WITCH STORY is another one of those 80's horror movies where a group of college kids go off on a really bogus idea for a vacation by spending it in the creepy old haunted house one of them inherited, and where back in the 1930's a witch was tortured & burned in the front yard back while screaming "I dedicate my pain to you, Satan!" This is another one of those movies where the college kids are a representative "Ark" of humanity, with the cool guy, the fat guy, the jock guy, his WASPY slut of a girlfriend, the token African American (a she, for an added twist), a nerd, and the all round nice girl who will invariably wake up to find out It Was All Just A Nightmare at two or three or four times during the film, only to see & scream at dead bodies placed out of camera range to save on the effects budget by having her just scream.
This is another one of those movies where the fat guy gets to eat himself to death and then is slaughtered like a hog, literally. This is another one of those movies where during the "getting to know you" party scene (with bizarre product placement by Kentucky Fried Chicken, Lays Potato Chips and Budweiser) the black girl introduces herself by saying "Well first off, I'm black", since being such is her only vital function within the plot. This is another one of those movies where someone replies "Gee, all this time I just thought you had a really nice tan." This is another one of those movies where demon possessed slutty babes throw their victims through car windshields, and stash functioning chain saws -- still running, apparently -- in the old swimming pool so they can surface and swing the chain saw around like Jason on bad meth. This is another one of those movies where the nerd looks a hell of a lot like the dude with the glasses from They Might Be Giants, and even sings a song with his guitar that we never saw before he starts playing it, and is never seen again afterward.
This is another one of those movies where the cool guy has a flirtatiously attractive 3rd or 4th cousin meet them all at the bus station and imply inter familial fornication just standing there looking like a tramp. This is another one of those movies where the trampy Southern cousin also turns out to be interested in the occult, and carries her own tarot card & Ouija board set with her so that she can receive ominous & frightening supernatural vibes when guys are about to score with her. This is another one of those movies with not only a haunted house but a secret passageway -- with lighting effects by Tobe Hooper from POLTERGEIST -- leading to an inner sanctum of evil, where by God there actually awaits a Haunted Suitcase.
On a brighter note, this is another one of those Italian horror movies that seems to have been inspired by Mario Bava's KILL BABY KILL, including a weird demonic kid with a bouncing ball, and made possible by the still inexplicable popular success of Umberto Lenzi's GHOSTHOUSE, which would make an excellent double bill if you have enough beer. This is another one of those mid-later 1980's Italian made horror films that has the visual flair of a Fulci or Lamberto Bava, but more low key and reminiscent of an off-Broadway production of a 3rd rate play starring a bunch of nobodies. This is another one of those movies that has gore, nudity, bad trip lighting effects, an ominous priest gone bad and apparently a kitchen staff. This is another one of those movies that is well made and enjoyable, though about as awful as they come at the same time: A party movie.
But this is also another one of those movies that you'll have a hard time tracking down because of soundtrack rights to the movie's abusively awful late 1980's rock score, always a dumb idea, and does indeed end with a scene that commences with a title card reading "October 31th", further indication that the folks who made this epic were not the brightest bulbs in the lighthouse but knew how to have a good time, which may be more important. And as such, this is another one of those movies that if you DO manage to score a prior rental tape, DON'T TELL ANYONE YOU HAVE IT!! or certain people will never let you alone until you let them see it, which is a more frightening prospect than anything depicted in the movie itself. Trust me.
4/10
