Megamind (2010)
David Cross: Minion
Photos
Quotes
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[a solar-powered laser starts to activate]
Minion : [at a monitor] Death ray readying!
Megamind : Let's see if Metro Man can withstand the full concentrated power of the sun! FIRE!
[nothing happens]
Megamind : [to Minion] Fire!
Minion : [at monitor] Still warming up, sir.
Megamind : Come again?
Minion : Warming up.
Megamind : Warming up? The sun is WARMING UP?
Minion : Just a little more and...
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Minion : My sole purpose in life is to look after you!
Megamind : Well, I don't need you to look after me!
Minion : What are you... what are you saying? You don't need me?
Megamind : Let me make it clear. Code: I don't need you.
Minion : You know what? You know what? Code: I'll just pack my thing and go!
Megamind : Code: Fine!
Minion : Code: Fine back! Good luck on your date!
Megamind : I will!
Minion : That doesn't even make any sense!
Megamind : I know!
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Megamind : You can scream all you wish, Miss Ritchi! I'm afraid no one can hear you!
[Roxanne just gives him an exasperated look]
Megamind : Uh, why isn't she screaming?
Minion : Miss Ritchi, if you don't mind...
Megamind : Like this!
[does a fake scream]
Megamind : Well, that's a poor lady scream...
[the brainbot in his lap bites his hand, and he lets out a high-pitched scream]
Megamind : AAAAAHHH!
Roxanne Ritchi : [smirking] That's a little better.
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Megamind : MINION!
Minion : [wounded] I can't see... it's cold and dark, and warm and light...
Megamind : It's me, Minion. I'm right here.
Minion : We've had a lot of adventures together, you and I...
Megamind : We have.
Minion : I mean... most of them ended in horrible failure... but we won today, didn't we, sir?
Megamind : Yes, Minion. We did it, thanks to you.
Minion : Code... we're the good guys now.
Megamind : Code: I guess we are.
Minion : Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm going! I think this is it! I'm going far away...!
[Megamind picks up his friend's body... and drops it in the fountain]
Megamind : What a drama queen!
Minion : You know, I'm feeling much better now! Guess I just needed a swim...
Megamind : [to Roxanne] He had you going, didn't he? Classic Minion.
Megamind : [to Minion] Don't give me that face. He reels you in with that little face! Look at that face!
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Megamind : [talking to a Drinking Bird toy] I know. Funny. Always thirsty, never satisfied. I understand you, little well dressed bird. Purposeless, emptiness. It's a vacuum, isn't it? It's... What's your vacuum like?
Minion : [bursts in with the Venus de Milo statue] I'm going off the rails on a crazy train, sir!
Megamind : Hey, not now, Minion! I'm in a heated, existential discussion with this dead-eyed, plastic desk toy.
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Megamind : [wounded] I'm sorry... I did the best I could...
Roxanne Ritchi : I'm so proud of you.
[Megamind touches his watch, reveling that he is actually Minion in disguise]
Roxanne Ritchi : Minion?
Minion : Surprise!
[chuckles nervously]
Minion : He's the real hero!
[points at Metro Man fighting Titan]
Roxanne Ritchi : [suddenly realizing] Megamind!
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Roxanne Ritchi : [looking around Megamind's lair] Is there some kind of nerdy supervillain website where you get Tesla coils and blinky dials?
Minion : Actually, most of it comes from an outlet store in...
Megamind : Don't answer that!
Minion : [whispering] Romania.
Megamind : NO! She's using her nosy reporter skills on your weak-willed mind to find out all our secrets! Such tricks... won't work... on ME.
Roxanne Ritchi : [sarcastic] Please talk slower.
Megamind : Temptress!
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Minion : This is about Miss Ritchi, isn't it? You're going on a date with her!
Megamind : [laughs] No, my main man! Get out of town!
Minion : Oh, this is bad... This is bad! You've fallen in love with her!
Megamind : You are forgetting your place, Minion. Now give me the keys!
Minion : What happens when Roxanne finds out who you really are?
Megamind : She'll never find out! That's the point of lying!
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Megamind : [clutching his forehead] My spider bite is acting up!
Roxanne Ritchi : Your plan is failing. Just admit it.
Minion : Yeah, good luck with THAT one!
Megamind : [to Minion] Whose side are you on?
Roxanne Ritchi : The losing side.
Minion : Thank you!
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[Metro Man suddenly collapses with exhaustion in the observatory]
Megamind : What trickery is this?
Metro Man : You mad genius!... Your dark gift has finally paid off!
Megamind : It-it has?
Metro Man : These walls... they're obviously lined... with copper!
Megamind : Yeah, so?
Minion : Sir!
[points to the monitor, which shows the death-ray is about to start up]
Metro Man : Copper... drains my powers!
Megamind : Your weakness is copper? Y-you're kidding right?
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Megamind : Warden, you have to let me out! You have to let me go! Titan has to be stopped!
Warden : Sorry, Megamind, you still have eight-five life sentences to live through. It'll give you plenty of time to think about what you've done.
Megamind : You want me to say it? I'll say it! Here it is, from the deepest, blackest pit of my heart: I'M SORRY!
Warden : ...Not buying it.
Megamind : [sighs] I don't blame you. I've terrorized the city countless times. I've created a hero who's turned out to be a villain. I treated my best friend, Minion, like dirt. But I beg you, don't let Roxanne, don't let this city pay for my wrongdoings.
Minion : [removing the Warder disguise] Apology accepted.
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Hal : Who are you?
Megamind : I sent you to this planet to teach you about honor, justice, and nobility. I am your father.
Hal : So... you're like my space dad?
Megamind : ...Yeah. I'm like your space dad.
Hal : [to Minion] And you are... what?
Minion : I'm your space stepmom! I've had some work done recently.
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[from trailer]
Minion : Well, this is a strange turn of events...
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[Megamind extracts Metro Man's DNA]
Minion : Sir, I think this is a bad idea...
Megamind : Yes, a very wickedly bad idea for the greater good of bad!
Minion : But I'm saying it's the kind of bad that... Okay, you might think is good from your bad perception, but from a good perception... It's just plain bad.
Megamind : Oh, you don't know what's good for bad!
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Minion : Who wants churros?
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Minion : [to Megamind] Why do you always blame me?
