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1/10
I was going to title this "Observed, now reported", but that joke's taken already.
7 April 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Man. What can I say? I went in expecting a pretty bad but comfortably mindless movie filled with dumb humor and fart jokes. Instead, I got a terrible movie filled with hateful characters presented by actors over-acting beyond capacity in an unlikeable movie with no sense of tone or direction. A movie so bad that the basic gist of it is that this sad, pathetic man with little education and a few mental problems is really funny to watch mess up. I worry next we'll be putting mentally disabled up on screen while a voice-over yells, "REEE-REEE! HURRRR! REEE-REEEEEEE!!!" This cringe-worthy narrative offers little less.

So here's the deal: Seth Rogan, man-child comedian of bromance comedies of varying quality (the fun Pineapple Express; the over-rated but decent Knocked Up) is Ronnie, head of mall security, cussing and butting his way into conversations and living with his drunken mother. A streaker plagues his mall, it gets broken into at night, and the local cops come to investigate, which offends Ronnie's sense of grandeur (no really, this is a plot point). Trying to reclaim his sordid turf and get what can possibly pass as the most unattractive woman in screen history (I think even guys who staple Carmen Electra pictures to every inch of their walls would find this woman horrid and vacuous), Ronnie goes on the offensive... by offending people needlessly? Because it's supposed to be offensive??? Because that's funny?????? Apparently? I don't even know. All I know is that every decision the character makes is terrible, he never grows and develops as a person, and he's not even an anti-hero, but a truly poorly presented everyman who is not anything like any man because anybody would have at least ten times the social grace this guy does. Again, laughing at his social ineptitude could potentially be funny to a point, but this movie makes the fact that he truly is incapable of controlling himself into The Joke, which means that we are, in fact, being asked to laugh at the mentally underdeveloped who lives with his alcoholic mother. Yeah.

And, well, the rest of the screen is filled up with jerks and idiots, too. The only nearly realistic character of the bunch is Ray Liotta's Detective Harrison, who is constantly being given crap by everybody because he's doing his job and Ronnie's getting in his way.

Have you ever seen a kid break out into a howling frenzy in a store while his mother shouts profanity at him? Did you think that was funny? Well then this movie might be funny to you. But if it was sad and uncomfortable to behold, then be prepared for 1hr30min of it. If you feel like paying for it, too, then this is the movie for you.

--PolarisDiB
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