807 reviews
- BHorrorWriter
- Jan 29, 2005
- Permalink
STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs
Patience Phillips (Halle Berry) is a pathetically meek graphic designer at a cosmetics firm who's also so utterly f*cking thick she does such idiotic things as risking her life by climbing onto a building to rescue a cat!However,one day she inadvertently learns that her bosses are planning to release an addictive anti-ageing cream (?!?) onto the shelves,and finds her life coming to a premature end.Or,is that beginning,as she finds herself turning into Catwoman,heroic defender of law and bringer of justice.
There is a distinctly cruel irony whereby a film can end up receiving so many bad reviews (which are meant to deter people from watching the film!) people end up watching it anyway...just to see how bad it is.I suppose on the basis of that,I should seek out 1998's The Avengers sometime.I'd like to give Showgirls a go sometime too (I missed it when they showed it on Channel 4 recently.) Yep,in terms of 2004's most major cinematic disaster,Catwoman was,well,not to put too fine a pun on it,the cat that got the cream.Opening to abominable reviews,from everyone from Empire to Zoo magazine,it was ushered out of cinemas during the 'summer blockbuster' period almost as quickly as it was released.It then placed it's lead star in the embarrassing position of accepting a razzie award having earned an Oscar for her devastating turn in Monster's Ball only a few years earlier.
It is a pretty dreadful film,but there are arguably a lot worse.It's main problem is the story,which is so uninteresting,but the same could be said of the action on display.Also,this is a film that's managed a pretty notorious achievement.It makes Halle Berry look unsexy.The first suit we see her strutting around in is okay and fairly pleasing to the eye,but the main one (the one she's in on the poster) is really unsexy and unflattering.
If you want to engage your curiosity value,go right ahead,but I hope you know what you're letting yourself in for.**
Patience Phillips (Halle Berry) is a pathetically meek graphic designer at a cosmetics firm who's also so utterly f*cking thick she does such idiotic things as risking her life by climbing onto a building to rescue a cat!However,one day she inadvertently learns that her bosses are planning to release an addictive anti-ageing cream (?!?) onto the shelves,and finds her life coming to a premature end.Or,is that beginning,as she finds herself turning into Catwoman,heroic defender of law and bringer of justice.
There is a distinctly cruel irony whereby a film can end up receiving so many bad reviews (which are meant to deter people from watching the film!) people end up watching it anyway...just to see how bad it is.I suppose on the basis of that,I should seek out 1998's The Avengers sometime.I'd like to give Showgirls a go sometime too (I missed it when they showed it on Channel 4 recently.) Yep,in terms of 2004's most major cinematic disaster,Catwoman was,well,not to put too fine a pun on it,the cat that got the cream.Opening to abominable reviews,from everyone from Empire to Zoo magazine,it was ushered out of cinemas during the 'summer blockbuster' period almost as quickly as it was released.It then placed it's lead star in the embarrassing position of accepting a razzie award having earned an Oscar for her devastating turn in Monster's Ball only a few years earlier.
It is a pretty dreadful film,but there are arguably a lot worse.It's main problem is the story,which is so uninteresting,but the same could be said of the action on display.Also,this is a film that's managed a pretty notorious achievement.It makes Halle Berry look unsexy.The first suit we see her strutting around in is okay and fairly pleasing to the eye,but the main one (the one she's in on the poster) is really unsexy and unflattering.
If you want to engage your curiosity value,go right ahead,but I hope you know what you're letting yourself in for.**
- wellthatswhatithinkanyway
- Apr 10, 2005
- Permalink
Wow. I just watched this film on TV. I didn't pay to see it in theaters, although I am considering filing a lawsuit against my cable company for mental anguish. A friend and I decided to watch it on a whim and as the credits rolled my friend asked who wrote it, to which I replied "You know, it's not always the writers fault." This is true is is not always the writer who messes up a story. But in this case it is very much the writers fault. Our story follows Patience as she goes from lovable shy girl to CAT-woman. I use the capitals in the word CAT because the writers seemed to feel the need to impress upon the audience at every possible turn that she is now a CAT-woman. I got the feeling that our trio of would-be poets would have preferred to stand in theaters with baseball bats labeled "CAT-woman" which they would swing at any member of the audience who didn't seem to appreciate the blatant cat references and mannerisms of Ms. Berry while screaming "GET IT? SHE'S A CAT! ISN'T THAT COOL??? SHE'S A CAT!" if they had been given the opportunity. The "cat-bat" is swung so often in this movie I began to feel the need for a catchers mask. The story is poorly thought out and the plot seems merely designed to let us see Halle in the leather suit a few times to distract us from considering the money wasted making this piece of litter. Oh and not to spoil things but the police in the movie are morons of the highest caliber. When presented with clues in the form of a used glass with DNA, fingerprints which were all over the jewelry store, or some lipstick? If you said fingerprints you'd be wrong, just as wrong as this movie.
I'm tempted to write a long piece explaining why this film was so bad, but I can all too easily summarise by saying "Everything".
It was poorly acted, predictable, unenthralling, clichéd nonsense. And that was just the first half hour, at which point, for the sake of my brain and stopping it melting with the sheer tedium, I walked out of the cinema.
If you're genuinely sad enough to believe that paying good money to see Halle Berry in a PVC suit is good enough reason to spend time gawking at this trash, then fine. Who am I to try to persuade you to try and do something more valuable with your time, like base-jumping without a parachute?
Utterly abysmal
It was poorly acted, predictable, unenthralling, clichéd nonsense. And that was just the first half hour, at which point, for the sake of my brain and stopping it melting with the sheer tedium, I walked out of the cinema.
If you're genuinely sad enough to believe that paying good money to see Halle Berry in a PVC suit is good enough reason to spend time gawking at this trash, then fine. Who am I to try to persuade you to try and do something more valuable with your time, like base-jumping without a parachute?
Utterly abysmal
- nigel_denning
- Jan 16, 2005
- Permalink
remember this flick; recall every poorly crafted detail; recite every stale line repeatedly. Why? Because one day, my friend, this train-wreck will be playing at your local buck and a quarter cinema @ midnight 30 with a line of freaks rolling along the walls. Each will be holding a ball of catnip in one hand and a jar of face cream in the other; and you'll be the #1 popularoso if you can recite along with this mutt. All I can say is WOW. That is the worst villain of all time: Marbleface.. my face has become marble from too much toxic face cream? No, this wasn't directed by a Frenchman. I mean it..This movies is A+ cheese. CGI catwoman to real Berry is stunning. Goes from sleek to klutzy instantly. If you like this movie like i do, your rolling on the floor. Every second is purely genius. If you liked it for real, your bus just pulled up, get away from the comp.
Highlights: 1) This is not Catwoman. Catwoman is Selina Kyle; this is patience something or other. This movie was too embarrassing to be connected with such an awesome character 2) My fav part of the lame costume: the shoes with the toes sticking out. 3) Oooooh the most sinister thing we can think of: the fiend knows the face cream is ruining the beautiful girls faces, but wants to profit anyhow. This kind of villainy puts Lex Luthor to shame! 4) Catwoman's freak out with the catnip! This is when the Rocky Horror crowd crowd will toss the catnip balls at the screen 5) You cannot argue with the music too loud scene. period. A keg's nozzle will NOT squirt that far Patience. How did you achieve such a feat. You really are a super hero.
Highlights: 1) This is not Catwoman. Catwoman is Selina Kyle; this is patience something or other. This movie was too embarrassing to be connected with such an awesome character 2) My fav part of the lame costume: the shoes with the toes sticking out. 3) Oooooh the most sinister thing we can think of: the fiend knows the face cream is ruining the beautiful girls faces, but wants to profit anyhow. This kind of villainy puts Lex Luthor to shame! 4) Catwoman's freak out with the catnip! This is when the Rocky Horror crowd crowd will toss the catnip balls at the screen 5) You cannot argue with the music too loud scene. period. A keg's nozzle will NOT squirt that far Patience. How did you achieve such a feat. You really are a super hero.
- timetwister77
- Feb 20, 2005
- Permalink
Oh, where to start...imagine all the intellectual depth of Showgirls, plus all the excessive and ridiculous special effects of Charlie's Angels, and then throw in some dialog crafted by whomever wrote for Governor Schwarzenegger's Mr. Freeze in the fourth Batman movie, and only then are you even close to a movie as awful as this.
I suppose one should not expect much from a director who actually refers to himself as Pitof. But let's come back to that. Let's move on to Halle Berry. Note to Halle Berry: Letting Billy Bob Thornton ream you endlessly on camera is certainly degrading, but it was also a good career move--and you won an Oscar; feverishly eating catnip and licking people's faces on camera, however, is not a good career move--and you'll probably win a Razzie this time. They make you return Oscars for movies like this. Oh yeah, as for the supernatural explanation for Patience Phillips/Catwoman's superhero status--she gets CPR from an immortal Egyptian cat--I am not kidding.
And then there is Benjamin Bratt, who happens to be a pretty solid actor, but could have very likely damaged a good career. If his participation in this movie isn't enough to stigmatize him, then I'm sure he had to pass up a lot of good roles because of all the time he spent having his foot surgically removed from his former agent's rectum. There is a scene in this movie--probably the worst, and that's no small achievement--that is reminiscent of that ridiculous scene in Daredevil where Jennifer Garner/Elektra and Ben Affleck/blind superhero have a Kung Fu fight at a playground in broad daylight; in this movie it's Halle Berry and Ben Bratt playing one-on-one hoops and her doing Catwoman flips and yet no one appears to be too amazed by this, much less pants-soiling surprised, and on top of that it has a sort of VH1/Color Me Bad/early New Edition video feel to it. And I'm really not sure what city this is all supposed to take place in--Gotham, Metropolis, the land beneath the whole in the cutting room floor--but apparently this place only has one detective, the unfortunate Bratt. No matter what the crime is--burglary, murder, domestic disturbance, interrupted ballet performance--he's always there.
As for the rest of the cast, that annoying woman from Mad TV--I know that's not specific enough; I mean the most annoying one who plays what I guess is supposed to be some bizarre Asian lady--well, she plays Catwoman's annoying and sort of slutty co-worker comic relief since Rosie O'Donnell was apparently unavailable.
And then we come to Sharon Stone. Now I know her career is going down the crapper with all deliberate speed, but it's still hard to understand this one. The only thing I can guess is that the opportunity to break into silly, pseudo-feminist diatribes made this a role she couldn't turn down. Of course Sharon has often lamented the lack of good roles for older women in Hollywood, and she's absolutely right about that, but this is not the best way to lodge a complaint, and plus that's always been a little peculiar coming from an actress whose greatest cinematic achievement is the conspicuous exposure of her labia.
Briefly back to this Pitof character--I thought that pretentious one-named idiot who did the Charlie's Angels movies--McG, I believe--was bad enough, but this guy is even more shameless and obviously lacking in talent. What's with these guys who've never made a movie and are already going by only one name? Don't you have to work up to that? I mean if is Scorsese wants to go by Marty, fine; if Tarantino wants to be just Quentin, or even just Q, whatever, but where does a hack like this get off using one name? This movie deserves every Razzie it receives, and while some reviewers may say it's not really that bad, remember, it took a lot of money to make this godawful thing, and if people don't speak out about how dreadful it really is, they just might make Catwoman 2. Can you live with that?
I suppose one should not expect much from a director who actually refers to himself as Pitof. But let's come back to that. Let's move on to Halle Berry. Note to Halle Berry: Letting Billy Bob Thornton ream you endlessly on camera is certainly degrading, but it was also a good career move--and you won an Oscar; feverishly eating catnip and licking people's faces on camera, however, is not a good career move--and you'll probably win a Razzie this time. They make you return Oscars for movies like this. Oh yeah, as for the supernatural explanation for Patience Phillips/Catwoman's superhero status--she gets CPR from an immortal Egyptian cat--I am not kidding.
And then there is Benjamin Bratt, who happens to be a pretty solid actor, but could have very likely damaged a good career. If his participation in this movie isn't enough to stigmatize him, then I'm sure he had to pass up a lot of good roles because of all the time he spent having his foot surgically removed from his former agent's rectum. There is a scene in this movie--probably the worst, and that's no small achievement--that is reminiscent of that ridiculous scene in Daredevil where Jennifer Garner/Elektra and Ben Affleck/blind superhero have a Kung Fu fight at a playground in broad daylight; in this movie it's Halle Berry and Ben Bratt playing one-on-one hoops and her doing Catwoman flips and yet no one appears to be too amazed by this, much less pants-soiling surprised, and on top of that it has a sort of VH1/Color Me Bad/early New Edition video feel to it. And I'm really not sure what city this is all supposed to take place in--Gotham, Metropolis, the land beneath the whole in the cutting room floor--but apparently this place only has one detective, the unfortunate Bratt. No matter what the crime is--burglary, murder, domestic disturbance, interrupted ballet performance--he's always there.
As for the rest of the cast, that annoying woman from Mad TV--I know that's not specific enough; I mean the most annoying one who plays what I guess is supposed to be some bizarre Asian lady--well, she plays Catwoman's annoying and sort of slutty co-worker comic relief since Rosie O'Donnell was apparently unavailable.
And then we come to Sharon Stone. Now I know her career is going down the crapper with all deliberate speed, but it's still hard to understand this one. The only thing I can guess is that the opportunity to break into silly, pseudo-feminist diatribes made this a role she couldn't turn down. Of course Sharon has often lamented the lack of good roles for older women in Hollywood, and she's absolutely right about that, but this is not the best way to lodge a complaint, and plus that's always been a little peculiar coming from an actress whose greatest cinematic achievement is the conspicuous exposure of her labia.
Briefly back to this Pitof character--I thought that pretentious one-named idiot who did the Charlie's Angels movies--McG, I believe--was bad enough, but this guy is even more shameless and obviously lacking in talent. What's with these guys who've never made a movie and are already going by only one name? Don't you have to work up to that? I mean if is Scorsese wants to go by Marty, fine; if Tarantino wants to be just Quentin, or even just Q, whatever, but where does a hack like this get off using one name? This movie deserves every Razzie it receives, and while some reviewers may say it's not really that bad, remember, it took a lot of money to make this godawful thing, and if people don't speak out about how dreadful it really is, they just might make Catwoman 2. Can you live with that?
Oh my, where do I begin? Well I could tell you that this is a well made action movie, but obviously I would be lying my head off. So instead, I want to tell you the truth. Are you ready? Here it comes
"DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE" Let me tell you why. If you see this movie and are over the age of 16, you will end up hating yourself for letting yourself rot for 104 minutes without getting anything back, except an increased feeling of wanting to get revenge on Hollywood. They say that it is very hard to get your script into a movie. Well, after seeing this movie, I think a one legged monkey could write a better script, without either pen or paper. The fact that Halle Berry even uses a male stunt double, makes me loose all respect for both her and this movie. Besides the stunt double thing, the movie still sucks. The dialog sucks, the acting is not even present and the action looks sloppy and poorly thought through. This movie actually made me like The Core better, which is pretty much impossible. I rate this movie 1/10
- udeaasykle
- Feb 10, 2005
- Permalink
Directing 0/10, Writing 0/10, Cinematography 0.5/10, Editing 1/10, Acting 0.5/10, Overall Satisfaction 0/10
Final- 0.5/10
One word is brought to mind when thinking back to my viewing of, Catwoman- Crap. It might be inspired by my estimation of the film's display of only 12 minutes of living, breathing actors (which I will get into more below). Or it could possibly be inspired by the many errors that there wasn't even an attempt to cover, i.e.- Patience becomes Catwoman after wandering into a restricted area. How did she get into this restricted area, you ask? By walking through the door marked 'RESTRICTED AREA,' in bold, red text, which was simply unlocked and didn't even have a significant locking device on it. You know, I might've also hated the movie (not worthy of the word 'film') because of the pointless-undeveloped story line. And, really, it's not possible to look beyond the disgustingly audacious 'style' of one-named director, Pitof, which can only be described as the style of a headless chicken running through a maze of landmines. Oh, yes, said headless chicken is also being chased by angry natives wielding machetes.
I mentioned above that I estimated that only 12 minutes of living, breathing actors were shown during the entire 140 minutes of film. Almost every sequence of the movie featuring an actor seemed to be butchered by the insertion of CGI's. I'm dead serious. I'm not just talking high-flying, sucky action sequences- I'm talking scenes of Catwoman walking to a motorcycle and calmly getting on it, and the other one that immediately comes to mind is a sequence where a man (a baddie) is simply walking. Yeah, walking. It seems agents and managers are really watching over their clients these days.
Now, two questions I'm asking-
1) What is the point of Catwoman? What the [expletive] does she do?
It's explained in the film that Midnight, the 'magical' cat, chose Patience to become Catwoman, but something is wrong here- CATWOMAN HAS NO PURPOSE!! Every other superhero out there has a purpose- They save people! It seems Catwoman's only purpose is to kill the people who attempted to kill her and chase a cricket or two. There's nothing else to her!
2) Where is the REAL back story?
It sure as [expletive] wasn't in the film! Why wasn't she shocked and attempting to reason and deal with the emotional ass-kicking that would come with the revelation? She's told she's Catwoman by the cliché cat lady, she buys a mask and nails and the result is the 'superhero.' It's adds up, but not into anything of any value whatsoever. Shame on you terrible writers!
Halle Berry is a good actress. I'm not doubting or denying that. She fully deserved her Academy Award nomination and win for 2001's Monster's Ball, but something bad happened here. Her acting started awful and ended awful. I'm hoping the talents and reputation of Berry won't be harmed by her inadequate performance.
Now, My request to Halle Berry- Ms. Berry, I want my money back. I never thought I could see such a terrible performance from an Oscar winning actress. Maybe you were just doing your best with the material? But, you know, that really is not a valid excuse. After reading the screenplay, you should've thrown it in the face of the agent who dared display it to you. How could you not notice how awful it was? Make some better choices and hopefully your career won't plummet as so many others have.
I recall an interview with Ashley Judd, the original casting choice for Catwoman, who said something along the lines of, 'Turning down the role of Catwoman is one the things I regret the most.' Ashley, never say that again. You have only been saved by not appearing in this hilariously terrible film.
Listen people, don't waste your money on this glorified..er um..crap. It's not worth the $6-$15 bucks!
So now you ask, why not just give it a zero? Why the zero-point five? Well, The editing was sufficiently bad; the acting of Alex Borstein could've possibly taken some effort, appropriately placed CGI's were okay, and I like cats.
Directing 0/10, Writing 0/10, Cinematography 0.5/10, Editing 1/10, Acting 0.5/10, Overall Satisfaction 0/10
Final- 0.5/10
Final- 0.5/10
One word is brought to mind when thinking back to my viewing of, Catwoman- Crap. It might be inspired by my estimation of the film's display of only 12 minutes of living, breathing actors (which I will get into more below). Or it could possibly be inspired by the many errors that there wasn't even an attempt to cover, i.e.- Patience becomes Catwoman after wandering into a restricted area. How did she get into this restricted area, you ask? By walking through the door marked 'RESTRICTED AREA,' in bold, red text, which was simply unlocked and didn't even have a significant locking device on it. You know, I might've also hated the movie (not worthy of the word 'film') because of the pointless-undeveloped story line. And, really, it's not possible to look beyond the disgustingly audacious 'style' of one-named director, Pitof, which can only be described as the style of a headless chicken running through a maze of landmines. Oh, yes, said headless chicken is also being chased by angry natives wielding machetes.
I mentioned above that I estimated that only 12 minutes of living, breathing actors were shown during the entire 140 minutes of film. Almost every sequence of the movie featuring an actor seemed to be butchered by the insertion of CGI's. I'm dead serious. I'm not just talking high-flying, sucky action sequences- I'm talking scenes of Catwoman walking to a motorcycle and calmly getting on it, and the other one that immediately comes to mind is a sequence where a man (a baddie) is simply walking. Yeah, walking. It seems agents and managers are really watching over their clients these days.
Now, two questions I'm asking-
1) What is the point of Catwoman? What the [expletive] does she do?
It's explained in the film that Midnight, the 'magical' cat, chose Patience to become Catwoman, but something is wrong here- CATWOMAN HAS NO PURPOSE!! Every other superhero out there has a purpose- They save people! It seems Catwoman's only purpose is to kill the people who attempted to kill her and chase a cricket or two. There's nothing else to her!
2) Where is the REAL back story?
It sure as [expletive] wasn't in the film! Why wasn't she shocked and attempting to reason and deal with the emotional ass-kicking that would come with the revelation? She's told she's Catwoman by the cliché cat lady, she buys a mask and nails and the result is the 'superhero.' It's adds up, but not into anything of any value whatsoever. Shame on you terrible writers!
Halle Berry is a good actress. I'm not doubting or denying that. She fully deserved her Academy Award nomination and win for 2001's Monster's Ball, but something bad happened here. Her acting started awful and ended awful. I'm hoping the talents and reputation of Berry won't be harmed by her inadequate performance.
Now, My request to Halle Berry- Ms. Berry, I want my money back. I never thought I could see such a terrible performance from an Oscar winning actress. Maybe you were just doing your best with the material? But, you know, that really is not a valid excuse. After reading the screenplay, you should've thrown it in the face of the agent who dared display it to you. How could you not notice how awful it was? Make some better choices and hopefully your career won't plummet as so many others have.
I recall an interview with Ashley Judd, the original casting choice for Catwoman, who said something along the lines of, 'Turning down the role of Catwoman is one the things I regret the most.' Ashley, never say that again. You have only been saved by not appearing in this hilariously terrible film.
Listen people, don't waste your money on this glorified..er um..crap. It's not worth the $6-$15 bucks!
So now you ask, why not just give it a zero? Why the zero-point five? Well, The editing was sufficiently bad; the acting of Alex Borstein could've possibly taken some effort, appropriately placed CGI's were okay, and I like cats.
Directing 0/10, Writing 0/10, Cinematography 0.5/10, Editing 1/10, Acting 0.5/10, Overall Satisfaction 0/10
Final- 0.5/10
- expiremedia
- Jul 27, 2004
- Permalink
I enjoyed this movie. It made me laugh at the end of a tough day. "Camp" is defined as "an affectation or appreciation of manners and tastes commonly thought to be outlandish, vulgar, or banal." It is also defined as "banality or artificiality when appreciated for its humor." I agree that movies such as "Spiderman" have taken the comic book genre into the realm of serious drama, and I enjoy that as a long-time fan of that comic series. And it would have been interesting to have seen "Catwoman" taken in that direction; however, it was not, and we should appreciate and enjoy the movie for what the writers and director chose to do with it. It is as much about Halle Berry as it is the comic book character herself. When Halle makes her appearance in that leather suit, walking along seductively, that will go down in film history right alongside Raquel Welch in her cave woman outfit that we have seen so many times on posters. When Halle throws that little overdone strut into her walk, that brings a smile to my face and actually makes me laugh out loud at times. True, Sharon Stone is over the hill as an aesthetic pleasure, and the plot is as silly as any we have seen. But that is the whole point! Laugh at and with this film, enjoy it as a piece of work not meant to be serious drama. This film rates a B in my book, whereas "Sky Captain" is barely a C.
I scored a free ticket to this movie, and I thought, hey, I've wasted my whole life up to now, what's another hundred and forty-one minutes? After all, I have a higher tolerance for crap than most people, and, once in a while, I like to see something that completely sucks. According to the critics and to voters on IMDb, Catwoman is supposed to suck bad. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, the movie really doesn't suck. I mean, yeah, it sucks, but it hardly plumbs the depths of true suckitude. Currently it sits at #35 on the IMDb bottom 100, but I can think of way more than 34 other movies that suck far worse than Catwoman. It is much more fair to say that it is a mediocre, perhaps slightly below average, action film. It has a few pros and lots of cons. The cons first: 1) The jumpy editing is awful. 2) Way too much CGI. Same problem with the 500 pound gorilla comic book movie out right now, as well. CGI is probably the worst thing ever to happen to cinema; it's hard to believe people are worshiping a technique that looks more fake than stop-motion. 3) Benjamin Bratt is a horrible actor, and the ugliest handsome man I've ever seen. 4) How the f*ck did Alex Borstein land a movie role? She should be doomed to die on MAD TV, the longest running train wreck of a show ever. 5) Crappy, crappy script. The pros: 1) The film looks wonderful, even though that's due mostly to the CGI (I guess when it's making buildings and inanimate objects like that, it's not so bad). The costume design, even apart from the Catwoman outfit. And if they gave out Oscars to hair stylists, the ones who worked on this film would have no competition. 2) Sharon Stone not a great performance, by any means. Her character is downright silly, perhaps even nonsensical. But she's gorgeous and has a great presence. She makes a really boring villain somewhat more interesting. 3) Duh! Halle Berry! She might not have the best ability to choose roles. Perhaps she's just obsessed with money, and now that she's got a statuette, she's going to do everything in her power to become a billionaire. Whatever you can say about her, she's a great actress. Last year, she brought Gothika up a notch, and she does a lot to make Catwoman more entertaining than it ought to be. She plays the characters' two halves, the sweet, insecure girl and the dominatrix, very well. And, come on, I'd be lying if I said I didn't go to the movie because I thought Berry would be walking around in a leather outfit for a good portion of the movie. And, damn, she's hot. This makes the movie watchable, if nothing else. There's a shot where the camera circles Berry from toe to head right after she first dons the Catwoman which was worth the price of me embarrassing myself by handing my free pass over to the cute little theater girl at the counter. 5/10.
Wow...I have never seen such horrendous footage in my life! I would normally never knock something without having seen it in its entirety, but this film is utter $hit! Put it back in the litter box and throw it out!
I've seen about 45 minutes of footage and it really looks like something someone did as a flash film and they thought "Hmm...this would look cool on film!!"
I think it's total and utter betrayal of the character's roots is bad enough, but to compound that by ripping off elements from other comic-based action films (The Crow, Spider-Man 1 & 2, etc.) is just adding more nails to this already sealed coffin.
The only positive reviews I have read seem to say that "It wasn't as bad as everyone said it was, but it was bad". That isn't a positive review. The only people who enjoyed this film are pre-pubescent guys who will never know the touch of a woman without shucking out a few hundred bucks for it.
This film is a disgrace to comics, movies, and mankind in general, and any woman who thinks this film is "empowering" is probably some young promiscuous woman will will be called "MAMA" before she hit age 17.
Beware this movie, and avoid it like the freaking' plague.
I've seen about 45 minutes of footage and it really looks like something someone did as a flash film and they thought "Hmm...this would look cool on film!!"
I think it's total and utter betrayal of the character's roots is bad enough, but to compound that by ripping off elements from other comic-based action films (The Crow, Spider-Man 1 & 2, etc.) is just adding more nails to this already sealed coffin.
The only positive reviews I have read seem to say that "It wasn't as bad as everyone said it was, but it was bad". That isn't a positive review. The only people who enjoyed this film are pre-pubescent guys who will never know the touch of a woman without shucking out a few hundred bucks for it.
This film is a disgrace to comics, movies, and mankind in general, and any woman who thinks this film is "empowering" is probably some young promiscuous woman will will be called "MAMA" before she hit age 17.
Beware this movie, and avoid it like the freaking' plague.
I grew up watching this movie and loving it as well, so it was quite a surprise reading all the hatful and derrogatory comments that it had. When watching this film you have to come in won't the right mindset, you can't expect it to be accurate in terms of the comics or you will be disappointed. This movie is not dark or serious, it's fun which in turn makes it entertaining. Cat Woman, in this film, is spontaneous, witty, and overall weird. However it makes sense that the character behaves in such a way. From a realistic point of view, if one were to be magically revived by cats, they're bound to experience some odd alterationa in their personality and actions. In any case, if you plan to watch this movie don't go in expecting comic book accuracy, but instead expect and entertaining quirky action flick and you'll probably enjoy it.
I liked it. OK, it wasn't the best film ever, and yeah, there have been better Catwomen (namely, Julie Newmar and Michelle Pfeiffer), but when you sit and watch it with no expectations, it's actually kind of cool.
From a superhero point of view it's a little one-sided- there aren't any real villains, at least, none who pose a real threat. Although Sharon Stone's character reminded me a tad of Poison Ivy, you know, super-beauty-products and all that jazz. But I quite liked that it showed how someone really quiet and shy can turn into a catty, sexy weirdo.
No offence meant to catty, sexy weirdos.
Catwoman has no real point to it, other than to explain how Patience gets her powers. It would be good if there was a follow-up where she beat Batman / Superman / Poison Ivy or whoever, but since the film did so badly this seems about as likely to happen as pigs flying, hell freezing over, and Ozzy Osbourne announcing a fondness for Girls Aloud. Which is a shame, because I didn't think the film was that bad.
They'd have been better off doing a spin-off from the Batman flicks with Michelle P (or a lookalike) as Catwoman, so the back story wouldn't be necessary.
Don't hate me for loving Catwoman. Please?
From a superhero point of view it's a little one-sided- there aren't any real villains, at least, none who pose a real threat. Although Sharon Stone's character reminded me a tad of Poison Ivy, you know, super-beauty-products and all that jazz. But I quite liked that it showed how someone really quiet and shy can turn into a catty, sexy weirdo.
No offence meant to catty, sexy weirdos.
Catwoman has no real point to it, other than to explain how Patience gets her powers. It would be good if there was a follow-up where she beat Batman / Superman / Poison Ivy or whoever, but since the film did so badly this seems about as likely to happen as pigs flying, hell freezing over, and Ozzy Osbourne announcing a fondness for Girls Aloud. Which is a shame, because I didn't think the film was that bad.
They'd have been better off doing a spin-off from the Batman flicks with Michelle P (or a lookalike) as Catwoman, so the back story wouldn't be necessary.
Don't hate me for loving Catwoman. Please?
- koshka-devotchka
- Feb 12, 2007
- Permalink
Isn't it strange that a whole back of positive comments for "Catwoman" just popped up in the past few days? What is even stranger is that 8 of these positve "reviewers" have reviewed only one movie: Catwoman. Draw your own conclusions. As for the movie: Sharon Stone phoned in her performance. Ms Berry danced and pranced to no avail. Is there any way I can get thoese 90 minutes of my life back? Quite a few people left, but I stayed to the end. "He chose poorly". All I can say is: Lame plot, wooden acting, bad special effects. Stay Away! Bad Kitty!
The picture talks on a vogue designer , Patience (Halle Berry) , who discovers a conspiracy by her chiefs (the cunning marriage : Sharon Stone and Lambert Wilson). She escapes dropping at the sea and for a spell of a holy cat , she is transformed and awakes with ultra-keen senses as Catwoman , including an extreme speed , agility and strength . A policeman (Benjamin Bratt) investigates odd murders that are leading to her , but they then fall in love . They'll have to confront several risks and dangers until the attaining of her innocence as a public criminal .
The picture has got a certain remembrance to last adaptations based on comic books , thus ¨Daredevil¨ and ¨Electra¨ but lack luster and budget . The movie mingles tension , action , humor , a love story and being enough amusing . From the beginning to finish the action-packed and suspense are continued and fast-moving and that's why it isn't tiring , neither boring , but fun . Over use of digital effects , though also were utilized 43 cats that trained for the film . The final duel between the starring and the baddies is impressive and exciting . The film obtained moderated success and the producers didn't achieve the wished box office and isn't sure if it will have a sequel . Thierry Arbogast cinematography is colorful and shimmer . Klaus Badlet score is nice and atmospheric but is shaded by a monotonous pop music . The motion picture was regularly directed by Pitof who his previous film , Vidoq , made it much better . In fact , this ¨Catwoman¨ achieved several Razzie Awards . Yarn will appeal to Halle Berry fans and superheroine comics enthusiast . Rating : mediocre and entertaining .
The picture has got a certain remembrance to last adaptations based on comic books , thus ¨Daredevil¨ and ¨Electra¨ but lack luster and budget . The movie mingles tension , action , humor , a love story and being enough amusing . From the beginning to finish the action-packed and suspense are continued and fast-moving and that's why it isn't tiring , neither boring , but fun . Over use of digital effects , though also were utilized 43 cats that trained for the film . The final duel between the starring and the baddies is impressive and exciting . The film obtained moderated success and the producers didn't achieve the wished box office and isn't sure if it will have a sequel . Thierry Arbogast cinematography is colorful and shimmer . Klaus Badlet score is nice and atmospheric but is shaded by a monotonous pop music . The motion picture was regularly directed by Pitof who his previous film , Vidoq , made it much better . In fact , this ¨Catwoman¨ achieved several Razzie Awards . Yarn will appeal to Halle Berry fans and superheroine comics enthusiast . Rating : mediocre and entertaining .
Like I said not the worst film I have ever seen however it is on a par with Batman and Robin etc. However if you like eye candy i.e. Halle Berry in a leather bikini then this is your film.
Plot.... Non-descript Action.... Too much CGI Dialogue.... Naf (British expression for crap)
Like I said not the worst film I have ever seen but certainly a stinker. Not too bad though if you are looking for a rainy day movie with the lads with mute switched on.
Seriously its OK just a shame that they didn't manage a Spiderman, X-Men or Batman out of it.
Plot.... Non-descript Action.... Too much CGI Dialogue.... Naf (British expression for crap)
Like I said not the worst film I have ever seen but certainly a stinker. Not too bad though if you are looking for a rainy day movie with the lads with mute switched on.
Seriously its OK just a shame that they didn't manage a Spiderman, X-Men or Batman out of it.
- merlinmagic
- Jan 23, 2006
- Permalink
I was so angry when I saw this film. I tried to like it, but from the moment a CGI cat appears when a real cat would have been far more effective and easier to produce, I couldn't stop cursing myself for having given the filmmakers my money. It is the most unmitigated piece of sh*t I have ever seen, worse still than Batman and Robin.
The plot is like an episode of Baywatch, Halle Berry is completely unsexy and the effects are pure rubbish. Not to mention the stinking direction. I hope that "Pitof" never sullies the cinema again with this kind of tripe.
Please, take heed: nobody else should ever see this atrocious film.
The plot is like an episode of Baywatch, Halle Berry is completely unsexy and the effects are pure rubbish. Not to mention the stinking direction. I hope that "Pitof" never sullies the cinema again with this kind of tripe.
Please, take heed: nobody else should ever see this atrocious film.
- kristianvolsing
- Mar 22, 2005
- Permalink
How could a movie that features Halle Berry in a skimpy, tight, leather outfit be unwatchable? I don't know how, but the geniuses in Hollywood found a way. This movie is so bad, I was embarrassed that I was even watching it. I'm even embarrassed writing a review because you then know what I must have watched it. Halle Berry doesn't even become Catwoman until about 1/2 hour into the movie. Its not just bad, ITS SLOW TOO! Not worth a rent, not worth watching on cable, and not even worth stopping on when flipping through the channels. Stick to masterpieces like "Gigli" and "Caddyshack 2" because this is what "Catwoman" makes films like those look like.
Grade: F-
Grade: F-
- toucansam3
- Feb 17, 2005
- Permalink
The only thing good I have to say about this movie is that no matter what, Benjamin Bratt is a fox. I honestly believe the writers, producers and directors just figured they'd throw in a few sex symbols - Benjamin, Halle and Sharon - and the audience would overlook the travesty that was this film. But how stupid do they think we are??? Good Lord. They could as well have just dressed the three of them up in costumes and let them walk up and down a stage and it would have been much more entertaining than it actually was.
I'm sorry, because I love Halle, I love Benjamin, and I don't really mind Sharon, but honestly I think this movie was pointless, anti-climactic and uninspired. It took me two days to get through it, and it's an experience I would love to push out of my memory. As I was watching it I was just praying I would see a shot of a half-naked Benjamin Bratt so I'd feel as if I got at least a quarter of my money's worth. Well...I got like an arm and a bit of chest. At least the guys got to see Halle prance, strut and jump about in a skin-tight leather suit. That's the best I can say.
I'm sorry, because I love Halle, I love Benjamin, and I don't really mind Sharon, but honestly I think this movie was pointless, anti-climactic and uninspired. It took me two days to get through it, and it's an experience I would love to push out of my memory. As I was watching it I was just praying I would see a shot of a half-naked Benjamin Bratt so I'd feel as if I got at least a quarter of my money's worth. Well...I got like an arm and a bit of chest. At least the guys got to see Halle prance, strut and jump about in a skin-tight leather suit. That's the best I can say.
- loonsntunes
- Jul 25, 2005
- Permalink
Dear Ms. Halle Berry:
After watching Gothika earlier this year I wrote you a letter detailing my bewilderment with your film choices after so historically taking home an Academy Award for your role in Monster's Ball. My letter detailed how I felt you should have used your new bargaining power to solidify yourself amongst the great non-white actors of any era.
I can only assume that my letter did not hit its target as I have just had the displeasure of watching your new big screen dud, Catwoman.
Let me first say that I was intrigued upon first hearing about the role and when I saw the production stills of you in your Catwoman outfit, I became rather weak at the knees. After seeing your body in Monster's Ball and in Swordfish, I had the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end at the notion of you in a leather outfit with strategic rips throughout and a whip that would make you my first call of choice had I ever been in peril and needed a superhero s.t.a.t.
I wasn't keen on the Catwoman character however. I was a religious watcher of the campy Batman television serial and the Catwoman villain as played by Julie Newmar and perfected by Ertha Kitt and I thought Catwoman was best on a show that didn't take itself seriously as, let's face it, having claws and a whip as your weapons of choice are kinda comical.
But a funny thing happened, Michelle Pfeiffer had a kick at the suit in 1992's Batman Returns and although the movie was a major disappointment and the character still seemed stale, I was at least intrigued by the woman behind the suit.
To make a long letter shorter, I then held out the smallest glimpse of hope for your entry. Then I had the unfortunate occurrence of seeing the trailer. What led you to this role I wondered. The script revealed nothing that would lead me to believe that this was a good career choice. In short, a woman who is the prettiest, most polite individual this side of both oceans, happens upon a corporate conspiracy of her employer, Hedare Beauty. A result of her findings, she is left for dead, but resurrects as someone who feels comfortable wearing leather and donning nails that leave marks on lovers that would make Freddy Krueger weep in appreciation. After settling a few gripes, she goes after the corporation heads while trying to maintain a relationship with her new boyfriend cop played rather naively by Benjamin Bratt.
Hmm, a revenge film where someone comes back from near death to use their new athletic ability acquired in their coma state into a world of hurt for all those that get in the way. Well, that has never been done before has it?
For the first time in almost five months, the theatre patrons did not bug me during your film. Usually, I am the unlucky sonofabitch that always seems to find the group of people either in front or behind that have no theatre manners. Just my luck, during Catwoman, the audience was silent (except of course for the roar of laughter that I am sure was unintended at certain points in the movie). Maybe in awe of the sheer audaciousness of the venture or maybe showing signs of embarrassment for you, barely a snore could be heard. I have never so much wanted to listen to someone talk about his or her golf game on the weekend during a film in many many a cat's life.
So, Ms. Berry before I wrote you regarding my lack of understanding as to your choices. This time, I am writing to you asking for my money back. The only good thing in Catwoman is your outfit and you took too long to adorn said costume. The special effects were the jerkiest I have seen this side of the new millennium and had it not been for Sharon Stone and a few good biting comments, I probably would have used my pen to start slashing the screen. Not being able to blame the director (someone named Pitof that had as much experience behind the camera as I have had between the sheets), I must apply the full 100% of my angst towards you.
I leave it here at peace in hopes that Catwoman does not have 9-lives. From the reaction to the audience, I expect this made-for-Mystery-Science-Theatre waste of time will end up on video before you could lick up a bowl of milk with your hands behind you back.
Come to think of it, THAT I would have paid for.
www.gregsrants.com
After watching Gothika earlier this year I wrote you a letter detailing my bewilderment with your film choices after so historically taking home an Academy Award for your role in Monster's Ball. My letter detailed how I felt you should have used your new bargaining power to solidify yourself amongst the great non-white actors of any era.
I can only assume that my letter did not hit its target as I have just had the displeasure of watching your new big screen dud, Catwoman.
Let me first say that I was intrigued upon first hearing about the role and when I saw the production stills of you in your Catwoman outfit, I became rather weak at the knees. After seeing your body in Monster's Ball and in Swordfish, I had the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end at the notion of you in a leather outfit with strategic rips throughout and a whip that would make you my first call of choice had I ever been in peril and needed a superhero s.t.a.t.
I wasn't keen on the Catwoman character however. I was a religious watcher of the campy Batman television serial and the Catwoman villain as played by Julie Newmar and perfected by Ertha Kitt and I thought Catwoman was best on a show that didn't take itself seriously as, let's face it, having claws and a whip as your weapons of choice are kinda comical.
But a funny thing happened, Michelle Pfeiffer had a kick at the suit in 1992's Batman Returns and although the movie was a major disappointment and the character still seemed stale, I was at least intrigued by the woman behind the suit.
To make a long letter shorter, I then held out the smallest glimpse of hope for your entry. Then I had the unfortunate occurrence of seeing the trailer. What led you to this role I wondered. The script revealed nothing that would lead me to believe that this was a good career choice. In short, a woman who is the prettiest, most polite individual this side of both oceans, happens upon a corporate conspiracy of her employer, Hedare Beauty. A result of her findings, she is left for dead, but resurrects as someone who feels comfortable wearing leather and donning nails that leave marks on lovers that would make Freddy Krueger weep in appreciation. After settling a few gripes, she goes after the corporation heads while trying to maintain a relationship with her new boyfriend cop played rather naively by Benjamin Bratt.
Hmm, a revenge film where someone comes back from near death to use their new athletic ability acquired in their coma state into a world of hurt for all those that get in the way. Well, that has never been done before has it?
For the first time in almost five months, the theatre patrons did not bug me during your film. Usually, I am the unlucky sonofabitch that always seems to find the group of people either in front or behind that have no theatre manners. Just my luck, during Catwoman, the audience was silent (except of course for the roar of laughter that I am sure was unintended at certain points in the movie). Maybe in awe of the sheer audaciousness of the venture or maybe showing signs of embarrassment for you, barely a snore could be heard. I have never so much wanted to listen to someone talk about his or her golf game on the weekend during a film in many many a cat's life.
So, Ms. Berry before I wrote you regarding my lack of understanding as to your choices. This time, I am writing to you asking for my money back. The only good thing in Catwoman is your outfit and you took too long to adorn said costume. The special effects were the jerkiest I have seen this side of the new millennium and had it not been for Sharon Stone and a few good biting comments, I probably would have used my pen to start slashing the screen. Not being able to blame the director (someone named Pitof that had as much experience behind the camera as I have had between the sheets), I must apply the full 100% of my angst towards you.
I leave it here at peace in hopes that Catwoman does not have 9-lives. From the reaction to the audience, I expect this made-for-Mystery-Science-Theatre waste of time will end up on video before you could lick up a bowl of milk with your hands behind you back.
Come to think of it, THAT I would have paid for.
www.gregsrants.com
- gregsrants
- Jul 24, 2004
- Permalink
Right so I thought that this Catwoman movie staring Halle Berry was a quite delightful and fun superhero motive to watch. Which I very much can recommend everyone with in interest in superheros. And a much better movie then what I think some critics would argue :)
It makes you really wish you for a sequel.
It makes you really wish you for a sequel.
- oliver-propst
- May 30, 2022
- Permalink
24 July 2004. I had doubts, but Halle Berry makes a perrrfect catwoman with her moves and feline behavior. Though a terrible basketball player that stunt doubles or special effects can't hide, her transformation into Catwoman is one of the best personality changes besides The Fly. The action is good, Sharon Stone's script is a little weak though it's good to see her back. The ending is suggestive of Spiderman. Halle isn't so much erotic or sexual as sensual as she herself has described. There isn't so much sex as wild, unbridled heated freedom with enhanced senses. I would think perhaps, this movie might be too threatening for men and a bit out of the box for women. Yet, as a movie - the transformation of the independence of cats into a inhibited, passive women into her own is a powerful message and experience that Catwoman manages to capture. Seven out of Ten Stars.
Wow - where to begin???? Firstly, this film should prove that the Oscars are rigged - Berry can act about as well as I can fly. She deserved the Oscar about as much as George Bush deserves an award for world peace. And Pitof???? Who are you? Madonna???????? Unless you're a mega-star - USE 2 NAMES! Well, as a visual effects producer myself, I can say with confidence that he shouldn't give up his day job - directing VFX is very different to directing a film. Even having said that, the VFX in "Catwoman" were pathetic at best: half of it looked liked a poorly rendered video game!!! Please go back to France and do something else with your life like making coffee or croissants or pretending to be American.... 2hrs of my life WASTED!
Users here laud the comic book faithful Spidermen yet lambast this flick. I did not find any of these blockbusters to have uncrapful stories and characters, but Catwoman's visual styling outmatches its Raimi-directed rival.
No, I'm not talking about how "realistic" the CGI is, or any other oxymoronic geek rhetoric; I'm praising the photography and editing and color and metropolis design and, and, well, the great art direction. Add to this the non-dull-Joe-Blow-50s-americana-characters-(witty, sexy) and you have a delicious pulp feature, at least not the "total disaster" other high-minded described.
No, I'm not talking about how "realistic" the CGI is, or any other oxymoronic geek rhetoric; I'm praising the photography and editing and color and metropolis design and, and, well, the great art direction. Add to this the non-dull-Joe-Blow-50s-americana-characters-(witty, sexy) and you have a delicious pulp feature, at least not the "total disaster" other high-minded described.
- arthurwycliff
- Aug 7, 2004
- Permalink