Horrible Bosses (2011)
Jason Bateman: Nick Hendricks
Photos
Quotes
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Detective Hagan : Do you want to explain why you were doing 61 in a 25 zone? One block from the victim's house. Just moments after he got shot dead.
Nick Hendricks : I was drag-racing. I'm a drag-racer.
Detective Samson : You were drag-racing.
Nick Hendricks : [nods]
Detective Samson : In a Prius.
Nick Hendricks : I don't win a lot.
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Kurt Buckman : C'mon! Let's do this! Think about Gam-Gam! Wouldn't she want her favorite grandson to be happy?
Nick Hendricks : She wouldn't want me to kill him.
Kurt Buckman : You gotta forget about Gam-Gam. She's dead. Move on.
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Kurt Buckman : [last lines - out-take] Wouldn't mind bending her over a barrel and showing her the 50 states, right?
Nick Hendricks : I don't know what that means.
Kurt Buckman : It's a phrase.
Nick Hendricks : I don't think so.
Kurt Buckman : Yeah, it is. Certainly it is. Definitely it is.
Nick Hendricks : Really?
Kurt Buckman : Yeah, it's from a movie.
Nick Hendricks : [negative head shake] uh-uh.
Kurt Buckman : It is now.
[looking into camera]
Nick Hendricks : Beautiful.
[winks at the camera]
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Dale Arbus : [about Bobby Pellit] Why would you put his whole bathroom in your ass?
Kurt Buckman : I didn't know I had DNA in my butt!
Dale Arbus : You're lying! You *know* there's DNA in your butt! You just like shoving shit in your ass, you fucking pervert!
Nick Hendricks : We are lawyering up, man. That's it.
Dale Arbus : I don't have money for a lawyer, okay! I bought a very expensive ring that I can't afford, then I gave the rest of my motherfucking money to Motherfucker Jones!
Kurt Buckman : That's who we should talk to.
Nick Hendricks : Sure. Why not? He's covered us this far, right? Five grand?
Dale Arbus : Five thousand... forty, with the briefcase.
Kurt Buckman , Nick Hendricks : Shut the fuck up about that case!
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Dean 'MF' Jones : First thing first: we gotta handle business.
Kurt Buckman : Mm-hmm.
Dean 'MF' Jones : I need $5000.
Kurt Buckman : No!
Dale Arbus : No!
Nick Hendricks : There's gonna be no more money.
Dale Arbus : No!
Dean 'MF' Jones : $2000?
Dale Arbus : No.
Nick Hendricks : Absolutely not.
Kurt Buckman : No way, Motherfucker. No.
Dean 'MF' Jones : [sighs in defeat] All right, look... pay for my drinks.
Dale Arbus : Pay for his drinks? Yeah.
[to Nick]
Dale Arbus : Pay for his drinks.
Nick Hendricks : I'll do that.
Dale Arbus : Not a very good negotiator.
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Nick Hendricks : I'm such a sucker! Harken was never gonna promote me...
Kurt Buckman : That coked-up prick is gonna ruin Pellit Chemicals. He's just gonna fire everybody!
Dale Arbus : She stood there with her breasts, right in my face!
Kurt Buckman : ...Y'know, yours doesn't sound that bad.
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Nick Hendricks : Where were you during the murder?
Kurt Buckman : I was making love. I was making love to a woman. You know... murdering some ass.
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Dale Arbus : [Talking to man on NavGuide] Hey, I always wondered these kinds of things, but is your real name Gregory?
Atmanand : [in Indian accent] Um, no, sir. Standard NavGuide protocol is to use names American people find easy to pronounce. My real name is Atmanand.
Kurt Buckman : You know what, buddy, I'm not gonna play by the rules. I'm gonna call you Akmantad.
Nick Hendricks : Atmonent.
Atmanand : [slowly pronouncing] At-man-and.
Kurt Buckman : I'm just gonna call you Gregory cuz that name is a fuckin' nightmare, buddy, let me tell you.
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Kurt Buckman : You don't fucking punch the driver!
Nick Hendricks : Yeah, you don't punch the driver, man.
Dale Arbus : I'm coked out of my fucking head, I can punch whoever I want to!
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[first lines]
Nick Hendricks : I get to work before the sun comes up, and I leave long after it's gone down. I haven't had sex in 6 months with someone other than myself. And the only thing in my refrigerator is an old lime. Could be a kiwi, no way to tell.
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Nick Hendricks : [narrating] Strangely enough, lucky for Kurt, there's no laws on the books against putting people's toiletries up your ass.
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Dave Harken : If I was gonna put my balls in honey and shaved coconut, you'd do that too?
Nick Hendricks : I would not.
Dave Harken : Sure?
Nick Hendricks : Yeah.
Dave Harken : 'Cause I've got some coconut.
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Nick Hendricks : I don't have sleeve gloves.
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Nick Hendricks : Okay, we're following a strange guy into a dark corner.
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Dale Arbus : At least you boss isn't sexually harassing you.
Kurt Buckman : Oh my god, here we go again.
Dale Arbus : Don't give me that.
Nick Hendricks : You'll never get any sympathy out of us for this.
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Nick Hendricks : Dean Jones, that's the same name as the actor in "Herbie, the Love Bug".
Kurt Buckman : Yeah, he's not gonna know who that is.
Dean 'MF' Jones : I know who he is, bitch.
Kurt Buckman : Sorry.
Dean 'MF' Jones : I can't walk around this freakin' neighborhood with that Disney-ass name.
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Nick Hendricks : How's it going over there? What do you know about Julia?
Kurt Buckman : I've learned that I gotta switch dentists 'cause this woman is unbelievably hot.
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Nick Hendricks : Where are you two gonna find a hit man?
Dale Arbus : Why don't you guys leave that up to me, okay? I got this whole thing figured out. I'm gonna give you a call tomorrow and tell you where to meet me.
Kurt Buckman : Why don't you just tell us now?
Dale Arbus : 'Cause... I don't have it figured out.
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Nick Hendricks : [talking about fleeing to Canada] We'll learn the metric system. We gotta buy coats and sweaters and learn hockey and all that shit.
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Wetwork Man : Oh, and by the way, I still will want my $200.
Nick Hendricks : Understandable.
Kurt Buckman : We insist.
Nick Hendricks : Two hundred, huh? A bargain.
Kurt Buckman : To kill three people?
Dale Arbus : I thought it was such a good deal.
Kurt Buckman : Dipshit. Unbelievable.
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Nick Hendricks : [seeing Rhonda coming out of the same bathroom where Kurt went] Kurt, what happened there?
Kurt Buckman : Oh, uh she was giving me a tour of the mouth -- House.
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Kurt Buckman : Okay. All right. I'm gonna go home too.
Nick Hendricks : Well, you are. This is your house here.
Kurt Buckman : Oh. I couldn't tell that by the way you go in and out of my fridge drinking all my fucking beer.
