, I looked my age; she, however, did not.

I mean, Tiffany looks like she’s in high school, but are you?

Oh, Nate. . . I’m not in high school. Tiffany is younger than me. The release of my entrapped sigh was apparently obvious, for Ellie reached across, giving my hand a squeeze. Relax, Nate. At the softness of her touch, I melted. Never had a girl caused such an instant effect on me. I almost hated myself for letting someone in so quickly, but it felt natural. What if we grab a bite to eat and find you a pair of swimming trunks?

That’s probably a good idea. But are you sure you want me tagging along?

I’m sure.

Ellie threaded her legs through her shorts, lifting her hips as she snugged the material over her waist. She slid her feet to the side closest to me and picked up her shirt. Daftly, she tugged the fabric over her head and down the smoothness of her stomach. I quickly gathered my shirt and grabbed her bag. Ellie walked close to my side, as if letting everyone know that she was with me. At that point, the thoughts of my ex, Vivian, faded away, and I felt part of my confidence return. I laced my fingers around Ellie’s, engulfing her hand inside mine. Only then did she lean her head onto my shoulder for the entire walk to the car.

2

Age in Numbers

Our hands never parted their embrace after she handed me the keys. I had opened the driver door once again, but this time she merely slipped the keys in my hand and walked around to the other side. Playing along, I followed her, opening the passenger door before returning to turn the ignition. As we settled inside, she clasped our hands together and rested them on her leg.

Where to first? I asked, meeting her welcoming eyes.

Should we stop by your place, or would you rather buy some new swimming trunks?