- Fred Flintstone: [banging on the door and trying to pull it after being locked out by the cat at the end of the closing credits] WIIILMAAAAAA!
- [continues banging on the door as the screen fades out]
- Barney Rubble: [upon seeing an assembled mastodon skeleton after sneaking into the Brickrock home] Your suspicions were correct, Fred. There she is - Agatha Brickrock with her outside removed.
- Fred Flintstone: That's not Agatha; that's a mastodon.
- Barney Rubble: A whats-a-don?
- Fred Flintstone: A big thing with a lumpy body, thick legs, a long nose, floppy ears, and tusks.
- Barney Rubble: Sounds like Agatha to me.
- Wilma Flintstone: I work hard all day, too, and what do I get? A lot of yak from you. You at least get out everyday, see things, talk to people. I never get out of this cave.
- Barney Rubble: Say, Fred, ain't it time for the big fight?
- Fred Flintstone: Hey-hey, I'm glad you remembered! You fix the chairs. I'll get the soda and popcorn.
- Wilma Flintstone: I didn't know there was a fight scheduled.
- Barney Rubble: [while moving two chairs over to the window looking into the neighbors' home] You kiddin'? Tonight's for the championship. Oh, it should be a real grudge bout.
- Betty Rubble: Heavyweight or lightweight?
- Barney Rubble: Both. A heavyweight versus a lightweight.
- Wilma Flintstone: Why are you putting the chairs over there by the window? The TV set is here.
- Fred Flintstone: This is not on TV. It's a closed-circuit.
- Betty Rubble: But who's fighting?
- Barney Rubble: The new neighbors - Mrs. and Mr. Brickrock.
- Wilma Flintstone: Fred! You don't intend to eavespeep?
- Fred Flintstone: Ho-ho-hoooo, I wouldn't miss tonight's bout for anything. Those two have been putting on the greatest fight of the century. Last night's bout was a doozy. Did you ever hear such hysterics? All that screaming and shrieking in that high voice?
- Barney Rubble: Yeah, I thought he'd never stop!
- Betty Rubble: Oh, that's terrible! You mean that meek little man hit's his wife?
- Fred Flintstone: No-o-o, in the last three bouts, he didn't even lay a glove on her. He's strictly a defensive fighter.
- Barney Rubble: You'd think she'd let him win once in a while just to keep up his interest.
- Television Producer: [Having discovered Fred and wanting to cast him in the role of the loud-mouthed husband in the new show, "The Frogmouth"] That voice, that voice! He's the perfect Frogmouth! Get that frog! I mean, get that man! Get him up here right away! So you're Wilma's husband. I knew it, I knew it! One look at her, and I knew it! Tell me, Fred, did you ever do any acting?
- Fred Flintstone: Well, heh-heh, one year I was in the spring play at Public School 158.
- Television Producer: And you were Hamlet? Uh, Romeo? Er, King Arthur?
- Fred Flintstone: Na-a-aw, no, none of those things. Some of the kids were trees, some were flowers, some were butterflies...
- Television Producer: And what were you?
- Fred Flintstone: I was a slug.
- Television Producer: It figures, it figures...
- Fred Flintstone: I love my dear sweet mother in-law. My mother in-law is a doll.
- Attendant: Are you feeling alright, mister?
- Fred Flintstone: Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.
- Attendant: Good. Good. You just stay in here and rest. That hot sun out there is a killer.
- Fred Flintstone: Poor guy, he must have been standing in it for hours.
- Fred Flintstone: [when Barney suggests he tell the truth about a crazy situation] What is this mania you have with telling the truth? You must have been weaned on sodium pentathol or something.
- Fred Flintstone: [after being called a "loudmouth"] YES I AM! SO WHAT? YOU WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF IT?
- Wilma Flintstone, Betty Rubble: Melville J. Muchrocks is a crook.
- Fred Flintstone: Muchrocks a crook? Are you sure?
- Wilma Flintstone: Absolutely, he's wanted by the police.
- Betty Rubble: We heard him described to a T.
- Fred Flintstone: Wilma, do you know where they went?
- Wilma Flintstone: They said they were going to the amusement park and then to dinner. Oh my poor mother.
- [She starts crying]
- Fred Flintstone: Don't you worry sweetheart, you leave it to me. Barney.
- Barney Rubble: Yeah Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: C'mon, let's go.
- Barney Rubble: Right Fred.
- Fred Flintstone: You ever play football, Barney?
- Barney Rubble: Yeah Fred, why?
- Fred Flintstone: Because you're going to run interference while I intercept a proposal.
- [Fred goes to try out the Barney-copter and doesn't get far off the ground]
- Barney Rubble: Hey, you're too fat, Fred!
- Fred Flintstone: Yeah, you laugh. You'll see, Barn, they know me in this bank, they'll help me right a way.
- Bank Clerk: Look, pals, it's Fred Flintstone.
- Fred Flintstone: Yeah, hi. I'd like to lent some money here.
- Bank Clerk: [laughing] Ha ha ha ha! See that, pals? Fred Flintstone wants money. Ha ha ha ha ha!
- Barney Rubble: [Fred has just fallen down after taking a swing at Barney] Whale on the beach! Whale on the beach!
- Wilma Flintstone: [while Alvin Brickrock, an Alfred Hitchcock lookalike, is at the Flintstones' front door] Do you know the Rubbles?
- Barney Rubble: We've never met, but I've admired your footwork many many times.
- Fred Flintstone: [while reading from an issue of "Weird Detective" magazine] Hmmmm, here's the "Crook of the Month" - "Fifteen thousand reward for information leading to apprehension of Albert Bonehart - wanted for questioning in disappearance of three former wives - Bonehart's fourth wife was last seen in a railroad station - in a valise, a ladies hat box and an executive's brief case." Well, that's one way of sending your wife to the country.
- Barney Rubble: [as Alvin Brickrock returns home to find Barney and Fred in his home] Eddy-frey, when's the op-cays oming-cay?
- Fred Flintstone: I couldn't ind-fay an op-cay, Arney-bay.
- Barney Rubble: Oy vey
- Fred Flintstone: I know what you're going to say. I don't know anything about all of this, right?
- Wilma Flintstone: Right!
- Fred Flintstone: Has that ever stopped me from being an expert before?