Ask the Author: Peter Derk
Answered Questions (21)
Peter Derk
Ah, it's a great question.
Short Answer: Because I'm stupid.
Longer Answer: Back when the website LitReactor was a thing, I wrote columns over there, as did a guy named Max Booth III. Max wrote a column called 25 Book Marketing Ideas for the Desperate and Shameless, which was basically a list of 25 terrible ideas that one could try in order to sell books, provided you were A) Desperate and B) Shameless.
Desperate and Shameless are my middle names (it's hyphenated, my parents were cruel while also being prescient), so I wrote a column where I actually DID these 25 things (I think there's a really badly formatted version of it available somewhere...here: https://litreactor.com/columns/25-mar...).
I should probably change it back one of these days, especially seeing as LitReactor no longer exists, the joke has completely died, and Max Booth III is successful, which makes me feel lousy in comparison.
Short Answer: Because I'm stupid.
Longer Answer: Back when the website LitReactor was a thing, I wrote columns over there, as did a guy named Max Booth III. Max wrote a column called 25 Book Marketing Ideas for the Desperate and Shameless, which was basically a list of 25 terrible ideas that one could try in order to sell books, provided you were A) Desperate and B) Shameless.
Desperate and Shameless are my middle names (it's hyphenated, my parents were cruel while also being prescient), so I wrote a column where I actually DID these 25 things (I think there's a really badly formatted version of it available somewhere...here: https://litreactor.com/columns/25-mar...).
I should probably change it back one of these days, especially seeing as LitReactor no longer exists, the joke has completely died, and Max Booth III is successful, which makes me feel lousy in comparison.
Peter Derk
Hi Steve!
First, thanks!
Well, my process works like this:
I'll have a general idea where I'm headed, like "Heist Story," then I'll start writing. I take a lot of different paths and go down some rabbit holes, and once I've got the story wrapped, I'll edit out some parts that are just too long, don't really go anywhere, or maybe don't fit that particular story.
But for the most part, I make it up as I go.
What's weird about how I do things is that I might write my way into an idea. For example, in The Heist-est Heist Ever Heisted, the idea of editor's notes being a part of it came when I was maybe half-way through. So then, after I finished the first draft, I had to go back and add editor's notes in nearer the beginning as well.
I guess I see the whole thing as fun, and if I'm not having fun, I doubt a reader will have any. So I'll do some things I have planned out, but I leave a lot of room for surprises as well.
That said, I'm a relentless editor. I'd guess most things I write, I edit them 10 times all the way through, just to get them the way I like.
So the short answer is: both! A lot of what goes down on paper in that first draft ends up in the final draft, but a lot of further shaping goes down as well.
First, thanks!
Well, my process works like this:
I'll have a general idea where I'm headed, like "Heist Story," then I'll start writing. I take a lot of different paths and go down some rabbit holes, and once I've got the story wrapped, I'll edit out some parts that are just too long, don't really go anywhere, or maybe don't fit that particular story.
But for the most part, I make it up as I go.
What's weird about how I do things is that I might write my way into an idea. For example, in The Heist-est Heist Ever Heisted, the idea of editor's notes being a part of it came when I was maybe half-way through. So then, after I finished the first draft, I had to go back and add editor's notes in nearer the beginning as well.
I guess I see the whole thing as fun, and if I'm not having fun, I doubt a reader will have any. So I'll do some things I have planned out, but I leave a lot of room for surprises as well.
That said, I'm a relentless editor. I'd guess most things I write, I edit them 10 times all the way through, just to get them the way I like.
So the short answer is: both! A lot of what goes down on paper in that first draft ends up in the final draft, but a lot of further shaping goes down as well.
Peter Derk
Is this question seriously being asked by "goodreads"? Does goodreads have a Goodreads profile? How does that even work?
My biggest mystery is a sort of revenge story.
See, in about...2007 I got a new car. The car was 7, but it was new to me.
This was a pretty big deal because the year up to then I had a car that barely worked, and I mostly rode my bike everywhere. Finally I could have not only a car, but one that could go just about anywhere! I could actually leave town.
While my new car was parked in the parking lot of my apartment, this woman, who was backing out, hit it and dented it pretty badly.
She left a note and offered to pay, and I accepted this offer because I figured I could get the bodywork done for about what she was offering.
This was a mistake.
What happened is that she gave me a check, and I waited a couple weeks to cash it, at which point it had been cancelled (so I also accrued a $25 fee from my bank).
I called her, and she said that because I waited so long to cash it, she assumed I didn't need the money, and she decided to cancel the check.
This is obviously bullshit, and double-obviously bullshit because shortly after this she changed her phone number.
I made a few attempts to find her since then, mostly to tell her "Hey, remember that car you dented? It's STILL dented, and I STILL drive it." But I haven't succeeded.
I'd love to find her and send her a letter about being a bad person. If I could solve the mystery of why she sucks so hard, that'd be pretty solid.
My biggest mystery is a sort of revenge story.
See, in about...2007 I got a new car. The car was 7, but it was new to me.
This was a pretty big deal because the year up to then I had a car that barely worked, and I mostly rode my bike everywhere. Finally I could have not only a car, but one that could go just about anywhere! I could actually leave town.
While my new car was parked in the parking lot of my apartment, this woman, who was backing out, hit it and dented it pretty badly.
She left a note and offered to pay, and I accepted this offer because I figured I could get the bodywork done for about what she was offering.
This was a mistake.
What happened is that she gave me a check, and I waited a couple weeks to cash it, at which point it had been cancelled (so I also accrued a $25 fee from my bank).
I called her, and she said that because I waited so long to cash it, she assumed I didn't need the money, and she decided to cancel the check.
This is obviously bullshit, and double-obviously bullshit because shortly after this she changed her phone number.
I made a few attempts to find her since then, mostly to tell her "Hey, remember that car you dented? It's STILL dented, and I STILL drive it." But I haven't succeeded.
I'd love to find her and send her a letter about being a bad person. If I could solve the mystery of why she sucks so hard, that'd be pretty solid.
Peter Derk
Oh, please. A 5-star review? I wasn't born yesterday.
In all seriousness, or as much seriousness as I can muster for Goodreads, I really do appreciate the nice reviews and things people say about my books. And I get steamed about the bad ones. Because I'm a human man and it doesn't feel good when people say bad things.
I don't hit Like anymore these days because, well, I really do appreciate the nice reviews, but I also know that book reviewers don't necessarily want to have a dialog with me, and...it feels a little creepy.
I do my fair share of reviewing, and I have been contacted by authors a couple times. Both for books I gave middling reviews. And...I didn't love it. It was weird.
I also think it can be a little creepy. I've worked/volunteered a few jobs working with youth. If you're a single, adult man working with youth, you learn to stay as far away from creepsville as is humanly possible. Your creepification monitor is very sensitive. Trust me, this might sound weird to you, but any others who've walked a mile in those shoes know what I'm talking about. So, I am super averse to doing anything remotely creepy, which probably hurts me sometimes because it's good to develop relationships with readers, but I'm going better safe than sorry on this one.
There was another event that made me think this way.
When I put out the first book I put out, a book of poems, someone gave it a 1-star review. I knew this person as a friend of friend of friend kind of thing, and I did think it was extremely uncool to give it a 1-star. I went to this person's profile and was looking at other ratings, and was like, "Wait, if you were this charitable all along, what the hell?"
I was seriously considering clicking "Like" on this review. So the person would know I'd seen it. And maybe think, "Oh, yeah. Real person. Not cool."
But then I took a breath and was like, "Whoa." Not like a Matrix whoa, like a cowboy stopping a spooked horse kind of whoa.
I'm not a professional author, but I can still act like one. And a pro can take it when someone dislikes their book. I learned an important lesson from Rocky Balboa: "It's not how hard you can hit. It's how hard you can GET hit and keep moving forward." Rocky was right. Punch drunk, but right. Being a pro is about getting hit and moving forward, not about hitting back.
I didn't hit that Like button. And I decided not to hit the positive ones either. I'm just not like some big time guy, like a Stephen King. If Stephen King liked my 5-star review, I'd be pretty happy. But Peter Derk? Who gives a shit?
I think reviews are for readers. They help readers make good choices on how to spend their time and money. Sure, I look at 'em. And I'm heartwarmed when I see a glowing one. But I have to assume that even the nice reviews were not written to make me feel good, they were written to tell people about a good book. Unless they're by friends and family. Then I figure they're at least kinda meant to make me feel good, and I'm 100% fine with that.
I'm very grateful to anyone who reads my books, whether they end up liking them or not. There are a lot of choices for people out there, lots of ways you all can spend your time, and I'm honored when you choose to spend your time with my books. If you want to be chummy with me, tag me in your review on Twitter or Instagram, or email me. I'm helpfulsnowman on Twitter, Instagram, and gmail. Pretty much everywhere. Also, feel free to chat me up on reviews I do of other books, books I didn't write.
As for reviews of my books, I'll be there, but not in a creepy way. Maybe just looking down like Mufasa from the clouds. Except not dead. And not a lion. And none of you are my kids. I do suspect that some of you have tried to strike up a relationship with a fun meerkat/warthog duo, but that's because you're weird.
In all seriousness, or as much seriousness as I can muster for Goodreads, I really do appreciate the nice reviews and things people say about my books. And I get steamed about the bad ones. Because I'm a human man and it doesn't feel good when people say bad things.
I don't hit Like anymore these days because, well, I really do appreciate the nice reviews, but I also know that book reviewers don't necessarily want to have a dialog with me, and...it feels a little creepy.
I do my fair share of reviewing, and I have been contacted by authors a couple times. Both for books I gave middling reviews. And...I didn't love it. It was weird.
I also think it can be a little creepy. I've worked/volunteered a few jobs working with youth. If you're a single, adult man working with youth, you learn to stay as far away from creepsville as is humanly possible. Your creepification monitor is very sensitive. Trust me, this might sound weird to you, but any others who've walked a mile in those shoes know what I'm talking about. So, I am super averse to doing anything remotely creepy, which probably hurts me sometimes because it's good to develop relationships with readers, but I'm going better safe than sorry on this one.
There was another event that made me think this way.
When I put out the first book I put out, a book of poems, someone gave it a 1-star review. I knew this person as a friend of friend of friend kind of thing, and I did think it was extremely uncool to give it a 1-star. I went to this person's profile and was looking at other ratings, and was like, "Wait, if you were this charitable all along, what the hell?"
I was seriously considering clicking "Like" on this review. So the person would know I'd seen it. And maybe think, "Oh, yeah. Real person. Not cool."
But then I took a breath and was like, "Whoa." Not like a Matrix whoa, like a cowboy stopping a spooked horse kind of whoa.
I'm not a professional author, but I can still act like one. And a pro can take it when someone dislikes their book. I learned an important lesson from Rocky Balboa: "It's not how hard you can hit. It's how hard you can GET hit and keep moving forward." Rocky was right. Punch drunk, but right. Being a pro is about getting hit and moving forward, not about hitting back.
I didn't hit that Like button. And I decided not to hit the positive ones either. I'm just not like some big time guy, like a Stephen King. If Stephen King liked my 5-star review, I'd be pretty happy. But Peter Derk? Who gives a shit?
I think reviews are for readers. They help readers make good choices on how to spend their time and money. Sure, I look at 'em. And I'm heartwarmed when I see a glowing one. But I have to assume that even the nice reviews were not written to make me feel good, they were written to tell people about a good book. Unless they're by friends and family. Then I figure they're at least kinda meant to make me feel good, and I'm 100% fine with that.
I'm very grateful to anyone who reads my books, whether they end up liking them or not. There are a lot of choices for people out there, lots of ways you all can spend your time, and I'm honored when you choose to spend your time with my books. If you want to be chummy with me, tag me in your review on Twitter or Instagram, or email me. I'm helpfulsnowman on Twitter, Instagram, and gmail. Pretty much everywhere. Also, feel free to chat me up on reviews I do of other books, books I didn't write.
As for reviews of my books, I'll be there, but not in a creepy way. Maybe just looking down like Mufasa from the clouds. Except not dead. And not a lion. And none of you are my kids. I do suspect that some of you have tried to strike up a relationship with a fun meerkat/warthog duo, but that's because you're weird.
Peter Derk
AH! A real question! Gasp. Hyperventilate.
Okay, stay calm, Pete. Don't blow it.
Ahem.
First, thanks for reading my book. And thanks for enjoying that. Although maybe you should be thanking ME for you enjoying it (stop it, Pete. You're blowing it!).
For a very long time, the project that became this book was a blog called Pete's Unsent Love Letters. And for a long time, that was the title of the book. I did get some advice in the form of a question from another writer I really like, and she asked me if I'd considered naming it after one of the letters, "Something like Dear Runaway."
I liked the idea a lot. See, I tried to get this thing published by a publisher. Like 20+ times. Trying to get something published is the worst. It's like job interviewing except you ACTUALLY CARE A LOT. And you can't console yourself by saying, "They probably just gave the job to the boss' cousin or something." Although I bet a lot of cousins of heads of publishing houses have novels in boxes in storage lockers in NYC.
I wasn't getting any bites, so I thought maybe my friend was right, and maybe I should try a change of title.
I looked at some of the other letters, but that's the thing about titles: when someone suggests one, it rolls around in your head for long enough that nothing else really sounds right.
So, that's how it ended up the way it ended up. Good advice from a good writer and a good friend. Or, to look at it another way, collapsing under peer pressure when I was vulnerable and at an emotional low.
I do think it helped with questions about what was fiction and what wasn't. When you put your name in the title, you can't really be annoyed that people keep asking about the truths and fictions of the letters.
Okay, stay calm, Pete. Don't blow it.
Ahem.
First, thanks for reading my book. And thanks for enjoying that. Although maybe you should be thanking ME for you enjoying it (stop it, Pete. You're blowing it!).
For a very long time, the project that became this book was a blog called Pete's Unsent Love Letters. And for a long time, that was the title of the book. I did get some advice in the form of a question from another writer I really like, and she asked me if I'd considered naming it after one of the letters, "Something like Dear Runaway."
I liked the idea a lot. See, I tried to get this thing published by a publisher. Like 20+ times. Trying to get something published is the worst. It's like job interviewing except you ACTUALLY CARE A LOT. And you can't console yourself by saying, "They probably just gave the job to the boss' cousin or something." Although I bet a lot of cousins of heads of publishing houses have novels in boxes in storage lockers in NYC.
I wasn't getting any bites, so I thought maybe my friend was right, and maybe I should try a change of title.
I looked at some of the other letters, but that's the thing about titles: when someone suggests one, it rolls around in your head for long enough that nothing else really sounds right.
So, that's how it ended up the way it ended up. Good advice from a good writer and a good friend. Or, to look at it another way, collapsing under peer pressure when I was vulnerable and at an emotional low.
I do think it helped with questions about what was fiction and what wasn't. When you put your name in the title, you can't really be annoyed that people keep asking about the truths and fictions of the letters.
Peter Derk
I'm shy about being quoted. Years back I worked for the Bartlett's people. They needed some quotes to fill out one of their books, so I made up a bunch of stuff that sounded smart. Just about anything attributed to Ben Franklin is something I made up at a rate of $3/quote. Since then, I'm worried that if I'm quoted, people will realize that Ben Franklin was me all along. I'm a patriot and would hate to see the name of Ben Franklin dragged through the mud that is Peter Derk.
Peter Derk
I think that it's a no-win situation. The school looks bad, the student looks bad, and Dessen looks bad. Everyone who jumps in with Dessen looks bad now, too.
Here's my suggestion for the future:
Someone put one of my books in as a possible title. Then, that'll serve as a lightning rod, absorbing a lot of the harshest criticism (reasonably so). If you're having a hard time, I suggest the one about the Contra guys jerking each other off in the shower.
And feel free to be honest. I can take it. I ain't no Dessen.
Here's my suggestion for the future:
Someone put one of my books in as a possible title. Then, that'll serve as a lightning rod, absorbing a lot of the harshest criticism (reasonably so). If you're having a hard time, I suggest the one about the Contra guys jerking each other off in the shower.
And feel free to be honest. I can take it. I ain't no Dessen.
Peter Derk
Why would you ask me this in September? I think I'm a confused old man, but it seems I was asked in September 2019 what is on my summer reading list, so I can only assume this is for summer 2020.
Beer labels. Not craft beer, for real beer. That writing is tight.
Beer labels. Not craft beer, for real beer. That writing is tight.
Peter Derk
The Chuck Tingle Universe. Once there, I would talk some sense into the characters from Space Raptor Butt Invasion. The question of whether or not it's gay to bang a space dinosaur (who's male) is SO FAR from the top 1,000 questions that should be going through your mind after that experience.
Peter Derk
Goodreads is asking me questions now. Their pity fills me. (That's the horror story I call "Indie Author on Goodreads")
Peter Derk
Based on the ideas I keep, the throwaway ideas would have to be really, really bad. But yeah, I have a notebook I keep with all the different ideas I've had that I'll probably never get around to.
Once I started something called The Devil Comes To Staff Day. It was a weird workplace thing where there was this big company and the whole thing is this on-going, weird meeting. They do that icebreaker, 2 truths and a lie, but it's one truth and two lies instead, and a guy brings in three jars of yellow liquid. One is his pee (truth) and the other two are apple juice and lemonade, respectively. Through some office politicking, someone is forced to take a drink of two of the three jars to determine which jar is the "truth."
I might be able to write it for you. I kinda stalled out after the pee game. But there's probably still something in there somewhere.
Once I started something called The Devil Comes To Staff Day. It was a weird workplace thing where there was this big company and the whole thing is this on-going, weird meeting. They do that icebreaker, 2 truths and a lie, but it's one truth and two lies instead, and a guy brings in three jars of yellow liquid. One is his pee (truth) and the other two are apple juice and lemonade, respectively. Through some office politicking, someone is forced to take a drink of two of the three jars to determine which jar is the "truth."
I might be able to write it for you. I kinda stalled out after the pee game. But there's probably still something in there somewhere.
Peter Derk
I'll tell you the most interesting mystery in my life even though it's really not that interesting.
There was this time I was flying out of DIA with my mom. We had an early flight. We were late to the airport, missed the flight, and had to get a later flight.
That's the basic version. The mystery is about who made us late.
I maintain it was my mom. She set the pickup time, she picked me up (a tiny bit late), and we really had no hope of making it. I'm also pretty sure she bought the plane tickets, and I may or may not have known the exact departure time.
My mom maintains it was my fault. I am not a morning person, I set the pickup time, and it was too late. I'm not sure what else she would say to defend this position.
Now, the quick answer here is that it was obviously both of us. We both missed the plane, and both of us being adults, either one could have looked at our departure time and set a different time.
But every holiday, the argument resumes. And neither of us will back down.
Here's why it's a mystery: the only answer is in our memories. There is no physical evidence, despite the presence of modern technology, that proves whose fault it was. There's nothing that exists or did exist that we could use to definitively prove whodunnit.
Here's why it's an interesting mystery: it's completely unsolvable, and it will never be resolved. I can't foresee a way where one of us suddenly remembers something and changes opinions.
If that Serial podcast is still going, I'd like them to take on this mystery.
There was this time I was flying out of DIA with my mom. We had an early flight. We were late to the airport, missed the flight, and had to get a later flight.
That's the basic version. The mystery is about who made us late.
I maintain it was my mom. She set the pickup time, she picked me up (a tiny bit late), and we really had no hope of making it. I'm also pretty sure she bought the plane tickets, and I may or may not have known the exact departure time.
My mom maintains it was my fault. I am not a morning person, I set the pickup time, and it was too late. I'm not sure what else she would say to defend this position.
Now, the quick answer here is that it was obviously both of us. We both missed the plane, and both of us being adults, either one could have looked at our departure time and set a different time.
But every holiday, the argument resumes. And neither of us will back down.
Here's why it's a mystery: the only answer is in our memories. There is no physical evidence, despite the presence of modern technology, that proves whose fault it was. There's nothing that exists or did exist that we could use to definitively prove whodunnit.
Here's why it's an interesting mystery: it's completely unsolvable, and it will never be resolved. I can't foresee a way where one of us suddenly remembers something and changes opinions.
If that Serial podcast is still going, I'd like them to take on this mystery.
Peter Derk
Good question, and an unusual name!
Seriously, I'm not a total expert, but I feel like these questions are a good way to dole out some advice that people can take or leave.
When you're working on a story, the world is divided into two things. Working on the story and things that aren't working on the story.
Most of the time, it's pretty obvious which things are which. Eating a hot dog? Not working on the story. Typing on the story? Working on the story! Eating a slice of pizza wrapped around a hot dog? Not working on the story. Editing lines? Working on the story!
But. There are some things we can do to trick ourselves into feeling like we're working on the story without actually working on the story. For example, what if my story is about a hot dog eating contest? Then I'm doing "research" when I'm eating hot dogs.
Research is important if you're doing something like a military thriller, or writing a book like The Martian that tries to stay somewhat accurate in the details.
To a point, research is working on a story. And then it flips. You've done enough research, and research becomes something that's in the category of things that ARE NOT working on the story. See the aforementioned pizza/hotdog.
I was working on a story once about a strongman. Did you ever have those people come to your school who did feat of strength for Jesus? They would tear phone books, bend nails, break baseball bats and stuff? Anyway, there's a whole wealth of tricks on how to do that stuff, different feats, and training techniques. You can spend your whole life learning how to do that stuff, which some weirdos totally do, and that's a great way to fill your time with not working on your story.
Read up, but set yourself a deadline. No matter where you are when that deadline hits, start working on your story. And don't take a class. Seriously, unless your book hinges on a class of students doing something, then that's going to be a huge waste of time. You'll be reading things that have nothing to do with your story, you'll be studying for tests instead of working on your story. A class is definitely a whole heaping helping of not working on the story.
Hey, at some point, you have to say "Do I want to be a strongman or write a story about one?" If your answer is story, then you have to work on the damn story already, and nothing is going to replace the effort of applying ass to chair, fingers to keyboard, and time to story.
Seriously, I'm not a total expert, but I feel like these questions are a good way to dole out some advice that people can take or leave.
When you're working on a story, the world is divided into two things. Working on the story and things that aren't working on the story.
Most of the time, it's pretty obvious which things are which. Eating a hot dog? Not working on the story. Typing on the story? Working on the story! Eating a slice of pizza wrapped around a hot dog? Not working on the story. Editing lines? Working on the story!
But. There are some things we can do to trick ourselves into feeling like we're working on the story without actually working on the story. For example, what if my story is about a hot dog eating contest? Then I'm doing "research" when I'm eating hot dogs.
Research is important if you're doing something like a military thriller, or writing a book like The Martian that tries to stay somewhat accurate in the details.
To a point, research is working on a story. And then it flips. You've done enough research, and research becomes something that's in the category of things that ARE NOT working on the story. See the aforementioned pizza/hotdog.
I was working on a story once about a strongman. Did you ever have those people come to your school who did feat of strength for Jesus? They would tear phone books, bend nails, break baseball bats and stuff? Anyway, there's a whole wealth of tricks on how to do that stuff, different feats, and training techniques. You can spend your whole life learning how to do that stuff, which some weirdos totally do, and that's a great way to fill your time with not working on your story.
Read up, but set yourself a deadline. No matter where you are when that deadline hits, start working on your story. And don't take a class. Seriously, unless your book hinges on a class of students doing something, then that's going to be a huge waste of time. You'll be reading things that have nothing to do with your story, you'll be studying for tests instead of working on your story. A class is definitely a whole heaping helping of not working on the story.
Hey, at some point, you have to say "Do I want to be a strongman or write a story about one?" If your answer is story, then you have to work on the damn story already, and nothing is going to replace the effort of applying ass to chair, fingers to keyboard, and time to story.
Peter Derk
Wow, a real question from a person who isn't me! Thanks!
As you can see above, I wrote a short Kindle book based on the motion picture 3 Ninjas. I only bring that up to say that my filter probably isn't the best in the world.
For me, it's hard to tell at the outset. After I finished the one about ninja kids, I started one about Bill and Lance from the game Contra (again, questionable decision-making at work here). I was really excited about it. I wrote a section where a kid shows up from another dimension, he gets killed in a bridge explosion almost right away, and then I lost steam.
The story was going somewhere until it wasn't. It was a comedy thing, and when it didn't put a smile on my face anymore, I figured it was dead. But I don't know how I could have predicted it wouldn't work. Other than, you know, the obvious idiocy of the project.
As for the more serious stuff, I like to start writing on it, and I hope that a hook emerges. I worked on a project for a long time called Pete's Unsent Love Letters that started as something totally different. It was originally this story about this guy who drove an airport shuttle. I'd just taken a shuttle, and I thought about this guy who I met, real character, and how he seemed lonely the way drivers can. By that I mean he talked A LOT.
The project started as soon as I got home from the airport. It started out as letters this shuttle driver was writing to the people he'd driven, people he had no intent of really contacting but wanted to continue the conversation with. In between the letters there were these bits about his job or his life at home or whatever. Eventually he was going to start looking people up and maybe sending the letters, which seemed like a bad idea and therefore a great place to take the story.
I wrote a bunch of these shuttle letters, and as I worked through them, I started just telling these little stories from my own life to fill things in. I'd tell about something I saw or something from my past. And then the little stories from my own life overtook the narrative about the airport shuttle driver. I started dreading writing the in-betweens, the parts between the letters where the driver was driving or at work or whatever, because writing the letters, that was getting to the core of what I wanted to say so much better. So I told the driver guy to fuck off and get his own story, and I started writing Pete's Unsent Love Letters.
The driver didn't work out, but that false start turned into something pretty great (for me personally, anyway. I would never call any of my works "great." In fact, I wouldn't even call them "works". I don't know where that came from. Sorry).
I've been working on a book for over a year now, and it started based on a story I'd finished before, something that was maybe 50,000 words in length and a total shitshow. From all those 50,000 words, from all that sweat, there was one concept I liked, and I took it for this new book.
Without sounding like a weirdo who writes only in pencil made from beetle-kill pine because it helps Gaia guide my hand or some crap like that, my feeling is that nothing you write is ever worthless. Even if it doesn't work out as something you're proud of, even if it should never see the light of day, you did that work, and there's no way you can do that work without getting something out of it. And even if the work isn't great, sometimes a little something you did before will come back into your mind. A little idea from before will show up again, and you'll be glad you've seen it before.
As for advice, I think the best advice I can give would be tips on recognizing, as early as possible, when something is going sour:
1. I think about how often I'm looking at the clock. When things are going well, I look maybe every ten minutes. When I hate life, that number goes WAY down. Time almost stops. If it's that painful, how many times I look at the clock per minute can be a sign. And if I'm not enjoying the writing even a little, then chances are pretty slim that someone'e going to enjoy reading it.
2. Make sure and finish some stuff. Short stories or a collection of stuff you've worked on. Whatever it is, finish it, and declare it finished in a way that works for you. For me, it's throwing it on the Kindle store. Maybe you get a single copy printed and bound. Maybe you have a folder on your computer where only finished stuff goes. Maybe you try and get it published somewhere online. Whatever that means to you, finish stuff. The importance of finishing, it'll help you recognize whether that voice is saying "give up" because the work is hard or because the work isn't any good.
3. Find a trusted reader. I know, that's easy to say. Hell, I PAY one, if that tells you how important it is to me. And believe me, money is not...loose? Money is tight. That's what I mean to say. And what I mean to say most, when you're working on something, sometimes it's hard to know if it's going somewhere you like or not. You'd think that would be easy, but it's hard as hell. You'd think that you wouldn't grow up not knowing how you feel about something you made, but there you go. Find a reader. Find a reader who can tell you whether something is worth pursuing or not. Pay them if you have to. It's worth it.
4.You never finish the runs you don't start.
I run, and I've done it consistently for a decade. And there are days I don't wanna be out there. The thing of it is, with a run, you never really know how it's going to be until you're in the thick of it. I've had days where I stared out feeling like garbage, and by the end I think, "Damn, I'm glad I did that." There are days where I start out feeling like Wally West aka THE FLASH, and ten minutes in I feel more like Fred Duke, aka the Blob. Sorry to cross over from DC Comics into Marvel, but The Blob is really comics' most famous fatso, Flash the most famous fitso.
Running and writing, they work the same way. I don't know what's going to happen. All I can do is get out there and find out.
As you can see above, I wrote a short Kindle book based on the motion picture 3 Ninjas. I only bring that up to say that my filter probably isn't the best in the world.
For me, it's hard to tell at the outset. After I finished the one about ninja kids, I started one about Bill and Lance from the game Contra (again, questionable decision-making at work here). I was really excited about it. I wrote a section where a kid shows up from another dimension, he gets killed in a bridge explosion almost right away, and then I lost steam.
The story was going somewhere until it wasn't. It was a comedy thing, and when it didn't put a smile on my face anymore, I figured it was dead. But I don't know how I could have predicted it wouldn't work. Other than, you know, the obvious idiocy of the project.
As for the more serious stuff, I like to start writing on it, and I hope that a hook emerges. I worked on a project for a long time called Pete's Unsent Love Letters that started as something totally different. It was originally this story about this guy who drove an airport shuttle. I'd just taken a shuttle, and I thought about this guy who I met, real character, and how he seemed lonely the way drivers can. By that I mean he talked A LOT.
The project started as soon as I got home from the airport. It started out as letters this shuttle driver was writing to the people he'd driven, people he had no intent of really contacting but wanted to continue the conversation with. In between the letters there were these bits about his job or his life at home or whatever. Eventually he was going to start looking people up and maybe sending the letters, which seemed like a bad idea and therefore a great place to take the story.
I wrote a bunch of these shuttle letters, and as I worked through them, I started just telling these little stories from my own life to fill things in. I'd tell about something I saw or something from my past. And then the little stories from my own life overtook the narrative about the airport shuttle driver. I started dreading writing the in-betweens, the parts between the letters where the driver was driving or at work or whatever, because writing the letters, that was getting to the core of what I wanted to say so much better. So I told the driver guy to fuck off and get his own story, and I started writing Pete's Unsent Love Letters.
The driver didn't work out, but that false start turned into something pretty great (for me personally, anyway. I would never call any of my works "great." In fact, I wouldn't even call them "works". I don't know where that came from. Sorry).
I've been working on a book for over a year now, and it started based on a story I'd finished before, something that was maybe 50,000 words in length and a total shitshow. From all those 50,000 words, from all that sweat, there was one concept I liked, and I took it for this new book.
Without sounding like a weirdo who writes only in pencil made from beetle-kill pine because it helps Gaia guide my hand or some crap like that, my feeling is that nothing you write is ever worthless. Even if it doesn't work out as something you're proud of, even if it should never see the light of day, you did that work, and there's no way you can do that work without getting something out of it. And even if the work isn't great, sometimes a little something you did before will come back into your mind. A little idea from before will show up again, and you'll be glad you've seen it before.
As for advice, I think the best advice I can give would be tips on recognizing, as early as possible, when something is going sour:
1. I think about how often I'm looking at the clock. When things are going well, I look maybe every ten minutes. When I hate life, that number goes WAY down. Time almost stops. If it's that painful, how many times I look at the clock per minute can be a sign. And if I'm not enjoying the writing even a little, then chances are pretty slim that someone'e going to enjoy reading it.
2. Make sure and finish some stuff. Short stories or a collection of stuff you've worked on. Whatever it is, finish it, and declare it finished in a way that works for you. For me, it's throwing it on the Kindle store. Maybe you get a single copy printed and bound. Maybe you have a folder on your computer where only finished stuff goes. Maybe you try and get it published somewhere online. Whatever that means to you, finish stuff. The importance of finishing, it'll help you recognize whether that voice is saying "give up" because the work is hard or because the work isn't any good.
3. Find a trusted reader. I know, that's easy to say. Hell, I PAY one, if that tells you how important it is to me. And believe me, money is not...loose? Money is tight. That's what I mean to say. And what I mean to say most, when you're working on something, sometimes it's hard to know if it's going somewhere you like or not. You'd think that would be easy, but it's hard as hell. You'd think that you wouldn't grow up not knowing how you feel about something you made, but there you go. Find a reader. Find a reader who can tell you whether something is worth pursuing or not. Pay them if you have to. It's worth it.
4.You never finish the runs you don't start.
I run, and I've done it consistently for a decade. And there are days I don't wanna be out there. The thing of it is, with a run, you never really know how it's going to be until you're in the thick of it. I've had days where I stared out feeling like garbage, and by the end I think, "Damn, I'm glad I did that." There are days where I start out feeling like Wally West aka THE FLASH, and ten minutes in I feel more like Fred Duke, aka the Blob. Sorry to cross over from DC Comics into Marvel, but The Blob is really comics' most famous fatso, Flash the most famous fitso.
Running and writing, they work the same way. I don't know what's going to happen. All I can do is get out there and find out.
Peter Derk
First of all, put that money away.
This is kinda a debate in the comics world. James Kochalka published a really controversial article called "Craft Is The Enemy". In it, he basically said that people in comics spend a lot of time honing craft, and meanwhile they actually make fuck all in terms of finished comics. His proposal: Make stuff, and get good by doing. Of course, there are many people out there who have been working on their craft for decades who got pretty pissed off, understandably. If I was shoveling out a couple hundred a month for an art school student loan, I'd be a little pissed at someone explaining to me that I'd wasted my time and money.
Buuuuut Mr. Kochalka makes a good point.
I'll give you an example.
I'd like to build a house someday. A small one, even a shed to work in.
Now, I could have started by looking for a warehouse or place to build, buying an expensive kit, dropping a couple thousand on tools and supplies. I mean, I couldn't ACTUALLY do that because I don't have a couple thousand to drop. I use a CoinStar machine on a fairly regular basis. This is where I'm at, financially.
What I did instead is start small. Last night I put together a few planter boxes. Nothing fancy. Rectangles made of fence posts stacked two high and drilled into posts. $30 in materials. I learned a couple things, made a few mistakes, and found that I sorta like doing that stuff.
Whenever you're going to try something new, the worst way to do it, if you ask me, is to start by buying something. I don't want to get all Joe Rogen here and say that we're conditioned to start every new task with this idea of "What can I buy"", but it feels like it sometimes, doesn't it?
Here's what I did to make a comic book. Because I can't draw either.
I used Powerpoint. I copied and pasted stuff, drew using the tools available, and found stuff on morguefile.com, which is a great resource for free images that are totally open for use, no attribution.
And what's really interesting, it turns out the big boys do this too. Did you know that Marvel uses Google Sketchup to place the Baxter Building into its comics? That way, everything stays consistent. And in fact, it's becoming increasingly popular to create 3D models of characters as well, and then they can simply be posed in panels.
So while it's cheating, to an extent, it worked for me. That's how I was able to make my own comic book. And for free.
And what's good about it, when you start with the free version, you can learn a hell of a lot, get better as you go, and figure out if this is really what you want to do.
If what you want to do is learn how to draw, then you can get some kits. Or, even better, check out some books at the library. Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain is a popular one, especially for people who have never been great at drawing. I personally recommend Cartooning by Ivan Brunetti, which has some great hands-on exercises bound to make you a better artist. If you want to draw, go to your library.
If you want to make comics, then start making comics.
This is kinda a debate in the comics world. James Kochalka published a really controversial article called "Craft Is The Enemy". In it, he basically said that people in comics spend a lot of time honing craft, and meanwhile they actually make fuck all in terms of finished comics. His proposal: Make stuff, and get good by doing. Of course, there are many people out there who have been working on their craft for decades who got pretty pissed off, understandably. If I was shoveling out a couple hundred a month for an art school student loan, I'd be a little pissed at someone explaining to me that I'd wasted my time and money.
Buuuuut Mr. Kochalka makes a good point.
I'll give you an example.
I'd like to build a house someday. A small one, even a shed to work in.
Now, I could have started by looking for a warehouse or place to build, buying an expensive kit, dropping a couple thousand on tools and supplies. I mean, I couldn't ACTUALLY do that because I don't have a couple thousand to drop. I use a CoinStar machine on a fairly regular basis. This is where I'm at, financially.
What I did instead is start small. Last night I put together a few planter boxes. Nothing fancy. Rectangles made of fence posts stacked two high and drilled into posts. $30 in materials. I learned a couple things, made a few mistakes, and found that I sorta like doing that stuff.
Whenever you're going to try something new, the worst way to do it, if you ask me, is to start by buying something. I don't want to get all Joe Rogen here and say that we're conditioned to start every new task with this idea of "What can I buy"", but it feels like it sometimes, doesn't it?
Here's what I did to make a comic book. Because I can't draw either.
I used Powerpoint. I copied and pasted stuff, drew using the tools available, and found stuff on morguefile.com, which is a great resource for free images that are totally open for use, no attribution.
And what's really interesting, it turns out the big boys do this too. Did you know that Marvel uses Google Sketchup to place the Baxter Building into its comics? That way, everything stays consistent. And in fact, it's becoming increasingly popular to create 3D models of characters as well, and then they can simply be posed in panels.
So while it's cheating, to an extent, it worked for me. That's how I was able to make my own comic book. And for free.
And what's good about it, when you start with the free version, you can learn a hell of a lot, get better as you go, and figure out if this is really what you want to do.
If what you want to do is learn how to draw, then you can get some kits. Or, even better, check out some books at the library. Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain is a popular one, especially for people who have never been great at drawing. I personally recommend Cartooning by Ivan Brunetti, which has some great hands-on exercises bound to make you a better artist. If you want to draw, go to your library.
If you want to make comics, then start making comics.
Peter Derk
Can I tell you a story about this?
The first time I was in a gay bar was because of an incident where a friend's car got towed. We walked a ways to meet another friend, a gay guy and his partner, who were going to help us out. They were in a gay bar, and they insisted we have a drink with them first before we got down to business. By which I mean "get a ride home." By which I mean get in a vehicle and drive it...let's just keep going with the story.
I walked in, we had a drink, and I left. And you know what? Nobody hit on me. Nobody talked to me. It was almost like -gasp- pretty much a normal bar.
Now, I fully expected that guys would love me. Because ladies were kind of ho-hum about me, so I figured that meant dudes would be all about it. Because a gay guy is the opposite of a girl, right?
Nope. Turns out, nope, not at all. In fact, a gay gentleman's proclivities really don't have much to do with a woman's. It's kind of like it's own whole thing. Actually, I'll revise that. It's exactly like it's own whole thing.
This was a lesson learned when I was maybe 21. So a little old, but what can I say, I grew up podunk.
So while turning to gay men might seem like an alternative, flipping the switch from OFF to ON, it doesn't really work that way.
Here's my advice to you and really the advice I would give to any young person who is having this sort of problem: Pursue an interest that's NOT having a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Get interested in something. Get a hobby. Seriously. This is the best thing you can do for yourself, and it's going to make your future relationships much richer.
For one thing, you'll become a better, deeper, more interesting person.
For another, if your hobby is pursuing romance, then once you have romance, what then? What do you have left at that point?
Get a hobby. I would possibly suggest some sort of queer studies classes in your particular case. Or model rocketry.
The first time I was in a gay bar was because of an incident where a friend's car got towed. We walked a ways to meet another friend, a gay guy and his partner, who were going to help us out. They were in a gay bar, and they insisted we have a drink with them first before we got down to business. By which I mean "get a ride home." By which I mean get in a vehicle and drive it...let's just keep going with the story.
I walked in, we had a drink, and I left. And you know what? Nobody hit on me. Nobody talked to me. It was almost like -gasp- pretty much a normal bar.
Now, I fully expected that guys would love me. Because ladies were kind of ho-hum about me, so I figured that meant dudes would be all about it. Because a gay guy is the opposite of a girl, right?
Nope. Turns out, nope, not at all. In fact, a gay gentleman's proclivities really don't have much to do with a woman's. It's kind of like it's own whole thing. Actually, I'll revise that. It's exactly like it's own whole thing.
This was a lesson learned when I was maybe 21. So a little old, but what can I say, I grew up podunk.
So while turning to gay men might seem like an alternative, flipping the switch from OFF to ON, it doesn't really work that way.
Here's my advice to you and really the advice I would give to any young person who is having this sort of problem: Pursue an interest that's NOT having a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Get interested in something. Get a hobby. Seriously. This is the best thing you can do for yourself, and it's going to make your future relationships much richer.
For one thing, you'll become a better, deeper, more interesting person.
For another, if your hobby is pursuing romance, then once you have romance, what then? What do you have left at that point?
Get a hobby. I would possibly suggest some sort of queer studies classes in your particular case. Or model rocketry.
Peter Derk
I'm sorry, but I don't think you've got very good chances of survival. I've been nearly killed by Doritos in my mouth, which is what they're meant for.
Peter Derk
Hell no. You should probably get the apostrophe fixed on your keyboard, but other than that you're doing fine.
Look, Valentine's Day is on record as the worst day of the entire year to eat at a restaurant, go to the zoo, anything date-y, basically. So here's what you do. Valentine's becomes your own personal snow day. Go out tonight and get enough supplies to stay in. Let yourself do NO work tomorrow. Just hang out and have fun.
Oh, and if you happen to live in the same town as me, I recommend avoiding the Planned Parenthood/Little Caesars strip mall. Those are two places where sadness comes to be sad on Valentine's Day.
Look, Valentine's Day is on record as the worst day of the entire year to eat at a restaurant, go to the zoo, anything date-y, basically. So here's what you do. Valentine's becomes your own personal snow day. Go out tonight and get enough supplies to stay in. Let yourself do NO work tomorrow. Just hang out and have fun.
Oh, and if you happen to live in the same town as me, I recommend avoiding the Planned Parenthood/Little Caesars strip mall. Those are two places where sadness comes to be sad on Valentine's Day.
Peter Derk
Oh, geez. Let me give you some Saige-like advice here. By which I mean advice that's good to hear but riddled with spelling errores.
Listen. Sage is a thing. It's a noun. It's a plant. We all know what Sage is. It's a nice name.
Saige is not a thing. Not a noun. It's a misspelling of a plant used to make your kid seem like an individual. It will serve only to confuse substitute teachers and anger your kid.
Paige is fine. That's a name. We're used to that. Sage is fine. That's a name. AND a thing. Page would also be acceptable. That's a thing, and it's cool. We all get it. It's four letters, it has the exact same sound, and it's a thing we know. Your kid will grow up saying, "Page. Spelled just like a the page in a book."
Saige is not fine. "It's Saige. But not like the plant. Like the plant, but with an I in it. Not an 'eye' but just the one letter, the personal pronoun...nevermind."
Okay? Let's not mess up lives here.
Listen. Sage is a thing. It's a noun. It's a plant. We all know what Sage is. It's a nice name.
Saige is not a thing. Not a noun. It's a misspelling of a plant used to make your kid seem like an individual. It will serve only to confuse substitute teachers and anger your kid.
Paige is fine. That's a name. We're used to that. Sage is fine. That's a name. AND a thing. Page would also be acceptable. That's a thing, and it's cool. We all get it. It's four letters, it has the exact same sound, and it's a thing we know. Your kid will grow up saying, "Page. Spelled just like a the page in a book."
Saige is not fine. "It's Saige. But not like the plant. Like the plant, but with an I in it. Not an 'eye' but just the one letter, the personal pronoun...nevermind."
Okay? Let's not mess up lives here.
Peter Derk
This has to be the most common question for writers, right?
I think my answer is that if you have writer's block, get some more irons in the fire. If you're blocked on your novel, write a humor blog. Edit a non-fiction piece. Work up a short something you've been thinking about. Take out an index card and write a story on it sometime during the day.
I think my answer is that if you have writer's block, get some more irons in the fire. If you're blocked on your novel, write a humor blog. Edit a non-fiction piece. Work up a short something you've been thinking about. Take out an index card and write a story on it sometime during the day.
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