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Everywhere Blue
Everywhere Blue
Everywhere Blue
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Everywhere Blue

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A brother's disappearance turns one family upside down, revealing painful secrets that threaten the life they've always known.

When twelve-year-old Maddie's older brother vanishes from his college campus, her carefully ordered world falls apart. Nothing will fill the void of her beloved oldest sibling. Meanwhile Maddie's older sister reacts by staying out late, and her parents are always distracted by the search for Strum. Drowning in grief and confusion, the family's musical household falls silent.

Though Maddie is the youngest, she knows Strum better than anyone. He used to confide in her, sharing his fears about the climate crisis and their planet's future. So, Maddie starts looking for clues: Was Strum unhappy? Were the arguments with their dad getting worse? Or could his disappearance have something to do with those endangered butterflies he loved . . .

Scared and on her own, Maddie picks up the pieces of her family's fractured lives. Maybe her parents aren't who she thought they were. Maybe her nervous thoughts and compulsive counting mean she needs help. And maybe finding Strum won't solve everything--but she knows he's out there, and she has to try.

This powerful debut novel in verse addresses the climate crisis, intergenerational discourse, and mental illness in an accessible, hopeful way. With a gorgeous narrative voice, Everywhere Blue is perfect for fans of Eventown and OCDaniel.
 
An NCTE Notable Verse Novel
A Mighty Girl Best Book of the Year
A Bank Street Best Children's Book of the Year
Cybils Award Poetry Winner!
LanguageEnglish
PublisherHoliday House
Release dateJun 1, 2021
ISBN9780823450602

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    Book preview

    Everywhere Blue - Joanne Rossmassler Fritz

    Book Title Page

    DIMINUENDO

    November

    November pulls me down.

    Like a diminuendo in music,

    gradually dying away.

    Darkness falls too early

    and the chill creeps in.

    Before dusk,

    before we learn the truth

    about my brother,

    this day plays out

    like any ordinary day,

    a symphony of sameness.

    Just the way I like it.

    At 2:46 in the afternoon

    I duck out the main doors

    of Margaret Murie Middle School,

    frowning as I avoid

    the straggly line of kids

    waiting for buses.

    Glad I’m not in that line today.

    Emma waves. Bye, Maddie!

    I wave back with a grin.

    Fridays mean oboe lessons.

    Gripping my instrument case

    and hunching my shoulders

    against the cold,

    I walk four blocks west

    to my music teacher’s house.

    I love walking.

    If I lived in the city,

    instead of boring old Bennett Corners,

    I’d walk everywhere. Especially

    the Kimmel Center, for concerts.

    But I’m only twelve.

    It’ll be years before I can move

    to Philadelphia.

    As I walk up Mr. Rimondi’s driveway,

    I count my steps.

    Eleven. An odd number

    is not a good number.

    Something will go wrong.

    I could add an extra step,

    a tiny one,

    but that would be cheating.

    Dread fills my chest like cold sludge.

    This will not be a good lesson.

    Crushed leaves

    rotting against the stoop

    smell like the turkey feather

    I use to clean the saliva

    from my oboe,

    especially when too much spit

    clots the feathery tips together

    into a sodden lump.

    The leaves smell of mold and sadness

    and leftover rain.

    They smell of

    November.

    My Real Name

    You’re late, Mr. Rimondi says.

    But he smiles his crooked smile

    so I know he’s only kidding.

    I glance at the big clock on the wall

    above the music stand,

    with the red second hand

    sweeping past the two,

    and smile back.

    If I can make him laugh,

    maybe

    it will still be a good lesson.

    "Twelve seconds. Not that late."

    He throws his head back and laughs,

    a bright, brassy sound like trumpets.

    "Madrigal, you could be a metronome.

    You’re so precise." He wipes his eyes

    with a handkerchief, chuckles some more.

    Mr. Rimondi is the only one who uses

    my real name.

    Everyone else calls me Maddie,

    except Aria calls me Mad

    and Strum calls me M.

    They both hate the musical names

    our parents gave us.

    But I like them.

    They define us as a family,

    even if sometimes

    there is dissonance.

    My Oboe

    While my reed soaks

    in a small cup of warm water,

    I assemble my oboe,

    gently screwing in each piece

    in the right order.

    Order is good.

    Order is calming.

    Just like even numbers.

    Order helps me to

    stop thinking bad thoughts.

    About me throwing up.

    People bleeding.

    Or someone dying.

    The last thing to be inserted is my reed.

    It tastes earthy,

    the way fallen leaves smell

    before they get wet.

    Oboe reeds are fragile.

    Twin pieces of cane carved out

    and pressed together.

    My best friend, Emma, plays the clarinet,

    which uses a wider single reed,

    sturdier and less breakable.

    Clarinets also sound different—

    deeper and mellower.

    Oboes sound a lot like ducks.

    That was why Prokofiev

    chose the oboe to represent a duck

    in Peter and the Wolf.

    Peter and the Wolf

    There is an oboe solo

    in Peter and the Wolf

    that’s so beautiful

    it makes my throat burn.

    That solo reminds me of the time

    Daddy took us

    to see Peter and the Wolf,

    performed by the Philadelphia Orchestra,

    when I was seven.

    We sat in the second tier,

    the three of us bookended

    by Maman and Daddy.

    We were all riveted.

    Well, Strum and I, anyway.

    Aria was eleven.

    She yawned a big fake yawn,

    pretending to be bored.

    Probably hoping Strum would

    agree with her.

    When the oboist played the duck’s theme,

    I tugged Strum’s arm. Listen, I whispered.

    Isn’t it beautiful?

    Strum was fourteen then.

    He didn’t talk to me much.

    But that evening,

    Strum leaned over,

    blue eyes wide open.

    "You’re right.

    It makes my body

    hum. And it feels like…

    like coming home."

    I’m only the second oboe

    but I want to play that solo

    in the school orchestra’s

    winter concert,

    which is three months away.

    I’ll need to work hard

    to prove I’m good enough.

    Perfect

    Today’s lesson is Morning Mood

    from Peer Gynt Suites

    by Edvard Grieg.

    I love this song. It’s bright and uplifting.

    I begin to play,

    my chest filling up with the notes,

    swelling from the magic.

    I concentrate on my embouchure,

    the proper shaping of my mouth

    to achieve the perfect vibration.

    The perfect sound.

    Everything must be

    perfect.

    Not Good Enough

    Afternoon sunlight filters

    through the dusty window and

    falls across my sheet music.

    The notes wobble

    as I get distracted.

    Sunlight makes me want

    to be outside.

    Exploring the woods or

    swinging on our old swing set

    in the sunny rectangle

    of our backyard,

    while Gizmo finds interesting things

    to sniff under the shrubbery.

    Gizmo is really Strum’s dog,

    even if he sleeps in my room now.

    By the time my mother arrives

    to pick me up

    it will be dusk. Almost dinnertime.

    Too late.

    I’m allowed to walk from school

    to Mr. Rimondi’s house.

    But I’m not allowed to walk home.

    It’s too far, Maman always says.

    "Et trop sombre." Too dark.

    The squeal when I miss the G-sharp

    makes me wince and hunch my shoulders.

    How could I do that?

    My fingers slow down as I keep playing.

    The tempo lags.

    Again, Mr. Rimondi says.

    "You’re hesitating too much

    in this piece.

    It should be a lilting, pastoral tune.

    You’re making it a dirge."

    I’ll never be good enough.

    My hands start trembling

    so I count the measures.

    Onetwothreefourfivesix.

    Even number. Good.

    It puts me in my safe space.

    Deep breath.

    I’m calm again.

    Mr. Rimondi taps his pencil

    on the sheet music. Taptaptap.

    Focus, Madrigal. Try it again.

    I blow too hard. Kraark!

    No, no, he says, still calm,

    still patient.

    He points to his stomach.

    "Breathe in from here.

    Then breathe out slowly."

    I know this.

    And I know the notes

    but I can’t find the feel

    of the music,

    can’t figure out how to create emotions

    that simmer and fizz and boil inside

    until they need to burst out

    as melodies,

    as beauty,

    as magic.

    When I hear recorded music,

    I recognize the feel,

    especially when my father

    plays a vinyl record.

    But I can’t produce it myself.

    And that’s frustrating.

    Could I really be a metronome?

    Something mechanical

    and not human?

    The Importance of Punctuality

    Finally, it’s four-thirty and I can escape.

    I jam the turkey feather

    into my oboe to clean it.

    Not a good lesson.

    My stomach wobbles.

    I take apart my oboe

    and fit each section into its

    proper place in the crushed velvet

    of my instrument case.

    This should calm me but

    it doesn’t.

    I say goodbye and thank you

    to Mr. Rimondi.

    He smiles. See you next week.

    I walk outside

    and peer through the darkening gloom.

    Stand in the empty driveway,

    dazed, wondering why

    my mother’s car isn’t here.

    Tap my foot over and over.

    It’s unusual for Maman

    to be late.

    She’s a teacher.

    A voice coach.

    She knows

    the importance of punctuality.

    Something Is Wrong

    Something is wrong.

    Seven cars whizz past on Maple Lane

    and I can’t stand still. I’m jumpy

    and tingling.

    Finally, the gray Toyota

    swings into the driveway.

    Headlights sweep

    over me and illuminate

    Mr. Rimondi’s garage door.

    Flaking paint mars the lowest board.

    I glance into the car, shocked

    to see not my mother

    but Aria.

    I yank open the door.

    "Where’s Maman? Why are you here?

    I thought you couldn’t drive

    after dark yet.

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