KISS OF THE TARANTULA is the tale of Susan (Suzanna Ling) and her fuzzy, eight-legged friends. In the prologue, young Susan's mother doesn't share her daughter's love for arachnids, any more than she likes her undertaker husband embalming his bodies, or having to live in the mortuary. Mum is the first to suffer Susan's vengeance through the patter of tiny feet and piercing fangs!
All grown up, teen Susan still lives in dad's funeral home with him and her spider army. It's no surprise that she prefers her tarantulas to humans, since most people in her life are loutish imbeciles. Susan's crawly pals certainly come in handy for taking care of the local cretin population! Never before has such a massacre been filmed inside a Volkswagen Beetle! She's just getting warmed up!
Sort of like WILLARD meets CARRIE, this movie has victims put themselves into tight, incapacitated positions so that Susan's slow-moving creatures can kill them. Though it's not frightening in any way, it is fun to watch grown adults screaming, while allowing these big bugs to crawl all over them without swatting them off!
The finale in the funeral parlor -where 99% of the movie takes place- is the best part by far, and almost makes up for the first hour or so...
