Sex and the Single Vampire

Whew! John Holmes(Mr. Porno himself) stars as a vampire inhabiting an old, house(looks like it might have been condemned) when a group of horny men and women crash in and relieve themselves of their pent up desires. Holmes tries his hand at comedy in this one with some atrocious one-liners. Thankfully for us he did not pursue a career in comedy. This film is an exercise in tedium. It has next to nothing to do with vampirism except for Holmes spouting some vampire-like crap in the beginning of the movie and Holmes becoming a skeleton at the end. Sandwhiched in between is one soft-core sex scene after another. One guy, one girl. Two girls. One guy, two girls. One guy, three girls. Two guys, four girls. One vampire, four girls. None of the proceeding are very interesting and the viewer will find an eager desire to fast-forward through the whole thing. A cheap, unimaginative sexploitation film in every way.