Maximum Living: A Christian's Guide to Achieving Your Potential

Copyright © 2024 by Patrick J. Jeske

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First Edition

Scripture quotations marked (AMP) are from the Amplified® Bible Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from the ESV* (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version*) Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (GNT) are from the Good News Translation in Today’s English Version - Second Edition Copyright © 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by Permission.

Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024910571

Print ISBN: 979-8-35095-244-5

eBook ISBN: 979-8-35095-245-2

Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Part I The Beginning: Getting Started

Three Reasons for Believing

Five Reasons People Choose Not to Believe

The Christian’s Goal

Surrender

Trust

Four Obstacles to Trust

Summary of Part

Part II The Power of Faith

What Is Faith?

How Does Faith Work?

Eight Obstacles to Faith and How to Overcome Them

Obstacle #1: Lack of Desire

Obstacle #2: Inability to Believe

Obstacle #3: Lack of Patience

Obstacle #4: Too Much Self-Reliance

Obstacle #5: Contradictory Feelings

Obstacle #6: Misinterpreting Excitement

Obstacle #7: Double-Mindedness

Obstacle #8: Reluctance to Pay the Price

Summary of Part II

Part III Hope: A Formula for Joy and Success

The Importance of Hope

A Formula for Hope

Desire: The First Element of Hope

Three Reasons for Christian Apathy

Choosing Your Desires

Expectation: The Second Element of Hope

Hope and Disappointment

Four Rules for Christian Hope

Hope Versus Worry

Why People Worry

Substituting Hope for Worry

Summary of Part III

Part IV Perfect Love in an Imperfect World: The Christian’s Goal

Love Is Pervasive

Three Steps to Developing Pervasive Love

Love Versus Feeling

Love Versus Guilt

The Attractiveness of Love

Defining Love

Love is Patient

Love is Kind

Love Does Not Envy

Love Does Not Boast

Love is Not Proud

Love Does Not Dishonor Others

Love is Not Self-Seeking

Love is Not Easily Angered

Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs

Love Does Not Delight in Evil but Rejoices with the Truth

Rejoicing with the Truth and Love for God

Rejoicing with the Truth and Love for Others

Rejoicing with the Truth and Love for Self

Love Always Protects

Love Always Trusts

Love Always Hopes

Love Always Perseveres

Conclusion

References

Acknowledgements

Pamela Covington, Editor Extraordinaire, is a former middle school educator, college English professor, and longtime family friend who has given selflessly of her time and wisdom in editing this book. The gratitude and thanks due her are immeasurable. Her advice has been highly valued.

The late Susan Jensen graciously volunteered her services to edit this book. She spent many tireless hours in this endeavor. Our many thanks and appreciation for Susan’s generosity and expertise along with our deepest condolences go out to her family.

Our multitude of thanks go to our children, Katrina and Ryan and their spouses Timothy and Mary Ann, as well as our grandchildren, Journey, Josiah, Caleb, Rebekah, Glory, Mercy, Nathan, Harmony, and Jubilee for your unending love and support. You have all been unknowing subjects throughout the years for our learning the many lessons of life. We love you all.

Introduction

As a Christian psychologist, I’ve noticed that the abundantly vibrant life depicted in the Bible is a far cry from the watered-down brand of living that so many of us practice. According to the Bible, we Christians are not only supposed to maximize our potential, but we are actually supposed to go beyond our best - accomplishing things through the power of the Holy Spirit that we could not otherwise achieve! Yet while we generally live more righteously than non-believers, the love, joy, peace and power that is supposed to typify our lives are all too frequently absent. Instead of living our lives to the maximum, many of us are struggling just to maintain the minimum.

That is certainly not what God had in mind when he designed us. My studies of the Bible and of psychology have convinced me that maximum living is a real possibility for Christians. I know from personal and professional experience that much of the unhappiness, anxiety, defeat and discouragement of everyday living can be avoided. We don’t have to lead lives of quiet desperation; we can be "more than conquerors!

Maximum living may seem impossible to you. You may be so weary from stress and so discouraged by your defeats that you can’t imagine being an overachiever. You may have failed so many times that you’re ready to give up on yourself, on God, and on everybody else. You may have become so used to barely subsisting spiritually and psychologically that the idea of maximizing your potential seems too good to be true. If so, this book is for you! Its purpose is to show you how you can move from your current life to the maximum life that God wants you to enjoy.

This book is divided into four parts: Part I explains how to begin living the maximum life; Part II examines the role of faith; Part III looks at the power of hope; and Part IV is devoted to the understanding and practical application of love.

All of the examples used in this book are true. All of the advice is based upon my interpretation of psychological principles in the light of God’s Word.

Part I

The Beginning: Getting Started

The first step toward maximum living is to get free from sin, because sin has shattered more lives, wasted more genius, ruined more opportunities, broken more marriages, destroyed more egos and wrecked more families than any other force on earth. All of us have experienced its destructive force. We have observed firsthand the harmful effects that being trapped and ravaged by sin can have on our lives and the lives of those around us.

Most psychologists and counselors, even if they are not Christians, feel the same way. They recognize the destructive nature of sin and generally agree that in order to improve, one must admit the errors of one’s ways and decide to forsake them. Most also agree on the necessity of forgiving oneself and doing away with guilt. However, the Bible teaches that it isn’t enough to admit to sin, repent of it and forgive yourself. It insists that you also believe in Christ and accept God’s forgiveness. In fact, the Bible states that Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12 NIV).

Why does the Bible insist upon believing in Christ? Why isn’t it enough for one simply to admit to having engaged in destructive thinking or behavior, determine not to do it again, forgive oneself and get on with living?

Three Reasons for Believing

The first psychological advantage to believing in Christ is the elimination of guilt. When you deliberately do something wrong, you automatically feel as if you should pay for your misdeed. In other words, you feel guilty. You may reason that your guilt is useless and decide to stop your wrongdoing, but that isn’t easily done. No matter how logical you are, you can’t completely rid yourself of guilt through the power of your will.

The Bible declares what you already know intuitively: that a price must be paid for your sins before your guilt can be eliminated. It goes on to say that Jesus Christ took your guilt upon himself and paid for your sins when he died on the cross. To believe in Christ is to believe that your sins have been paid for, that God has forgiven you and that you are justified before him. That belief will do more to erase your guilt than anything else you can do or think. It takes away the need you have to berate and to punish yourself.

Secondly, believing in Jesus Christ reduces your level of anxiety. Anxiety can be extremely debilitating. In fact, it is consistently ranked as the number one cause of mental illness. Believing in Jesus Christ has the beneficial effect of lowering your level of anxiety by allowing you to live by faith instead of being totally dependent upon yourself. Faith, as a way of life, begins the moment you choose to believe in Christ. Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV) says, For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.

If you really believe that an infinitely wise and powerful God loves you and wants the very best for you, you’ll trust him with everything. Instead of worrying about all your problems, you’ll trust him to help you solve them. This trust in someone far more capable than yourself will release you from the anxiety you would otherwise experience, freeing you to concentrate on doing what you need to do instead of wasting your time and energy worrying about something too difficult for you to handle. So, believing in Jesus Christ makes you more relaxed and more efficient.

Finally, believing in Christ establishes the basis for developing a new and improved self-image. The image you hold of yourself affects your attitude and your actions. For example, if you picture yourself as a liar, a cheater, a coward or a weakling, you will behave like a liar, a cheater, a coward or a weakling. You may dislike the way you act and you may willfully try to change your behavior from time to time, but unless you change your self-image, you’ll inevitably revert to your old style of behaving.

Changing your self-image is seldom easy. You can’t just decide to begin viewing yourself in a different manner and then do it. You must have some reason to believe that you are different before you can perceive yourself as being that way. When you believe that through Christ you have been forgiven of your sins and that the Holy Spirit has united with your spirit, you have the basis for a new self-image. That’s what Jesus meant when he described salvation as being born again (John 3:3-8). That is also what St. Paul was referring to when he wrote, Therefore if anyone be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new (2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV). You can’t really believe that you are a child of God and continue to view yourself in a negative manner. Believing in Christ changes your self-image and your behavior.

No matter how good your self-image is, until it includes God, it isn’t good enough for you to become everything God wants you to be. When you perceive yourself as being united with God, you have reason to believe that no problem or temptation will be too great for you. If you believe that an infinitely powerful God has united himself with you and has your best interests at heart, you won’t be afraid to tackle anything. Your dreams will no longer be limited by your resources, skills or circumstances! Anything that is truly worthwhile will be within your reach! Believing in Jesus Christ gives you the freedom to dream and to achieve beyond yourself!

If believing in Christ is so advantageous and if sin is so terribly destructive, why isn’t everyone a Christian? In answering that question, I’d like to focus on what I believe to be five of the most common reasons people choose not to become Christians.

Five Reasons People Choose Not to Believe

One reason is failure to understand what it means to be a Christian. A lot of people who are engaging in sin think of themselves as Christians because they believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and that he died for them. But that is obviously not what the Bible means when it tells us that if we believe in the Lord Jesus we will be saved. Believing, in the Biblical sense of the word, is more than a mental activity. James 2:19 makes that clear. It says that even the demons believe in God. In fact, they believe so strongly that they shudder. James 2:20 (NKJV) goes on to say, …faith without works is dead?

Being mentally convinced of something doesn’t constitute belief unless it influences the way you act. You may conclude something in your mind, but unless you act according to that conclusion, you don’t really believe it, you just think it. For example, I might read the statistics associated with car and plane accidents and be forced mentally to conclude that it is safer to fly than it is to drive. However, if I choose to drive when it would be more convenient for me to fly, I prove that I don’t really believe my mental conclusion. Fact and logic may have forced me to change my thinking, but unless my actions are influenced by my thinking, I haven’t changed my belief.

Belief is always a choice. That’s why intelligent and knowledgeable people often behave illogically. They know the truth but they refuse to believe it. You can know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that he died for you, but until you allow that knowledge to change your life, you haven’t believed in him. If you really believe in Jesus Christ, you will conform to his teachings. To do otherwise is failing to believe in the Biblical sense of the word.

A second reason people choose not to believe in Jesus Christ is because the Christian way of living seems foolish to them. Jesus said, …Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themself and take up their cross daily and follow me (Luke 9:23 NIV). People who are living in sin typically fail to see any benefit in such self-denial. They think it is self-defeating to behave unselfishly, to love one’s enemies, to make charitable contributions, to rest one day a week and so forth. Sin has blinded them to the wisdom of God (Acts 28:26).

The reasoning of such people reminds me of an experiment conducted near the end of the nineteenth century by George Stratton. In the interest of science, this man donned a lens system which made everything he looked at appear inverted, and wore it for eight days. At first, he experienced considerable difficulty. Things not only appeared inverted, but they also seemed strange, as if they weren’t real. Whenever he moved about, he experienced vertigo. He kept bumping into things and had difficulty coordinating his movements. For example, he would see something that appeared to his left and would erroneously reach to his left in order to grasp it, only to discover that it was actually to his right. As the experiment advanced, however, things gradually seemed less strange to him, his feeling of vertigo vanished and he learned to adjust his movements so that his coordination became normal. Before the experiment was over, Stratton reported that there were times when everything seemed right side up. At the end of the eighth day, Stratton removed his lenses and was surprised and bewildered by the world he saw. For several hours the normal world seemed abnormal to him. He made incorrect movements, bumped into things and experienced vertigo while walking and moving about.

When people view the world through lenses of sin, Christ’s teachings seem foolish to them. However, the Bible says that …the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight… (1 Corinthians 3:19 NIV). It also says, There is a way that seems right, but in the end it leads to death (Proverbs 14:12 and 16:25 NIV).

I know two men in the same profession with similar backgrounds whose lives illustrate the difference between the wisdom of God and the wisdom of man. Both men are very intelligent and are high achievers. One is a Christian; the other is not. At the beginning of their careers, the non-Christian seemed to be doing better than the Christian. He contributed nothing to the church while the Christian regularly contributed at least ten percent of his income. He owned a better car and took better vacations than the Christian. On Sunday mornings he slept in while the other fellow got up and went to church. As time passed, however, the benefits of self-denial began to accrue to the Christian while the non-Christian’s selfish attitude began causing him trouble. The Christian’s commitment to marriage kept him and his wife together through some rough times and resulted in a deep, abiding love. The non-Christian’s lack of commitment resulted in a divorce. The Christian prayed about all the important decisions in his life, and because of God’s leading, he boldly ventured into areas of service that brought him great satisfaction. The non-Christian let greed guide his career and before long he was experiencing burnout. The Christian gave freely and unselfishly to others, which earned him the gratitude and goodwill of many people. The non-Christian joked and laughed with others, but he seldom did anything more than politeness required. As a result, he developed many acquaintances but few real friends. The Christian’s self-denial brought him contentment. The non-Christian’s greed brought him discontent.

People also refuse to believe in Christ because of self-centeredness. Jesus said, Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it (Matthew 10:39 NIV). Believing in Christ means putting him at the center of your life, so that your world revolves around him instead of you. That’s an extremely difficult thing for us to do. When we have become so accustomed to thinking of ourselves first, we find it hard to give that position up to anyone, even God.

I remember one summer evening when those words of Jesus took on new meaning for me. I was standing in a clearing among the pines in Arizona’s high country. It was an incredibly clear night and at that altitude, with no city lights for miles, the stars seemed extremely bright. As I stared up at them, I thought about how minute I actually was. I was one man among billions of people on one planet among billions of heavenly bodies that composed but one small portion of the vast universe. Pondering those facts made the daily problems of life with which I had been grappling suddenly seem trivial. In the great scheme of things, they just didn’t matter. Indeed, there was nothing about me that really mattered except that the great God of the universe loved me. My identity and worth were solely dependent upon that single fact. I suddenly realized that the only chance I had of making my life count was to become part of the big picture, and the only way to do that was to lose myself in God’s plans. With that revelation, I rededicated myself to God and asked him to use me in the most efficient manner possible to achieve as much real significance for him as I could. I gave myself to God, not because he needed me, but because I needed him.

Mentally taking myself out of the center of the universe and yielding that position to God was a turning point in my life. I stopped trying to fit God into my plans and began trying to fit myself into God’s plans. Instead of struggling to achieve my own selfish goals, I began seeking to do God’s will. When I did, everything began to click. In yielding my life to God, I found my place in the universe and my life came alive with significance.

A fourth reason for not becoming a Christian is group pressure. Numerous psychological studies have shown that individuals tend to conform to the majority view, even when they know the group is wrong. Nobody wants to be different. Consequently, becoming a believer can be very anxiety-provoking, particularly if one’s friends are non-believers. Jesus stated that if we refused to acknowledge him before others, he would also refuse to acknowledge us before The Father (Matthew 10:32).

Believing in Christ may require tremendous social courage, but it is definitely worthwhile. In addition to the spiritual blessings that believing brings, it also teaches you to be assertive. Your friends may not believe the way you do and they may pressure you to adopt their values, but if you’ll believe in Christ enough to take a stand, you’ll earn their respect. More importantly, you’ll be able to respect yourself. I know of no more effective means for gaining self-confidence, self-respect and the respect of others than to boldly choose to believe in Jesus Christ.

Finally, people don’t become Christians because they are afraid of losing their freedom. Since sin is pleasurable and exciting, many people think it is also liberating. They equate the freedom to sin with the freedom to enjoy life. However, the Bible says the opposite is true: it is sin that enslaves; it is Christ who sets free. In defining slavery, the Bible says, "... by whatever anyone is defeated and overcome, to that [person, thing, philosophy, or concept] he is continually enslaved (2 Peter 2:19 AMP). Jesus replied, … Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin (John 8:34 NIV). He also said, So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed" (John 8:36 NIV).

Sin, in any form, is addicting. The longer you do it, the harder it is to stop. Sin quickly develops into a habit. It becomes the familiar, normal way to live. If you try to break the habit, you experience anxiety; if you give in to sin, you experience short-term excitement and pleasure. So even though you may hate yourself for what you are doing, and even though you may know that it will destroy you in the long run,