Plot

While trying to decide what Gregor Samsa wakes up as, Kafka's constantly being interrupted by knife-selling strangers, party noise, girls, fancy dress costumes, and other strange, dreamlike visions.

It's nearly Christmas, but Franz Kafka (Richard E. Grant) stares at the single incomplete sentence on the page before him, frustrated by his inability to imagine what Gregor Samsa (Crispin Letts) has turned into upon waking. He desperately searches his attic room for inspiration. Will it be fruit? Will it be ... There's a knock at his door.

When Kafka opens his door, no one is on the shadowy landing. But as he starts to close the door, a low shape scuttles in the shadows. Suddenly that shape rises up and introduces himself as Woland the Knifeman (Ken Stott). He shows off some samples of knives he can sharpen, but Kafka nervously declines and tries to close his door. But Woland persists, becoming darker as he asks to search Kafka's rooms for his lost (and tiny) friend, Jimmy. Kafka finally manages to close his door and gloomily sits down to yet another page with the same incomplete sentence.

Will Gregor turn into ... Suddenly, the sound of a piano and laughter rises from the room below. Kafka storms downstairs and knocks impatiently on Miss Cicely's room. Miss Cicely (Elaine Collins) answers the door, revealing six young girls dancing lightheartedly around the furniture. They apologize for the loud party noises, but shows him why they keep laughing so hard. Their Kangaroo Dance gives Kafka another idea for Samsa's transformation. But he rejects that idea as too mammal.

Kafka returns to his room, and yet another page with the dangling sentence. In the middle of another stare session, something thuds outside his door as someone knocks on it. Frau Bunofsky (Phyllis Logan) is delivering an insect costume he ordered from her shop. She refuses to understand that Kafka did not order that fly costume until he mentions his address. Frau Bunofsky realizes that she made a mistake on the address - it is one street over! She apologizes, gathers up the costume and packaging, and trudges down the four flights of stairs.

Kafka returns to his futile efforts. But now a fly buzzes around the room. He chases after it with a bug sprayer, but realizes he cannot kill it since it also has a right to live. So he opens the window and lets it go. However when he sits down again, he sees a cockroach crawling on the page. In frustration, he smashes the roach and crumples the carcass and blood stained paper as yet another failed effort. But now, the piano and the giggles start again, even louder this time. Kafka storms from his room and yells down the stairs for quiet. The music and giggles cease. This has inspired him though. Now, Kafka feverishly dashes off sentence after sentence - inspired by the cockroach. But after a few pages, he comes to his senses, realizing he has murdered the roach. He searches through the discarded papers, trying to find the one with the roach. Just as he finds it, Miss Cicely comes into his room to apologize again. She finds Kafka on his knees mourning the death of a cockroach. She thinks it was his pet, and promises to help him find another pet. She rushes out of his room.

The door swings close by itself, revealing Woland the Knifeman hiding behind it. He reads what Kafka has written and realizes it was based on Jimmy's life! He advances on Kafka, threatening torture by amputation in revenge for his friend's death by Kafka's hand. It turns out Jimmy acted as Woland's conscience. Now with Jimmy's death, nothing will hold back Woland's lust for blood and pain. Just as he starts to cut off Kafka's fingers, Miss Cicely rushes in, along with the six girls. Each holds a jar with cockroaches crawling inside. Relieved, Kafka gladly accepts the gifts. Finally, Miss Cicely hands over a jar with a huge cockroach she found in the stairway. Woland exclaims in relief - it is Jimmy! He takes the jar with his friend inside and exits the flat.

Finally, everyone leaves Kafka's room and Kafka settles down to finish Metamorphosis.