- Cleveland Tourism Guy: [singing] It could be worse, though/at least we're not Detroit! We're not Detroit!
- Michael Moore: No, they're not Detroit!
- Israelite: You say the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. But when exactly will it be?
- Jesus: When you deregulate the banking industry.
- Rep. Dennis Kucinich: Is this the United States Congress or the board of directors of Goldman Sachs?
- Arnold Schwarzenegger: I left Europe four decades ago because Socialism has killed opportunities there.
- Michael Moore: [Regarding the February, 2009 crash of Continental flight 3407 in Buffalo, New York] No one survived the crash, and 50 people lost their lives. The Media focused on the actions of the pilots.
- Continental air crash reporter: Capt. Marvin Renslow and First Officer Shaw were chatting about their careers.
- Michael Moore: "Careers" is a euphemism for what the pilots were really talking about: how little they were paid, and how overworked they were. There would be no discussion in the Media about why we have an economic system that allows a pilot to be paid less than a manager at Taco Bell.
- George W. Bush: [speaking at the Manhattan Institute] Capitalism offers people the freedom to choose where they work and what they do.
- Lady in Restaurant: [reading the classified ads] There isn't anything in here. I'm not going to be a gentlemen's club hire dancer either.
- Michael Moore: Many people didn't realize that we have an actual socialist in the Senate... although he is from the gay state of Vermont.
- A cow: I do!
- Chesley Sullenberger: Flying has been my lifelong passion. But while I love my profession, I do not like what has happened to it. It is my personal experience that my decision to remain in the profession I love has come at a great financial cost to me and to my family. My pay has been cut 40%. My pension, like most airline pensions, has been terminated. So please do not think I exaggerate when I say that I do not know a single professional airline pilot who wants his or her children to follow in their footsteps.
- Baron Hill: I've got Michael Moore with me. You know who Michael Moore is, don't you? The film director. He's filming me right now.
- Man with palsy: Please help me. I've been this way for over 20 years.
- Jesus: I'm sorry. I cannot heal your pre-existing condition. He'll have to pay out of pocket.
- Don Regan: [to Ronald Reagan] You're gonna have to speed it up.
- Michael Moore: Who tells the President to speed it up?
- [Photo of Don Regan]
- Michael Moore: The man from Merrill Lynch, that's who.
- Michael Moore: You know, I can't really do this anymore, unless those of you who are watching this in the theater want to join me. I hope you will. And please... speed it up.
- Wallace Shawn: The basic law of life is that if you have things, you can easily get more things. Very quickly, one guy can have five times more than anybody else.
- Michael Moore: [through a bullhorn outside the New York Stock Exchange] Federal prison is a nice place!